OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



-Episode 52




All the hero wey Ugochukwu wan show don go waste, em wan still give Shantel the body-builder or rather monster.

Body builder: *barking louder* wey the girl?

Ugochukwu: se...e a..m se...e a..m.

I saw his finger moved to my body, the Body builder looked at me with fires in his eyes. My brain come dey fail, I no know my gender again. I first carry my hand go my groin if something is missing, I felt soft palm grabbing me from behind.

God of Abraham why Shantel dey hold me, no wonder the guy dey look me one kind bad red eye say na me dey prevent em meal.

I didn't know how I did it, I disappeared and appeared in my room breathing and panting like someone who has ran away from death. After some minutes Shantel joined me in the room with the same speed I got inside the room.

Shantel: sir, wetin be that? *pointing at the door*

Me: *I first peep for the door* what?

Shantel: that guy.

Me: oh! na human being you dey call wetin be that?

Shantel: is that one still human being.

Me: ehem na... your boyfriend go find them trouble when them dey do umhumm... umhumm..

Shantel: *blushing* he isn't my boyfriend na, hope he will not kill him?

Me: I don miss burial rice.

I laid on the bed tryna catch my breathe when Ugochukwu bursted in ranting angrily, wetin pain me be say my expensive gucci shirt don tear as the gorilla grab am. They will be looking for chimpanzee and gorilla to put in zoo while lots of them are walking around the whole City in form of human being.

Me: why my shirt tear na? I nodey like this kind thing oh!

Ugochukwu: you no ask me of my face na shirt you dey ask me of? the shirt better pass my life *ranting*

Me: thank God you know.

Shantel: uncle Ugo...!! *I cut in*

Me: which kind love name be that? his name is Ugochukwu.

Ugochukwu: I dey vex oh!! just warn yourself before I do you wetin I forget to do the guy.

Me: my carry am come so that you go do am?

Shantel: why do you go and disturb those couples na?

Ugochukwu: *scratching his head* I think say na our room.

Me: liar!

Ugochukwu: lawyer!!

Me: he was jealous.

My phone started ringing and the caller was my Manager, I picked it quickly and he confirmed that he is in the address with the cash.

Me: guy, my manager don come.. Come make we dey go.

Ugochukwu: I nodey follow you before you go go put me for another wahala.

Me: Shantel please beg your boyfriend na. *that one sweet Ugo ehnn*

Shantel: uncle Ugo, please escort your friend.

Ugochukwu: na because of you oh, I agree to follow this wicked friend.

As if he has a choice, am his friend for this life and afterlife. We went out together making sure we avoid the hallway that connects the gorilla, we got inside the car and we drove to were my manager is. It wasn't really far, we met the man in the car and I took the money from him after tipping him.

I got inside the car with the bag of money in hard currency, so that the bills won't be too many. I asked him to change it to hard currency.

Ugochukwu: guy, wetin you wan use all these money do?

Me: when tomorrow reach you go know.

He drove the guest house and parked then we went in, we got inside the room and met Shantel watching television.

Me: hungry never start to catch you?

Ugochukwu: me I wan eat oh!

Shantel: I will eat later, this drama is so interesting.

Ugochukwu: my first bath.

Ugochukwu unclad himself and got inside the bathroom, while I went to hid the money properly. I also pulled my clothe and remained only on boxer, I decided to use the toilet since the bathroom were both separated from each other.
I was inside the toilet re-writing nature WAEC when I heard...

Shantel voice: *screaming* Jesus! Jesus!!

Wetin happen again na?

TBC...

Ugochukwu indeed something must kill a man no mind Honourable joor....

Op well-done Sir

Shantel don see big dick I guess...tenk you for the update

Vitalvector2017:
Ugochukwu indeed something must kill a man no mind Honourable joor....

