Lionessza6:
Don't complicate your life,respect your wife & your marriage, and you shall have peace of mind. What she is suggesting does happen in some cultures, but the woman usually talks to the elders 1st,and they are the ones that will recommend her the right* sperm donor in the family. What she is doing is creepy,sneaky and suspicious. One is left to think she was lusting over you all this while,& your uncle was a deterrent . Maybe she wants a younger man to awaken her senses ,and her need for another child is just an excuse to lure you into her web of deceit. Becareful with such people.

Wisdom is your middle name

Don't do it ,.....she had eyes for you before your uncle died,.,...

Women have a way of making things look simple ,..but when the trouble start ,you will know that simple math can be a very difficult math to solve ,...

Surely 80% is in your mind to do it, that is why you are asking for solution,...l know you will do it soon

mamaafrik:
It will end in tears,satani don enter that woman,flee.






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You are a true Bible scholar!!

Adeboyefa:


A brother-in-law is free to reject his brother's widow without being killed (Deuteronomy 25: 5 - 10). Ruth was rejected by her late husband's closest male relative ("to avoid ruining my own inheritance ",according to him) before marrying Boaz (Ruth 3:9 -4:10). It is a sin to marry a woman you know you won't be able to provide for (1 Timothy 5: 8 ).

Onan was killed because he CHOSE to marry Tamar (in order to inherit her late husband's property) and then refused to let her get pregnant. He was a dog in the manger, who wanted all of Er's property to go to his own children by other women, shortchanging both Er and Tamar. This is unlike Ruth's in-law, who forfeited both Ruth and her husband's property to Boaz (Ruth 4: 3 - 6).

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

If your tradition permits it and you are OK with it. Grant her humble request.

Modesthy:

You have said well and I'm grateful dear. But please how do u see in Christianity perspective? I'm a kind of a person who believe in heaven and hell. But I have tried to find scripture that's for or against the act but couldn't. That's I take to this forum. I don't want to meet my religious leaders over the issue. I'm looking forward to to your response.

Hell doesn’t exist, no man has ever been there back and forth. God isn’t evil, God won’t throw you in a blazing fire forever because you committed adultery. God is love

donproject:


Oga don't let me deceive you, these post are paid for before they get to the front page. Anyone who wants to argue should do that with his/her keypads

You're talking rubbish!

A post I made with my alternate moniker hit front page yesterday and I did not have to give money to anyone before that happened

Perhaps you are not familiar with this popular song by one notorious singer from the west that says, “Egungun be careful na express you Dey go”. Oga if I were you I will run for my dear life.
Those things that bleeds yet don’t die are very cunningly wicked and wise. Leave her alone guy!

enemyofprogress:
[s]how you did you know my area of specialization? I help girls especially widows to weed and plant on their farms. Women especially widows deserve to be happy. I also help sad and lonely married women. Thanks for your recognition and recommendation. Please always remember me 24/7 for me to continue the good work.[/s]


Ajepako and vickyrotex if una no recognise me some other people go recognise me. Prophet has no onion in his home town. Shioioor!

enemyofprogress:
[s]abeg do the thing jo. Help your uncle to finish what he started. A cousin in need is a cousin indeed. I wonder why me I no dey get this kind lock.

Ajepako and vickyrotex if una get this kind contract abeg make una call my number 07055559900. That's my direct line, only dominique has it, please don't give it to anyone especially mynd44.[/s]

See wetin osogbo weed don do to your life. Onion kor, cashew ni. sho ori a ra e!!!!

Modesthy:

I think her mum is involved in this her decision.

I understand most of the film we watch is what has happened, happening or about to happen to someone in real life so the need to drop this to whom it may concern.

After reading all the comments on front page, I went straight to read all your replies and the only thing I can see is that you really want to do it.

My main advice is that you should flee.

But if you are still adamant, then:-
1) speak with your wife first and follow whatever her decision is.
2) if she accept which I doubt, go to your uncle's family and let them know the situation on ground. What your uncle's wife mother said which you heard from your uncle's wife is irrelevant. The responsibility of who to wife your uncle's wife is not in your hand but your uncle's elder forum.
3) if they (your wife and your uncle's family) accept, then sit down and think if you can really love your two wives the same way which is the only condition for marrying more than one wife.


What gives her the assurance that she will even get pregnant or give birth again?
For how long will you continue to sleep with her before she will decide to stop terminating pregnancies just to keep enjoying you?
After having the 2nd child, what next, 3rd, 4th.....?
What if your uncle did not died till she reach menopause, would she have asked your uncle for a chance to sleep with you in order to have more children, or she will accept the one gift and they both nurture him well?
Why can't she look for a respected elder in the family she married to and discuss with him/her instead of coming to you?

