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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Think I Want Out (977 Views)
What Do You Want Out Of Life? / I Married Him Out Of Frustration,i Want Out But He Wont Let Me Go / Woman On Don9ja-the Nine(9) Things Girls Want Out Of A Relationship (2) (3) (4)
I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 8:03pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Permit me start by saying, I have my flaws. I could sometimes be a pain in the ass but I know when to press the stop button. My marriage is barely two year with a cute daughter ( haven) which I cheering and love with my breath. My wife has been a supportive woman,kind and homely untill recently. I may not be able to put things succinctly but I will try to be brief. We've had our hiccups just as every couple would but the last few months has been unbearable. My job takes me six month away from the shore of nja so my wife is virtually my eye on our business and growth. I support her with upkeep, yes it may not be enough but our plans has been that she add little from her salary to augment Wich she totally agreed to. A few weeks before I left home for work, we had a financial storm and few needs were hard to provide coz I wanted to quit my job and search for another job that will give me time with my family. While on job search I declined calls to rerun to work. So I hustled with me car for ubber and do occasional selling and buying of car for profit. My wife went ahead to gossip me to her elder sister whom I've always suspected has big influence on her coz her hubby is well to do, that we eat crumbs as meal. Before I found out this, I kept asking my wife if she has been tongue lashing me before her sister coz the sister attitude suddenly changed towards me but she denied it. I left for work and things went from bad to worse. I could have an emergency to put a cal across to her on WhatsApp but she wouldn't be online the very minute I need her online so I would resort to calling my relative or her siblings who are online to do voice call to her line. One of those days, she (my wife) called me with a nice phone coz complained her phone was acting up. On another occasion I called the line and her sisters hubby picked and gave me the warning of my life via WhatsApp msg that I should never call the line again that it's inconveniencing. I thought to myself, even if it was bad, should that be the way to approach things?I figured he prolly did that coz of what my wife has been saying... I forgot to add that my wife has been staying with her sister since the Advent of COVID19 on grounds that she is lonely and wants someone help her out take care of my daughter. I wasn't pleased but I agreed. Now, I made some investment that almost went South over 2mill to get two cars, of which one is for bolt and the other for sale. After the purchase, alot went bad in the cars ...I had to spend alot to fix and move them to calabar. The cash was even loan ooo. I was hoping after sales of the cars and ubber I should be able to make some profit. My wife started acting up amidst the problem. Asked I step up her stipend which I did (>10%) increment. Gbam I was told the ubber guy was involved in accident just few days ago. As if that wasn't enough, I started nagging is should get her a new phone. I drew her attention to the cars issues, the loan etc but my wife got very insensitive that she said slot of things that i cried on ship. We madeup and continued. The last time she told me that her relationship with her ex was far better than this Marriage. I was hurt to my soul that I told her let's go separate ways. Her sister even had the effrontery to call my kid sis and narrated all my wife has been telling her how stingy I am and her sister eating crumbs in my house, that's how I got to know the woman I married has been bad mouthing me to her family. I ordered her leave her sister place. Up untill today she wouldn't want to leave coz according to her she will be depressed back home and no one would be around to help out with my daughter while she goes to work. I've been trying to save money to go to uk to do officers course as oow which would cost about 8m, coz I am a rating. I hold diploma, bsc, msc and was once admitted for PhD but I quit coz of lack of funds. So I resorted to keeping the job reserved for unskilled labor because there are no jobs in nja. That how I found myself in the job I am now. I am distraught. My wife talks back at me, hang up on me, very heady, selfish, abuses no be here...I. Afraid I'm beginning to hate her. Has very bad sense of entitlement, even her pgd I literally forced her complete I am writing this with tears onboard. For the first time in my marriage I want to quit. Will be back with more details and screen shots
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Re: I Think I Want Out by TrollKiller(m): 8:06pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Mr Man, this woman will dump you for a better guy the first chance she gets! All I see up there is a man suffering from a nagging and unsupporting lady. It seems she dislikes working for something and prefers "ready made" I am suspecting the aunty cause she may be behind this change of character. Who knows, she might be looking outside the marriage for her "benefits" (hence her telling you that some people marriage is better than yours) How can your husband lose 2 fvxking million and all you could deduce from the situation is a request for wage increment?? Shows the kind of human she is. Be a papa to your child, love her and shield her (though I fear for the influence the mum will have on her), do all your necessary duties, but be wary of that lady. Stop updating her on what is going on, take back the reigns of your financial life and march forward. Since she doesn't appreciate how your toiling for her, she should have no problem in handing over. Don't sign anything in her name. The issues you put forward to her saw no solutions from her so don't bother telling her about them again! I won't recommend a divorce, but give her some distance, give her space Let her think on her own and make her own decision. 2 Likes |
Re: I Think I Want Out by tripplephi: 8:08pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
