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When your nine-year-old shouts, “I hate you,” it is a difficult statement for any parent to hear. Parents generally feel hurt, rejected and angry. But there is another element that complicates a parent’s reaction to the child’s behavior. Each parent brings his own unique personal experiences from childhood to the parent /child interaction. In this case, if the parent did not feel loved and experienced a great deal of rejection in childhood, he may feel terribly hurt and can easily overreact to the child. The parent can unconsciously experience the child as a disappointing parent or sibling who made him feel unloved and may respond with rage. Similarly, the parent who was never listened to at home can re-experience tremendous frustration and anger when his child ignores him. He might see his child as his unyielding parent and explode. The more aware a parent is of these reactions, the more he will be able to respond more positively to the child.

Parents generally try to make up for any hurts that they had as children, by behaving differently than their own parents. They can become very upset when they see themselves acting in the same way. It is crucial to be aware that parents tend to gravitate to the way they were raised when they are stressed. For instance, if your parents spanked you for transgressions, you may repeat this method of handling issues with your child, even if you are opposed to harsh discipline. It is helpful for a parent to bring this process to the surface so he will feel more in control of his responses.

Another factor from the past, that has a powerful effect on the parenting experience, is that each parent in the couple had unique childhood experiences. These differences often cause many ongoing conflicts for parents. For instance, if one parent was raised in an authoritarian home and the other never experienced any limits at all, they may argue relentlessly over whether or not to buy their child a toy. It is important for each parent to analyze his or her reactions and pinpoint issues from the past. The more conscious these issues become, the more smoothly the couple can work together. Here are some steps you can take to build your self-awareness.

Identify your emotion. When your child will not clean up his room and you are engaged in a battle with him, try to pinpoint your emotion. Are you feeling angry, sad, or frustrated?READ MORE.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/parents-generally-feel-hurt-rejected-and-angry-when-there-kids-misbehave/

parenting
Children Are Carbon Copies Of Their Parents.
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Children are carbon copies of their parents and are also the product of their environment, education and experience. The way parents relate to their children goes a long way to determining what the children become and the way they interact and relate with other people they come across.

Researchers and expert in parenting deduced from a research carried out on children’s behaviors some ways, the parent should relate with their children. They also found out that over 50% of children behave the way they do because of how they were brought up by their parents.
http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/children-are-carbon-copies-of-their-parents/

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The statement “I love you” is just one statement that can take any relationship to the next level. The statement comes out naturally after we do something exciting, incredible or sweet. Sometimes you just feel like saying it when you see how cute, beautiful or amazing your spouse looks. It’s an emotional statement that makes you feel appreciated and loved if it’s sincerely said.
But “I love you” can as well mar your relationship. We sometimes just begin to misbehave when our friends, partners or couples profess their love for us. It’s just naturally to feel on top of the world when we know someone really and sincerely loves us.
Read on: http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/before-you-say-i-love-you/

The statement “I love you” is just one statement that can take any relationship to the next level. The statement comes out naturally after we do something exciting, incredible or sweet. Sometimes you just feel like saying it when you see how cute, beautiful or amazing your spouse looks. It’s an emotional statement that makes you feel appreciated and loved if it’s sincerely said.
But “I love you” can as well mar your relationship. We sometimes just begin to misbehave when our friends, partners or couples profess their love for us. It’s just naturally to feel on top of the world when we know someone really and sincerely loves us.
Read on: http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/before-you-say-i-love-you/

After numerous research by expert in child’s psychology, it has been discovered that the ideal style of parenting is the Authoritative parenting style. This style of parenting was described in 1960s, by a psychologist named Diana Baumrind. Based on her research on preschool age children she discovered this style of parenting, this style of parenting is as well referred to as democratic parenting style and it holds a high expectation of needs of parent from their children.
Though authoritative parenting sound as a do or die kind of parenting, but it’s said to be the best style of parenting. Some of the characteristics of this kind of parenting are:
1. Parents place limit, consequences and expectations on their children’s behavior.
2. Parents allow their children express their emotions
3. The children’s emotion and opinions are respected.
4. Parents administer fair and consistent discipline
5. Express warmth and nurturance
Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/authoritative-parenting-style/

