Sotland:


I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

Graxie:
Poster let me advice you ahead, please there are people you shouldn't waste your time replying. They are good in making light of women problems here, they applaud rapists, cheating, Child Abuse and even women slavery. Do yourself a favor by ignoring such, they are already here. Be wise. In fact it's enough, stop updating this thread, you have enough advice to pick from.

bukatyne:


In trying to tell the OP to 'forgive' her husband and resolve the issue, don't make light of her pains please.

I also do not know the wedding vows you are talking about. I see you mention Christian that's why I am quoting you.

You are the bigger hypocrite because you know what the husband did is wrong on all fronts. Except you are using the Nigerian Bible, you would acknowledge that the husband broke his vows by committing adultery.

bukatyne:

This bitterness is very unbecoming of someone who has 'Jesus is coming soon' as her signature.

Let's assume someone offended you by giving 'wrong' advise (if such a thing exists), why can't you practice forgiving the person 70 * 7 times in a day?

Repent, Jesus is really coming soon.

Sotland:


I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

Sotland:


I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

Mavis3:
Hmmmmm. People have suggested all you mentioned to me but I never wanted to get myself involved in dubious or diabolic way of getting pregnant and to live with the guilt all my life knowing how the baby came about.

He asked me this morning if I have thought through what he told me yesterday. I said I am still thinking about it but I have also been thinking about having separates account once the lockdown is over. And when we do that, we will now discuss how the upkeep of his child will be.
He said but we decided on a joint account before we got married and it has been working for us. I told him just like we took a vow of for better or worse and I can see how that is working for us now.

That's what I told him this morning. I have never spoken to my husband in the manner I spoke to him this morning and surprisingly I don't feel bad at all.

bukatyne:
@Mavis3:

I read your last update and I am going to give you a very clinical advise.

I have already advised you have a separate purse from your husband; you no longer have common goals. Sad but true.

If you are Yorubas, just accept that you have a co-wife. Yes, you do not want one. I hear you, I feel you HOWEVER you are at a disadvantaged position right now.

IF you had your kids and a source of income, you can take your kids and walk; no lele. You can decide to re-marry later to a fellow divorcee or widower or whatever, your call.

BUT, you do not have kids and the problem is yours.

EXCEPT you marry another man as a 2nd wife, an older widower, an older divorcee AND you have decided to forget about kids, your current husband is going to be the person MOST vested in ensuring you have kids.

You can lay your conditions:
1. You are not sharing the house with a co-wife;
2. You are not doing joint anything again;
3. If you have joint assets, look for ways to separate them;
4. You know in your mind that your husband is not a friend, he is a companion.
5. If you have a lot of funds after your private expenses, heavy investment and leisure, you can contribute a tiny fraction to your husband's love child.
6. You also have more time on your hands, he has a second wife. Whatever you did not have time to do before, there is time now.

Keep your eyes and heart on the ball/goal: getting your own children.

That is all that matters right now in this mess.

Goodluck.

Gift7428:
All this stress on a human because she is a woman?
If tables were moved around, the husband wouldnt go through such for her.

This poster will blossom else where.
The man loves her money.That is all.
She is only disadvantaged when she still persist there.

crackkhaus:

Teerach:
Most times, the presence of a child brings in another child..... Forgive yourself, your husband and get that baby into your lives.

Sotland:


I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

bukatyne:
@Mavis3:

I read your last update and I am going to give you a very clinical advise.

I have already advised you have a separate purse from your husband; you no longer have common goals. Sad but true.

If you are Yorubas, just accept that you have a co-wife. Yes, you do not want one. I hear you, I feel you HOWEVER you are at a disadvantaged position right now.

IF you had your kids and a source of income, you can take your kids and walk; no lele. You can decide to re-marry later to a fellow divorcee or widower or whatever, your call.

BUT, you do not have kids and the problem is yours.

