pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Wisdom

pocohantas:


People ask that question out of concern, not because they want to open a fast food kitchen for you. Just good ol concern. If you don’t like it, open your mouth and tell him to stop asking you.

We are here to talk about what he thinks, which prompted his actions- not what I think.

Once again, I never said you are guilty. I said you are a victim of stereotyping. You are quite presumptuous...

Gracias

...Nice one. Remain blessed

We need emotional care and not necessarily cash. He could have asked:

- why haven't you eaten?
-hope there's no issue?

That will be as good and comforting as money.

You guys are too bland emotionally. Even if you dont have money, why fear to ask what the matter is? If you don't have money will she kill you? Did she ask you? Don't assume in a relationship, it causes issues.

Everything is not about money.

I don't normally do this before but I am forced to because op and most commenting really misunderstood me. Yeah am the guy. I had to create this new account to hid my identity. Am Christian and everything I said and did I did with good intentions. Am not the type of guys that will blank or reject her because of money. I really wanted to her then. Infact one the reason I back peddled was because I couldn't assist then. She pose to me then like she was truly in need and I felt ashamed of myself. Not knowing she was lying. She could tell from my intentions then that I meant well. I was going through a lot of this then. Some of which the op knew about. I had this issue that landed me in court. Though she didn't know about the court issue. Am this type of person if am going through a ruff part, I don't like disturbing others. I keep things to myself. We just knew each other, and I cannot be sharing all this with you. If the op notice then, I wasn't if commenting on nl then. I was reserve in everything. Since

Mac12:
I met a great dude here

you mean your husband ?

YourCoffin:
Madam was watering ground for the normal urgent 2k. Guy man saw through it and jakpa.

Kpele dear. As you dey avoid men's burden na so wise guys dey dey begin avoid women's burden

Abi you thnk all the advice they get here no dey enter their head

Lol!

pocohantas:


People ask that question out of concern, not because they want to open a fast food kitchen for you. Just good ol concern. If you don’t like it, open your mouth and tell him to stop asking you.

We are here to talk about what he thinks, which prompted his actions- not what I think.

Once again, I never said you are guilty. I said you are a victim of stereotyping. You are quite presumptuous...

Gracias

your reasoning is like that of a man. I’m fucking impressed lolz

shut up your dirty mouth there Op, do you know if he had many weird experience and disappointment? many of you ladies will even rub the assistance on his face and make him look like a fool


my guy if you're reading this, you tried and I'm so happy the testimony is here, she even said what if the person is hunger dead God forbid, you don't have family members?


many of you ladies have made men to stop going into relationship because of your over entitlement, if you continue to see relationship as a means to survive hunger, you will be disappointed as men are now wise

Girls always feel pained when something of this nature happens.


But they do this a lot to guys.

I have a friend (guy). Who asked a lady out she declined at first but accepted later. Till he lost his job.
She dessertted the guy did even give him a call. Any time he calls she yawns and will seem uninterested.

The guy actually felt really bad by this tho.

You can't blame.the guy

CalliDora1:



The funny thing is I never asked him for anything all through the period we were "together" because he already made me understand he was a civil servant. So, it doesn't cross my mind to ask cos I do feel for him. evethough their salary was constant that period and mine was halted cos it's a private sector, It never crossed my mind to ask. Even when he promised to send me airtime, I didn't remind him and quickly subscribed just to keep up with our chats. So... I don't get it. Some men though.

Both of you started out by suspecting each other.... So your friendship was bound to fail. If it was me, I'd have certainly asked you why you haven't eaten for days.

[quote author=CalliDora1 post=96175802][/quote]If my senses work correctly when someone doesn't eat in 4-6 hours after their meal, they usually start having the sensation of hunger. You want to lie say as you dey fast, hunger no dey worry you??smh. you funny sha, you never chop for 3 days and you are not hungry..

pocohantas:


Telling someone you haven’t eaten for 3 good days without giving any reason is enough to put the person off. I am a lady and I tell you, I would be put off!

Guys pull these tests sometimes and it annoys me. Don’t test me, I will fail.

Things that makes me run from ladies I just met or trying to establish relationship:

I've not eaten, I don't have money to buy data, I haven't made new hair in months, my phone is bad, I need to change it etc

I will run and not look back. Don't test me too because I've failed even before the test

It could be the guy thought it is his duty to help you with food and bills, most naija girls automatically wants guys to help them card food, bills and help solve their family financial wahala. I know there are some good nigerian men out there same with women.

2017 i met a girl online became chat buddies. 2017 she helped me deliver a birthday cake to a friend, 2018 i was supposed to send her £22 for birthday cake accidentally sent her £2,200. Guess what she did? She returned all my money back i know theee are honest guys and ladies out there online.