Op well-done Sir

welcome on board, thank you

arfezces:
Shantel don see big dick I guess...tenk you for the update

you get third eye oh

OGA LANDLORD 21+


Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 53



I quickly switched off the running tap after heard Shantel screamed Jesus, I sat quietly listening to what is going to happen.
I first lock my yansh to release more sounds inside the WC, shey you get?

I was expecting Ugochukwu to burst out and deal with the intruder, for where? Ugochukwu went quiet too like me. Probably he is thinking that it is the body-builder.
All of a sudden Shantel started knocking on the toilet door.

Shantel: *knocking* sir, someone is looking for you.

Me: *silent*

Shantel: one scary someone is looking for you.

Me: *silent*

Ugochukwu: guy come out of that toilet oh...

Me: wetin you dey do inside the bathroom?

Ugochukwu: I dey baf.

Me: I dey shit.

Shantel: the person is opposite of handsome, am scared.. Sir, please come out.

Me: me too.. Wetin be em name?

Everywhere went quiet and the bathroom door burst open and Ugochukwu started shouting on top of his voice, while I heard Shantel footsteps coming back to the toilet door.

Shantel: he said is Ishi.

Me: *I open the door small* you sure?

Shantel: yes, em head big.

I came out of the room and saw Ugochukwu holding Ishi by the neck shouting and using the other one to hold the towel tied around his waist.

Ugochukwu: talk na, who send you?

Me: guy, if na criminal you godey hold am like this?

Ishi: honourable talk and do!

He started hailing me and Ugochukwu left him alone, I asked him to sit on the sofa.
Shantel was just looking at him like he is a demon or something similar to devil brother.

Me: Ugo, dress up make we go bring those things we buy from market.

Ugochukwu: my wear something.

He removed the towel unknowingly thinking he wore boxer or something.

Shantel: what are you doing? *covering her face*

Ugochukwu: I wan wear trouser.

He didn't realize he is naked, he started walking around the room to get his trouser with his black yansh.

Ishi: oga, you dey naked.

He looked down and saw his dangler flesh and real, he quickly ran to get the towel and tied his waist, got hold of his boxer and ran inside the bathroom screaming.

Me: this your boyfriend can mumu ehnn..

Shantel: *remove her palms* he isn't my boyfriend.

Ugochukwu later came out with boxer on his waist, he stared dagger at me. No be me send am to pull towel oh.

Ugochukwu: guy you no try oh, why you no tell me say I dey naked?,

Me: I think say you just dey celebrate the life of Adam.

Ugochukwu: your papa...

Me: very handsome old man.

He dressed up with another of my clothe and short, the thing pain me. Wetin I go talk sha... Opportunity come but once, we decided to leave Shantel and Ishi in the room to get the things we bought in the market.

Shantel: where ona dey go?

Me: downstairs.

Shantel: I dey follow ona come.

Me: your babe dey fear my handsome guy..

Ugochukwu: hope say em nodey sleep with us.

Me: who tell you?

Shantel: sir, can we go?

Ugochukwu: I don talk my own.

Me: I don tell you my own.

I closed the door leaving Ishi watching the television, my eight million naira cross my mind. I shrugged it off, that guy nofit see the money for where I hide am.

Shantel followed us to Ugochukwu's car and he opened the booth, she started screaming Jesus again.

Me: abeg, wetin be your own?

Ugochukwu: I just tire for this my girlfriend.

Shantel: sir, what are you doing with charms?

Me: Mandela why?

Ugochukwu: make we carry this things na, hungry dey catch me.

Me: is your head correct?

Ugochukwu: *holding the pot in his hands* how?

Me: you want make them arrest you as ritualist?

Ugochukwu: na truth oh, thank God say you try get sense for today. Wetin we go do na to carry all these things inside?

TBC..

Mr elvictor abeg continue this story abeg

Hail Elvictor! honourable talk and do have really prepare to win the election, even if its means buying his way in...

Give us this thing non stop

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 54



Me: if you ask me, na who I go ask?

Ugochukwu: make I ask your grandpapa, grandmama then your forefathers, huh?