Do you know that laughter is the best medicine? Yes it’s true. Laughter relieves stress, elevates mood, enhances creativity, and makes you more resilient. But it’s not just good for your emotional and physical health. It’s also good for your relationships. Laughter brings people closer together and creates intimacy. And it’s an especially powerful tool for managing conflict and reducing tension when emotions are running high. Whether with romantic partners, friends and family, or co-workers, you can learn to use humor and play to smooth over disagreements, lower everyone’s stress level, and communicate in a way that builds up the relationships rather than breaking it down.

Humor plays an important role in all kinds of relationships. In new relationships, humor can be an effective tool not just for attracting the other person but also for overcoming any awkwardness or embarrassment that arises during the process of getting to know one another. In established relationships, humor can keep things exciting, fresh, and vibrant. It can also help you get past conflicts, disagreements, and the tiny aggravations than can build up over time and wreck even the strongest of bonds.Read More.http://server8.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/slt/suxm/sexzpjgaamikfrzlft/p1/685-2/

While the early months of a relationship can feel effortless and exciting, successful long-term relationships involve ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the long run. When you are just starting a relationship, it is important to:

• Build. Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say “thank you” to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made.

• Explore. Explore each other’s interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/3-things-you-must-do-to-have-a-healthy-relationship/

While the early months of a relationship can feel effortless and exciting, successful long-term relationships involve ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the long run. When you are just starting a relationship, it is important to:

• Build. Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say “thank you” to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made.

• Explore. Explore each other’s interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests.While the early months of a relationship can feel effortless and exciting, successful long-term relationships involve ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the long run. When you are just starting a relationship, it is important to:

• Build. Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say “thank you” to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made.

• Explore. Explore each other’s interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/3-things-you-must-do-to-have-a-healthy-relationship/

The article we wrote yesterday under relationship section pointed out communication as a critical ingredient that spice up relationship. For more details refer to the article http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/most-couples-don’t-pay-attention-to-their-relationships/

Today we will be talking about communication problem in relationship. According to Elaine Fantle Shimberg the author of Blending Families believes that all relationship problems stem from poor communication. She said “You can’t communicate while you are checking your Blackberry, watching television or flipping through sports section”
If communication is an ingredient that can spice up relationship and if most relationship problems are stemmed up from poor communication, then everyone in a relationship needs to know how to communicate effectively. Yes, because we communicate in all calls of life, the way we relate with business partners, friends, and colleagues has a long way to determine how we communicate in our relationship or marriage.

To communicate effectively:
1. You have to be calm and soft: When we raise our voices, it naturally disturbs the mind. You can’t raise your voice in the library because it’s affect concentration. When you scream while communicating, the receiver of your message gets disconnected. You won’t want to shout in the hospital, you will be embarrassed, reason because noise disturbs one’s state of mind. A receiver tend to shout back at you, or ask you “why are you shouting? Can’t you talk without shouting?”

2. Talk or speak at the right time: its better you tell the person you want to communicate to or who wants to communicate with you that “can we please speak or talk later” because the right things can be said at the wrong time. Sometimes when we are not in the right state of mind to communicate, it’s better we reschedule the discussion instead of getting angry over little things because of our state of mind. Of cause every human will once in a while be in that mood. ’’You don’t always win in life’’

3. Follow the rules: there are rules in communication: Listen first before you speak, so you can be on the same page of the discussion. Don’t interrupt your communication partner, let him/her finishes before you talk or speak. Generalize it. don’t always ascribe credit to yourself, “I did it”, “I will do it”, “I am the best”. It’s sometimes makes your listener see you as a liar and someone who takes credit. He/she may not take you serious. Ask for other people’s opinion, instead of saying “This is how we must do it” say “How should we do it” it gives your partner the sense of belonging and importance.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/most-relationship-problems-are-stemmed-up-from-poor-communication/

People who are just too good at everything put excessive demand on themselves and others. They are called the “I too know people” or the “perfectionist”. They just want everything to be perfect, but little do they know that you can never find a perfect system. To some extent, it’s a good quality, they start and most times finish the started task, they have specific, measurable, achievable and timely goals but most times put themselves and people around them under pressure.

