Please tell him the pin open another account and transfer the money there.

Dont let him squander your money in the name of marriage
In other thought

Your husband should have all this information you are hiding from him though.
I am thinking is lack of trust that is causing the whole thing
Doesnt he have a job or somthing. Why is he after your money by all means. Or he just wants you to be open with your finances.
With marriage you have to be open with everything in other for peace to rain. If somone is hiding somthing it makes the other person curious.
the way he is going. Dont fight fire with fire.
Please be calm and loving towards him . Make everything seem ok with you .

Maybe you are the type that dont like being open with your finances with anybody but try to accommodate the man and be free from hiding things.

But i will advice if he is the lazy one who married you for your money please be careful with you money. He will take from you and give to woman outside and he will refuse to work because he know with your money he is still comfortable.

But if he is not the lazy time . Let him to open with his and you table yours too so you can have a comfortable home.

michlins:
People go into marriage with all the wrong footing. Like how did you go into marriage making something as important as your salary a secret. You lost that right the day you decided to marry.
Both of you need to know what your earnings are and then make plans based on such.
How did you both make plans about the marriage in the first place. Like plan kids, your house and other essentials like cars and investments.

Having said that, your husband is all shades of wrong by seizing your � card. Like why should he seize your card?

The foundation of the marriage was built on zero trust so the effects are what we're looking at

Guy the thing surprise me o. And some people up there are advising the woman that her husband is not supposed to know about her earnings.

How are they going to plan for the future? They think marriage is still bf and gf level.

Marriage is like partnership in business. Awareness is very important.

While the husband may be wrong in seizing her card, we need to learn what pushed him. He'd been asking her and any reasonable woman should have responded favorably but the woman didn't. This probably pushed him.

I don't see him as controlling. I see a man that knows his wife doesn't trust him and he's probably desperate to get a peek into her life.

chiddyok:
And so we marry people we don’t trust with our finances because we must marry. And you need to see where married women are putting down unmarried ones, as if they were born married.
Madam, cancel your atm card and don’t bother with a new one. Bring one or two relatives around or let him know you are responsible for them. Inflate what you spend on them and save the rest in another account. And think very hard of the future of your marriage. I don’t know how you people share bed with someone you can’t share your purse with.
And nobody should quote me and ask me if I’m married and when I marry I’ll understand. I’m not, because I didn’t ask anyone to feed me so I can’t feed anyone’s son.

Chai

You'll las las destroy the marriage.

Nothing wrong if he allows you to know all about his own finances too. But if he doesn't then he has no right to demand what he is not giving.

Op,I will continue to advise people to keep family issues away from the public domain such as social media especially on a platform like nairaland which is filled with members with no good contributions to such issues, but instead offer advice that can further worsen the situation.
That being said, you are totally wrong to hide your salary from your husband. I am married, my wife knows my salary, and my wife being a business woman inform me of her finances without me asking. I am indeed blessed with a woman that understand what marriage is all about. Finally, she knows my pin the same way I know hers.

Op, if I must tell you the truth, you are not qualified to be a wife.

Premiumwriter:
Chai

You'll las las destroy the marriage.

If you don’t have a gold digger as an in-law please be quiet.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here ! My husband wants to know every thing about my finance . He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of .
I have always denied him of the fact , what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat , got some new things to change the outlook of the place....
But I am not really finding it funny any longer . As we speak ,he collected my ATM card since last two weeks , said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back , I went to my bank , told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...
I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried ! Pls is this how marriage is ?
He claim to own me and own my salary ! Is it fair ? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment !
What do I do ? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin .

What do I do ?

If you do not trust your husband enough to share this information with him, then why did you get married to him in the first place ? My advice is you don't trust him divorce him. Very simple

No love in this marriage at all.

chiddyok:

If you don’t have a gold digger as an in-law please be quiet.

don't compare someone's marriage with another person's. Did she say her husband was a gold digger?

Premiumwriter:
don't compare someone's marriage with another person's. Did she say her husband was a gold digger?

We are talking about, saying I want to destroy someone’s marriage. A man with that extent of curiosity isn’t a clean person. And if you don’t have sisters you’ll have a daughter, so have a lovely day.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here ! My husband wants to know every thing about my finance . He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of .
I have always denied him of the fact , what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat , got some new things to change the outlook of the place....
But I am not really finding it funny any longer . As we speak ,he collected my ATM card since last two weeks , said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back , I went to my bank , told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...
I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried ! Pls is this how marriage is ?
He claim to own me and own my salary ! Is it fair ? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment !
What do I do ? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do?

You are legally married to him, right? And were joined together on the altar as one? I really see no problem disclosing this to him, as you are one unless he is a cheat or has another wife. I don't mind sending my husband all my salary and make him give me money when I need it... I am well pleased with it, in as much as he is mine.
There should be no secrets in a marriage, I'd detest such kind of life.

