Poorboy:
you don't understand motherly love.

You don't know the sacrifice the mother might have made to the lady in question .

It's not a matter of loving the husband but her own personal conviction that her mother deserves a car.

The boy(husband) in question is a jealous type, the wife knew telling him he won't allow her buy the car.


Don't compare mother with husband it doesn't fall in the same sentence.

The bold part will eventually kill the marriage!

Loving one's mother isn't a crime or a bad thing, but she is married to another woman's son and she supposedly share his vision and they are both on mission...for a better life. Why not carry him along?

This man will feel jealous.

This man will feel belittle.

This man will feel lost in the marriage.

This man will feel humiliated.

This man's ego is brushed!

He may call it quit!

UjuJoan2:


It's funny how you guys throw the word feminism around whenever women refuse to cater for your needs.

A man is responsible for his family, and providing for them should be his utmost priority. He can buy a jet for his mother if he likes, but he has to provide for his family.

Does that justify the lady's action? What's the essence of being one, and making collective decisions. I hope you won't find it offensive if your husband buys such for the mum while you still jump BRT

Sylverly:
Now it's justifiable..? Naija ladies eeh..

See.all Nigeria guy want their wife to tell them how they spend their money but they won't disclose their own except in few occasions

olasaad:


See.all Nigeria guy want their wife to tell them how they spend their money but they won't disclose their own except in few occasions

Same way most (let me no say all) Nigerian ladies want their man to put them above their mother inlaw �

decatalyst:


This is not about a lazy man.

What he woman did is fundamentally wrong. How could she go ahead to do such a fantastic gifting and not informing her husband. I thought two have become one.

The man need to correct this...though it is going to be very hard because most people will think he is not happy about his wife buying car for her mother and this could lead to an even bigger issue that may not get settled in years (family wahala).

Also, maybe the wife doesn't love the husband as much as she loved her mother.

Yoruba would say "bi ina ba jo eni to jo omo eni tara eni laa koko gbon " (If fire is burning you and burning your child, you will first put out the one on you).

Your husband doesn't have a car and you buy one for your mother first? The love is in question here.

Maybe she didn't tell him because she knew he will stop her.

Let me paint this scenario for you. She grew up abandoned by her father as a child and the mother raised she a d her siblings single handedly. Sacrificed every comfort to make sure they all succed. She remembered how her mother would come pick them up as kids and they would trek long distances to get home, come rain or shine. Her father had the means but chose to abaondon them for her mother to suffer and raise them alone. As a child she pledged to herself to make sure her mother enjoys all the privileges she sacrificed to raise them. . . .

So tell me, if you were here, who would get the car, your mother or your husband? Bear in mind that the mother is advancing in age and may not live for much longer. Won't it be wise to take every opportunity to make her happy before life snatches her away?

Marriage doesn't mean you lose yourself or neglect your family.

In any case the man did not contribute to the car so what is the big deal?

decatalyst:


The bold part will eventually kill the marriage!

Loving one's mother isn't a crime or a bad thing, but she is married to another woman's son and she supposedly share his vision and they are both on mission...for a better life. Why not carry him along?

This man will feel jealous.

This man will feel belittle.

This man will feel lost in the marriage.

This man will feel humiliated.

This man's ego is brushed!

He may call it quit!

the wife knows the husband, it's a sacrifice the wife thought of for a very long time maybe even before getting married.


As a man you should have sense and leave somethings if you want a peaceful marriage.


If the wife bought the car for a boyfriend then it would have been a case.

Your friend should let go of the issue after all his wife has appologised, it's her money and she can spend it as she wishes.

Sylverly:
Same way most (let me no say all) Nigerian ladies want their man to put them above their mother inlaw �

Well it is their choice if they accept such

Poorboy:
yes oo but know your friend is a theif and an unrepentant leech.

..
How did u arrive at this??