This act goes beyond putting a perfectionist under pressure, in the quest to achieve or attain a goal, it also affect them in their relationships with others, because they expect more from everything. For those who are married, it most times ends up in divorce, if their spouses are not hard working and patient.

There are three areas every perfectionist or person who does not what to become one must focus on in order to avoid divorce
Criticism and unrealistic expectations: Because you don’t have equal capacity with your spouse, learn not to criticize or condemn them for what they do. Instead encourage them and teach them with love to be better persons. Sometimes you allow them learn with time, there is fun in the process of learning. You know their capacities don’t expect more from them, instead cover up for them.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/your-marriage-will-workif-you-do-it-the-way-you-want-it/

The reason why a lot of relationships are not working today is because most couples are not paying attention to their relationships. Every couple desires a healthy relationship and most are not happy if it’s not working. Being sad about it not working will change nothing, as we know anything we don’t change will not change. You are getting the same result in your relationship because you have been doing the same thing or things. Of cause you will get different result(s) if you start doing different thing(s).

If couples pay attention to their relationship, then, they can vividly point out those things that are not making it work.Though, there are lot of ingredients that spice up relationships, A research carried out on relationship and marriage effectiveness showed that communication is one critical ingredient for a healthy relationship.

What is communication?
Communication is an act of information exchange between two or more people. The essence of communication is to form a communication intent and to pass a message.

The above research carried out found out that most unhealthy relationship are not healthy because the couples don’t understand themselves. They don’t understand themselves because they cannot effectively communicate with one another.

Some communication components are:
– Message Composition: it has to do with how the message is composed, some people don’t really think or compose the message they want to pass. They don’t care how it will make the other person feel, they just say it the way it is.

– Message Encoding: This is also in a way filtering and preparing a message. Our words will do less harm, if we can quickly and consciously filter them, before we say them.

– Message Transmission: This has to do with the time and manner the message is being passed. People don’t care about other peoples’ mood or condition, if they are in the right mood to receive the message.

– Message Reception: People have different perception or intent different from the intent of the message sent to them. They react instead of acting on the message.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/most-couples-dont-pay-attention-to-their-relationships/

Childcare is indeed becoming necessary for parents, even with the tight schedules and pursuit of their careers. More and every career parents will often require the services of a child expert or nanny.
A child expert or a nanny is an individual who is trusted and trained to take care of children (They are regarded as the most trusted people to parents in the world), because they represent them in their absence.

Even when parents’ are with their kids, they are very conscious and alert. Where is my baby, what is in his/her mouth are the questions always on their mind. Wow! You can indeed imagine, a bothered parent, leaving behind their kids for an individual. This individual is really worth it.Though, some nannies are also not professional in their dealings of taking care of children. So parents are advised to consider some of these tips, when choosing a nanny for their children.
Considerations when choosing your nanny

– Are they trained and certified

– Are they loving and caring?

– Are they experienced?

– Are they pleasant to deal with?

– Are they reliable?

– Do they have good references?

– Are they flexible?

– Will the nanny be living with you?

– Will you always take you kid/kids to the nanny?
Read More.relationshiptalks.com.ng/things-to-consider-when-choosing-a-nanny/

As little girls, you were made to believe in the Prince Charming. He’s going to keep you away from danger, always hold you in his arms, and, will make you his queen when he becomes a king.
Hum! Gone are those days, most of those prince charming guys have lost their conscience. Yes, they will keep you from danger, always hold you in their arms, but they have a lot to consider as their queen to be when the eventually become kings.

