VivleBriella:


Thank you sir

That's a deadbeat boyfriend right there o. Do noy give the man any shishi again! Don't tolerate what you don't like.. What rubbish is that one? What kinda lazy siblings him get? Babe yiu deserve better jor. Why can't he support you? Abi na yiu toast am?

Nawa oo.
Don't you think you deserve Better? And he's even feeling entitled.
Shameless men of this generation

SweetCunt97:
That's a deadbeat boyfriend right there o. Do noy give the man any shishi again! Don't tolerate what you don't like.. What rubbish is that one? What kinda lazy siblings him get? Babe yiu deserve better jor. Why can't he support you? Abi na yiu toast am?

Asin eeh.
Things deh happen o.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone
I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him, yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially, I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough, this is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back, is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

You guys are still dating not as if he is married to you and you have borrowed him such a huge amount to settle his brothers and you said he is a bread winner,

What makes you think he the bread winner or bread Baker of his family

Were you giving him such money with the hope of getting married or with the hope of getting it back and if you don't get it back then marriage is definitely going to take place

I hope you know that his family will not give him chance to marry until he is done caring for thier own families

Well if you think you want it to lead to marriage, stop borrowing him money start saving so that even if he marries you, you can face your own family and he will face his fathers family if that will be the case

Secondly bread winners don't borrow to take care of his siblings, he does that from his own pocket

At your age, you are too young to carry family responsibilities and he will eve get mad at you that you cared less about his family, what about your own family menbers, don't they need help ❓

Anyway is your choice, but use this lock down as excuses and start complaining that you don't have money, continue singing it to his hearing and start requesting for the ones you have already given him

Once you see money with him start your own family complains so that you can retrieve your money

Don't be surprise if he doesn't marry you at last probably its your good heart that made him to be with you for three years so thst he will keep obtaining from you

Nonsense ❗

How can someone that borrows from you be a bread winner
How am I sure his family knows that you are the one giving him those money or do you think he will tell them its from you

No ❗❗, he will not

Paxie55:
Nawa oo.
Don't you think you deserve Better? And he's even feeling entitled.
Shameless men of this generation

EXTREMELY SHAMELESS MEN OF THIS GENERATION
worst is that he wont even marry her cause he would have use all resources on his family and would be feeling entitled to her sponsoring the marriage (MARRYING HIM WITH SUCH ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY IS EVEN A PROB ON ITS OWN)

jaksmillioniar:
so u want to marry him and keep him alone dats wicked. his older one dont have today dont mean dey wont have tomoro.let ur heart be clean

Did you read the post?

One of those stories

Pitch women against men and disappear or pitch men against women let them kill themsleves.

Babe, abeg come help me find work in this your company o. They seems to be paying well

Me too I need money
I'm a friend from afar

Stacyomolola:

EXTREMELY SHAMELESS MEN OF THIS GENERATION
worst is that he wont even marry her cause he would have use all resources on his family and would be feeling entitled to her sponsoring the marriage (MARRYING HIM WITH SUCH ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY IS EVEN A PROB ON ITS OWN)

Lol. True.
She will marry him, sponsor the marriage and be feeding him and his family and upon that, he will be feeling entitled to her money with the dangerous ego of an average stupid Nigerian man.
It's terrible.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone
I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him, yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially, I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough, this is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back, is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

OMG!!!!
At 24, already feeding a man and his entire family

Saintmary:

OMG!!!!
At 24, already feeding a man and his entire family

I off small

DominusPrime:
This will continue as long as you tolerate it. My simple advice? Walk away.

Gbam!

Ishilove:
Chai! May God deliver us from shameless men who see nothing wrong in borrowing from a woman.

See, if I were you, talk to your legs otherwise you will just get old before your time if you make the mistake of marrying him.

You think it is shameless for a man to borrow from his woman? Or any woman at all?

yeyeosoronga:


A man of integrity won't borrow money from his girlfriend and not pay back.
Imagine if that kind of person would borrow money from a friend, he most definitely will never pay back.
It also shows he is living above his means, and pretending to people to be what he is not.
Any woman should be weary of such a person, even if his headgame is banging, because such folks are full of head games.

I thought I have read it all!

bukatyne2:


You think it is shameless for a man to borrow from his woman? Or any woman at all?

It is shameless to borrow from his woman without returning.

yeyeosoronga:


A man of integrity won't borrow money from his girlfriend and not pay back.
Imagine if that kind of person would borrow money from a friend, he most definitely will never pay back.
It also shows he is living above his means, and pretending to people to be what he is not.
Any woman should be weary of such a person, even if his headgame is banging, because such folks are full of head games.

100likes

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone
I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him, yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially, I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough, this is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back, is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

What does your boyfriend do to make money?

Why are you calling your relationship parasitic? Are you saying your boyfriend does not DO ANYTHING for you in your relationship for the past three years?

Paxie55:

Lol. True.
She will marry him, sponsor the marriage and be feeding him and his family and upon that, he will be feeling entitled to her money with the dangerous ego of an average stupid Nigerian man.
It's terrible.

And he will still cheat, with lots of women.
He figures that if she's so desperate to keep him by becoming his ATM, she'll put up with anything

Saintmary:

And he will still cheat, with lots of women.
He figures that if she's so desperate to keep him by becoming his ATM, she'll put up with anything

Lool. True

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone
I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him, yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially, I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough, this is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back, is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

My dear, since you have money, go to the market and buy 15,000 ring, go down on your knees and propose to your 'girlfriend'.
That 500k, you should have spent it on wedding and groom price.
Nairaland girls rushing to your wedding to take pictures be like

Inyayiz:


I off small

As in ehn
I just weak

You better dialogue with your legs... You're only 24, a blessed 24yr old lady ti owo e ji si owo(you even make money at an age like that).... In fact put the relationship on hold!

