post=98240187:
Relationship/Marriage is a talking thing,

#TalkToHerAboutIt

oga happy new year. Please check my thread I believe you can help me out on what to do sir.

Maybe she lied about her age

luminouz:


Shopping!! Shopping and shoppping!!!


Restaurants!! Food!! Dates!!!

Bla bla bla'...


This thread don taya me


I'm off

Guy, calm the fuvk down.

The wify don forget how to be a babe. She needs a refreshment of the memory.

Holy ghost fire,every siege of olddy olddy die by fire ijn. Aduraaaaaaaaa!

TheWalkingMind:
Marry slim women. Una no go gree.

some slim women become fatter than some plum ladies ..haven't notice yourself ?I have seen a lot .Not everyone is lucky with slim figures..appreciate what you have .

See person husband dey here dey spill trash untop marriage matter wey him suppose discuss with the wife alone and they solve the matter together

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated. She will be 35 in few months, and we had only two kids together, so why she suddenly start looking older than that age is what I don’t know. I’ve seen ladies and colleagues of her age group still killing and rocking it, and going with the trend of fashion and lifestyles, No my wife won’t try to take fashion serious anymore. She will just wear any random cloths, not minding the occasion. You all won’t understand me on this, as In she use to be in line with all these before we had our first child. She’s not going through any stress, we living okay enough to be well fed.
So what’s happening?? Men, do you also feel like this? I mean those married for 5-10yrs and over.



A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

How are you treating her? I have realized that in relationships two people might be looking at the same situation differently...and most times men are clueless about how women feel. Your wife might be emotionally stressed and here you are thinking she should be happy/not stressed because there is food in the house. That's because as a man that's what you think is important.

If she was a fashionable youthful woman before, the problem lies with your home. I bet you this woman is stressed, overworked with children, and not really happy that's why she neglecting herself. Most Nigerian men don't date their wives, they don't help at home, they aren't romantic, and they aren't friends with their wives. They leave that for girlfriends or side chicks. All the beautiful clothes, body ointments, perfumes, etc goes to some woman outside. The best of what they have goes outside, but they think the best is the house, kids, and food they provide the wife. Many do not really know their wives.

35 is very young and most women want to look beautiful. Talk to your wife...talk to yourself.

omoharry:
some slim women become fatter than some plum ladies ..haven't notice yourself ?I have seen a lot .Not everyone is lucky with slim figures..appreciate what you have .

You're right.


But it's different when you have eyes for them

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jchioma:
I will.advise you look at it from a positive point of view. It's called the vicissitudes of life. She has had to bear and surmounted several challenges and changes to her life, family and society; Accept her and do everything you can to cheer her up. Be the man she met and loved.
.
At 35 yrs, she still a youth in the Nigerian context, where no one wants to be regarded as "old", forgetting that everyone will grow old someday and die if they are even lucky to live long

You've said it all

You presumed she's comfortable,what if she is not. Talk to her. I am not married but I feel communication is key. She might be going through something she doesn't talk about.

Amiteye:
what has menopause got to do with staying beautiful and fashionable what has age got to do with it when you are less than 50. Ned STARK. No wonder them cut your head, its useless

Guy, just talk am say you dey straff woman wey senior you while your papa Ned Nwoko dey straff teenage babes. You are just forcing yourself to enjoy your cross.

We4all:


His wife is menopausal but hotter than your 20 year old girlfriend.

It seems all the ladies in their twenties around you both related and unrelated are either overwhelmingly ugly or shapeless.

Question no.1: How old are your 2 children
Question no.2: Does your wife have someone assisting her with the household chores?
It's enough to look old if you don't have a maid to assist you. I'm not of the opinion of my husband will assist. Even at that, u still do 90% of the chores. When u employ a maid, he / she can clean the house in the morning while you take ur bath; he/she prepares the ingredients for breakfast while you start to do ur makeup, search for what you will wear to work, gist with your husband while he's still on bed; he/she goes to prepare the children for school while you enter the kitchen and do the cooking. When food is ready, the children must have gotten ready for breakfast, you as a woman is ready for work too, husband man must have taken his bath while food was on fire and viola, everyone is ready for breakfast. After eating, everyone leaves the house without being stressed. The maid clears the dishes, cleans the house, prepares for lunch which most times is swallow and soup dey freezer already. The maid rest while everyone is away and later prepares ingredients for dinner. Wifey comes home after work and cooks dinner without stress.
Now how will ur wife be stressed from this typical scenario. Don't come and tell me my mother catered for 6 children singlehandedly, why can't she do same. My brother, two women coming from different backgrounds and different upbringing can't be same. Employ a maid. If you have the resources, you can employ more than one and you will see your wife miraculously turning young and sexy overnight.