FromZeroToHero:
It's good to discuss issues of finance (very important) during courtship to avoid situations like this.
I think both of you still have trust issues (then why did you get married) I guess he's just insecure, it's something you both can sit down and talk about, if he insists give him the pin n watch what he does with it before you conclude on ur next line of action.
Don't allow money matter to end ur marriage!!

which kind advice be this? Turn the tables around, would you have said the same thing? Is she working for him? I dont understand

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

thank you. I see guys here ignoring all these red flags but hanging on to the fact that she refuse to tell him her pin. What manner of fvckery is this?

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here ! My husband wants to know every thing about my finance . He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of .
I have always denied him of the fact , what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat , got some new things to change the outlook of the place....
But I am not really finding it funny any longer . As we speak ,he collected my ATM card since last two weeks , said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back , I went to my bank , told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...
I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried ! Pls is this how marriage is ?
He claim to own me and own my salary ! Is it fair ? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment !
What do I do ? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin .

What do I do ?

What kinda man is this? Instead of him to have cajole you into giving the ATM willingly without stress but he is a controlling freak...and those kinda people are dangerous...don't listen to all the shit his saying... though he is your husband but he need to go through proper channel not authoritatively.

My two cents.

Kekereekun123:
Men are no longer fools. Times are hard you cannot hide salary and finance details from your husband. Thunder fire ladies who say my money is my money and his money is ours

better go and work and stop looking for a woman to feed you. See how they dey disgrace their selves up and down

Ryan03:
better go and work and stop looking for a woman to feed you. See how they dey disgrace their selves up and down

I was just reading the trash that most of them are posting....

dingbang:
I just wonder how two people will live as husband and wife and yet...act like people that aren't married.

my finance is private, no woman should force me to reveal that to her as long as I am providing for the family, same goes for my wife. I learnt from my sisters that, the minute a person knows your true finance, they start having expectations. Its a no no for me

Premiumwriter:


Guy the thing surprise me o. And some people up there are advising the woman that her husband is not supposed to know about her earnings.

How are they going to plan for the future? They think marriage is still bf and gf level.

Marriage is like partnership in business. Awareness is very important.

While the husband may be wrong in seizing her card, we need to learn what pushed him. He'd been asking her and any reasonable woman should have responded favorably but the woman didn't. This probably pushed him.

I don't see him as controlling. I see a man that knows his wife doesn't trust him and he's probably desperate to get a peek into her life.

Yeah you are right but the way the husband is going about it is absolutely wrong....who does that?

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here ! My husband wants to know every thing about my finance . He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of .
I have always denied him of the fact , what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat , got some new things to change the outlook of the place....
But I am not really finding it funny any longer . As we speak ,he collected my ATM card since last two weeks , said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back , I went to my bank , told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...
I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried ! Pls is this how marriage is ?
He claim to own me and own my salary ! Is it fair ? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment !
What do I do ? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin .

What do I do ?

Open a new bank account and transfer 60% of your cash and keep it secret there... Let him have access to 40%....

Perhaps my girlfriend has access my account details.. Why are you hiding yours from your husband?

Hide it from him

Mtchew

Do not reveal it to him
Baba must be a gold digger

In marriage, there is nothing like seperation of finances. You plan together and you set targets and save together, unless you are in an unequal or exploitative partnership.

Something is definitely wrong wit you both,..... this is not the real problem, and I pity those that will advise you based on this post.
Goodluck

I dislike it when people exhibit entitlement mentality. Don't be surprised he'll ask you to stop working and become a full housewife when he finds out how much you earn.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Na wá FOR Una two o.

So much mistrusts...


Besides, can't you transfer all your money to maybe your mom's account for safe keeping?

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Seems both of you didn't go for counseling before saying "I do"

No secrecy in marriage. Tell him how much you earn, tell him your plan about the money not us(nairalanders)

A submissive wife will submit her salary to her husband while a wise husband will bless it and return it to her

Any woman hiding her finances from her husband is an infidel. I have seen where a man had to borrow to pay rent meanwhile his wife had 1.5m savings

Rubbish....

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

You do not need to succumb to his threat,go to your bank or another bank,Open a separate account that has no card attached, Download and activate internet banking on both accounts, transfer your savings from the known account to the new one leaving small balance and keep watching him.

Ryan03:
better go and work and stop looking for a woman to feed you. See how they dey disgrace their selves up and down

Nigeria is hard. Husband and wife should contribute funds. The days of man only are gone

Uzorchinonso.... hear me and hear me well.


Dont tell him. Nor gree o. I'm a man and I know what my friends re doing to thier wives just because they know.

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

shut da Bleep up if you don't have anything reasonable to say