You better think very well if you can cope with 2wives before you venture into it.

Also, if you must visit her, make sure you go with your wife as a family to avoid story that touch.

If she can't afford IVF, then she should go and remarry to have more children or stick to one child.

Let inform the helder's of the family and if they approved, But you may avoid if really you are a work in the house of God.

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

you mean when they practised judaism. are you forgettin he is married

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

And what does the new testament say? In the old people married more than one wife but from the beginning, it was not so. It was due to the hardness of their heart.

On his part that is against the ten commandments. He can be accused if infidelity cos he is married.

Certainly don't think its a nice idea though

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

From the look of things, she loves your family and doest want to remarry

Yes she us still at her productive age and wants an additional child

You have to bring it to the notice of the most elderly in your family, if you guys are all living peacefully

She knows that she is better of having a child from your family rather than getting a different blood from outside

It's usually done but with top secret from the kind men

The essence of involving the kins men is to accept the child into the family setting

Inform your dad if he is still around and in the absence of your dad the most senior in the family must be informed

As for your wife I think she doesn't need to be aware as I said earlier it's a top secret

But bear in mind that the child or children from her have no share in whatever you have and you don't have any financial obligations on the child unless you wish

Your main job is to pregnant her and see her through delivery after that, you pull out or continue if you can make it codedly

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

I am sorry if i sound rude. You said it is sin and u are coming to ask how can u handle to issue. Cant you look at her in the face and tell her she should go and remarry? Except your preek is beginning to scratch for another hole.
Dont mind those people quoting rubbish part of the bible.
People married more than one wife because of the hardness of the heart but from the beginning it was not so.
This is against ten commandments.
Up or uncle's wife is selfish, greedy. I am sure she saying this because of probably family wealth. If your family was wretched, will she say this nonsense she is bringing up?

Nobody prays to marry different husbands but unfortunately, the husband died. If she is claiming culture , so that u can get her pregnant. That same culture permits her to be impregnated by a different man outside the family and the child will bear the family name.

The woman is stupid, after one year she is saying such, she should have done it on the day her husband was laid to rest. Nonsense

frozen70:


From the look of things, she loves your family and doest want to remarry

Yes she us still at her productive age and wants an additional child

You have to bring it to the notice of the most elderly in your family, if you guys are all living peacefully

She knows that she is better of having a child from your family rather than getting a different blood from outside

It's usually done but with top secret from the kind men

The essence of involving the kins men is to accept the child into the family setting

Inform your dad if he is still around and in the absence of your dad the most senior in the family must be informed

As for your wife I think she doesn't need to be aware as I said earlier it's a top secret

But bear in mind that the child or children from her have no share in whatever you have and you don't have any financial obligations on the child unless you wish

Your main job is to pregnant her and see her through delivery after that, you pull out or continue if you can make it codedly

You are a terrible person.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Are you Igbo? A lot of modern day Igbo people barely know our deep/ancient Igbo practices. She may not be wrong after all, it is Igbo culture that a relative of a dead male could produce more children on behalf of the deceased because in Igbo culture and only the man who pays the bride price of a woman owns all children produced by that woman. Before the British arrival and the introduction of DNA testing, all children produced belong to the man who paid the bride price. Thus, the woman could get pregnant outside but the foreigner was never considered the father of that child.

This brings us to the concept of 'nwunye di', ie sister-in-law. The wives of two brothers in Igbo land would refer to themselves as 'nwunye di m', literally meaning, 'my husband's wife'. However. both women aren't married to the same man but to two different brothers. How then are they both 'nwunye di' to each other? That's because the Igbo culture, just like the ancient Hebraic culture, sees all brothers in a lineage as one and in the event of the death of one brother, another brother is able to step into the role of his late brother and perform certain roles, aka 'ikuchi nwanyi'. This practice is much less common today but still certainly practiced in some Igbo villages here and there.

In the wisdom of our ancient fathers, this tradition was an effective solution to infertility issues and negated the need for expensive and unnecessary IVF treatments of today. A man who was not fertile could invite a male relative or permit his wife to get pregnant outside. The male relative or male foreigner would never step up in the future to claim that child because he did not pay the bride price and thus does not own that child. The deal was done. That's it. A woman unable to produce could bring in her sister, friend or female relative for that purpose (aka surrogacy) and that child belonged to both man and wife.

Thus, this lady might see you as the same as your uncle (being from the same family) and any child produced by you, according to Igbo culture, isn't yours but your late uncle's. In other words, she's asking you to practice deep Igbo culture here. If you refuse, she may find another capable male relative of your uncle or even a foreigner and, again in Igbo culture, these children produced, if any, would belong to your late uncle. DNA wise (oyibo invention), they aren't his. You see, if she requested this of you 200 years ago, you wouldn't think twice about it (because it was the norm), but it sounds unconventional to we today living in an entirely changed culture/era.