Me: clean your mouth.

Shantel: sir, they are looking at us.

Ugochukwu: *rubbing his lips* wetin dey my mouth?

Me: rubbish.

Ugochukwu: *hiss* make Shantel go buy bag wey go bag all these things enter inside.

Me: the day your mama born you, God dey in hurry to give sense.

Shantel: umhh... make we go inside, am tired standing.

Me: who carry you come outside? nobody ask you to follow, so chill.

Shantel: am scared of that masquerade inside the house.

Me: na human being be that not spirit, that head of state is natural, so behave.

Ugochukwu: which natural? that guy look like our clan most dreaded masquerade.

Me: is that so?

Ugochukwu: very so.

Me: hummm... Make we leave this things here, tomorrow when we dey go that place. em go kukuma wear am.

Ugochukwu: oh God! You carry us come outside to just waste time.

He closed the booth and we went inside the guest house avoiding the body-builder room hallway, as we were walking through the hallway to get to our room.

Ugochukwu: that guy nodey sleep the same room with us, bah?

Me: where you want make em sleep?

Shantel: sir, I dey fear am.

Ugochukwu: anywhere apart from the same room with me, ona two fit lock ona sef for bathroom.

Me: no waste your time and strength, em go stay for the same room with us. Na VIP be that.

Ugochukwu: I don tell you my own.

He quickly got at the front and went towards our room's door, he quickly opened it and he was face to face with Ishi.

Ugochukwu: Jesus!! *stumble to the floor backward*

Me: *my heart skip* Ishi, this one you stand for door?

Shantel: si...r I wan go house *hiding behind me*

Me: you be VIP too.

Ishi: ona waste time, I come dey wonder why.

I had a rethink about allowing him to sleep in same room with me, I no want make somebody with that face come kiss me for mid-night.
That one will make me not dream any better dream for six years.

Me: Shantel call the others, lets go down to eat.

Ugochukwu: ehnn..nothing person no go see.

Me: you sabi fear oh.

Ugochukwu eyed me while Shantel and the two other guys that are sent by the governor to safeguard us joined us, five of us went to the restaurant section in the guest house.
Those guys were wondering what kind of human being Ishi is.

Shantel joined the other guys on their table, while Ugochukwu and I with Ishi occupied a separate table from them.

I told him what he will do for me tomorrow, he agreed.

Me: so how much you wan collect?

Ishi: just ten thousand naira, to act like chief priest no easy.

Me: you dey owe me two weeks rent.

Ishi: hiaa! Oga landlord!!

Me: your rent finish first of this Month.

Ishi: you nodey forget something honourable talk and do.

Me: minus am from the future and past rent wey I no remember, wey you dey owe me.

Ishi: bad market, I wan eat oh.

Me: you fit eat.

After we finished eating, Ugochukwu called me aside for talk. We stood by the corner of the bar far from earshot.

Ugochukwu: you sure say this your plan go allow you win?

TBC...

mahvellux:
Mr elvictor abeg continue this story abeg

I no leave am run, lol

Lakesc:
Hail Elvictor! honourable talk and do have really prepare to win the election, even if its means buying his way in...

na the modus operandi for Naija na, lol

babalola16:
Give us this thing non stop

this your comment shock me oh!

