Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,205,428 members, 7,992,412 topics. Date: Sunday, 03 November 2024 at 05:58 AM

Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? - Family (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? (63556 Views)

Married And Engaged Couples: How Did He Propose? / Should I Arrest & Sue My Brother-in-law For This? I Need Advice / Men, Can You Overlook This If You Find Your Wife Being Held This Way At The Gym? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (33) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 2:44pm On Nov 18, 2020
tellwisdom:


U enter into unplanned fasting because your business de on suspense. Now guy man wan weigh all the circumstances behind your business and connect am with your present hunger situation.. And I sure say the guy will not just wake up one morning and be asking you all these questions if something didn’t trigger it. Ogbeni, u de vex becos guy man don unlock u before u lock am. Try another person for Anambra.


Lol.. mehnn this comment ehn.. I'm literally laughing out loud here. Damn!!! I can't stop laughing please. Let me share o..
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 2:44pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:



Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please!
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

7 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by SupBruh: 2:44pm On Nov 18, 2020
Ishilove:

Okay, understood.

Switch to the below when responding to his messages-

aiit
kk
kkk
Cool
Lol
Tenks

Etc. I believe that is diplomatic and polite enough. Hin body go tell am.

Smh... I reckon you are a lot more intelligent than this. Maybe giving advice is not your strong suit.. Use to have plenty of respect for you but this is typical "slay girl" advice.. Maybe I'm missing the point but this looks like you're a taking a feministic view of the situation or it could be that I'm giving you too much credit and you are just as plain as the statement you made.. Either way.. Do better.

10 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 2:45pm On Nov 18, 2020
Chiquitq:
He is not an all weather friend but kindly note that telling someone that you've not eaten more than once also sends wrong signals. Except it is obvious that you are too busy to eat. Forget about this guy, he doesn't mean well at all. If you really lost your job and you were good friends, he might have offered a token to cushion the effect but then again, some girls would turn such nice gesture into an opportunity to take a man for granted and milk him. Just forget about this guy.
Mr seun please you need to do something about this like of a thing .
I want to give this girl 1 million likes now but it's pretty impossible .
CalliDora1 why are you using a broke strategy to test him ? I guess you're trying to test him or know the kind of person he is maybe he is the stingy type or otherwise.
That format you gave him is not a smart format.
Around early march when the pandemic was still at it peak ,I met a girl and we starting talking our chats and talks most times was base on the pandemic .
So as a real nigarrrrr in the dating game I started acting to nice and she noticed this
So after some weeks of our chats she gave me a test but I didn't know .
So me not knowing on time that she was giving me a test I failed . the test was all about knowing my personality.
She did it in a smart way.you didn't do it in a smart way
Telling someone you haven't eaten more than twice would make the person sense that something is wrong.
CalliDora1 I will ask you the question once again .
If at all you want to know the kind person he is
Must it be a broke testing method? grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Bamz(m): 2:45pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:


Exactly how I've been replying his text since last night. the next thing was "are you angry at me? Why are you responding like this? undecided. Imagine.. I just replied, nothing.grin

I've been reading your comments and I feel ashamed for the guy in the question. In all of this, you see no fault in what you've done since everything is about you, not a problem. Just don't waste his time, and tell him off immediately.

A wise person is always willing to know how he or she would have done things differently.

7 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Ishilove: 2:46pm On Nov 18, 2020
SupBruh:


Smh... I reckon you are a lot more intelligent than this. Maybe giving advice is not your strong suit.. Use to have plenty of respect for you but this is typical "slay girl" advice.. Maybe I'm missing the point but this looks like you're a taking a feministic view of the situation or it could be that I'm giving you too much credit and you are just as plain as the statement you made.. Either way.. Do better.
You can liberally anoint my ass with your lips.

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Bamz(m): 2:46pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:


Exactly how I've been replying his text since last night. the next thing was "are you angry at me? Why are you responding like this? undecided. Imagine.. I just replied, nothing.grin

I've been reading your comments and I feel sorry for the guy in the question. In all of this, you see no fault in what you've done since everything is about you, not a problem. Just don't waste his time, and tell him off immediately.

