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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? (2826 Views)
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Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 6:31pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Back in the day when I used to date, my ex came to my house straight from the hospital looking really depressed. He said all the male patients he attended to had their female relative taking care of them. Could be their wife, mother, sister, daughter or inlaw. Whereas all the female patients had not one single male relative. He said there were elderly patients who had been at the hospital for months and for one day, their sons never visited. Their daughters would raise money and still alternate the nursing duties. Daughter one will stay one month. Daughter 2 will stay the next. Daughter 3 will stay. And so on. All the sons do is call on phone. That's all. Not one visit. Yet the sons are always listed as next of kin. Interestingly, most of these women were married and had jobs in faraway cities. Some had to give up their jobs, some had to take leave, while some had to ask to be transferred just so they could take care of their parents. Some of them actually go to work from there. He ended it by saying he wanted girls. That didn't sit right with me because it seemed he wanted girls as potential caregivers and nothing more. But since I knew I wasn't going to be the mother of those bedside daughters, I kept my thoughts to myself. Apart from the stats he pulled from the hospital, I noticed same trend in our society. Husband is sick. Wife cares for him. Carries him everywhere. Does everything for him. Stays with him at the hospital. Gets a loan to use and blablabla. Wife is sick. Wife's relatives come to take care of her. Wife's relatives carry her everywhere. Wife's relatives do everything for her. Wife's relatives stay with her at the hospital. Wife's relatives get a loan to use and blablabla. Husband starts cheating to relieve the "stress" of his wife's sickness. I thought this was a Nigerian/African thing, but it is not. It is a universal thing. In the western world, only 3% of wives leave their husbands when they are ill. But among women, about 21% of husbands leave their wives after they became ill. The men leave within 6 months of the diagnosis. This one is not from the bureau of inverifiable facts. This was from a detailed research that studied men and women and their fight or flight reactions to spousal illhealth. I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to remind you, woman, to put yourself first. When shit hits the fan, you are all you've got. These men ain't loyal!! Copied 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by NextD18: 6:32pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
You don carry your mumu from Romance section come here!!! Both you and the person you copied this piece of shiiiit from are insane! That your dad isn't always with you like your mum when sick doesn't mean he isn't trying his best out there to cater for you to be cured and recovered!! Shock the world as a Nigerian lady by sounding reasonable. 6 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Davash222(m): 6:33pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Daughters are to stay with their parents at the hospital while the sons go and hustle money for hospital bills. If everyone stay at the hospital, how will they pay for bills? It's time you girls drop this una nonsense feminism that is making you girls look and act like dummies. 4 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by crackkhaus: 6:38pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
I thought this one was in love with another Nairalander just a week ago... What happened? He ain't loyal? 9 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 6:47pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
You don't know where the thread is going? I think you do. I think we all do. This thread = men are evil/men are scum. 2 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Davash222(m): 6:50pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
crackkhaus:No sane guy will stand the nags of an evening newspaper. 2 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 6:53pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
NextD18:don't be a brute. Answer the question instead of typing like a rabid dog 17 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 6:55pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Davash222:hustling for money, doesn't stop you as a man from visiting and spending time with parents. Daughters hustle and bring money, they also still look after their parents. You have no excuse. 16 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 6:56pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
In my line of work, I see things like this happen everyday. There was only one exception to the rule tho. They were hausa, wife travelled from gombe state to Lagos to visit her husband with a 6 month old pregnancy. Two days later, she started developing seizures, and behaving mental. She was brought to our hospital at 3am. No one needed to tell us that she had eclampsia. She probably wasn't going for antenatal care. This woman couldn't speak English but was behaving irrationally then would have a seizure and sleep. We had to restrain her while trying to crash her blood pressure which >300/180mmhg. She was at death's door, and the best thing would have been to induce the baby and deliver it. The pregnancy had to be terminated. But induction failed. So we had to rush her to theatre to do a hysterotomy after which we placed her in ICU. She was still delirious after surgery, and even removed her WOUND DRESSING. When she got better, the wound broke down. All through this, her husband was there, did everything without fail. He never faltered, not absconded. Till she recovered. We need to raise our sons better. 20 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Davash222(m): 7:04pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2:Funmi, abeg I no get strength for your wahala this evening. Dey go. |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:09pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