Na wa for NL comments, anyway op, most men that marries women 2 years younger than them always face this problem. Women tend to look older than their men so its always advisable to have 5 - 9 years age difference between you. Now that you are in this situation, it is not too late something can still be done by passing comments jokingly - e.g na wa o see as you de dress like old woman, abeg go wear something better etc.

I wont advise you sit her down to talk about this because women ALWAYS misinterpret messages. She will conclude that you no longer wants her and you will make her feel so bad. Make comments and joke about it but the message will be passed.

Womanizer:


You fúcked the woman for 11 years and still expect her to look the same?

If you drive a car for 11 years will it still be the same as the day you bought it?

Thank you

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated. She will be 35 in few months, and we had only two kids together, so why she suddenly start looking older than that age is what I don’t know. I’ve seen ladies and colleagues of her age group still killing and rocking it, and going with the trend of fashion and lifestyles, No my wife won’t try to take fashion serious anymore. She will just wear any random cloths, not minding the occasion. You all won’t understand me on this, as In she use to be in line with all these before we had our first child. She’s not going through any stress, we living okay enough to be well fed.
So what’s happening?? Men, do you also feel like this? I mean those married for 5-10yrs and over.



A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

Sounds like a marriage without HEALTHY communication.

You think just because the family is well fed and comfortable, she isn't going through stress?

Open up to her GENUINELY and with LOTS of empathy about your concerns and observations, WITHOUT the INSENSITIVE attitude you exhibited in your post here, and you would be shocked with the inner battles she may be fighting all ALONE.

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated.

11 year is a long time to be married man CONGRATULATIONS.

Please please don't listen to half the things this people are telling you.
Raising Children and taking care of a home is not easy at all. It's very easy to be overwhelmed and lose yourself.

Dont❗Compare your wife to other women especially to her face it's an extremely toxic behavior and its going to make her feel like she'll never be enough for you

Don't ❗Tell her she isn't dressing properly or tell her she is looking older too or less beautiful you'll make her very insecure

Do ✅ Take out a full day to spend with her, drive her down to get her hair and nails done, buy her perfumes (looking good and smelling good has a way of boosting a womans confidence).

You can have a day just the 2 of you , get someone to take care of the children for that day . Just the 2 of you, take her on a date and when she's less defensive, talk to her .
Abeg dont tell her she us looking old and unkempt.
Instead tell it from a place of love, you can say See that the stress of running a house and taking care of the kids is telling on her( which is what is happening). Tell her to take it easy and take care of herself more.

And please a good skin needs maintenance , get her good skincare products. I can link you up with all the things listed above if its neccessary

hashtagged:


It's same it's better to spend on a new product than to waste money trying to revive an expired good

So the wife is now an expired goods, I believe you have a mother even if you're not ripe for marriage, this trend isn't for kids.

Maybe she falsified her age.

Winneygirl:


As dem swear for you that you cannot read with comprehension, you did not see this part: or places you guys could go.

Why don't you go and climb Mount Kilimanjaro and pray about your shortcomings in life?

E pain you die

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated. She will be 35 in few months, and we had only two kids together, so why she suddenly start looking older than that age is what I don’t know. I’ve seen ladies and colleagues of her age group still killing and rocking it, and going with the trend of fashion and lifestyles, No my wife won’t try to take fashion serious anymore. She will just wear any random cloths, not minding the occasion. You all won’t understand me on this, as In she use to be in line with all these before we had our first child. She’s not going through any stress, we living okay enough to be well fed.
So what’s happening?? Men, do you also feel like this? I mean those married for 5-10yrs and over.



A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

Her priorities has changed, she's not drawn to social environment like when she was younger, stop making it a problem (before you justify your cheating on her with it), you're suppose to age together, I wonder why you're in denial of the apparent fact of life.