Sylverly:
Does that justify the lady's action? What's the essence of being one, and making collective decisions. I hope you won't find it offensive if your husband buys such for the mum while you still jump BRT

Do you think the lady would have hid it from him if she didn't know he would kick against it?

I'm willing to jump BRT as far as my husband doesnt expect me to take the kids to school while doing that.

Uyi168:
..
How did u arrive at this??

it's very clear if you read what he wrote there very well.

UjuJoan2:


Maybe she didn't tell him because she knew he will stop her.

Let me paint this scenario for you. She grew up abandoned by her father as a child and the mother raised she a d her siblings single handedly. Sacrificed every comfort to make sure they all succed. She remembered how her mother would come pick them up as kids and they would trek long distances to get home, come rain or shine. Her father had the means but chose to abaondon them for her mother to suffer and raise them alone. As a child she pledged to herself to make sure her mother enjoys all the privileges she sacrificed to raise them. . . .

So tell me, if you were here, who would get the car, your mother or your husband? Bear in mind that the mother is advancing in age and may not live for much longer. Won't it be wise to take every opportunity to make her happy before life snatches her away?

Marriage doesn't mean you lose yourself or neglect your family.

In any case the man did not contribute to the car so what is the big deal?

I get the scenario you painted. You are merely appealing to emotion!

But trust me, it wouldn't have been wrong or become a topic of debate if she bought it before marriage (during courtship) or as a single woman. Imagine it is the mama calling the husband to inform him.


She is married for crying out loud! The husband deserves to be briefed, if two has truly became one!

LilMissFavvy:
Your friend should let go of the issue after all his wife has appologised, it's her money and she can spend it as she wishes.

Yes and the man can build a house somewhere and sell it and the buyer inform the woman later...its also his money, his wish to build and sell his first house!

What is wrong is wrong no matter who or what is involved! She ought to inform her HUSBAND!

decatalyst:


I get the scenario you painted. You are merely appealing to emotion!

But trust me, it wouldn't have been wrong or become a topic of debate if she bought it before marriage (during courtship) or as a single woman. Imagine it is the mama calling the husband to inform him.


She is married for crying out loud! The husband deserves to be briefed, if two has truly became one!

Only deep and raw emotion would make a woman do something so drastic. Remember she doesn't even have a car herself. She could have chosen to keep it for herself but she didn't.

I am pretty sure the lady must have told her husband her plans before now. The fact that she did it behind his back can only mean one thing . . . He tried to stop her!

UjuJoan2:


Only deep and raw emotion would make a woman do something so drastic. Remember she doesn't even have a car herself. She could have chosen to keep it for herself but she didn't.

I am pretty sure the lady must have told her husband her plans before now. The fact that she did it behind his back can only mean one thing . . . He tried to stop her!

I do not believe she did. At least it wasn't referenced in the write up. We have heard and read countless stories of how some women are the landlord of the house their husband pay rent for. Do not "assume" she did, because these views are premise on the need for her to have informed her husband. Two has become one!

Mtchewwwwwwwww

Every small thing , Divorce

Swtbabyvee:
Every small thing , Divorce

you discontinued the T or D... Was enjoying ya

They should find their way to resolve it.

LMAO

If it was the man that bought car for his mother, nairaland men will not let us hear word about their perfect mothers and how they deserve the entire world.

The lady should have discussed with her husband. It appears the husband’s ego has blocked his common sense, because this matter never reach divorce level.

Well if the roles were reversed and the man was the one buying a car for his mother when his wife is trekking and jumping danfo on the dailies... Most women will not let us hear word. They ll call the man all sorts of names, and tell him to go and marry his mother since she's more important to him.... Double standards everywhere. When a woman does something.. She's being a strong woman, she's standing up to patriarchy, she's acting within her rights as a woman. When a man does the same thing, they wail like an unfed toddler.

andrewtosin:
you discontinued the T or D... Was enjoying ya

no I didn’t o

decatalyst:


This is not about a lazy man.