I'm not supporting either of you, just giving you a better understanding of where she comes from.

My 2 cents.

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

In Igboland, it's not a taboo. But I can't do it.

Mindlog:


Ikuchi nwanyi (which many have done away with due to Christianity and westernization) have to involve other members of the family. You having a child with her would mean she will be more of your second wife and you will also have obligations to provide for her and the children and constantly spending time at her place and having sexual relationships with her as she is more or less also your wife because what she is presenting to you is the need to procreate but companionship will also be in the mix.

Ask yourself, should you impregnate her will you not be spending time away from your own wife and go be with her during her pregnancy and birth?

Will it not affect your marriage?

Does it align with the faith you profess?

In summary, traditions evolves and not cast on stone.

The woman didn't demand for that. She just wants a child from him only. Simple. Some also do like you said, while some don't go to the extent of ikuchi that woman.

Modesthy:

Nobody forces anybody on a woman in my place. The advice I need is just based on conscience because I use to see the woman as somehow a mother and my uncle as a father. And moreso I'm a Christian. These were the reason I objected. But she keep telling me that I should think about her condition of having only one child.

With all sincerity, if you want to have peace in your home, I beg you in the name of the God u serve don't bed that woman. You can act as a father to her son but please to save the future mental state of your own children with your wife as well, stand your ground and let your uncle's go out and remarry.

Polygamy is no piece of cake. It transciends into hatred, jealousy and spiritual fights for many many more generations to come.

Im talking from experience with my father's family.
Be wise as a serpent. Don't do it. Save your family from that woman who's about to lure u into years unrest.

I rest my case.

mannyiyke:
The woman didn't demand for that. She just wants a child from him only. Simple. Some also do like you said, while some don't go to the extent of ikuchi that woman.

You honestly think it's that simple?

Smiles, men are truly naive to the whims and caprices of women. I pity you.

This boy dey pump Ime uncle wife he don tey.

Na so one prominent leader ime nephew dey pump Ime wife while he was incapacitated. Until the leader die, na soso the uncle dey watch.

May be god forgive you as the wife don get used to your tin.

ARE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS AWARE OF THIS?HOW OLD IS THE WOMAN?HOW MANY WIVES WERE WITH THE UNCLE BEFORE HE DIED?HAS HE ANY OTHER KIDS FROM OTHER WOMEN OR WIVES?

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

You probably ignored the part where she didn't have a child and besides I don't think they were forced.

victorian:






You honestly think it's that simple?

Smiles, men are truly naive to the whims and caprices of women. I pity you.

Don't pity me. I've seen women who did just that.

mannyiyke:
Don't pity me. I've seen women who did just that.

Well they've not told u the full story of Whats happening between them, the unfortunate man, his unfortunate wife and kids. They will make u feel it's just a simple request. Simple my foot!

victorian:







Well they've not told u the full story of Whats happening between them, the unfortunate man, his unfortunate wife and kids. They will make u feel it's just a simple request. Simple my foot!

I didn't doubt you, but I'm saying that it's not everyone. Some are just interested in being impregnated and then they'll bear and take care of their children. And I've seen it happen.

Lionessza6:
Don't complicate your life,respect your wife & your marriage, and you shall have peace of mind. What she is suggesting does happen in some cultures, but the woman usually talks to the elders 1st,and they are the ones that will recommend her the right* sperm donor in the family. What she is doing is creepy,sneaky and suspicious. One is left to think she was lusting over you all this while,& your uncle was a deterrent . Maybe she wants a younger man to awaken her senses ,and her need for another child is just an excuse to lure you into her web of deceit. Becareful with such people.

This time around na the woman de eye the guy.
This woman has a hand in the demise of her husband

But culturally I remember my great grand mother (my mother's father's mother) was married to and had children for her husband"s younger brother after her husband's demise. My maternal grandpa was born by the first husband while I know my maternal grand aunt and grand uncles born by the second husband

mannyiyke:
I didn't doubt you, but I'm saying that it's not everyone. Some are just interested in being impregnated and then they'll bear and take care of their children. And I've seen it happen.

Yes but if and only if the man is a dead beat dad, that's good for fucvking alone or if he's a control freak! While she's rich, such women would prefer to have him impregnate her and move on with her life in peace.
I've seen such scenario too

victorian:






While she's rich, such women would prefer to have him impregnate her and move on with her life in peace.
I've seen such scenario too

That's what I meant too.

mannyiyke:
That's what I meant too.

OK then