Anyway, it’s one of those relationship myths. Some of the myths as said by Dr. Judith Wright and Dr. Bob Wright who are both relationship counselors. They shared some light to some relationship myths

Myth 1: Prince Charming Exists
Reality: Your guy might be amazing, yet you’re still longing for perfection. No one is perfect — not even you! Charming men can also be too good to be true.
“They are often shallow, in genuine, and manipulative,” Dr. Judith reveals. “[They] often say what you want to hear in order to seduce you.”
You see, ladies, you must let go of this fantasy hombre, and say yes to Prince Real, Prince Values and Prince Substance.

Myth 2: You Must Be Rescued
Reality: If you feel you need to be rescued from a bad relationship or a crappy single life, you’re placing yourself as the victim. And that’s “a perfect formula for drama, but not for a relationship,” says Dr. Bob. “Rescuing leads to dependence and resentment, because the person being rescued will eventually need to grow up and then the entire foundation for the relationship falls apart.”
Your best bet is to become a self-aware, confident and loving mujer who knows who she wants and who she is. That way you’ll attract a man of quality. Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/as-little-girls-you-were-made-to-believe-in-the-prince-charming/

A study made on children’s behavior showed that children would prefer you yell at them than ignore them. Aside physical abuse, been kept in isolation or castigated is one of the harshest punishment on an individual.
Likewise being silent, when you are expected to talk or speak is also regarded as a form of punishment that keeps the other person devastated. It can indeed generate fear in these concerned individuals. Most are willing to make amendment and ask for forgiveness if you can just speak, communicate how you feel to them.

When we shut down or close our heart on people, refusing to interact or acknowledge them, we often think we are passing the message of our grievances, but little do we know we are doing more bad than good. You hope in treating them this way, they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve punishment, deserve to have your “love” taken away.Yes, you do more bad than good. Because the research showed that the angered person is more depressed and devastated than the supposed offender.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/you-do-more-bad-than-good-when-you-ignore-your-spouse/

Valentine’s Day is a day to show love to your partner, friends and relatives. Life indeed gets busy, from all kinds of daily routines. From work to the school, market and every other thing coming up. Valentine’s Day is just one day in the year when everybody talks about love. You can indeed feel the sparks of love in the air, from the match of white and red attires, to the exchange of gifts. Couples and singles in every area and corners around you. Valentine’s Day comes ones and those in love sees it as their day. Most lovers behave the way they would not on an ordinary day and then after 24 hours it’s gone. Lovers wish it never goes, and they look forward to the next in anticipation to do more amazing things.

Valentine is for everybody, and should be celebrated by everyone in respective of your marital status or what have you. Every couple, married, engaged or anyone who wants to catch fun, should celebrate Valentine’s because it is a day to show love and to be loved. That is, you are my valentine because I love you. Understanding love will really help us appreciate the big day Valentine, our own Valentines and the reasons why they are our Valentines.

An anthropologist at Rutgers University in New Jersey by the name Helen Fisher wrote in her book “Why we love” The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.

Helen Fisher broke love into three different brain systems that facilitate mating and reproduction. The three brain systems of love are:
 Sex drive
 Romantic love (obsession, passion, infatuation)
 Attachment (calmness and security with a long-term partner)

Helen said the three brain systems play significant roles in love. They can operate independently and are not dependent to one another. But the three works for an ideal relationship.Read More.relationshiptalks.com.ng/why-heshe-is-your-valentine/

Healthy, strong relationship can be a very important thing in couple’s life. Healthy relationships can positively affect all areas of your life, it keeps your mind at peace, and helps build good connections with others. In the other hand, it can be devastating, if it’s not healthy. We go about worried and disturbed, this will affect our connections and relationships with others.

