Mcslize:


Friendship is two ways thing. When you noticed he wasn't chatting you up, did you take it by yourself to chat him up? Did you bother to find out if he could have been passing through?

Most ladies are guilty of this. They will never check up on guys if they don't check up on them.

My verdict: most ladies hardly check up on a guy except they have gotten intimate. But before the intimacy, it is only the guy that usually do the check up all the time which is bad.

Friendship is two dimensional. Have you taken time to check up on those on your WhatsApp list to find out what's going on in their lives?

Reach out to people from time to time if you discover that they have not been checking up on you. You might not know what they are passing through that period.

Reach out to someone and not always have the habit of waiting for someone to check up on you first.

Liposure:
Both of you are at fault. You should have told him you were fasting. He on the other hand should have stopped pestering you with his constant food questions

mmadu4:
i always tell guys if you want to marry or date let it be a girl who is self-sufficient because a girl will never date you if you are dirt poor and broke. I'm happy men have wise up now

coolsegun2002:
Did any one see where the OP said “I naturally began to feel relaxed against my wish”

Lol......Women...they will always look for a way to make it look like U forced them....


Somehow ....she’s shocked the guy was uninterested becos she’s not financial okay at the moment...

Is that a normal script from a woman’s playbook??.......now its shocking them...

Ademoore07:
You can aswell contact the webster dictionary for the connotative and denotative meaning of the word "Man".

CalliDora1:


Poco bia, I'm not guilty of anything you spotted up there. I already explained I don't like letting people know when I'm fasting that was why I kept it that way and expected him to stop asking the first time I didn't give tangible reasons and didn't request from him either.

Ok, why did he keep asking without offering anything? That alone in itself is annoying but I didn't count it. Yet he kept asking, which was why I decided to play him.

I don't know the angle you're viewing this from but let me tell you, it's not what you think.

Gracias.

CalliDora1:


Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!

Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...

I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!!

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Splitmind:
You think we are stupid abi.

I have not eaten is a code word for women to stylishly display their begging characteristics that's why he's avoiding you so you don't drain him dry treating audio hunger.

Concerning your first paragraph lots of men are through with women's bullshit but they won't tell you in real life because women have a tendency to attack and spread negative rumours about people who don't fit their ideologies.

Men would rather stick to talking about these things online than risk job loss, loss of friends or even physical attacks because one upset woman didn't like hearing that women these days are entitled and lazy when it comes to relationships.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Sixfeetbelle:


She isn't wrong. Even if she told him her hunger was due to being broke, do you think he would have offered to send her anything?

Nigga made a wrong assumption and fled. Depicts the kind of person he is.

Ajascolove:
Stay there and be giving excuse till you will start going to mountains for prayer. Why are you doing three days fasting?

Bodyodour:
he asked you for 3 days whether you have eaten and you said NO. Any Nigerian guy will cut-off any connection because its now an indirect way of collecting money. Check it nah. Ask most Nigerian girls how she is doing she will tell you she is not fine.Ask her why she will tell you money is her problem .

Bodyodour:
he asked you for 3 days whether you have eaten and you said NO. Any Nigerian guy will cut-off any connection because its now an indirect way of collecting money. Check it nah. Ask most Nigerian girls how she is doing she will tell you she is not fine.Ask her why she will tell you money is her problem .

pocohantas:


Telling someone you haven’t eaten for 3 good days without giving any reason is enough to put the person off. I am a lady and I tell you, I would be put off!

Guys pull these tests sometimes and it annoys me. Don’t test me, I will fail.

omooba969:


He owes her nothing, you guys need to stop your 'entitlement mentality'.

Kílódé gan!

CalliDora1:



Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please!

Michdaf:
Throw it open by bringing it here. what happened to your before hasn't taught a lesson. Sometimes I wonder if you are being paid to do this.
Ok, so after you have finished tarnishing my image, you will now come and do what. And you know am regular here. I was expecting more from you, but this is childish

Michdaf:
My is just so annoying when people misunderstand you

Michdaf:
My is just so annoying when people misunderstand you

Durentt:
you are not okay, believe me. you are not psychologically normal.

and if I had you as a friend and you did this online, I will erase you from my life completely until you apologise sincerely


what rubbish!

enemyofprogress:
nenye please stay out of this, I know she is your friend but this is strictly between us, so please stay out of this. I still don’t understand why your friend would bring our issue before the whole world

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

rawfact:


pocohantas gave you a very matured response so quit arguing with her. Meanwhile, I think you and that guy should relax on your suspicion on each other because it would choke whatever friendship/relationship both of you are aspiring.

You seem to be a very simple lady, that is not so experienced in wiles/deceit but the guy seems to be barricaded with philosophies to protect his hard-earned money (hopefully he's got such) from been "stolen" by ladies. You can't really blame him. Times are tough for most people (male and female alike) and sometimes affect both thinking and actions.

But it is very obvious that you want a real relationship with him by narrating it here on Nairaland, knowing he is a discrete member. So don't feel embarrassed by his condescending response ( "na wa o" ) or his actions (abandonment). Simply laugh them off and consciously make subsequent moments with him fun-filled, cheering him up and brightening his day with lots of joke/laughter. You would also enjoy the merry moments because he would be forced to reciprocate. Moreover, he could start sending some money to your bank account without you ever asking him, simply because you are gaining a soft spot in his heart that is overriding all "barricading philosophies".

CalliDora1:


Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!

Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...

I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!!

CalliDora1:


Tarnish your image? Who knew who I was talking about until you showed up? You gave yourself away and it breaks my heart.

Ok... What Happened to me before. I stole? Or slept with anyone here? Then let that fellow come and say it. I'm a free person and have nothing to hide so don't know what you're talking about. If you don't like my online personality, simply maintain your lane. What will be will be.

I'm so disappointed you came showing up.

I'm sorry though but I needed some advice and never intended to drag you out, my dear.

CalliDora1:


Dafe can you just shut up! Who was giving you attitude? You stopped calling and got me putting two and two together which prompted me to test you by continually telling you Ive not eaten and now you turn to say I posed hungry?? You better Watch it.!

Did I ever ask you for anything for once? Say the truth...

I didn't want you here reason I didn't mention you. Just be a man and leave here now!!!