Bola146:
I have met a lot of guys in Angel's image and I have met some useless, insane, kids, lazy guys here on nairaland, so I'm not surprised. I think he is looking forward to know much about you financially and materially. Just don't expose all your life to him, he is a pretender looking for sugar mummy ( they are many here especially those kids ) he knew you couldn't be hungry , just play along with him.

I'll probably do the same. You don't call him. He alone calls and asks after you. He practically carries the conversations because I really believe that it's when the ladies are boring to talk to that guys begin to ask if they've eaten for lack of anything to discuss.

Then you decided to start playing him by telling him you haven't eaten for days. What did you expect him to say? Even after he apologized for not being able to help, you didn't come straight with him. He obviously likes you or he wouldn't be trying to get back as no be only you be the girl wey dey this world.

phorget:



You'll do just the same when you feel helpless helping someone's situation. I've heard countless replies like" shey nah call we wan chop" even after you've tried to show concern about a situation by calling when calling is the only thing you can offer at that particular time.

The truth is that most guys know the exact thing to do but what we don't know how to do is how best to please a woman.
I've had my experiences too, I once met a serving corper whom I do call just to check on her well-being. There was a day I called her and she told me she's at home of which she ought to be in her ppa, I asked her why she's home and her excuse was that she doesn't have the tfare to and fro her ppa. I called her the second day just to hear the same excuse again and I was really in pain not been able to help. I had only 2k in my account then and I immediately asked her to send her account details, I actually sent her the whole 2k but up till date no thank you from her. So I guess she felt the money is small or perhaps I've been taken for a ride sha.

When you can't help then there's thing shame that always creep in and the best thing to do is to withdraw until the air clears out so don't blame the dude please.

You don't seem to understand. I wasn't mad a him for not being able to help but why blank me then ( evethough I wasn't really broke and dying of hunger like most people here think) and is coming back now. To what end exactly?
I believe the chats and calls would have kept the fire burning but he stopped for reasons which don't exist. Or what should I say is the reason.

pocohantas:


It is not about your kind of person, it is stereotyping. I am sure you are guilty of a few- I have spotted one sef. That is the same way he formed his own notion. You kept saying you haven’t eaten and it triggered his alarm...

Trigger his alarm lol. True most naija girl neva chop if u ask them

CalliDora1:


I said he did and asked if I didn't have food but I just replied, I'll be fine. He actually did but my concern is why he went mute and is now coming back asking the same annoying questions.

you are not okay, believe me. you are not psychologically normal.

and if I had you as a friend and you did this online, I will erase you from my life completely until you apologise sincerely


what rubbish!

CalliDora1:



Lol.. Ishi Ishi... Your comments always cracks me up.

I think he asked why on one of those days but I told him nothing and he said don't you have food? I told him I'll be fine. I think that was when he first said "im sorry" and didn't call for four days.

Let me go and buy dangote cement for the blocking. Hahahahaaaa Ishi will not kill me o.

Ha Dangote cement, not a wise move. Cement is now #3200. Bae U know ur heart follow ur instinct. Some guys are just broke and they want to roll with d most beautiful babylon in town.
I understand buhari has succeeded in pauperizing every body at the moment, but i have a simple rule; if u are not there for me in my darkest hour or time of need, i simple drop u like a bad habit.
He should just man up, everyone is broke. I will never advice anyone to settle with a bro or sister who is too churchy.

Ishilove:
So if you were truly in need of help that is how he would have abandoned you. Please block him. We don't need useless people in our lives

Is Ishi now a transgender? Just curious!

CalliDora1:



Lol..@bolded.. I don't blame you. Poco don give you something talk, shey? 2k kor. Why would I ask my supposed man for 2k if i want to stock up my pantry? Abi because of small lockdown everyone want to dey reason themselves anyhow? please don't reason me like that.

I'd like to be your CalliDora1 if you don't mind

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Let your heels be touching the back of your head as you run my dear. Sounds like he’s up to no good. If it happened just had you stated, then end it all.

Michdaf:
I don't normally do this before but I am forced to because op and most commenting really misunderstood me. Yeah am the guy. I had to create this new account to hid my identity. Am Christian and everything I said and did I did with good intentions. Am not the type of guys that will blank or reject her because of money. I really wanted to her then. Infact one the reason I back peddled was because I couldn't assist then. She pose to me then like she was truly in need and I felt ashamed of myself. Not knowing she was lying. She could tell from my intentions then that I met well. I was going through a lot of this then. Some of which the op knew about. I had this issue that landed me in court. Though she didn't know about the court issue. Am this type of person if am going through a ruff part, I don't like disturbing others. I keep things to myself. We just knew each other, and I cannot be sharing all this with you. If the op notice then, I wasn't if commenting on nl then. I was reserve in everything. Since

my brother save yourself the stress, for someone to bring this to public show she's an irresponsible lady, your situation when you met her is just a coincidence to show you, she doesn't worth it


and please for many men that are hustling please I beg you don't go into a relationship with a broke lady, I'm not saying you should be collecting from lady but at least date a lady that can take care of herself while you hustle to make a stand for yourself


so guy you owed no one any explanation

I think it is now safe to say nairaland is not the best place to get relationships advices. People's comments here complicate issues for whoever is asking for such advice.
You can tell him how you feel about that his behaviour. He might not be what you are thinking.