OGA LANDLORD 18+
Subtitle: F*ck Fakers.
Episode 55.
Me: I no know, as I dey like this. I no know whether na God give me the inspiration or na Satan.
Ugochukwu: God no go fit ask you to go meet juju na, surely na satan.
Me: anyone sha... Make em just work. I don tire, make we go sleep.
We went back to Ishi who was busy feeling relaxed on the table, Shantel had followed the bodyguards up to the room.
Three of us went back to the room, we got to the door and I opened it. Shantel was inside watching Nigeria movie.
Me: ehnn.. Ishi, come my show you where you go sleep.
Ishi: no problem, honourable talk and do.
He followed me to the room were the bodyguards were, I opened the door and entered, immediately Ishi followed me the bodyguards were surprised or terrified, I no know sha...
Me: head of the gods na here you go stay.
Ishi: here dey okay oh!
The two bodyguards were just staring at me.
Bodyguard1: where em go stay?
Me: na security too na.
Bodyguard2: who em go secure?
I closed the door and walked away, make them settle themselves. I was just walking along the hallway when I met the girl that I saw earlier with towel, that body-builder girlfriend.
She opened the door wearing a short-gown, she smiled at me and I looked away.
Girl: hi handsome *licking her lower lip*
Me: bye beautiful *she chuckle*
I just dey waka my own, I look back and I saw the girl still following me. I turned back and saw her, which kind wahala be this na?
Me: wetin happen na?
Girl: I wan come your room.
Me: to do wetin?
Girl: I like you, my boyfriend prick too small, I no enjoy am.
Which kind 21st century Eve be this na? I remembered her Joseph escaped this kind of temptation in the bible.
I quickly ran to my room and bursted the door open, I slammed it shut and locked the door.
I met Shantel sitting on Ugochukwu laps, this guy don finger this babe brain.
Ugochukwu quickly make Shantel get up from his laps, he brought out his gun ready to kill.
I come dey wonder wetin em wan kill, the body-builder or the girl.
Ugochukwu: how many them dey?
Me: who?
Ugochukwu: why you come dey run?
Me: abeg I wan sleep.
I quickly removed the trouser I was wearing and removed my shirt with singlet, jumped on the bed and made sure I slept at the middle of the bed.
Some minutes later someone started tapping my laps.
I opened my eyes and saw Ugochukwu face.
Me: wetin happen?
Ugochukwu: abeg, adjust small.. shift go one side of the bed so that me and Shantel go sleep close.
Me: no wake me again oh.
I laid back my head and continued sleeping, he started tapping me again but I pretended that I didn't notice what he was doing.
Shantel: why are you waking him na?
Me: *I raise my head* ask am oh! ask am oh!! my sister, I cannot sleep in peace.
Ugochukwu: abeg na..
Me: beg for what na?
He didn't say anything he started scratching his head, Shantel laid on the bed and slept off. Ugochukwu stood for sometimes and lay on the bed, I know he has a plan.
I ready for am, I was still sleeping when I felt a hand around me, I come dey enjoy thinking say na Shantel dey touch me.
So I used one hand and touch the person, I was expecting to land on soft land, but what I landed on was rock.
I opened my eyes in the dark and saw Ugochukwu hovering over, trying to drag me to the end of the bed.
Me: wetin you dey do?
Ugochukwu: you dey sleep?
Me: yes, leave me hand.
Ugochukwu: abeg na, I go pay you. Just allow me this night.
Me: so that you go give am belle?
Ugochukwu: naso belle easy? population for don full this world.
Me: I say no no, plenty no. Allow me make I sleep before I go scream.
He laid back in frustration, while I went back to sleep. I woke up in the morning on the floor, I quickly got up feeling cold and find Ugochukwu and Shantel cuddling tightly on the bed.
Me: I go kill person oh.
I wanted to attack him when my phone started ringing, I went for my phone on the table.
The caller was Madam Stella, I picked the call.
Madam Stella: sweet boy.
Me: yes.
Madam Stella: the armies will arrive in the venue by 10am.
Me: thanks, honey.
Madam Stella: shhiiii.. Come me Shantel baby.
Me: *you don old na* Shantel baby.
The call ended, I nofit hold the laughter, immediately I dropped the phone I looked at Ugochukwu.
Wetin I go do this boy na?
I walked to the bathroom and fetched cup of water, I brought out my dick and peed inside the cup too. When I was through, I entered inside the room and tiptoed to were him and Shantel were cuddling.
I poured the water mixed with my pee around his groin making sure it touched the bed, I went to drop the cup and lay back on the bed.
TBC...