koife: DON'T QUIT.... at least NOT yet No marriage is perfect and PERFECT PEOPLE do not get married You probably didnt understand women before you got married. THAT IS THE MAJOR PROBLEM... Lemme shed more light, see ehn... WOMEN ALWAYS TALK OR EXPRESS HOW THEY FEEL..... and their FEELINGS are not usually dependable. MEN EXPRESS LOGICAL THOUGHTS MORE THAN HOW THEY FEEL. Let's take an EXAMPLE.... If a woman says "I HATE YOU".... she does not hate you... it is just how she FEELS at the moment. Due to hormones, their feelings change and are never constant... you just have to understand how to change it deliberately. But if a MAN says "I HATE YOU" ....well, he has reasoned it out in every logical way and TRULY HATES THE PERSON. Be grateful for you wife.... she is NOT cheating on you(so far, not yet), THIS SHOWS SHE IS STRONG AND ACTUALLY LOVES YOU. a married lady who can stay 6 MONTHS without SEX and COMPANIONSHIP must be very loyal and strong... so yes she is permitted to TALK. Women are wired to TALK MORE than they ACT. So, allow her be herself. You should focus on being better... I don't want you to take her words seriously but rather use her words to understand what is she saying. From what you said she says about her EX.... that may be a RED SIGN that her EX IS COMMUNICATION WITH HER..... and the temptation is getting too strong for her. I really want you to FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE. 2 YEARS and BLESSED WITH A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS shows a promising future.... pls calm down. Let me give you some tips to apply for the next 3 months... 1)Never call her when you are angry 2) Never come back from the ship without a gift for her 3) Up your sex game o 4) Always encourage her and laugh when she says ANNOYING THINGS(all her vent with her words) and turn it to joke 5) Always and deliberately tell her you love her IN UNIQUE WAYS.... voice note songs, words, videos... etc 6) PRAY FOR YOUR WIFE- If you are not prayerful and very watchful.... some other people will take your wife away from you. 7) ALWAYS BE READY TO FORGIVE HER.... she is truly your first daughter... so do not take her anger too serious. BE MATURE AND CALM ![]() I hope you will take my 50 cents of advice. Stay Strong bro... just because 2020 looks like a horror movie does not mean it can not have a happy ending. God bless you sir. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Think I Want Out by TrollKiller(m): 8:11pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
tripplephi:You had to quote the whole thing to say this |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 8:15pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
TrollKiller:Thanks man |
Re: I Think I Want Out by Alwaysachick: 8:19pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Na them.......one sided story. Know when to press the stop button ![]() Op we need more screen shots showing your own side of the chats. |
Re: I Think I Want Out by TrollKiller(m): 8:25pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Alwaysachick:The only faulty foundation I see here is the involvement of third and fourth parties into the marriage Such marriages suffer and NEVER end well |
Re: I Think I Want Out by dingbang(m): 8:31pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
You see, finance is always my issue in relationships. All the ladies I have dated never got it right with financial issues. 1 Like |
Re: I Think I Want Out by AfroKnight: 8:34pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
From the WhatsApp chat, I can see that she complains about the way you explain things to her. Do not be condescending when explaining things to another adult, especially your wife. Try not to make her look stupid because you have a better idea on something. I don’t think this is the end of the road. You can still mend things. Being offshore is very challenging. It puts a lot of pressure on relationships. Just hang in there. When next you’re around, try to settle with her. Your brother in-law is a fôol though. Never forget that. |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 8:41pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
AfroKnight:Thnx mate |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 8:42pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
dingbang:My wife wants me spend and spend |
Re: I Think I Want Out by Alwaysachick: 8:45pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
TrollKiller: That part is just a phase because she is presently staying with the 'parties'. Op stays away for at least six months straight. When did he start this work? Was it what she bargained for? They are just going through hard times that will pass If they really understand each other. |
Re: I Think I Want Out by IceColdVeins(m): 8:47pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
If your life don dey scatter Because you no get money Your girlfriends dey hater Na problem don dey plenty You know the way forward?.......... 1 Like
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Re: I Think I Want Out by Alwaysachick: 9:02pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
koife: Did you come here for advice or looking for where to boost your ego Send us more screen shots I really want to see your part of the chats. |
Re: I Think I Want Out by dingbang(m): 9:05pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
koife:she won't kill you before your time Allah... Young men are slumping and dying these days due to family pressures and stress. Please leave while you can.. Life at sea is far better than a stressful marriage on land. |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 9:08pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
dingbang:It is well with me |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 9:12pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Alwaysachick: |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 9:16pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Alwaysachick:
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Re: I Think I Want Out by Alwaysachick: 9:17pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
koife: Thats not enough screenshot for me, like you are picking those with your best behavior. Well you should have noticed her ability to manage or misuse finances when you people were dating, takes us back to the faulty foundation. All these could have been avoided. But truth be told, you are quite condescending, and nagging, change your approach. Be more polite when passing your message considering the fact that you are not around it won't make you a simp as some people here reason. Instead it will make her regard you. You want respect, earn it! give it! 1 Like |
Re: I Think I Want Out by koife(m): 9:20pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
Alwaysachick:not here to claim right. I'm just venting. I'm tired |
Re: I Think I Want Out by dingbang(m): 9:33pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
koife:by the way, Koife, I want to experience some life at sea. Connect me ![]() |
Re: I Think I Want Out by Nobody: 5:38pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
. |
Re: I Think I Want Out by delugadou(m): 5:16am On Aug 01, 2020 |
koife:bro please make out time to say a word of prayer for me. I'm in need of a destiny helper. thanks prophet |
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