Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 3:20pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Mcslize:
Friendship is two ways thing. When you noticed he wasn't chatting you up, did you take it by yourself to chat him up? Did you bother to find out if he could have been passing through?
Most ladies are guilty of this. They will never check up on guys if they don't check up on them.
My verdict: most ladies hardly check up on a guy except they have gotten intimate. But before the intimacy, it is only the guy that usually do the check up all the time which is bad.
Friendship is two dimensional. Have you taken time to check up on those on your WhatsApp list to find out what's going on in their lives?
Reach out to people from time to time if you discover that they have not been checking up on you. You might not know what they are passing through that period.
Reach out to someone and not always have the habit of waiting for someone to check up on you first. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Sixfeetbelle: 3:21pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Liposure: Both of you are at fault. You should have told him you were fasting. He on the other hand should have stopped pestering you with his constant food questions She isn't wrong. Even if she told him her hunger was due to being broke, do you think he would have offered to send her anything? Nigga made a wrong assumption and fled. Depicts the kind of person he is. 1 Like |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by jeff1607(m): 3:21pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
mmadu4: i always tell guys if you want to marry or date let it be a girl who is self-sufficient because a girl will never date you if you are dirt poor and broke. I'm happy men have wise up now Preferablya lady with class and sense then add better upbringing 3 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by frankson1(m): 3:21pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
coolsegun2002: Did any one see where the OP said “I naturally began to feel relaxed against my wish”
Lol......Women...they will always look for a way to make it look like U forced them....
Somehow ....she’s shocked the guy was uninterested becos she’s not financial okay at the moment...
Is that a normal script from a woman’s playbook??.......now its shocking them...
She came out here to tell lies because the guy didn't respond the way she wanted. You are one of the few who read in-between the lines. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 3:21pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Ademoore07: You can aswell contact the webster dictionary for the connotative and denotative meaning of the word "Man". Oga no vex o 1 Like
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Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Dearlord(m): 3:21pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
This is what I tell people mostly about relationships, if you like somebody tell him that you like am , stop beating about and writing long epistle to suit you because loving living your life has no formulas.
I suggest you tell him that you are no longer interested in any shit you both most have started than to find useless excuses or blocking him. |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by sammysmiles(m): 3:22pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1:
Poco bia, I'm not guilty of anything you spotted up there. I already explained I don't like letting people know when I'm fasting that was why I kept it that way and expected him to stop asking the first time I didn't give tangible reasons and didn't request from him either.
Ok, why did he keep asking without offering anything? That alone in itself is annoying but I didn't count it. Yet he kept asking, which was why I decided to play him.
I don't know the angle you're viewing this from but let me tell you, it's not what you think.
Gracias. If you don't want him to know you are fasting, what's the need of telling him you haven't eaten? 7 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:23pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1:
Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!
Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...
I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!! ... Stop manipulating the young man. Allow him to defend himself here. You brought it here. 11 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by crackhaus: 3:23pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Michdaf: If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed Ohh she even told you she doesn't have much, and she's here claiming she didn't act like she needed a favour... Lmao Una nor go kill me for this obodo NL ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) ![](https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/rofl.gif) 19 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Sixfeetbelle: 3:23pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Splitmind: You think we are stupid abi.
I have not eaten is a code word for women to stylishly display their begging characteristics that's why he's avoiding you so you don't drain him dry treating audio hunger.
Concerning your first paragraph lots of men are through with women's bullshit but they won't tell you in real life because women have a tendency to attack and spread negative rumours about people who don't fit their ideologies.
Men would rather stick to talking about these things online than risk job loss, loss of friends or even physical attacks because one upset woman didn't like hearing that women these days are entitled and lazy when it comes to relationships. There's a mistake in your analysis though. Why couldn't he wait for her to ask him for feeding money before ghosting her if she truly was into begging? |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by SupBruh: 3:24pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1: Long post. Please bear with me.
This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.
Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.
Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.
Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.
Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?
I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.
I bow to men and the way they reason o.