Every relationship is unique, its uniqueness is as relative to the people in question. We have different attitudes, temperament and ideologies. Most times these are the determinants of the outcome of our relationships. It won’t be fair, if we compare our relationship with others, because who we are determine what our relationship becomes. If your relationship is faced with challenges, instead of complaining, condemning or criticizing your partner, you can both work it out. You are what your relationship is, if you change yourselves, your relationship will relatively change.
Everyone’s relationship is not the same, but there are things that are common in good relationships. Knowing these principles will help us better our best in our relationships. Some of the common things are:

1. Communication: Communication is very important, if you can communicate clearly and respectfully you will pass your message. You can also study your partner’s body languages, when he/she is happy or sad. These will help you understand when to crack jokes or when to comfort them.

2. Change: We most times make mistakes in our relationships, it’s human, but if we continual make these mistakes, it means we are not learning from the pass mistakes. If we don’t learn from the pass mistakes, we will definitely repeat them and we continually quarrel on the same issues.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/every-relationship-is-unique/

Effect of love on relationships is the continuation of yesterday’s post on “Do You Think All You Need Is Love Or Do You Think Love Is Not Enough.” Read

Love effects on love are numerous, but only three are itemized below:

1. Love does not equal compatibility. That you are in love with someone does not automatically mean that your marriage will work with them. Love does not make marriage work understanding does.Love is emotional while compatibility is a logical thing.It’s possible to be in love with somebody you don’t understand and a person who misbehaves.

2. Love does not solve your relationship problems.Most times we think when we have frequent issues in our relationship it’s because we don’t love our selves, no, it’s because we don’t understand ourselves and we cant live together. We should also grow up and be matured.Because it takes two matured and tolerating adults to make a good relationship.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/effects-of-love-on-relationships/

What do you think about love, do you think all you need is love or do you think love is not enough. Your perception of love goes a long way to how you love others and your reception of other people’s love towards you. Good perception of love without good understanding of love makes one a mere person who preaches what he does not understand nor practice. All you need is love and love is not enough are two songs written as back as 1967 by John Lennon and thirty five years later by Trent Reznor respectively.John Lennon who believes and sang “All you need is love” will be perceived as a good caring husband, father and citizen. But do you know he beat both of his wives regularly. He abandoned one of his children, verbally assault his gay Jewish manager. He films himself lying naked. John Lennon had good perception of love but has little or no understanding of love.Trent Reznor, was very famous in his time, he was known for his shocking stage performances. Despite being famous he married one wife and they both had two children. He cancels musical tours and performances to spend time with his wife and children. He does not drink, he was clean from all drugs and alcohol.

We over estimate love, most people believe love is the solution to their problems. Our community, movies and happenings have Idealized love as the only thing we need to be happy. Love is more than what we feel or say, it’s more of what we think and do. This ideology of love is one of the reasons why relationships don’t work and marriages end up in divorce and separation. When we believe all we need is love, we’re more prone to ignore the act of love. The acts of love are commitment, respect, humility and doing to others what we want them do to us.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/do-you-think-all-you-need-is-love-or-do-you-think-love-is-not-enough/

Parenting is indeed a definitive long term investment. It’s requires commitment and dedication, one needs to put far more into parenting than one is expecting from it. Though a stressful investment that gets worse before it gets better. It’s pays in the long run when it begins to yield. But in the other hand, one will live the whole life with regrets if the investment was not done at all or was wrongly done.

It starts from watching the baby sleep, teaching the baby how to talk, walk and do other things at the Alpha age. At that point your baby begins to see through your eyes and talk through your voice. The baby invariably becomes you. Parents have massive influence over their baby’s growth and development. However, other influences are exerted on the baby when he/she start schooling, influence from the neighborhood and friends are also going to affect the baby, so then parents should be available to guide the baby right. It’s very important that parent should start the process of parenting well.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/parenting-is-definitive-long-term-investment/

Have you noticed? That in recent times marriages seems to breakup within 3 years of wedding than it used to be in the days of our fathers. Why is the case of separation and divorce so high nowadays? Maybe our parents did things differently. Marriages today as it were have more chances of survival than in those days, this is because we spend time relating, dating and courting ourselves than they did in those days. If marriage survival is based on the time we spend together then marriages today should by far be better than marriages of those days. With the rate of breakups and divorces today one might be tempted to say all the whole time we spend together understanding and relating with ourselves is a waste of time.

