koife:
Permit me start by saying, I have my flaws. I could sometimes be a pain in the ass but I know when to press the stop button. My marriage is barely two year with a cute daughter ( haven) which I cheering and love with my breath. My wife has been a supportive woman,kind and homely untill recently. I may not be able to put things succinctly but I will try to be brief. We've had our hiccups just as every couple would but the last few months has been unbearable.

My job takes me six month away from he shore of nja so my wife is virtually my eye on our business and growth. I support her with upkeep, yes it may not be enough but our plans has been that she add little from her salary to augment Wich she totally agreed to. A few weeks before I left home for work, we had a financial storm and few needs were hard to provide coz I wanted to quit my job and search for another job that will give me time with my family. While on job search I declined calls to rerun to work. So I hustled with me car for ubber and do occasional sale and buying of another car for profit. My wife went ahead to gossip me to her elder sister whom I've always suspected has big influence on her coz her hubby is well to do that we eat scrums as meal. Before I found out this, I kept asking my wife is she has been tongue lashing me before her sister coz the sister attitude suddenly changed towards me but she denied it. I left for work and things went from bad to worse. I could have an emergency to out a cal across to her on WhatsApp but she wouldn't be online the very minute I need her online so I would resort to calling my relative or her siblings who are online to do voice call to her line. One of those days, she (my wife) called me with a nice phone coz complained her phone was acting up. On another occasion I called the line and her sisters hubby picked and gave me the warning of my life via WhatsApp msg that I should never call the line again that it's inconveniencing. I thought to myself, even if it was bad, should that be the way to approach things? I forgot to add that my wife has been staying with her sister since the Advent of COVID19 on grounds that she is lonely and wants someone help her out take care of my daughter. I wasn't pleased but I agreed. Now, I made some investment that almost went South over 2mill to get two cars, of which one is for bolt and the other for sale. After the purchase, alot went bad in the cars ...I had to spend alot to fix and move them to calabar. The cash was even loan ooo. I was hoping after sales of the cars and ubber I should be able to make some profit. My wife started acting up amidst the problem. Asked I step up her stipend which I did (>10%) increment. As if that wasn't enough, I started nagging is should get her a new phone. I drew her attention to the cars issues, the loan etc but my wife got very insensitive that she said slot of things that i cried on ship. We madeup and continued. The last time she told me that her relationship with her ex was far better than this Marriage. I was hurt to my soul that I told her let's go separate ways. Her sister even had the effrontery to call my kid sis and narrated all my wife has been telling her how stingy I am and her sister eating crumbs in my house, that's how I got to know the woman I married has been bad mouthing me to her family. I ordered her leave her sister place. Up untill today she wouldn't want to leave coz according to her she will be depressed back home and no one would be around to help out with my daughter while she goes to work. I've been trying to save money to go to uk to do officers course as oow, coz I am a rating. I hold diploma, bsc, msc and was once admitted for PhD but I quit coz of lack of funds. So I resorted to keeping the job reserved for unskilled labor because there are no jobs in nja. That how I found myself in the job I am now. I am distraught. My wife talks back at me, hang up on me, very heady, selfish, abuses no be here...I. Afraid I'm beginning to hate her.

I am writing this with tears onboard. For the first time in my marriage I want to quit.

Will be back with more details and screen shots

tripplephi:


DON'T QUIT.... at least NOT yet

TrollKiller:
Mr Man, this woman will dump you for a better guy the first chance she gets!
All I see up there is a man suffering from a nagging and unsupporting lady. It seems she dislikes working for something and prefers "ready made"
I am suspecting the aunty cause she may be behind this change of character. Who knows, she might be looking outside the marriage for her "benefits" (hence her telling you that some people marriage is better than yours)
How can your husband lose 2 fvxking million and all you could deduce from the situation is a request for wage increment?? Shows the kind of human she is.
Be a papa to your child, love her and shield her (though I fear for the influence the mum will have on her), do all your necessary duties, but be wary of that lady.
Stop updating her on what is going on, take back the reigns of your financial life and march forward. Since she doesn't appreciate how your toiling for her, she should have no problem in handing over.
Don't sign anything in her name. The issues you put forward to her saw no solutions from her so don't bother telling her about them again!
I won't recommend a divorce, but give her some distance, give her space
Let her think on her own and make her own decision.

Alwaysachick:
Very sensitive issues, the marriage is just 2 years old. I think there was a faulty foundation.

AfroKnight:
From the WhatsApp chat, I can see that she complains about the way you explain things to her. Do not be condescending when explaining things to another adult, especially your wife. Try not to make her look stupid because you have a better idea on something.

I don’t think this is the end of the road. You can still mend things. Being offshore is very challenging. It puts a lot of pressure on relationships. Just hang in there. When next you’re around, try to settle with her.

Your brother in-law is a fôol though. Never forget that.

dingbang:
You see, finance is always my issue in relationships. All the ladies I have dated never got it right with financial issues.

TrollKiller:

The only faulty foundation I see here is the involvement of third and fourth parties into the marriage
Such marriages suffer and NEVER end well

koife:

My wife wants me spend and spend

koife:

My wife wants me spend and spend

dingbang:
she won't kill you before your time Allah... Young men are slumping and dying these days due to family pressures and stress. Please leave while you can.. Life at sea is far better than a stressful marriage on land.

Alwaysachick:
Na them.......one sided story. Know when to press the stop button? Why start it? Knowing fully well you are very absent in the marriage.


Op we need more screen shots showing your own side of the chats.

Alwaysachick:


Did you come here for advice or looking for where to boost your ego


Send us more screen shots I really want to see your part of the chats.

koife:

Alwaysachick:



Thats not enough screenshot for me.

Well you should have noticed her ability to manage or misuse finances when you people were dating, takes us back to the faulty foundation.

koife:

It is well with me

koife:
not here to claim right. I'm just venting. I'm tired