UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

chiddyok:
And so we marry people we don’t trust with our finances because we must marry. And you need to see where married women are putting down unmarried ones, as if they were born married.
Madam, cancel your atm card and don’t bother with a new one. Bring one or two relatives around or let him know you are responsible for them. Inflate what you spend on them and save the rest in another account. And think very hard of the future of your marriage. I don’t know how you people share bed with someone you can’t share your purse with.
And nobody should quote me and ask me if I’m married and when I marry I’ll understand. I’m not, because I didn’t ask anyone to feed me so I can’t feed anyone’s son.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Inspectorsuga22:

My dear u have said it all, my wife have first-hand access to my earnings n properties n vice versa. How then do they plan to make their lives better wen they don't even know each others financial capabilities? So people think marriage is all Abt having children or answering wife/husband.
Wen u look at this lady's write-up, u will see a very wrong marital foundation that should be urgently corrected if ever they wish to succeed in that marriage that is barely one year... Hmm

Kingininge:


God bless you and yours

StubbornGENIUS:
Why are many guys chasing clout these day?wetin una gain?

FromZeroToHero:
It's good to discuss issues of finance (very important) during courtship to avoid situations like this.
I think both of you still have trust issues (then why did you get married) I guess he's just insecure, it's something you both can sit down and talk about, if he insists give him the pin n watch what he does with it before you conclude on ur next line of action.
Don't allow money matter to end ur marriage!!

dingbang:
I just wonder how two people will live as husband and wife and yet...act like people that aren't married.

dalass:
Your husband obviously married you for your buoyant financial status...

Gone are the days when men married women for love. Now no man wants liability but someone they can control with her finances (fat bank account)....

You demonstrated the extent of your worth by that refurbishment... Now, you can't hide it... Don't give him any pin no oh... And don't make him your next of kin... You married a gold digger...

Gently but firmly talk to him so that he can have a foggy idea on what you earn. Not exact amount.. ...But if he doesn't hide anything from you, maybe you're the one with trust issues.... Maybe once bitten twice shy

Don't escalate the matter, use wisdom oh

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

Talkingoil:


It's not by force alright, but she is his wife, she probably knows how much he earns, so why should she have difficulty in revealing her salary to her husband, it shows secrecy and lack of submission and I tell you, if she is not wise in handling this, it could cause problems in her home

solok:
please know and be reminded that next of kin is not same as beneficiary in case of death intestate......the former is close relation to be contacted in case of emergency while the latter is the beneficiary of estate (or specifically assigned portion of it) in event of death.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

tbaby4u:





BEST advise so far. OP's husband is a gold digger. He married her because she is a career lady earning big and not for love. Op, pls I beg u,NEVER RELEASE YOUR PIN TO HIM OR U REGRET IT. Any man who puts his eyes on his wife 's money is a gold digger. A woman is to earn her money to support her family willingly and Op has done that by refurbishing his flat for him. How else can a woman help her husband? And she is also paying some other bills too. So, d man should go n hustle for his own money. YOUR WIFE'S MONEY IS NOT YOURS MR GOLDDIGGER. SHE CAN ONLY USE PARR OF HER SALARY TO HELP PAY SOME BILLS IN D HOME, BUY THINGS FOR YOUR CHILDREN, BUY HER OWN PERSONAL THINGS N ALSO SEND SOME MONEY TO HER PARENTS WHO SPONSORED HER ALL TRU D UNIVERSITY. HER PARENTS THAT INVESTED SO MUCH ON HER, ONLY FOR U MR GOLD DIGGER TO COME FROM NOWHERE, PAY PEANUT AS BRIDE PRICE ONLY N SUDDENLY THINK U OWE HER. Yes, u may owe her by marriage but pls, remove your eyes from her money. Go and hustle as a man. What makes a real man is d responsibilities he shoulders not some ENTITILED MENTALITY KIND OF MEN WHO ARE LAZY. WHO ONLY THINKS D DICK DEY CARRY UNDER IS WHAT MAKES THEM A MAN, WHO ALSO THINKS THAT D ONLY WAY THEY WILL MAKE IT IN LIFE IS TO TARGET RICH CAREER LADIES TO MARRY WHICH HE DID BUT NOW DISAPPOINTED THAT THE REASON HE MARRIED U IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE. LAZY ENTITILED GUYS EVERYWHERE. LADIES, BEWARE OF USELESS ENTITILED MEN, ALL THEY WANT IS A WOMAN THAT WILL SHOULDER THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES, BLEEP FOR FREE AND STILL CHASE AFTER OTHER GIRLS WITH THEIR MUGU'S MONEY.