kkins25:
oh!! poco is well known for @bolded. however, when she and now defunt moniker fumitsiqueen(which i miss to be honest) are working together against patriachy im usually on the other side

Continuation. Since you this am going to let everything out. Another reason why I back peddled was she had issues on nl. She had been in different relationship in the past that was gave her bad impression here on nl. She had to change her moniker different times. Infact people of her past relationships still hurt her. I just came out of a relationship that was a disaster. And am not ready to get involved in another traumatic relationship. So when all this things start coming out, I decided I should give her time to sort herself out. People were cursing and insulting her. She hardly comment without people cursing her and am not ready for such. So I withdrew.

BabbanBura:


Is Ishi now a transgender? Just curious!

Ishi is in touch with Yin

Mandela27:
Bro we already created this intensive feeling,like we talk about everything,I make her vjay tingle everytime we talk(she likes it),so seeing her online will make me recall on those sweet moments,I dont want her drama to continue.I hate that attitude men,I cant endure it.I like my girl to be open and act maturely

you did the right then, she should continue wallowing in childishness... Mtcheeeew

CalliDora1:


Delete this now otherwise I'll give you e-punch.

Frosh, now!!!

Why your instance might not be the type that you ain't the one that told him you had not eaten for three consecutive days of asking you, looking at it from men angles, that sent him a wrong impression. He felt that you might be those type of girls that will bill a man simply because he asks if you have eaten.

Why you may not be that type of a lady, the truth is that men these days don't want to shoulder any unnecessary financial burden from any lady when there is no actual commitment on the part of the lady. He was only trying to avoid unnecessary financial implications. That's why.

For instance, I lost interest in a lady I met on Facebook simply because the first message she sent me on WhatsApp was she has not eaten since 2 days. I simply told her I have not eaten for 2 weeks. She then said ok. That was the last time we chatted. I simply deleted her number. Why? She gave me that impression that she will be a parasite.

If I were the guy, I will still do the same. I will surely withdraw because of the impression you created of always saying you have not eaten any time he asks you if you have eaten.

To me, that's a wrong impression to give a guy of a friendship that is just starting off.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Shebi your fellow ladies here say all the teaching abi learning threads telling guys never to date broke ladies or marry one or spend a dime on a lady na wash


Guys are upgrading oh, ladies need to be worried and amend their ways



I went to the bank few weeks ago after a very long time cos I can't remember the last time I visited a bank but because it was a forex stuff and the bank said only account owner can pay so so amount of foreign bills to a Dom account, so I decided to go myself bcsuse I needed the money lodged into that account urgently.


There was a queu, in the queue and the one I met inside the banking hall again, I got to meet a pretty damsel; don't ask me how


We exchanged contacts. I later discovered the girl was a student at a private uni lol

A week later she started that crap talk of I need to tell you something please lol, I started laughing when I heard that cos I already know lol


She said she need an urgent help bla bla bla, I burst into laughter and ended the call. She sent pages of messages, I never read till today.


Few days later she called and apologized and said so because she asked me for a favor that she knows I am bigger than, that I stopped replying her messages or picking her calls, I laughed it off.


See, ladies have abused those little privilege from guys....ladies and girls must wake up and realize that guys no longer cherish those their I need a help. No guy want to be tagged mugu or maga or hoodlum lol




In years to come, relationship will be like business transaction; give me this and take this strictly defined, no more hiding under relationship or dating to milk guys while laughing at them behind.


Many guys now are scared of broke ladies.....many guys are single and financially settled to marry but they don't want to marry any jobless or broke lady who also comes from poor family and still lack humility and respect

JONNYSPUTE:
...Nice one. Remain blessed

Kind of agree with you people ask because they care it is also chat up line to have conversation

pocohantas:


People ask that question out of concern, not because they want to open a fast food kitchen for you. Just good ol concern. If you don’t like it, open your mouth and tell him to stop asking you.

We are here to talk about what he thinks, which prompted his actions- not what I think.

Once again, I never said you are guilty. I said you are a victim of stereotyping. You are quite presumptuous...

Gracias

Only you have the brains of 30 nairaland ladies put together lol