Honourable is a big clown.so Ugochukwu Don piss for bed.chaii.
Thanks for the update.

lol, Ugo don piss for bed, i hope it does not spoil his juju sha.
First time commenting here by the way, though an avid reader, weldone boss.

Honourable get plenty talent for doing bad thing ooo.. Thanks alot for d update. But that Ishi guy....mhmm

You wicked

OGA LANDLORD 21+




Subtitle: F*uck Fakers.




Episode 56



I lay back on the bed and kept watch, I was about sleeping when I see movement around were Ugochukwu and Shantel slept.
Someone got up from the bed and I stretched my hand and switched on the bed lamp.

Ugochukwu was startled when he saw my eyes wide open staring at him, he tried to conceal the wet patch around his boxer.

Me: you wan rob me? this one you dey waka like thief for the room?

Ugochukwu: carry your voice go down small, no... This boxer ant dey am inside.

Me: humming ant? how manage? *I increase the volume of my voice*

The time was almost six by the wall clock hung on the wall.

Ugochukwu: I no know how manage, I wan pull am.

Me: guy, wetin you dey cover? *my voice loud*

Ugochukwu: na my morning boner.

Shantel stirred and stretched on the bed, she got up with an urgency that showed that something must be wrong.

Shantel: Jesus, water!!

Me: water for bed, how manage?

Ugochukwu: em go fit be that bottle water I drop for on top the bed board last night, chaii! I no cover am.

Me: cover wetin? how manage your head and chest no wet? or the bottle water dey in betwixt your leg?

Shantel: gosh! my gown don wet too, wetin be all these?

I crawled to the side of the bed they both slept and bent down over the wet patch, and inhaled. I quickly raised my head and covered my nose quickly.

Me: who piss this piss? Gosh!! em dey smell like rotten egg.

Ugochukwu: how piss go smell like rotten egg?

Shantel: who urinate on the bed na?

Me: my sister ask this guy wey I catch as em wan change boxer.

Shantel: is it true?

Me: go dry the bed outside oh, as you old like that you still dey piss for house. Forty years still dey piss for house.

Ugochukwu: who dey forty years?

Me: as you nodey forty years, na wetin make you piss for house. I shame for you oh!

I wore my short and t-shirt, carried my phone and got out of the room leaving the couple behind.
I nofit hold the laughter oh, chiaa! break up alert, who wan date guy wey godey piss for your body every night.

I made mistake and walked pass the hallway that two biblical wahala were staying, the Delilah with towel and Goliath with twenty five years gym experience.
Immediately I got close to the door the towel girl opened the door just before I could walk pass their door post.

Girl: hi handsome *she still dey wear towel, I wonder why*

Me: *she grab my wrist before I wan make move* hope say you no be police officer

Girl: not at all, I like you. Come inside na?

Me: to commit suicide or homicide?

Girl: *chuckling* em nodey *she give me a special view, her soft round brea-sts and white pant* come have it inside.

Me: *my brain reset* inside?

Should I go in and die on top woman and be buried by a body builder, or I should wait to be killed by Mr. Okoye.
I was thinking about the pros and cons when she dragged me inside the room, she locked the door and removed her towel.

Girl: make we do quick quick, before my husband return.

Me: husband?

Girl: yes, we are on honeymoon, he has carrot in between his legs.

Me: how manage? how em take get carrot in between his legs?

Girl: I mean his di-ck oh!

She got down on her kneels and pulled down my short, she expertly dipped her hand inside my boxer and brought my di-ck.

She stroked it twice and covered it with her mouth, she bopped on my now fully ere-ct di-ck twice.

Me: *groa-ning* aahh! ahhh!! Aaahh!!

Girl: are you sure, you fit use am well?

The babe wan insult me as I dey calm down or wetin?
I dragged her up with her arm and carried her.
I pulled my leg out of the short and used the other leg to step on it, I kicked it off my legs and carried the girl to the bed and slammed her.