A wise person is always willing to know how he or she went wrong and would have done things differently.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 2:46pm On Nov 18, 2020
nenyewrites:


You should change this attitude in your next relationship. Else you’ll be hurting your partner unintentionally.
Thanks for the advice
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 2:48pm On Nov 18, 2020
Sarita01:
I really can't relate to the unnecessary fuss,I think high expectations is the reason you're hurt,you might not have asked him for stuff but you were expecting him to offer cos if he had offered I'm very sure you would'nt have refused. Why must you test him? How are you sure his questions isn't even a test?cos all I see is 2 pple trying to outsmart the other. There are subtle ways you can tell someone you've not eaten,it's either you tell half truths or you evade the question but you continuously saying no,sent the wrong message across, your outright NO seemed like coded begging.
Am I the only one who thinks asking if someone has eaten is plain annoying and stupid cos I don't see the essence,what if I haven't eaten would you come and feed me,I seriously hate that question and I detest when guys ask such. The guy's continuous asking is enough to put you off. The nigga mAh sef get zero chills,sharp sharp him jakpa,he no want turn pesin papa,just tell him what he did to you that you don't like and then you guys can go ya seperate ways amicably. And babe stop putting people on high pedestal so that when they disappoint you you wouldn't get hurt unnecessarily.

Nothing Trump no go see for US elections cheesy @coded begging! cheesy. cheesy

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by ford101: 2:48pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:


My dear, my dear hm.

Now imagine if I marry such a man, when there's little challenge in biz, he'll blank me? These thoughts have been rioting in my heart since our last contact.

Yeah sure we don't need such in our lives.
you can't give what you truly don't have.the man doesn't have money.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by coolsegun2002: 2:48pm On Nov 18, 2020
Did any one see where the OP said “I naturally began to feel relaxed against my wish”

Lol......Women...they will always look for a way to make it look like U forced them....


Somehow ....she’s shocked the guy was uninterested becos she’s not financial okay at the moment...

Is that not a normal script from a woman’s playbook??.......now its shocking them...

18 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by OmoOshodi(m): 2:49pm On Nov 18, 2020
pocohantas:


People ask that question out of concern, not because they want to open a fast food kitchen for you. Just good ol concern. If you don’t like it, open your mouth and tell him to stop asking you.

We are here to talk about what he thinks, which prompted his actions- not what I think.

Once again, I never said you are guilty. I said you are a victim of stereotyping. You are quite presumptuous...

Gracias
wisdom will not kill this poco.....younjust earned a fan today...maximum....maximum respect to you

3 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by SupBruh: 2:50pm On Nov 18, 2020
Ishilove:

You can liberally anoint my ass with your lips.

oh... You would like that, won't you?
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by biotechshola(m): 2:51pm On Nov 18, 2020
Story by a girl... Supported by fellow girls.

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by timota(m): 2:51pm On Nov 18, 2020
[quote author=CalliDora1 post=96177219]

Roflol... Una no go kill person on here o.. [/quote
Na that part of the story sweet me die, it do happen,someone will pray "God if this girl I'm talking to be winch, make she no answer o,and when u no come answer am ,he go rush go give testimony for Church say God don deliver him from big problem.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by EndRape2(f): 2:51pm On Nov 18, 2020
I said it before that most of the guys on nairaland needs home training. Lol, they do not know want they want, they keep saying do not spend on a girl, but they will want sex, even Bible says where a man heart is, that is where is treasure will be. Any man not spending on a girl, does not live the girl, ladies take note, sex is not love to men, a man can give you different style, travel from far, to come see you, as long as, he is not taking care of you financially, and your needs does not move him, he does not live you, period







quote author=CalliDora1 post=96168639]Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

[/quote]
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 2:51pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:



Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please!

Nigga owes you nothing angry - you don't gerrit, do you?

2 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by harmony75: 2:53pm On Nov 18, 2020
why will anyone ask me if I have eaten? I pity this generation o � what a very dumb question to ask, have you eaten?!?! it's just like saying have I had my bath? is only a dummy that could ask such question so unnecessary � and irritating.if you don't know what to say when you call friends or someone don't waste your time naw you asked the silly question and if no will you buy the food for them?
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by coolsegun2002: 2:53pm On Nov 18, 2020
pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...


Nigerian babes and 2k...

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by gbemishile: 2:54pm On Nov 18, 2020
To the guy-stop asking if the girl has eaten.its a question that girls ask and not boys..don't be a pvssy
Thmo the girl,why u dey 'test' am? Does he look like a tester

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by crackhaus: 2:54pm On Nov 18, 2020
Sarita01:
I really can't relate to the unnecessary fuss, I think high expectations is the reason you're hurt,you might not have asked him for stuff but you were expecting him to offer cos if he had offered I'm very sure you would'nt have refused. Why must you test him? How are you sure his questions isn't even a test?cos all I see is 2 pple trying to outsmart the other. There are subtle ways you can tell someone you've not eaten,it's either you tell half truths or you evade the question but you continuously saying no,sent the wrong message across,your outright no seemed like coded begging.
Am I the only one who thinks asking if someone has eaten is plain annoying and stupid cos I don't see the essence,what if I haven't eaten would you come and feed me,I seriously hate that question and I detest when guys ask such. The guy's continuous asking is enough to put you off. The nigga mAh sef get zero chills,sharp sharp him jakpa,he no want turn pesin papa,just tell him what he did to you that you don't like and then you guys can go ya seperate ways amicably. And babe stop putting people on high pedestal so that when they disappoint you you wouldn't get hurt unnecessarily.
Lmao, so on point...