In those days our parents had little or no say when it comes to getting married. Their parent made the choices for them. They spent little or no time together, in some part you even get to meet the person you are getting married to on the day of your wedding. You don’t even get to see him/her early, all in anticipation to see that very person you saw in the black and monochrome photo, what if you get to know that your husband/wife to be is photogenic, looks more beautiful in the photo that he/she is in reality.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/560-2/

You can only be betrayed by someone you trust, it does not matter to you when someone you do not trust misbehaves. Therefore, betrayal is the violation of trust or confidence. Most times the betrayers are people very close to us. Horus Fe Nix said “the saddest thing about betrayer is that it never comes from your enemies.” For instance, a spouse is betrayed when his/her partner have an affair, partners in business can also betray themselves when the terms and conditions of a business deal are not kept. Betrayal is simply the act of lying, cheating or hurting someone deliberately or indeterminately.

The effect of betrayal is very devastating on those who have being betrayed. Because it’s often taught that it’s a deliberate behavior to hurt the other person. Sometimes it’s due to carelessness, personal or emotional weaknesses. Furthermore, betrayal can sometimes be loss of an illusion or believe we have for someone or something. We end up being hurt when we realize the truth or faced by the reality. For instance, a young man who believes his fiancee is reserved and kept. He sees her as a moral person. If after their wedding he notices she has had sexual inter courses with people she confesses she can’t count. The young man feels betrayed and hurt when he is faced with this reality.

One of the effects of betrayal is grief. A betrayed person becomes very grievous because he/she feels cheated. The grief is then followed by anger then sadness. The sadness is as a result of reflection of the good things in the relationship, how you held the betrayer so high in esteem and the reality that you can never get to completely trust someone again. The grief process is believed to be a healing process, and if we patiently go through this process we will recover from betrayal. Patiently going through this process simply means allowing the feelings. Feelings are never bad or wrong, but what we do as a result of our feelings makes it a good or bad feeling. If you channel your feelings right, you will get to a point of decision making. Right feelings about a situation will definitely suggest good decisions which will be followed by a right action or right actions. But wrong feelings in the other hand leads to a point of bad decision making which will be followed by a wrong or negative action like committing suicide, vengeance est.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/when-trust-is-betrayed/

Different parents have their own ways to teach their children, and all of them always want to become good parents and bring out the best in their children. However, does anyone know exactly about what are some characteristics of a good parent? There are absolutely many qualities to judge with depending on the person but here are three mains qualities that a good parent must have, those are consideration, care and being patient.

To begin with, a good parent always considers their children. In order to become good parents, each parent has to understand their children and communicate with them. Through consideration, parents can build the good relationship with their children and understand their thought pattern, and they can decide how to bring their children up. For instance, children often have some trouble in the school, such as being shy with the teacher or worry about lessons, and they also often do not tell these problems to their parents. Nevertheless, if parents spend their time to observe and talk with their children, they can recognize these issues and find many good ways to help their children to fix these issues.

In addition, parent have to become patient with their children. Children are very intelligent and exciting, but they often make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, children dislike their parents’ decision and oppose what their parents said; therefore, parents have to teach them carefully and gradually in order to help them become better. For example, due to nervousness, a child may not want to go to school but some mothers go as far as seating down with that child in school till he/she becomes used to school.

Finally, children need care from their parents. They are small and not healthy enough to fight back some illnesses, such as cold flu or tooth decay; as a result, parents have to always take care of them, teach them how to be healthy, check their health. In addition, parents have to provide balanced diets for their children in order to help them to develop better.