What in God's green Earth is making you feel so entitled?! You said you were 'Testing' him but you're coming off as one pained side chick.. Mind you, stop taking advice from these Nairaland wannabe feminists.. You see, they act like they are liberating women on this forum but matter of factly, they'll go home and act all submissive to their husbands. Some are even products of domestic abuse.. At the end of the day, you will be the one to decide whether or not you want to stick around that dude.. You will find someone who is perfect for you, so will he.. Don't come here with your half baked tale. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by unimagin: 3:25pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Op So first day u were fasting, second day u were fasting and third day u were fasting, u be Moses? No.1 You're a very BIG lier by telling us u intentionally was telling him you've not eaten for more than 3 days straight. No.2 You were trying to be smart with the guy but fortunately my niggar was far smarter than you. No.3 Tell us the truth to shame the devil(pls shame him at least for nairaland). If the guy had offered to send you money for food so as to supposedly prove to you that he cares as you had wanted, wouldn't you take the money? 3 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 3:26pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Sixfeetbelle:
She isn't wrong. Even if she told him her hunger was due to being broke, do you think he would have offered to send her anything?
Nigga made a wrong assumption and fled. Depicts the kind of person he is. He owes her nothing, you guys need to stop your 'entitlement mentality'. Kílódé gan! 12 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by faithfull18(f): 3:26pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Ajascolove: Stay there and be giving excuse till you will start going to mountains for prayer. Why are you doing three days fasting? So, people can't fast in peace again ![](/faces/huh.png) |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by BlueAir: 3:26pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) U shouldn't be too liberal with ur money with most of naija women.. from her own financial shhit my "girlfriend" is just wading in her family palava.. and they ain't no small petty 2k Bodyodour: he asked you for 3 days whether you have eaten and you said NO. Any Nigerian guy will cut-off any connection because its now an indirect way of collecting money. Check it nah. Ask most Nigerian girls how she is doing she will tell you she is not fine.Ask her why she will tell you money is her problem . |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by BlueAir: 3:26pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Bodyodour: he asked you for 3 days whether you have eaten and you said NO. Any Nigerian guy will cut-off any connection because its now an indirect way of collecting money. Check it nah. Ask most Nigerian girls how she is doing she will tell you she is not fine.Ask her why she will tell you money is her problem . |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 3:26pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
pocohantas:
Telling someone you haven’t eaten for 3 good days without giving any reason is enough to put the person off. I am a lady and I tell you, I would be put off!
Guys pull these tests sometimes and it annoys me. Don’t test me, I will fail. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) your very smart and intelligent..why test someone in the first place ? just be real simple ! 2 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by BlueAir: 3:27pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) Dont mind them. Joke with them with ur money at u own peril. The shhit I dey go through from been gentle and liberal nowadays omooba969:
He owes her nothing, you guys need to stop your 'entitlement mentality'.
Kílódé gan! 1 Like |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by HoluGraze: 3:27pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1:
Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please! Then why didn't you ask him why he stopped instead of putting up attitudes? You should have come out and clear his doubt if at all he is mistaken you for who you are. |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by kalufelix(m): 3:27pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
E-shock-you-say-manipulation-withered-before-it-could-germinate...e-shock-you-say-the-guy-no-play-to-your-gallery ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) ...e-shock-you-say-him-no-ask-you-to-send-acct-number...nne-this-thing-really-shock-you....e-shock-you-say-your-sexuality-has-become-inconsequential ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) ....nne-this-is-2021...change-your-game! 10 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 3:28pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Michdaf: Throw it open by bringing it here. what happened to your before hasn't taught a lesson. Sometimes I wonder if you are being paid to do this. Ok, so after you have finished tarnishing my image, you will now come and do what. And you know am regular here. I was expecting more from you, but this is childish Tarnish your image? Who knew who I was talking about until you showed up? You gave yourself away and it breaks my heart. Ok... What Happened to me before. I stole? Or slept with anyone here? Then let that fellow come and say it. I'm a free person and have nothing to hide so don't know what you're talking about. If you don't like my online personality, simply maintain your lane. What will be will be. I'm so disappointed you came showing up. I'm sorry though but I needed some advice and never intended to drag you out, my dear. 1 Like |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Rutheby(f): 3:29pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Michdaf: My is just so annoying when people misunderstand you In your next relationship, 'have you eaten?' shouldn't be a question you should always ask. Be cautious on how you care for people. 1 Like |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by frankson1(m): 3:30pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Michdaf: My is just so annoying when people misunderstand you It is a good thing you didn't have at that time to give because she would have sucked you dry. She's just bitter. You can as well create your on thread and explain everything let people see who she truly is. That is, if you still want to explain o 2 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 3:30pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
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Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by brain54(m): 3:31pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Durentt: you are not okay, believe me. you are not psychologically normal.
