femi4:
That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

But we still collect tithe in accordance with old testament traditions ABI? Confusing times.

Something you should present to your family elders you are here bringing it to nairalanders.

Goat.

Shey when e cast na we here go settle una family problems abi?

For you to be married i believe you are and should be matured enough to know what concerns "family" and try to keep outsiders from involving.

Grow up.

femi4:
That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

Is Malachi 3:10 no more part of the old testament?

Have you sought your wife's opinion or consent? She is the only one whose opinion counts in this matter.

Very reasonable questions?
Are you ready to have a defacto second wife?

Mindlog:


Ikuchi nwanyi (which many have done away with due to Christianity and westernization) have to involve other members of the family. You having a child with her would mean she will be more of your second wife and you will also have obligations to provide for her and the children and constantly spending time at her place and having sexual relationships with her as she is more or less also your wife because what she is presenting to you is the need to procreate but companionship will also be in the mix.

Ask yourself, should you impregnate her will you not be spending time away from your own wife and go be with her during her pregnancy and birth?

Will it not affect your marriage?

Does it align with the faith you profess?

In summary, traditions evolves and not cast on stone.

mamaafrik:
It will end in tears,satani don enter that woman,flee.






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Pork at 1,500 per kilogram.

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If you are interested(serious buyers only) reach me on 08137297425.
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With pay on delivery , call 08037085441

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Baba this only happens in some tribes like Igbo may ur culture encourages it. but my advice if you are a Christian don't do it. If otherwise do it'

My dear her demands are not ungodly as u may think but its also in d bible..that woman is now ur wife and u need to take care of her needs too..just all few elders in ur family to legalise it then take over ..God will bless u as u do this

Please don't do it because you are putting your immediate family at risk in future.
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9jaflave:
Have you sought your wife's opinion or consent? She is the only one whose opinion counts in this matter.

..u got it wrong..her wife opinion shouldnt count..the elders of her kin are the ones to decide since d woma has made her choice

Local woman na her kpekus dey scratch her be dat......
anyways you can inform your family members about it

Mutemenot:
This is a traditional issue, too many young men and women here 're advising you without considering the motive behind this. Remove this thread, better meet 1 or 2 elderly men probably from a far, who doesn't know you but shares the same culture with you. Seek their words!

You are wise

cheezy4real:


With pay on delivery , call 08037085441

No sir,that is not how business is done.

slowice:


Interested in the palm oil.... But hope is the same as the one we ve here

the stock on ground have been booked for by fellow Nairalanders who were very Swift to call yesterday,the next order is already affected by transport restrictions,its 100k now per drum Thanks for understanding.

.Note: Benin oil is better Nutritionally because of low cholesterol

Zico5:

Let's assumed I start business with this. What should be my gain and how could someone get buyer for the palm oil. Thanks

the oil has been booked by swift buyers from here,next stock is 100k per drum(215) litres from Benin republic,affected by travel restrictions.
Note: Benin oil is better Nutritionally because of low cholesterol.

Men

Always acting like helpless children when someone requests sex from them. Like they have no power to say yes or no. Very funny.

Zico5:

Let's assumed I start business with this. What should be my gain and how could someone get buyer for the palm oil. Thanks

gimme a call

To the infants of today, it will look absurd but that's d culture, she is doing it wrongly, let her talk to the elders first, then after that if you are interested you can go on. In those days, a woman is allowed to choose among the deceased kinsmen.

nick50:
..u got it wrong..her wife opinion shouldnt count..the elders of her kin are the ones to decide since d woma has made her choice

what does kids of this day knows......

What exactly are you confused about? Na wa for you oh
. This is nollywood abi?

cococandy:
Men

Always acting like helpless children when someone requests sex from them. Like they have no power to say yes or no. Very funny.

I tire.

Mutemenot:
This is a traditional issue, too many young men and women here 're advising you without considering the motive behind this. Remove this thread, better meet 1 or 2 elderly men probably from a far, who doesn't know you but shares the same culture with you. Seek their words!

Exactly sir you are on point, In some culture is d direct brother of your uncle can do it not you his nephew

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

I was calmly waiting to know where you come from before I respond. Our culture never forbid that, morality and correctness doesn't counter it in Igbo traditions too. The age gap is almost perfect and she is gradually creeping into menopause.


Moreover you should be the closest relative that can help out. 99.9% percent of those who are advising you against it knows nothing about its implications in our customs.

My advice, help your late uncle stabilise his lineage. If you are finding it difficult to do it on your own, seek the advice and consent of other significant figure in the extended family. And more importantly don't let your affair with her affect your family - it is very possible

lastclaire4:


You are a terrible person.

As terrible as you are, right ?

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

u mst nt sleep wit her ! Do IVF ..

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

It's not all about sleeping with her, you will also be responsible for training the child. It's more like getting a second wife

Donate your sperm if you must.

Maybe you have been doing her with condom, now she wants you guys to do without condom so that she can get pregnant. She is lonely and needs sex badly and using having more kids as an excuse to commit adultery.

Your uncle couldn't get her pregnant more that once because something was wrong with them. What made you think she will get pregnant? They had one 12 year old. Your uncle died at 51 about 3 years ago. They had 9 years to to have other kids, right? What went wrong?

Let her do artificial insemination in a good hospital. If you sleep with her, you may loose your wife, respect and your home. Those craps we called tradition is being frown on nowadays cos it always ends up messy. The kids grow up confused like their parents that birthed them.

Those days are gone. Be very careful. If you don't want a second wife and values stability in life, better steer clear.

litigator:


But we still collect tithe in accordance with old testament traditions ABI? Confusing times.

Exactly, which should not be

This is not a novel lifestyle. It has been and still remain a norm.

In my part of Igbo land, the woman would first make a friend of who he has chosen in her mind. They will become so close, as in bestie close.

Then she will proceed to an elder she trust to keep his mouth shut, it is more preferable if it is the 'isi obi' of the ụmụnna, and tell her of her decision.

The elder will in turn involve other elders, and you'll be invited. Most times the invitation is to inform you of an obligation that rests on you. You'll be made to understand that it is a duty to the kindred and to your late uncle.

Thereafter, the whole parties involved will have to enter into a pact called 'ido agbata' which is a kind of oath of secrecy.

And you go about fulfilling your obligations. Your wife might be involved, if the elders sees her as matured in traditional norms.

PS: This act doesn't make you a de facto husband. It doesn't make you a shareholder in your late uncles estates. You can never in the future claim ownership of the children you helped procreate. It is not even mentioned.

My advice: Since the woman has made the wrong move of informing you, you'll have to go meet the elders. And you owe your late uncle a duty to help retain his name in the family. It is an obligation. Help please.

If you find it hard having sex with her, due to your orientation and as a mark of Fidelity to your wife, you should try Artificial Insemination. You just have to do something man.

Brother, don't even think about it for once. Noooo.dont go there.

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

I dont think Onan was married at the point of his brother's death, the op is already married.

42 yr old woman still dey market oo, if she's beautiful and well taken care of, my brother, the devil came to steal, to kill and to destroy. Start an aggressive prayer against every power that want to use her against you, pray fervently without ceasing and God will answer you. Las, Las let ur NO be NO.