In conclusion, the good parents will have great children.These are just few of the qualities that make up a great parent so you may have further suggestions. suggestions?
Read more on relationshiptalks.com.ng

Marriage doesn’t dig well with many of the single habits we bring into it. Habits are those things we started in bit but have become part of us. It will really not matter to you as a single, maybe you are used to them or all your effort to change is to no avail. Marriage will not go well with our single habit, there is a need for change. But change is gradual and can only come in bit until it becomes our habit. To change the single habits we need to be patient and focus on improvement rather than perfection.

Identifying your weaknesses will help you understand and be merciful anytime your spouse exhibits this habit. You know it’s one of the single habits you both identified and you have decided to gradually and patiently change. When you put your habit in perspective, it makes you less judgmental.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/marriage-doesnt-dig-well-with-many-of-the-single-habits/

“Honesty is the best policy.” in building a long lasting relationship. When you’re falling in love, growing intimacy is all about the well-timed reveal. A natural inclination to over share or say the whole truth can intimidate your new partner, but hesitating to disclose certain things about your past can as well cause hurt down the road. How will you know when it’s the right time to share your secrets?

Being honest can help you earn trust in your relationship. But in being honest one has to be diplomatic. Over sharing your past can discourage your partner, saying much about your future can as well intimidate him/her. Yes telling your partner everything will really not make them love you better. Sometimes your past story can scare them giving them a bad perception about you. Allowing your partner get to know about you gradually can indeed make the relationship adventurous. A Sociologist said “Its better you base your discussion on interest, likes and perceptions instead of on your past and your future, when you become intimate and comfortable with him/her other things can then be said. This she said as a result of a research carried out on relationship and intimacy. Couples who talked more on their interest, likes and beliefs where found to be more intimate than those who discussed personal issues.

Knowing the basis or telling them the basis doesn’t really have much to do with how far your relationship will go. Your new lover doesn’t need to know how many exes you have or who they are and the way the treated you. Take personal issues out at this stage, of course you are pretty a new person now than you were 5 years ago. Yes, your new love will get to know you with time, but learn not to share some of your history unless it becomes relevant somehow.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/when-should-you-talk-about-your-past/

After numerous research by expert in child’s psychology, it has been discovered that the ideal style of parenting is the Authoritative parenting style. This style of parenting was described in 1960s, by a psychologist named Diana Baumrind. Based on her research on preschool age children she discovered this style of parenting, this style of parenting is as well referred to as democratic parenting style and it holds a high expectation of needs of parent from their children.
Though authoritative parenting sound as a do or die kind of parenting, but it’s said to be the best style of parenting. Some of the characteristics of this kind of parenting are:
1. Parents place limit, consequences and expectations on their children’s behavior.
2. Parents allow their children express their emotions
3. The children’s emotion and opinions are respected.
4. Parents administer fair and consistent discipline
5. Express warmth and nurturance
Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/authoritative-parenting-style-is-the-best/

Are you worried about the future of your marriage? Hum! A lot of couples are worried. It’s indeed a challenge for new and old couples because more than half of new marriages today end in divorce. Over 50% of old marriages are not working. We all desire and pray for a healthy marriage, but it’s more disturbing because the divorce rate is increasing by the day and we don’t seem to comprehend why marriages have become brittle.

In search of the truth about why our marriages have become brittle and fragile, and those things that can help binds our marriages together, it has been discovered that people spend more time and money preparing for weddings than they do on marriages. The society has made it look as if elaborate wedding is a prerequisite to a successful marriage. yes, wedding and marriage, there is a big difference between them. Wedding is the ceremony or celebration of a marriage while marriage is both a natural institution and a sacred union between a man and a woman.