I haven't complete reading this Piece but the assumption are so wrong...First do you expect a man to be looking after another man's wife what do you think would be running over the husband mind.Abi would he be helping her evacuate urine let say she has a surgery ..men are very kind hearted but they are limits else people would read meaning into it.Women also like their privacy they can't be undressing in front of a man...So the women are the problem of themselves....yeye assumption that all men are next of kins...as if women are not the biggest manipulator of their Papas. |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:13pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Davash222:you called me an evening newspaper. I'm offended. Why should I let you go? 3 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Blakjewelry(m): 7:13pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Interestingly I was having a discussion with a friend about how female children takes more care of their parents than boys, he totally disagree with me |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by misreal(m): 7:14pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Very faulty thread.. 1 Like |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:14pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
The men are hustling to pay for the hospital fees. If they come and sit down with the daughters and the wives where will the money to pay come from? Also, men marry for sex. If a wife is unhealthy and not up for sex, what is the point of remaining in the marriage? But a woman with a sick husband will stick around for the upcoming inheritance. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:15pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
uruba23:we are talking about the types of illnesses that keeps you bed ridden. Cases of Breast, ovarian and cervical cancers are the most pitiful, followed by renal failure. No husband who took vows with her, it is only the daughters, if she's fortunate to have any. Men need to do better 2 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Davash222(m): 7:15pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2:I’m sorry, morning newspaper. |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:16pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix:it doesn't stop them from spending time and helping to nurse a sick parent to health. Sex is not why men should marry. If not all prostitutes will get married. The man took vows and should take them seriously 11 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:17pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Davash222:I am a lady, not a piece of paper with current affairs. What you are doing is wrong. Is this what you will call your wife, mother, sister or female friend? 15 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:19pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2: You can't work and nurse at the same time. I have alternated with my wife to stay with a sick child for a week. It was terrible because my wife just left her work entirely so she could sleep during the day, while I still had a business to run in the daytime and still stay awake at night. I was sometimes going for 48 hours without sleep with a few hours sometimes in between. In the end I left it to her and her then yet to be married sister. At least I tried. Lol. 2 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Vyolet(f): 7:20pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
You are right with this, many times, women are the ones that stay with sick persons either, children, parents, parent-inlaws, and mostly husbands. The men usually leave the responsibility to the women with the belief that they provide the finance even though women do both, that is they care and they provide. But There are exceptions, I am a witness to how much a man cares for his wife anytime she is ill and admitted in the hospital or anytime she puts to bed. I have seen a grandfather cater for his granddaughter on the hospital bed and many other cases. The percentage of men that are this responsible are few though hence the general assumption that women care more for sick relatives. 6 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by dominique(f): 7:26pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
There's an element of truth in the write up though not all men are like that. I was admitted early this year, the lady I shared a ward with had a miscarriage and appendicitis surgery. It was her elser sister by her side throughout the time I was there. I only got to see her husband on the day I got discharged which was the 3rd day I spent there. That aside, I've seen countless men stay by their wives side when ill but the number is considerably lower than women who put their lives on hold to nurse their husbands to health 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:29pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Blakjewelry:he needs to visit a hospital ward |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:30pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2:If you talk about Ovarian cancer I can tell you Gen Babangida stood by his wife till the very end.I think there was one of the husband of the daughter of Oba Sijuade that was practically bathing the lady when she was paralyze so it is just assumption people are different relationship are different . 1 Like |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:30pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix:I know a lot of people mostly women who do |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
uruba23:I never said all men. I am talking of majority 1 Like |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
uruba23:only 2 cases |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:32pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix:you are the exception to the rule. |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:33pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2:Two public case |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:34pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2: It is you doctors that will target the man to be sending upandan. "Go and bring blood", " go and pay for test", "go and find money for operation", "go and buy drug". I've been to hospitals you know. funmisticqueen2: Exclusive sex is what I meant. Sex with prostitutes is anything but exclusive. funmisticqueen2: Those vows were probably written by women. Most men just utter them without attention. Trust me, at that point in time, all men wish they had a fast forward button. We just repeat what we are told to repeat while mentally scheduling the different styles that we will utilise that night. So we can truthfully say that those vows were taken in a state of unconsciousness/under duress. 2 Likes |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by Nobody: 7:34pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2:I think someone told you men do hustle... |
Re: Dear Wives, Is In Sickness And In Health, For Better For Worse Really True?? by 24kmagic: 7:34pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
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