nope

Good day Nairalanders,

I am 33, a graduate of Economics from University of Ibadan with over 10 years experience in the banking sector as a contract staff, I am currently pursuing MBA(human resources) in one of the state university in south west and also writing professional exam CIPM to switch career to Human Resources since there is no career path in being a bank contract staff.

I am based in Ibadan, a mother of one that need to several bills to pay ranging from house rent to school fees. if you have a job or can recommend me for a job will go a long way. The HR people, potential employers in the house and i am open to legit business idea that can bring in money like a passive income that can help me in sorting my bills. I do not want to go astray and i dont want to feed my little boy with ill-gotten money.

email: realashbobby@gmail.com
Thank you in anticipation.

Good day Nairalanders,

I am 33, a graduate of Economics from University of Ibadan with over 10 years experience in the banking sector as a contract staff, I am currently pursuing MBA(human resources) in one of the state university in south west and also writing professional exam CIPM to switch career to Human Resources since there is no career path in being a bank contract staff.

I am based in Ibadan, a mother of one that need to several bills to pay ranging from house rent to school fees. if you have a job or can recommend me for a job will go a long way. The HR people, potential employers in the house and i am open to legit business idea that can bring in money like a passive income that can help me in sorting my bills. I do not want to go astray and i dont want to feed my little boy with ill-gotten money.

email: realashbobby@gmail.com
Thank you in anticipation.

Dear Familanders,

I am in need of female occupant,to occupy one of the rooms, I stays in a 3 bedroom apartment but 2 toilet and bath.
I am a single mother of one.

Location: Ibadan close Gbagi international market and Nigerian Brewery.

Thanks.

If interested....kindly send me a mail

Nicenancy:

What is eating u up currently?
What is that problem u can't get off your mind? Please share

I am in dire need of accommodation around old ife road ibadan as the place I rented/ staying is no convenient. No water, ceiling had fallen, the door is bad and rain water always flood the sitting room. This has been bothering me for a while now. All effort to get a new place around that axis has been futile. Somebody please help me.

iod69779:
This is one of a series of threads I'll be creating to learn from your experiences and wisdom

I may end my marriage and put myself back out there soon. Emotionally checked out. When you ended your last relationship, how long did it take you before going back on a dating website or making your superman moves on a woman?

As a man, you got back lively almost immediately after the failed marriage, but as a woman especially when kid/s involved. It may take more than 3 years oo. I have been there for over a year now.

[quote author=foreman post=101286276]I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?[/quo
@Op, abeg work on your marriage. Divorce is not an option. A divorcee is a frustrated, aggressive, sad, lonely depressed person irrespective of the gender.

Having a family of your own is the best

YelloweWest:

Type here on nl or Google?

Kindly put the name of the forum here for us to join.

@@Op, kindly find means of reconcile with your wife. Divorce is not easy ooo

I works in a foreign fund desk in a commercial Bank in Nigeria. You can send in pounds through different platform like RIA, WORLDREMIT, SENDWAVE, SMALLWORD etc. and it will be receive in USD in Nigeria and consequently change to naira immediately.

You can send and your loved ones will receive the naira in their account immediately. DM for more details.

Heee!!!why ladies are doing this moving in with guys nowadays?

@op, it seems some parts of you doesnt love the lady.

Talk true and let the devil be ashamed

Ladies: Marry the guy that loves you and not the one you love.

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

abimbola74:

So sorry about your ordeal. It’s obvious your so called husband is not been reasonable here cos I wonder why will a man treat someone that stood by you during your trying times like that. It’s annoying aswear. He is not handling the whole issue well, reasonable conversation would have saved him all this stress buh he rather chooses to forcefully make you bend to his will. It’s so disheartening aswear cos I wonder what he tends to gain with all this. What’s there in coming to Ibadan on weekend basis abi to live in Lagos is a must ni. The father too no try aswear cos as an elderly man I don’t know expect him to be unreasonable. What about his mum? Ask the father straight question that if you were to be his daughter and got treated that way, how will he feel? It’s annoying olohun cos I wonder why people will do what they wouldn’t want for their siblings. God will see you through , be strong . I am with you on this, send a dm if you need someone to talk too.

His mum is nothing to write about as she has left them and she has remarried to 2 different men with four children after he had 3 sons for my father in law. The father has children from 3 other woman aside my mother in-law. Such a dramatic family.

[quote author=abimbola74 post=96518680]
So sorry about your ordeal. It’s obvious your so called husband is not been reasonable here cos I wonder why will a man treat someone that stood by you during your trying times like that. It’s annoying aswear. He is not handling the whole issue well, reasonable conversation would have saved him all this stress buh he rather chooses to forcefully make you bend to his will. It’s so disheartening aswear cos I wonder what he tends to gain with all this. What’s there in coming to Ibadan on weekend basis abi to live in Lagos is a must ni. The father too no try aswear cos as an elderly man I don’t know expect him to be unreasonable. What about his mum? Ask the father straight question that if you were to be his daughter and got treated that way, how will he feel? It’s annoying olohun cos I wonder why people will do what they wouldn’t want for their siblings. God will see you through , be strong . I am with you on this, send a dm if you need someone to talk too. [/q

His mum is nothing to write about as she has left them and she has remarried to 2 different men with four children after he had 3 sons for my father in law

AnonymousRebec:


Madam the way you are doing this thing, you never ready oo. I wish I was with you. We will stay there until he closes work. How will you come to Lagos and just go back like that without even seeing your husband. You have to let him see that you are serious. Please madam put in more effort in making this your marriage work abeg.