We prepare and plan more for the celebration of our admission into the natural institution than we do in acquiring information about the institution we are about to be admitted into. Are marriages deformed because we are not informed? Information is power, in respective of the time you get information, it will make you powerful.Fighting, and frequent issues in a marriage is not a sign that it’s not working or it will soon end in a divorce. If only we can learn from each and try to change for better.Get information about good and bad marriages, there are things that are done differently.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/a-lot-of-couples-are-worried/

There are different stories on the origin of valentine’s celebration. The most accepted is that of the Roman Empire which dates back 270 A.D when Claudius II reigned.During his reign, the Roman Empire faced crisis from the Slavs,Huns,Turks, Gauls, Asia and from Northern Europe.More and more men were needed to be recruited as soldiers and officers to protect the nation from their enemies. Claudius believed unmarried men made better soldiers than the married men, because the married soldiers he said “are emotionally connected to their wives and children”.He believed the single men will be more committed and dedicated” so he ordered and made a decree, that stopped young men from getting married.

Secret wedding ceremonies were performed by Bishop Valentine against the decree made by Claudius. Valentine was jailed because he went against Claudius’s decree.Valentine became intimate with Asterius’ daughter while he was in prison. Asterius was the jailer man.It is said that Claudius gave a decree that Valentine should be executed and valentine is believed to have been executed on February 14, 270 AD. Before Valentine’s execution, he asked for a paper and pen and signed a farewell message to Asterius’ daughter and he concluded the message with the popular phrase “From Your Valentine.”

Today, Valentine’s Day is one of the major holidays all over the world which has become an active ceremony. The Greeting Card Association, in America said 25% of all cards sent each year are “valentines”. They said Valentine’s Day cards are better known and are often designed with hearts, which is a basic symbol of love.But a research carried out on “Valentine’s gift and love sharing” showed that most people don’t send greeting cards nor write a message on a sheet of paper with a sign “From Your Valentine” as Bishop St Valentine did to his lover, Asterius’ daughter.

They do this in a more creative and romantic ways.Here are some of the proven romantic ways to tell your spouse or lover you are my valentine.

1. Make a book about why you love him/her and why you are thankful for the relationship. This will remind you of those things you love about him/her and not their shortcomings.Read More.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/who-is-valentine/

Having looked at some characteristics of high achieving fellows, let us summarize them into the guidelines for evaluating entrepreneurs for financing decisions as follows:

1.Self Confidence
a. Confidence
b. Independence and Individuality
c. Opinion
d. Leadership dynamism

2. Originality
a. Innovative, creative
b. Resourceful
c. Initiative
d. Versatile, knowledgeable

3. People Oriented
a. get along with others
b. flexible
c. responsive to suggestions/criticisms
Read MORE.http://relationshiptalks.com.ng/personality-traits-characteristics-of-entrepreneurs/

We will be considering this topic for a while on this platform. This is an issue that affects married and singles alike. An issue that seems to eat into the very core of marriage and also deluding singles, creating an unrealistic expectation in their minds about marriage. Yes that’s the word- PORNOGRAPHY, it’s strong like that!

It’s being written boldly not just to catch your attention but to show you what a great challenge the word is creating in our world today. It stares at us on the streets, pops up unexpectedly while we innocently surf the net, we aren’t even too certain of what to expect when we sit with the kids to watch TV, neither are the cartoons these days too safe- everywhere has been infiltrated. It started in cafes but subtly crept into our homes and our offices aren’t an exception either. It has made sex common and amplified women as objects of sexual pleasure. A short introduction into pornography will do.

Pornography, more commonly referred to as porn or Indecency in informal usage, consists of sexually explicit material intended to sexually arouse. It may be presented in a variety of media, including books, magazines, postcards, photographs, sculpture, painting, animation, sound recording films and video games. According to research, one of the largest porn sites in the world receives 4.4 billion page views a month by 350 million unique visitors. According to another review, over 25,000 internet users are viewing porn every second and a new porn video is being created every 39 mins!..Read More.