Hmmmm,My brother woman market nah black market ooo where a lady of 45years will say she's 23years and behaving like 18. It's after marriage that you will see wen! Though not all.....
For this one ,I dey suspect Black market.

If she began day slay u go day complain

that is the problem of marrying a slay Queen. marry a regular girl with good character, they no they bleach like slay queen, them de get normal sent. but slay queen go put 50k perfume and when she want sleep she go baff and no perfume by that time you will be face with sticking bleaching body. be warn after all na you givam belle so she go fat na.

Brotherly, this your situation is the simplest of marital problems. What you simply have to do is, all those sweet/dope/sexy cloth,shoes,pearls and all jewelries you like or admire on other women when you see those in the shop,mall or boutique simply buy them for your wife and I bet you she'll be happy for the gifts and gladly rock em for you. plz do not nag her about her dress sense oo...Just purchase those cloth as gift and at moments you want her to wear em simple put it as a suggestion "honey, that red dress will be nice for this occasion don't you think" ... It's that simple.

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated. She will be 35 in few months, and we had only two kids together, so why she suddenly start looking older than that age is what I don’t know. I’ve seen ladies and colleagues of her age group still killing and rocking it, and going with the trend of fashion and lifestyles, No my wife won’t try to take fashion serious anymore. She will just wear any random cloths, not minding the occasion. You all won’t understand me on this, as In she use to be in line with all these before we had our first child. She’s not going through any stress, we living okay enough to be well fed.
So what’s happening?? Men, do you also feel like this? I mean those married for 5-10yrs and over.



A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated. She will be 35 in few months, and we had only two kids together, so why she suddenly start looking older than that age is what I don’t know. I’ve seen ladies and colleagues of her age group still killing and rocking it, and going with the trend of fashion and lifestyles, No my wife won’t try to take fashion serious anymore. She will just wear any random cloths, not minding the occasion. You all won’t understand me on this, as In she use to be in line with all these before we had our first child. She’s not going through any stress, we living okay enough to be well fed.
So what’s happening?? Men, do you also feel like this? I mean those married for 5-10yrs and over.



A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

So you married her cos of her dress and fashion sense not cos you love her.

Godada:



Have you had a chat about this with her?

Take her on a shopping spree and get her stuffs to spice up her looks.

Enroll her in a gym and exercise with her make we nor hear say gym instructor dey exercise her kitty for you

Somebody like that will not still change till she sees the husband carrying a side chick. I know their kind. Even if he discusses it with her, she will still accuse him of carrying ladies

setobaba:
Good morning,


A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

Getting her a help to reduce the workload on her is one way of solving the problem. Another way is to ensure that the children spend part of their holidays with their grandparents.This will leave her with more time to take care of herself.

If she's the the one doing all the house chores and at the same time working, please find a way of intervening to reduce her stress.

Then you can have the conversation about how you would want her to look more beautiful...

Please note that she cannot be the same again again after having children, you can help her to be the woman you want...

Neddstark:


It seems all the ladies in their twenties around you both related and unrelated are either overwhelmingly ugly or shapeless.

Yes they are because they take after those around you. Reason I ditched them all and went after the 'Lola looking type'. You should do the same.

God bless you for me fa
Op, in a nut shell, make her feel YOUNG abeg, you are the husband. God help you.

Originalsly:
Bro.... listen to yourself.... after 11 years of marriage only a few months ago you noticed your wife has aged.... and is not fashion conscious as before marriage. Is it you?......or she that just returned from the Moon?
Women go through changes after childbirth.... are stressed .... and even more stressed if the husband is not spending a whole lot more time helping out in the home. Were you? With family come responsibilities and maturity. Her priority is family.... you shoild thank goodness she is grounded and not twittering around as a fashionova while neglecting your kids. As the trendy husband... why not clothes shop for her? ... and take her out to flex? Doing this often can lessen her stress.... and slow down her aging process.
But how about you?..... you believe you are still youthful and up to date in fashion? Stop putting down your wife and pulling down your marriage.

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few ....

Do either of these two things:
You both talk to a counsellor or Sit her down and have a chat with her.... PRIVATELY!.
Coming to a forum like this won't help. My opinion.