He wasn't at work at the time of visit, it's a rotational work, he was off that day and he told me he is not within Lagos that I should go back to where I came from

LadySarah:


You owe nobody any explanation. His chicken will come home to roost.

If you can relocate to where you won't be easily traced better.

You see that degree, you must finish it. God will help you.

I have left the house we stayed together because he has dropped the key with the landlady when he moved stuff out, upon returning my stuff to the house. the landlady gave me a quit notice and I started looking for house and I was able to secure one within 3 weeks.

Isokoboy:


Yea he will... Knowing fully well that she wont .... Lady .... finished your studies.....beg your brother inlaw nd his family....but wait a minute...all tru his stay in lagos...u haven't gone to his haux..

I have gone with a friend to beg his brother but when I got there, immediately I saw him, we went on our knees and I cried my eye out to show remorseful and beg for forgiveness, he called his father/brother and they instructed him to leave the shop for me. I waited for like 90 mins, he never show face again. I don't want to go back to his father because he colluded with his son to humiliated me. I learnt he has moved to a new address.

Isokoboy:


Yea he will... Knowing fully well that she wont .... Lady .... finished your studies.....beg your brother inlaw nd his family....but wait a minute...all tru his stay in lagos...u haven't gone to his haux..

I have gone with a friend to beg his brother but when I got there, immediately I saw him, we went on our knees and I cried my eye out to show remorseful and beg for forgiveness, he called his father/brother and they instructed him to leave the shop for me. I waited for like 90 mins, he never show face again. I don't want to go back to his father because he colluded with his son to humiliated me.

dimexy247:
You arrested your brother-in-law?

Your husband is a foolish man indeed but....you shouldn't have involved his brother in that manner.

Sis, his actions may have been irrational but yours was even worse. Family matters for that matter. You should have at least exercise some patient and try to exhaust all options.

I wouldn't lie to you, if my wife arrested my brother, she's already left the family.

I don't see any salvaging here as I don't see him as someone who can change his mind. To me, seems he's found a new mistress already.

I will advice you don't sign the divorce papers and that's if you are ready to be alone because I suspect he won't rescind his decision but if not,

.....meet him in court

And as for your husband, he will soon meet his waterloo.

I arrested his brother out of frustration, when the brothers packed all stuff, they just send the nanny and my son outside. I borrowed clothes to back my baby. I was putting on a single cloth for like 3 days. I felt humiliated.

VanDerWaalforces:
It's a pity! sorry for all these u've passed through. I can only say it's a phase. It will soon pass. Talk to people who their family respect and see if its possible to settle this matter amicably. But if this does not work, I advised you carefully do whatever that guarantees your happiness. It is well with You.

I ran to the Islamic scholar he respects most to help talk to him and please mediate in between the two families. He called him and he insisted that's what he wants for now.

mariahAngel:
Do you still love him?
Have you both finalized the divorce?

Yes, I love him

No, it hasn't been finalized.

CalliDora1:
Hmm.. this your story is a pathetic one.

Why do men become monsters the moment they feel they have made it a little in life? Same guy that was ready to dwell with you in the hole when he had nothing. Now hes forming the boss.

Well, like someone said, do not sign the papers ( that is if you're still interested in the marriage). Then apply for leave, go to Lagos and have a talk with him. Possibly settle whatever it is with him if he's willing though. Otherwise, let him be but still, don't ever sign the papers. Tie him down and if he tries to marry another, sue him. He's an ingrate and most men are. And that is why I'll never struggle with any idiot.

In the meantime, go on your knees and pray to God to take charge of the situation and touch him.

I have done like you said o, I took some days leave at work and pack my baby and my bag, I don't know his home address but I know his work address in VI, I went to his office and I called but he didn't pick,. Not until when one of his colleagues called him that his wife is here. He csaid he is not on duty that day and not around that I should go back to where I am coming from.
I didn't get back to ibadan until 11pm that day. Till today he never ask how I got home with the baby.

Karleb:
This might be a bit insensitive but I had a laugh when you said he moved your matrimonial bed.

Bed is bed, matrimonial bed is a metaphor.

---

Are you saying you don't want to divorce this man?

---

On a serious note, how can a lady insist on staying in Ibadan while her husband is staying in Lagos.

The degree she's taking about is a part time program, I presume.

It becomes embarrassing and shameful for a man who has a house in Lagos to always go to Ibadan every now and then to meet his wife. Why can't the wife be the one going over to his place? Men have ego.

It's not as if Lagos to Ibadan is even that far.


Not in any way saying the man is right though.

How can I say I am not moving with him, he should allow me to take some time

[quote author=Karleb post=96486147]

We are all guilty of this.

In most cases, the person narrating the story is always right.

Even if the man tells his story, he'll still paint her as the devil just like the woman just did. [/quot

Hmmm, I am sure if you hear his own side of the story, you may feel like shooting me. He is so good in doing that

Ghengiskhan:

Which type of marriage?
When are you likely to finish your degree ?
Can you get transferred to Lagos from work ?
How old is your kid ?
Are you still in love with your husband?
Do you still want the marriage ?
Answers to these questions will determine my advice

Court wedding
I am almost done
He is 17 months now
Yes
Yes.

I don't want a scattered home.

GboyegaD:
It is good you have a job and understand the need to process a transfer. How far gone are you with your program? How convenient will it be to complete it should you get a transfer to Lagos? Try all you can to have a one - to - one discussion with him. If he's not willing to understand that there's a process for your transfer while you both figure how to complete your program, please, let him be.

As for his family, let them be. If they want your family to survive, they will mediate positively.

Thank you , I am almost done with the programme just to defend the project and get the
cert.