She bounced twice on the soft mattress and chuckled.

Girl: bad handsome boy.

I bent down and held her pa-n, then tore it off. a soft mo-an escaped her lips as I dipped two fingers inside her pu-ssy, my fingers struggled to penetrate. Choi! The guy just big without anything in between em legs.

Girl: ooh! Gawd! F-inger me! aaahh!!

Loud bang on the door "gbuoo! gbuoo!! gbuoo!!!"

Voice: *roaring like lion* honey, am home!!

Safe me oh Lord.

TBC..

crossfm:
Honourable is a big clown.so Ugochukwu Don piss for bed.chaii.
Thanks for the update.

you are welcome, welcome to beer party.. lol

Lakesc:
Honourable get plenty talent for doing bad thing ooo.. Thanks alot for d update. But that Ishi guy....mhmm

this your comment make me chuckle, tell me say you no get... lol

fabianiweka:
You wicked

you sound like person wey them don do you this kind bad thing

Elvictor:


this your comment make me chuckle, tell me say you no get... lol

I get but very small, not as advance as Honourable Talk and Do

Finally, honourable talk and do don enter trouble

Honourable talk and do, na boarding school you go? Cos what you did to your friend made me remember those days in boarding school. Na water we dey use do our own, you go wake up the next day thinking u don wewe for bed.

Likewise, you can go to bed with your boxer, then wake up the next day naked like Adam in the garden.
May God forgive you for spoiling market for Ugo

arfezces:
Finally, honourable talk and do don enter trouble

lol.. I love the way you jump enter.. as em don enter pot of soup

Dbeautyy:
Honourable talk and do, na boarding school you go? Cos what you did to your friend made me remember those days in boarding school. Na water we dey use do our own, you go wake up the next day thinking u don wewe for bed.

Likewise, you can go to bed with your boxer, then wake up the next day naked like Adam in the garden.
May God forgive you for spoiling market for Ugo

we also have such myth too, while I was in MISSION HIGH SCHOOL OBITE.. there are no elements of truth in, but they will make a make believe story... and attach to the supernatural, that something stole your boxer.

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 57



My heartbeat paused and then resumed with heavy breathes, my hands started shaking. I stared at the girl sprawled naked on the bed with her legs wide spread.

I pulled out my fingers from her we-t pu-ssy and faced the door, sweating profusely. She grabbed my di-ck and aligned it to her opening, is this one head paining her?

Me: wetin you dey do?

Girl: my husband don return, do fast fast!!

Voice: *roaring like injured lion* open this door!! wetin you dey do inside?!.

Me: I didn't tell you, am still a virgin. *low voice*

Girl: you lie, with this big thing?

Me: shey na you disvirgin me? I dey keep am for my wife.

I took her hands off my now fallen di-ck, I was drenched with mind wrecking sweats.
I quickly got hold of my boxer and slipped it on, then wore my short. Quickly put on my shirt, thunder storming slam landed on the door that vibrated resounding heavy noise round the room, I jumped in freight.

Voice: *two lions combined* you carry man enter inside?

Girl: honey, am coming.

I rushed to the bathroom to hide and find out that I will be fished out and deflated like a ball, I looked at the window and saw that it was caged with protector bars.
She opened the toilet door..

Girl: fine, somewhere hide.. I dey go open the door.

Me: where I go hide?

Girl: *she hiss* hide inside my pant na.

I quickly came out of the toilet and my phone started ringing, I cursed under my breathe.

Voice: *roaring and barking altogether* that man wey dey chop my wife, ooohhh! na my bare hands I go take separate your bones.

Girl: haa! Gabriel, nobody dey inside here na.

My legs started shaking and my teeth were moving in their own wills, my sac were filled with urine.
I looked at the window and saw that it wasn't protected by any protector bars.
I didn't know why the owner choose to, I went at the window with speed and scampered through the window. The window caught my shirt and it torn, I heard the door creaked open and I raced without looking back till I disappeared to a safe corner.