EXCEPT you marry another man as a 2nd wife, an older widower, an older divorcee AND you have decided to forget about kids, your current husband is going to be the person MOST vested in ensuring you have kids.

You can lay your conditions:
1. You are not sharing the house with a co-wife;
2. You are not doing joint anything again. Since he is capable to have two families, he should be able to fend for them;
3. If you have joint assets, look for ways to separate them;
4. You know in your mind that your husband is not a friend, he is a companion.
5. If you have a lot of funds after your private expenses, heavy investment and leisure, you can contribute a tiny fraction to your husband's love child.
6. You also have more time on your hands, he has a second wife. Whatever you did not have time to do before, there is time now.

Keep your eyes and heart on the ball/goal: getting your own children.

That is all that matters right now in this mess.

Goodluck.

elektra:



Lol, classic Nigerian Christianity.

Husband commits adultery
Nigerian christian: bible does not condemn polygamy, husband did not break any vows, he loves and cares for wife because they share the same roof.

Wife refuses to fund child
Nigerian christian: bible preaches forgive and forget, to separate finances is a sign of unforgiveness, such a grave sin.

elektra:



Lol, classic Nigerian Christianity.

Husband commits adultery
Nigerian christian: bible does not condemn polygamy, husband did not break any vows, he loves and cares for wife because they share the same roof.

Wife refuses to fund child
Nigerian christian: bible preaches forgive and forget, to separate finances is a sign of unforgiveness, such a grave sin.

ayanbaba2:



...you mentioned Christian (forgive & forget), marriage vows and hypocrite in your comment!

your IQ is "superb".

just read what you wrote line-by-line. You shouldn't have pen this down!

hypocrite!

Livecamp09:


She's asking a psychological question and not a spiritual question .. is everything about prayer?... The way some people think at times sha smhfy

ayanbaba2:


that Sotland moniker brain has been infested by COVId_20!

he just proved he's a Nigerian!

adedayoa2:
You're crazy, talking to her as if she's at fault.

Sotland:


I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

sassysure:

U missed one important thing and this usually happens most of the time.
The man may eventually chose to live with the 2nd wife cum girlfriend.
His love is hugely divided and right now, the girlfriend and child has more. The house will eventually become toxic for both of them. It will never be like before. And the man will simply port to the other woman and her child. Don't forget that his family will eventually come after her if she withdraws financially.

All options are open. She should chose one that she can handle.
I really feel for her.

RisenPhoenix:


Okay now I get. I didn't go deeply through the op's post because it seems that her complaint is not relevant at all. Her husband should have just manned up in my opinion and married the second lady before impregnating her, and there will have been no need for any begging.

And the husband did not say that he wants to bring the baby home for her to take care of; either financially or physically. And even if he did say so, he is not doing it in a deceitful way by pretending that the baby is hers but with her full consent. There is no equivalence between this and what women do via paternity fraud where they deceitfully trick a man into ignorantly taking care of a baby that is not theirs.

Sixfeetbelle:


You said a man will never bring such child to his home. This man is doing so. Simple.

Everyother reasoning you've reached here matters not.

bukatyne:


All my posts on this thread is with that goal in mind especially as I suspect they are a Yoruba couple.

My people don't reject a child once the acclaimed father has said 'he /she is my child'.

I want her to have her own babies and this man is her best bet.

The husband is most likely gone.

RisenPhoenix:


Madam. There is no equivalence. Compare between what his wife is losing by his act of getting a baby with someone else; i.e.nothing; with what a man loses when his wife deceitfully does the same; i.e. his money and his time.

And he didn't say he wants to bring the baby home for her to care for. He said he wants to be part of his baby's life... presumably the baby stays with its mama.

Sixfeetbelle:


I've said it before and I'll say it again: I won't argue men vs women issue with you. What I showed you was to contradict your point some days back about a man not bringing his lovechild into his marriage like a woman would. This man is doing it. Simple.