What he woman did is fundamentally wrong. How could she go ahead to do such a fantastic gifting and not informing her husband. I thought two have become one.

The man need to correct this...though it is going to be very hard because most people will think he is not happy about his wife buying car for her mother and this could lead to an even bigger issue that may not get settled in years (family wahala).

Also, maybe the wife doesn't love the husband as much as she loved her mother.

Yoruba would say "bi ina ba jo eni to jo omo eni tara eni laa koko gbon " (If fire is burning you and burning your child, you will first put out the one on you).

Your husband doesn't have a car and you buy one for your mother first? The love is in question here.

True what she did's wrong... It's like the case of my neighbour whose wife lied that she was going to visit her parents in her state(south south). Not knowing that she went there to accept a job offer... At Exxon Mobil... Or so... The man was so furious, he didn't want to accept his wife back o, he was narrating his ordeal to me although he was drunk... me I didn't see anything wrong there cause I felt she wanted to make their lives better.... She worked there for like a year sha, she had to resign to save her marriage....


We shouldn't just make decisions on our own... Let your SO give his/her opinion....

Swtbabyvee:
no I didn’t o

okay... Shuu wee kwantinue from where you stopped?

addictiv:
Well if the roles were reversed and the man was the one buying a car for his mother when his wife is trekking and jumping danfo on the dailies... Most women will not let us hear word. They ll call the man all sorts of names, and tell him to go and marry his mother since she's more important to him.... Double standards everywhere. When a woman does something.. She's being a strong woman, she's standing up to patriarchy, she's acting within her rights as a woman. When a man does the same thing, they wail like an unfed toddler.
Mr op send that disrespectful and inconsiderate woman back to her mothers house.

But haven't you as a man always countered whatever the women say, and wailed to us that blood is thicker than water?
Brohoes over hoes and what not?
So why do you now think it's absurd when a woman decides to put the comforts of her own mother (who trained her and raised her through thick and thin) over her husband's?
Anyway, the only thing I fault her for is for not informing her husband. But she knows him better and he would have probably tried to prevent her, and asked her to buy the car for him instead too.
He should just try and save to buy a car for himself or perhaps get a car loan. Or perhaps cajole his wife so they can buy a family car, if it's that important to them.

The rate kids are on internet these days, displaying their ignorance and stupidity baffles me.

Most contributors on this thread are lame and immature.

Hence the clarity...

What is marriage?

Simply put, is the union of two adults in love, harmony and peace.

Back to the poster, I understand the man pains. I also believe him threatening [i]divorce[/i]was too strong a correctional word, perhaps he knows his wife( if she's the stubborn type) and sort to correct her via that, and I believe she has gotten the message.

What the wife did is bad. It shows she doesn't understand what marriage is all about which is ur immediate family first.

If she had done her kind gesture when they have a car, then it wouldn't be a case, but no matter what, both spouses be it the man and woman, must learn to communicate to each other first before carrying out any decision.

Doing a right thing at the wrong time can be so disastrous. Hence wisdom is needed.

Like I will say, any marriage where the man or woman hides his or her financial status to the partner isn't yet a union as their is no trust.

Husband let your wife know you, Wife let your husband know you.

If you can't do the above then why marry.

Oluneutral:
My friend kee you there.....

My friend this, my friend that.,...

Own up, heaven will not fall. You're your friend, only that shame and ego will not allow you to admit.


My friend kooo, my enemy ni.


Anyone who makes his/her money has the right to spend it the way he/she likes.

Are you married??

This story sounds similar to this

Just read news about a Pregnant wife who files for divorce because her husband bought a car for his mother

ibkayee:
This story sounds similar to this

I read about this too just some minutes ago, I think they are different stories

myles16:




I read about this too just some minutes ago, I think they are different stories

Possibly, maybe it's a coincidence I guess

ibkayee:

Possibly, maybe it's a coincidence I guess

Maybe it is the same story, the guy just twisted it a bit