I tried catching my breathe but it wasn't working, I was still sweating. My urine were heating like fuel, I strode to the compound toilet unit for those who came to just use the bar or restaurant and leave, I opened the bathroom door and poured two bottles of urine from my sac into the WC.

I went straight to the bar and ordered a chilled and cold bottle water, the waitress suppose know say water wey don block. She just brought cold bottle water, forgetting the chill I associated with the water. She waka go like three times before I come drain the bottle with a gulp, my body temperature come calm down.

I wrote the meeting message and sent to the forty excos with a group message, since the only number I saved in the sim are all the excos numbers alone.
I sent a message to madam Fatty and Mama Genesis to make arrangement for buffet by 3:30pm before the meeting will start by 4pm that day.

I sat back on the chair and relaxed, I ordered for a bottle of malt, I can not come and kill myself again.
I opened the cover and poured some content inside the glass, I adjusted my eyes and saw two looking rugged guys discussing at a corner of table seriously.
They looked like people that can kill or whisk human being as goat.

I swallowed and suspected something is off when one of them looked towards me, I drank the content of the malt in the glass and kept the glass. A thought entered my mind as they were looking around sharply.

I made a face and spitted the drink I have kept in my mouth for sometime, pushed the table away with the glass and bottle come tumbling on the marbled floor as they made a clashing sounds breaking into pieces.

I crunched my stomach making a face and coughing hysterically, some of the people who came to drink too off. I bit my tongue and pool of blood formed in my mouth, I started coughing out blood and laid on the floor, shutting my eyes. I ceased breathing, I heard foot-falls around me and someone started shaking my legs.

Voice1: are you okay, sir? *I no even try to move*

Voice2: call manager oh! person don die here.

After awhile the manager baritone voice ordered one of the worker to go get the people I came with, after some minutes I opened my eyes and saw the place is empty. I closed it back again, I no wan make mistake.

Ugochukwu: *kick me with his leg* common stand up my fiend!

Me: aahh! *I groan in pain* na so ona dey treat corpse from for ona village?

Waitress: sir, I think say you don die?

Me: and so? you no know wetin be ghost?

Bodyguard1: sir, why you pull this kind stunt?

Me: I saw some assassins, them wan kill me na the only way.

Immediately they pulled their guns looking around, the manager just dey give me angry look.

Manager: oga, you go pain for damage oh!

Me: you dey mad! You want my close this guest house, do you know who I be?

Manager: I no wan know.

Me: lemme call the governor, I threatened.

Bodyguard2: we be state security.

Me: tell am oh!

Bodyguard1: here is not safe again, lets leave here.

Four of us left the bar parlour and went inside the guest house to get our things, while we were walking in the hallway we met the body-builder walking towards us with some i.d card in his hand. He stared at the i.d card and then me, I be wan run.
Ugochukwu don evacuate sef, he grabbed my shirt and raised me up.

Body-builder: where you wan run go?

TBC...

Gabriel ask am well ooh! he wan exchange ur carrot with im cassava abeg use am take gym.

mrmannothot:
Gabriel ask am well ooh! he wan exchange ur carrot with im cassava abeg use am take gym.

lol... this your comment make me laugh

OGA LANDLORD 21+




Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.




Episode 58




The two bodyguards with me pulled their guns and pointed at the angry gorilla staring daggers at me.

Bodyguard1: put him down now!!

Bodyguard2: we be state security, we go shoot you. No question *pull out an i.d and show him*

I come look down discover say my feet don travel up commot from the surface, lwkmd. This nigga gat no joy at all, he put me down naso I turn Americana.

Me: who the fu-ck are you!?

Body-builder: na me you dey ask *my heart jump* you go knack my wife!!

Me: what is this motherfucker yapping about?

Body-builder: na me you dey blow America for, no be you get this voter's card?

