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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? (98453 Views)
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Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by sapeleboi(m): 7:10am On Jul 07, 2020 |
when you dey chop the beans we NAIRALAND nor know o, na wen problem come we go hear , na you beat the drum , na still you dance |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by YoungBlackRico(m): 7:11am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Unnerve:Mtcheew, the Op didn't marry the girl based on "how good the sex was". 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by IamDavid(m): 7:23am On Jul 07, 2020 |
CsRockefeller:I'm happy you explained how you're not a tribalist. I initially thought you were anyways. This (your explanation) is exactly how I feel about Igbo ladies. I love them, they're usually light skinned and beautiful (oh my gosh) but to gather strength to ask them out, na war for me. I was so close to one like that, we were next door neighbours in a rented apartment and we got so well together. I was getting emotional already but this tribe thing ehn... I'm Yoruba btw 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Royalhustle: 7:24am On Jul 07, 2020 |
'I knew in my heart i didnt love'... hear urself, children from frustrated home are everly confuse, u kno hear am say 'one man one woman' u choose u don choose die there and continue from hell 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by IamDavid(m): 7:27am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ThinkFreely:I'm sure you're not married lol |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by coputa(m): 7:28am On Jul 07, 2020 |
@ollins,you could have married an angel,but unfortunately,angels dont marry,let me tell you the truth,mrs right is never found anywhere except in dreams.My favourite saying about marriage is that." Don't marry who you love,love who you married" because we all have our short commings,including you the op,some will say couples should be compactable,yes,compactibility here means you should consider one another.it is you that will make things work out.learn to like and love her attitude and character,since they 're not harmful to you.if you dont change your mindset towards women,you will marry the whole world and still not satisfied. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Ishilove: 7:33am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Angelfrost:While you have spoken with a wisdom beyond your years, the op is a poster boy for the sexual immorality rocking this generation of youths. I don't pity him. He must carry his cross. The men here are excusing their lack of self control to preek not having 'manners' so let him bear the consequences of his preeks mannerlessness. Irresponsible yoot |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Codyt(m): 7:33am On Jul 07, 2020 |
bukatyne:They usually say "Dont fvck who you can't marry". E get why Op just wanted a bang |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by DigitB: 7:34am On Jul 07, 2020 |
My thoughts: that's your own cross. Carry it. You lied about loving her just to bleep her. Now the report card is out. Probably you're one of those Red pill shit guys and all that Now Karma and his darling Nemesis has paid you a visit Carry your cross man. Na so life is. If you think of divorcing her and abandoning your child, premium tears awaits. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by ThinkFreely: 7:34am On Jul 07, 2020 |
IamDavid:Well I am, why did you ask? |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Tolani0167(m): 7:34am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Bros I was in ur shoe some years back, don’t let anyone tell you to work it out. You can’t work what love is not involved. You can correct, instruct, discipline, teach who you don’t love it not possible ma brother. Just leave the marriage nothing can come out of it. I fought everything to stay out of the marriage now am enjoying my life with ma new sweet loving wife ollins: |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by IamDavid(m): 7:35am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ThinkFreely:I thought all married people "know" love is, many time a deliberate decision. (In the long run) |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Vivuch: 7:40am On Jul 07, 2020 |
But you have the prick to F***k who you don't love. Enjoy your misery. She's f***able but not marriageable. You're a mumu man 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by coputa(m): 7:41am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ThinkFreely:Love grows, if waters(nutured). |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by phartd(m): 7:42am On Jul 07, 2020 |
you are on ur own |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by DarkJeddi(m): 7:42am On Jul 07, 2020 |
faithfull18:You don't CHOOSE to love and it is NOT a decision.. The heart LOVES whom IT loves and that's THAT.. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Mortalranger007: 7:42am On Jul 07, 2020 |
leave or die there, thats a suicide mission, i feel your pain bro |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by bukatyne(f): 7:42am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Ishilove: The sexual immorality dubbed 'sexual freedom' is soooooo scary. How do people hop from one person to another without feelings or commitment? Sex has sadly lost its sacred nature. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by faithfull18(f): 7:44am On Jul 07, 2020 |
DarkJeddi:Love is not a feeling, love is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongdoing etc. The gizgiz you feel is often referred to as lust. Besides, we have different kinds of love, the Philio, agape etc. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by ThinkFreely: 7:46am On Jul 07, 2020 |