If you go through a previous topic of this same chic, you will notice this same pattern of behaviour. cheesy
Babe has an unusually high sense of entitlement and expectation from guys who are interested in her...but unfortunately for her, she keeps meeting men who simply don't have the patience to impress her. LOL

https://www.nairaland.com/6215804/life-no-balance

CalliDora1, you want to remain single for a long time with all this your yeye attitude abi. Hopefully, you'll be lucky enough to meet a man whose brain is not developed enough to detect your type of person from a distance...
Don't worry, there are still men like that for you. All hope is not lost. cool

Like I noted on your previous thread, women like yourself are usually easy to spot by men like me – this particular guy you're complaining about here is obviously one of us. grin

16 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Bodyodour: 2:55pm On Nov 18, 2020
Ladycewhy:
But how can anyone be fine without money? undecided. Even Fg has money as their problem hence the borrowing even from Brazil.
why would a girl without much connection to the friend tell you her financial problem? Is it not to beg ? Some ladies no dey try cha cha!!
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by vivalavida(m): 2:55pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Na the family matter we dey settle be this.

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Poseidon000: 2:57pm On Nov 18, 2020
pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

babe, you're wise and reasonable, not because your opinion resonate with mine, but because you were clear headed and logical enough not to pander to the emotionally charged tosh most people of your gender are well predisposed to yap on this matter, as they're already doing.

her terse reply sent a wrong signal on a distasteful scale, and the guy was descent enough to deduce and apologize for his inability to rise up to the what her reply connotes. but then, one can not make a plausible excuse for his suppose 1 to 2 months communication hiatus.
Cos, friends are suppose to check on each other; atleast, to ascertain how the other is faring.

4 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by OmoOshodi(m): 2:57pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 2:58pm On Nov 18, 2020
crackhaus:

Lmao, so on point...

If you go through a previous topic of this same chic, you will notice this same pattern of behaviour. cheesy
Babe has an unusually high sense of entitlement and expectation from guys who are interested in her...but unfortunately for her, she keeps meeting men who simply don't have the patience to impress her. LOL

https://www.nairaland.com/6215804/life-no-balance

CalliDora1, you want to remain single for a long time with all this your yeye attitude abi. Hopefully, you'll be lucky enough to meet a man whose brain is not developed enough to detect your type of person from a distance...
Don't worry, there are still men like that for you. All hope is not lost. cool

Like I noted on your previous thread, women like yourself are usually easy to spot by men like me – this particular guy you're complaining about here is obviously one of us. grin

Just let me be.
That's why I said it's typical of most nairaland guys to always assume someone wants to beg them for favor.

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by victorazyvictor(m): 2:58pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:


My dear. @bolded is my thoughts because he resumed the question this morning again.

Sugar what?.. this person I'm telling you is a MAN as in very mature guy and from all indications he's not a play boy. But why he pulled that stunt at the last minute was what got me upset and worried.

I'm thinking whether to download all he did to him and how I see it or just block him.

I don't want to appear wicked or rude but my interest is no longer there.

Una dey appreciate the good ones?

4 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 3:00pm On Nov 18, 2020
ford101:
you can't give what you truly don't have.the man doesn't have money.
You are right. then I was broke and I told her. then she started giving attitude and I was having some issues so I had to withdrew

2 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Raalsalghul: 3:00pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Matter don cast!

Pocohantas was right all along. cheesy

9 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by coolsegun2002: 3:00pm On Nov 18, 2020
harmony75:
why will anyone ask me if I have eaten? I pity this generation o � what a very dumb question to ask, have you eaten?!?! it's just like saying have I had my bath? is only a dummy that could ask such question so unnecessary � and irritating.if you don't know what to say when you call friends or someone don't waste your time naw you asked the silly question and if no will you buy the food for them?


Have u eaten is normal line in Nigeria dating world...
it’s like.....how are you...infact women use it more ....

... it’s not an opportunity to say u are hungry so that the person can come and buy u food....
If u respond u have not eaten for 3 consecutive days...a guy will feel like u are codedly trying to runs him...

5 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 3:01pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:


Just let me be.
That's why I said it's typical if most nairaland guys to always assume someone wants to beg them for favor.
Guy the film when she act now make me fear Igbo babe
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Daguccizgreat(m): 3:01pm On Nov 18, 2020
pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Very reasonable comment you have made.

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (33) (Reply)

My Mother Inlaw Wants To Bath With Me / The Birth Of Our Baby Girl Realtime Updates / Well, She Called Off Our Wedding.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 88
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.