Walk away

There’s nothing wrong in marrying someone who’s struggling with the intention of being independent and genuinely working to be independent. I always say no one can provide for you like you can provide for yourself. Few man can provide for you 100% and it’s the same with women.

So why are you letting him make you feel like you’re doing something wrong for not wanting to carry his family burden?

The main problem I’m seeing here is not that he borrows money from you. It’s that he’s borrowing it to support other people. That shows poor management on his part.

There is always a contrived fuss when a man is at the receiving end, but if it is a woman, it suddenly becomes the man's obligation. You have got two problems: a man who is the breadwinner of his family and his seemingly endless borrowing disposition.

My instinct tells me that, you resent his family's financial standing and, of course, will latch on any spurious reason to bolt. More so, the bleating of bimbos of Nairaland are united -- as always -- in an overwhelming demand for termination of the relationship. Be my guest!

cococandy:
There’s nothing wrong in marrying someone who’s struggling with the intention of being independent and genuinely working to be independent. I always say no one can provide for you like you can provide for yourself. Few man can provide for you 100% and it’s the same with women.

So why are you letting him make you feel like you’re doing something wrong for not wanting to carry his family burden?

The main problem I’m seeing here is not that he borrows money from you. It’s that he’s borrowing it to support other people. That shows poor management on his part .

Very true

And the fact that he is borrowing to sustain/feed them.

Not a one off project or sickness.

@op, I would advice you run o, in the long run love is not always enough to sustain you in the relationship.

My elder sister is in this kind of relationship with her husband family, my sister the story long o, my sister is regretting it daily, the marriage has crumble due to pressure and her inability to bear children,the story long oh, my sister.

Dear op don't waste your youthful age on parasitic relationship borrow leg and run, a word is enough for the wise. ( Aboro die lan so fun omo oluwabi to ba de nu adodin di.)

This is wrong. Flee and japa. They would never stop depending on him

bukatyne2:


You think it is shameless for a man to borrow from his woman? Or any woman at all?

How is she his "woman"?
Has he married her?
Investing your resources in uncertainties is not a wise thing to do

Don't allow anyone to either guilt-trip you to continue to self-slave for him or guilt-trip you to marry him, not because he's a family breadwinner. But because behind anyone with sense of entitlement is an abuser - especially emotional and psychological abuses, and they're worse than physical abuse.

Extricate yourself from his entanglement and look elsewhere for another man, if you value your sanity - of course, purge yourself of same attribute (egoism) that breeds it, if you possess it, now that you know how draining it could be on someone on the receiving end. Don't bother talking him out of his irritating attitude with an intention to continue with him, because he can easily take to pretence. Even if he changes (for good), let it be for the benefits of another woman who may come into his life, this is because of the following reason;

If he later becomes financial successful in the future more than you, he'll always remember more of the moments you refused to self-slave for him while forgetting the greater moments you gave in to his self-interest desires - people with entitlement mentality are like that. So, he'll continually resent you when he arrives financially.

The scenario playing out between the two of you is exactly the major type of scenario that usually results to "I was there for him/her when he had nothing but now that he's arrived, he's abandoned me." When someone utters this statement, it doesn't always mean that they weren't useful to the other person in their trying time, like most people do erroneously believe or make it seem, rather an egoist can hardly be pleased - loyalty in particular and faithfulness in general aren't their fortes. When they arrived financially, they tend to remember more of the time their benefactors refused to give in to their shenanigans while forgetting their benevolence. Egoism/self-interest (greed, selfishness and self-centeredness) is a vice.

Any close relationship between two people, or more people, where the parties involved don't mutually have altruistic interest towards each other can never produce mutual happiness and inner peace for everyone involved - in other words, anyone close to you who doesn't have altruistic interest towards you is a frenemy, and vice versa.

The only way to have a relatively harmonious relationship with someone with sense of entitlement is if s/he is more prosperous than you from the inception and continually remains the same, and provided that they value whatever bond that connects two of you while you, of course, remain conscientious.

There's nothing wrong with being humane, like you seem in the relationship, and there's nothing wrong with partners expecting goodness from each other. But there's everything wrong with his entitlement mentality - he has egoistic interest towards you.

bukatyne:


Very true

And the fact that he is borrowing to sustain/feed them.

Not a one off project or sickness.

For sure. A one time or few times financial boost is not an issue (at least to me). But the continuous dependence and more so not on his money is what’s worrying.

Everything seems to be a problem in this world. Don't marry first born because of family burden; don't marry last born because they're lazy; don't marry bread winner.. bla bla. Why don't y'all just stay single?


BTW, I don't see a correlation between your topic and your concerns. Your boyfriend is not a breadwinner. He's a broke, lazy, a manipulator, and a chronic breadwinner "debt-winner." These are the appropriate words based on your concerns.

Harllaby:
Honestly, the man is only being truthful to himself by asking his partner for money. So because you borrowed him 500k you feel like you can rub it on his face. The guy was never at fault from what you wrote instead you are the one that refuses to voice out your feelings by assuming he should know what you want.

Tell him how you feel and if he isn't what you want in a man, then go look for your type.

Comments like this are why whenever guys say that females who earn/have access to a substantial amount of money are too proud or will rub it in his face I take it with a grain of salt.