OP, pls do not keep quiet on this issue, it is very obvious now that he married u because of your career n money n he is disappointed because u are smart too. Pls. Involve your family members because even your parents that sacrificed all their money to train u tru school that made u who u are today are not after your money. A man comes from nowhere n suddenly feels like a king, he feels entitled. For him to even seize your Atm card n pin shows he is a complete gold digger n I'm sure he is not working or does not have a good job. Na their way be dat. Ladies, beware of Gold diggers n entitled guys. They r everywhere, infact they are so much here on nairaland, jobless lazy youths looking for ladies to scam all in d name of relationship. Ladies, watch how they will attack my post now. I know they will attack me n I don't give a damn! Lazy youths!

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

trutht828:


The fact that a man.pays dowry on your head means that he owns you. Stop being blinded.

tbaby4u:





BEST advise so far. OP's husband is a gold digger. He married her because she is a career lady earning big and not for love. Op, pls I beg u,NEVER RELEASE YOUR PIN TO HIM OR U REGRET IT. Any man who puts his eyes on his wife 's money is a gold digger. A woman is to earn her money to support her family willingly and Op has done that by refurbishing his flat for him. How else can a woman help her husband? And she is also paying some other bills too. So, d man should go n hustle for his own money. YOUR WIFE'S MONEY IS NOT YOURS MR GOLDDIGGER. SHE CAN ONLY USE PARR OF HER SALARY TO HELP PAY SOME BILLS IN D HOME, BUY THINGS FOR YOUR CHILDREN, BUY HER OWN PERSONAL THINGS N ALSO SEND SOME MONEY TO HER PARENTS WHO SPONSORED HER ALL TRU D UNIVERSITY. HER PARENTS THAT INVESTED SO MUCH ON HER, ONLY FOR U MR GOLD DIGGER TO COME FROM NOWHERE, PAY PEANUT AS BRIDE PRICE ONLY N SUDDENLY THINK U OWE HER. Yes, u may owe her by marriage but pls, remove your eyes from her money. Go and hustle as a man. What makes a real man is d responsibilities he shoulders not some ENTITILED MENTALITY KIND OF MEN WHO ARE LAZY. WHO ONLY THINKS D DICK DEY CARRY UNDER IS WHAT MAKES THEM A MAN, WHO ALSO THINKS THAT D ONLY WAY THEY WILL MAKE IT IN LIFE IS TO TARGET RICH CAREER LADIES TO MARRY WHICH HE DID BUT NOW DISAPPOINTED THAT THE REASON HE MARRIED U IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE. LAZY ENTITILED GUYS EVERYWHERE. LADIES, BEWARE OF USELESS ENTITILED MEN, ALL THEY WANT IS A WOMAN THAT WILL SHOULDER THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES, BLEEP FOR FREE AND STILL CHASE AFTER OTHER GIRLS WITH THEIR MUGU'S MONEY.

OP, pls do not keep quiet on this issue, it is very obvious now that he married u because of your career n money n he is disappointed because u are smart too. Pls. Involve your family members because even your parents that sacrificed all their money to train u tru school that made u who u are today are not after your money. A man comes from nowhere n suddenly feels like a king, he feels entitled. For him to even seize your Atm card n pin shows he is a complete gold digger n I'm sure he is not working or does not have a good job. Na their way be dat. Ladies, beware of Gold diggers n entitled guys. They r everywhere, infact they are so much here on nairaland, jobless lazy youths looking for ladies to scam all in d name of relationship. Ladies, watch how they will attack my post now. I know they will attack me n I don't give a damn! Lazy youths!