Me: awwnn.. What the fu-ck! this ain't me, damn!!.. it must be my goddam! twin bro, hand it to me anyways, am gonna give the kiddo.

Body-builder: where your twin dey?

Me: I just told you am gonna send him his voter's shit assho-le, that means he ain't here.

Body-builder: oya collect *I take the voter's card from him* deliver this message to am.

Me: what the fu-ck is that motherfu-cker?!

Naso I hear gboooooossssssaaaaaa!! I find myself floating in the air and I married the wall automatically, everywhere went blank. And I black out.

After some minutes I became subconscious again, I got up and look around me and saw the two bodyguards with Shantel and Ugochukwu, with some strange faces.

Me: what the fu-ck was that sound?

Ugochukwu: na the follow come madness with the slap?

My right cheek started peppering me immediately, I tried opening my mouth but pains shoot from my teeth and circulated all over my body.
Suddenly, my eyes became watery and tears started falling from my eyes.
Didn't know when I started sobbing.

Ugochukwu: men don't cry bro, America yo men. be a man.

Me: which man *sobbing* no repeat that thing oh! Man for that kind slap?

Ugochukwu: eyaaa! take heart.

Bodyguard1: sir, should we arrest him?

Me: arrest who?

Bodyguard2: the man that slapped you.

Me: why you no arrest the slap?

I left them there nursing my pains, I for don forget my room as Ugochukwu dey laugh me from behind.
I didn't know I was holding my voter' card till I saw Ishi sitting on the floor with his palms opened.

Me: Ishi, go baf make we commot here?

Ishi: I don baf finish na, I dey wait for ona *getting up*

The door opened laughing Ugochukwu stepped in with Shantel, with the two bodyguards.

Ugochukwu: yo men, yo men. Guy na America you been dey go but the mistake you make na to fly pass Nigeria, Nigeria women no get joy to thief children. *laughing*

Shantel: you need ice?

Me: for?

Shantel: your slapped cheek.

Me: no remind me again, bro make we make move.

Ugochukwu: this mission dey dangerous, make Shantel no follow us.

Me: one of the bodyguard go carry her go house with the other car.

Ishi followed the two bodyguards and Shantel to get their things while Ugochukwu fell on the bed laughing hysterically.

Ugochukwu: na another person wife toto go kill you, I swear.

Me: *I smile* how you take know?

Ugochukwu: you be my gee na, the way the babe dey eye you, I know say her puna no go escape.

Me: that guy fit kill person because of that babe oh, the slap send me to where I go see my papa.

Ugochukwu: na the same slap the guy slap me when you run leave me na.

The door opened, Shantel stepped in with the bodyguards and Ishi, Ishi held his bags with the two bodyguards.

Me: wetin be your name?

Bodyguard1: Michael.

Me: carry her home with your car.

Ugochukwu: why you choose the one wey no get muscles?

Me: em small but mighty, em go do the job well.

Ugochukwu opened his arms and Shantel hugged him, I commot my eyes.

Ugochukwu: I go miss you sugar pum pum.

Shantel: me too.

Me: em don do, dey go.

I teared them away and Ugochukwu chuckled while Shantel giggled, she went with Michael while our four got ready to move.
I picked up my bag and gave to Ugochukwu, took the bag of money and we headed out of the guest house.

We came out and didn't see the other car again, we went inside the car and drove out of the guest house.
We drove to the meeting hall and saw two soldiers parading the gate with guns, Madam Stella na action woman.

One of them walked to us and bent at the driver seat.

Soldier: who ona dey fine?

The other body-guard called his name or said something, all these their force code and we were granted access.
We entered the compound and saw soldiers everywhere, the type wey don go Sambisa forest come back. Them nodey smile at all.

I came down from the car and Ugochukwu did, with Ishi and the bodyguard.

Ugochukwu: who wan challenge?!

Me: nobody oh!

Ishi: wetin we dey do for here?

TBC..

Na now the real war go start