coputa:This one the op narrated won’t grow, unless we don’t wanna tell ourselves the truth. They are too incompatible. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by ThinkFreely: 7:47am On Jul 07, 2020 |
IamDavid:Not in this case when the person is totally not your kind of person. Unless she has some attributes that are appealing to the guy. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Mrpojj(m): 7:54am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ollins: You know of her character like this and you were doing it raw, am sure it wasn't once or twice |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by dakem: 7:54am On Jul 07, 2020 |
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Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by hectoro(f): 7:57am On Jul 07, 2020 |
In all this, please take some time to consider your child. If I not mistaken, this is your firstborn? Whatever decisions you take will have a significant impact on the future of that child. If you leave now, the child will most likely stay with the mother for the first 6 years before you are likely to take over custody, assuming the next wife you marry agrees to take up that responsibility. A child's character is Majorly shaped by early upbringing - making changes thereafter becomes harder. If you separate from the mother in a bitter manner, most likely the child will grow in an atmosphere of animosity towards you. Values, education, social skills etc are formed at this foundation stage- would you be comfortable leaving your child to be brought up alone by wifey and presumably her family? Imagine the wahala when you now want to marry wife #2? It's not so easy to find a new partner that will love your child as their own. Additional complications have entered the matter- you may have a wife who cannot or doesn't want to relate with your child, maltreats them behind your back etc. God save you if the child is coming to your home with festering animosity or even an inferiority complex. Or you have a culture where the firstborn son or daughter occupies an exalted position so your new wife is already operating at a disadvantage, now breeding some new animosity. My suggestion, just as a few have mentioned previously, is that you attempt first to develop a relationship with your wife, do all within your power to improve her as well as yourself. Set a target time within which you will see if things improve, examine all the consequences, learn from your mistakes. You can do this with her if she is a rational person or work it out on your own and see how she reacts. Plenty prayer and focus required on your part as head of the house and a daddy. If after a few years, the situation is totally irredeemable, work on a civil divorce knowing you did your best and move on. God bless you. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by ibinaboonline: 7:58am On Jul 07, 2020 |
You can learn to love each other. That's the truth. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Champneys: 7:59am On Jul 07, 2020 |
sylve11: What is this one talking about? Fu...cking simpleton! |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Monday60655(m): 8:07am On Jul 07, 2020 |
If you're not just an attention seeker, you enjoyed and loved her sexual prowess before you got her pregnant. So what was it that used to got her attracted to you then. Let that memory always come to your heart so that you will start loving her again and as well enjoy happy home. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Nobody: 8:09am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Its too late to do anything now. In your next life, learn to keep your JT in one place and look well before you leap. You are not the only one in this situation. Even people who once loved themselves are struggling now to keep it going so Stop crying over spilt milk. The deed is already done. My advice, learn to love her and stop looking at the "sophisticated" ladies out there whom you're now using to compare her. If you marry those one too, you'll still not be able to manage them. Marriage is deeper than what a lot of singles envisage or see from the outside. So just continue in your own, this time prayerfully. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by ELKHALIFAISIS(m): 8:11am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Chigold101:so what will be the reason he hate her if not any of this |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Adlac(m): 8:11am On Jul 07, 2020 |
gudvibz: What makes you think he hasn't done that before coming to the open? For a man to relate his pains he must have act. A man I say. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by rapid101(m): 8:13am On Jul 07, 2020 |
bros u Ve forgotten ur old tactics ? the way u convinced her to like u the way u convinced her by spreading her legs like bed sheet the way ur dick stood and u inserted the Sim inside d phone and she was screaming harder harder bro use dat dsame skill and everything ll comeback and love ll be in ur home. do it d way u did it b4 and she ll follow u like mtn any were u go |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by shunkhamy(m): 8:13am On Jul 07, 2020 |
You have enter the journey, if you want to help yourself, you have to focus on her strengths, overlook her mistakes and weakness. The marriage is not about two perfect people coming together, is all about two imperfect people coming together,love themselves for whom they are. If you can focus on positive part of her life, you will see reasons to love her. Help your baby. Remember little love that makes you her attracted to you. |
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