pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

pocohantas:


It is not about your kind of person, it is stereotyping. I am sure you are guilty of a few- I have spotted one sef. That is the same way he formed his own notion. You kept saying you haven’t eaten and it triggered his alarm...

Ishilove:

He should have waited until she asked for the urgent 2k before running off, and not before. I don't see the blame here on her part

Michdaf:
Sincerely, I messed up there. I don't know what else to tell her for her to see that I truly sorry for writing that comment.

CalliDora1:


Poco bia, I'm not guilty of anything you spotted up there. I already explained I don't like letting people know when I'm fasting that was why I kept it that way and expected him to stop asking the first time I didn't give tangible reasons and didn't request from him either.

Ok, why did he keep asking without offering anything? That alone in itself is annoying but I didn't count it. Yet he kept asking, which was why I decided to play him.

I don't know the angle you're viewing this from but let me tell you, it's not what you think.

Gracias.

CalliDora1:


Poco bia, I'm not guilty of anything you spotted up there. I already explained I don't like letting people know when I'm fasting that was why I kept it that way and expected him to stop asking the first time I didn't give tangible reasons and didn't request from him either.

Ok, why did he keep asking without offering anything? That alone in itself is annoying but I didn't count it. Yet he kept asking, which was why I decided to play him.

I don't know the angle you're viewing this from but let me tell you, it's not what you think.

Gracias.

omooba969:


Forget about him, move on already - you deserve better.

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

luminouz:


You dey add petrol to the fire na

omooba969:


She deserves better walahi coz the foundation is faulty already - surely when the sex party is over, guy-man will bounce.

CalliDora1 can take this word to the bank.

Peace ✌️

lefulefu:
where i will fault this guy u met online is since he has been asking u out for a relationship then he ought to have been concerned to why u haven't been eating and if it was lack of appetite then he would suggest u go to the hospital.the ghosting wasn't cool. but if u were expecting him to send money to u then u should know not everybody is financially bouyant. nigeria right now has economical issues any many nigerians cant even afford one meal in a day not to mention two meals so u cant just expect him to send u cash like that.As far as he didnt try to scam or bug u for money any bashing he receives here is just an overkill.sometime ago a girl i knew on facebook told me her iphone got stolen and contribution that she was holding in her place of work got missing.that the ppl who have paid the contribution money were threatening her with the police and that also she needs a new iphone since her old iphone got stolen.that in all the total money she needs would be around 350k.that she will be grateful if i could help her and send her the money.i told her straight off i didn't have that kind of money and that the money i have in my account i budget it for rent,food ,light and other essentials.i don't need to prove i am nice and caring by dishing out money to random girls i see on social media. so this ur guy bleeped up by not asking what was the problem since he was asking u out for a relationship. but again if u look at it another angle he might not totally be at fault since he was maybe running away from potential billing. Anyway if u not too comfortable talking to him u can always block him.

Michdaf:
I don't normally do this before but I am forced to because op and most commenting really misunderstood me. Yeah am the guy. I had to create this new account to hid my identity. Am Christian and everything I said and did I did with good intentions. Am not the type of guys that will blank or reject her because of money. I really wanted to her then. Infact one the reason I back peddled was because I couldn't assist then. She pose to me then like she was truly in need and I felt ashamed of myself. Not knowing she was lying. She could tell from my intentions then that I meant well. I was going through a lot of this then. Some of which the op knew about. I had this issue that landed me in court. Though she didn't know about the court issue. Am this type of person if am going through a ruff part, I don't like disturbing others. I keep things to myself. We just knew each other, and I cannot be sharing all this with you. If the op notice then, I wasn't if commenting on nl then. I was reserve in everything. Since

omooba969:


I'm struggling to get your drift.

You showed your displeasure at the way the nigga disappeared it at the smell of billing.

You also made an argument for him not being at fault 'since he prolly ran away from potential billing'.

luminouz:


Lemme guess, the better she deserves is YOU?

BAD GUY!!!

omooba969:




You also made an argument for him not being at fault 'since he prolly ran away from potential billing'.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Ishilove:

Okay, understood.

Switch to the below when responding to his messages-

aiit
kk
kkk
Cool
Lol
Tenks

Etc. I believe that is diplomatic and polite enough. Hin body go tell am.

lefulefu:
where i will fault this guy u met online is since he has been asking u out for a relationship then he ought to have been concerned to why u havent been eating and if it was lack of appetite then he would suggest u go to the hospital.the ghosting wasnt cool.but if u were expecting him to send money to u then u should know not everybody is financially bouyant.nigeria right now has economical issues any many nigerians cant even afford one meal in a day not to mention two meals so u cant just expect him to send u cash like that.As far as he didnt try to scam or bug u for money any bashing he recieves here is just an overkill.sometime ago a girl i knew on facebook told me her iphone got stolen and contribution that she was holding in her place of work got missing.that the ppl who have paid the contribution money were threatning her with the police and that also she needs a new iphone since her old iphone got stolen.that in all the total money she needs would be around 350k.that she will be greatful if i could help her and send her the money.i told her straight off i didnt have that kind of money and that the money i have in my account i budget it for rent,food ,light and other essentials.i dont need to prove i am nice and caring by dishing out money to random girls i see on social media.so this ur guy bleeped up by not asking what was the problem since he was asking u out for a relationship.but again if u look at it another angle he might not totally be at fault since he was maybe running away from potential billing.Anyway if u not too comfortable talking to him u can always block him.

CalliDora1:


Ok. But I wasn't expecting him to send me money. On one occasion he said he'll send me money I told him not to bother but he insisted that he'll try and send me something so I kept quiet but he didn't send it and I never asked him. Even when he tried to explain that something came up along the line and he used the money, I didn't utter a word of disappointment cos I was in prayer mode that period. I don't just want to be saying everything here but the way everyone is sounding as if it's about the money is just annoying.

Ishilove:
So if you were truly in need of help that is how he would have abandoned you. Please block him. We don't need useless people in our lives

lefulefu:
u move with the tide.if u ask someone why he or she hasnt eaten and he or she tells u that its lack of appetite.suggest to the person to go to the hospital but if the person says its lack of money just say God will provide if u dont feel comfortable sending the money.i am saying this based on the fact that op said the guy he loved her and wanted a relationship.

omooba969:


Chai Chief Lumi - calm down abeg.

I don't need a controversial woman in my life - I detest drama coz I'm simple man with simple needs.

luminouz:


Lemme guess, the better she deserves is YOU?

BAD GUY!!!

CalliDora1:


Story. But you keep stalking controversial girls? That's what you'll end up with.

I'm here to please anyone. If you don't like my personality, buzz off!

CalliDora1:


This is not a matter of being presumtious. it is very glaring he's a fair wheather friend and I think I'm done.

CalliDora1:


Ok. But I wasn't expecting him to send me money. On one occasion he said he'll send me money I told him not to bother but he insisted that he'll try and send me something so I kept quiet but he didn't send it and I never asked him. Even when he tried to explain that something came up along the line and he used the money, I didn't utter a word of disappointment cos I was in prayer mode that period. I don't just want to be saying everything here but the way everyone is sounding as if it's about the money is just annoying.

greggng:


That person is a gold digger ...you will soon find a real man ...unfortunately most real men are still struggling

ume1000:
shut up its about the money

lefulefu:
ok it was the money he was unable to send that made him feel ashamed and ran away.dont know why some dudes like putting themselves into unnecessary pressure.if u a girl asks for money and u dont have tell her u dont have

CalliDora1:


Lol.. which one be your own now? Why are you more pained that the man in question? Chilax before I do you mouth baptism.