and if I had you as a friend and you did this online, I will erase you from my life completely until you apologise sincerely
what rubbish! lol...this thing done pain you....no go slap op through phone o! |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 3:31pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
enemyofprogress: nenye please stay out of this, I know she is your friend but this is strictly between us, so please stay out of this. I still don’t understand why your friend would bring our issue before the whole world ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) ok sir |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by naijadrivablog: 3:31pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
pocohantas: You are overthinking things.
How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?
The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.
While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.
It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...
See why I like gals wey de reason. @bolded, or asks the lady to come to his house? Won't she think it is about SEX? 12 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Mcslize: 3:31pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
Michdaf: If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed Bro don't stress yourself. I asked her the same question. Why didn't she feel the need to check up on you when she discovered that you weren't reaching out to her any more? Most times it is unwanted ego that makes most ladies never to check up on those on their WhatsApp list. Imagine having some on your list for a whole year they will never say hi nor ask how you are faring except you take it by yourself to chat them up. That attitude is quite bad of some persons. You were passing through alot that period, a wise lady will pick up her phone and call you but heck no, relationship this days is filled with so much ego. I will not call him. I will not chat him up if he don't chat me up. But they forget that one person can't sustain a relationship or friendship. As a lady she supposed to check up on you that period she discovered you weren't checking up on her. If she truly values you, that's what any wise lady is supposed to do. 11 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Sixfeetbelle: 3:32pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
rawfact:
pocohantas gave you a very matured response so quit arguing with her. Meanwhile, I think you and that guy should relax on your suspicion on each other because it would choke whatever friendship/relationship both of you are aspiring.
You seem to be a very simple lady, that is not so experienced in wiles/deceit but the guy seems to be barricaded with philosophies to protect his hard-earned money (hopefully he's got such) from been "stolen" by ladies. You can't really blame him. Times are tough for most people (male and female alike) and sometimes affect both thinking and actions.
But it is very obvious that you want a real relationship with him by narrating it here on Nairaland, knowing he is a discrete member. So don't feel embarrassed by his condescending response ( "na wa o" ) or his actions (abandonment). Simply laugh them off and consciously make subsequent moments with him fun-filled, cheering him up and brightening his day with lots of joke/laughter. You would also enjoy the merry moments because he would be forced to reciprocate. Moreover, he could start sending some money to your bank account without you ever asking him, simply because you are gaining a soft spot in his heart that is overriding all "barricading philosophies". ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) Instead of all these patronising words, why don't you admit the guy is an opportunist and save us all a few brain cells. Thank you. 1 Like |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 3:32pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1:
Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!
Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...
I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!! See, I don't want us to drag this here, pick my calls. you didn't offend me and am not angry with you. you didn't know what I was going through then and I suppose to have told you. My ex arrest me and took to court. I didn't tell all this. And unlike what you think I was ashamed of myself not meeting up with your need then. So don't let us spoil what looks like what is damaged already. Please pick my call or reply my message on WhatsApp 3 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by frankson1(m): 3:33pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1:
Tarnish your image? Who knew who I was talking about until you showed up? You gave yourself away and it breaks my heart.
Ok... What Happened to me before. I stole? Or slept with anyone here? Then let that fellow come and say it. I'm a free person and have nothing to hide so don't know what you're talking about. If you don't like my online personality, simply maintain your lane. What will be will be.
I'm so disappointed you came showing up. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
I'm sorry though but I needed some advice and never intended to drag you out, my dear.
You should be more disappointed in yourself for bringing it here in the first place knowing fully well that he's on this forum. It must have been difficult for him to remain silent after reading all your lies. 15 Likes |
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 3:33pm On Nov 18, 2020 |
CalliDora1:
Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!
Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...
I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!! See, I don't want us to drag this here, pick my calls. you didn't offend me and am not angry with you. you didn't know what I was going through then and I suppose to have told you. My ex arrest me and took to court. I didn't tell all this. And unlike what you think I was ashamed of myself not meeting up with your need then. So don't let us spoil what looks like what is damaged already. Please pick my call or reply my message on WhatsApp |