Some people are still not getting the question.Are they pretenders or not ?
This is not "gist".Last year armed robbers came to my street in Calabar and after robbing one govt. official of some money meant for official duty the following morning( he collected several hundred thousand very late taht day).They stood in the street sang song of praise gave a tesimony and prayed for forgiveness before leaving.
This is a true story and anyone who lives there will know what I am talking about.

@1K001 ,I will agree with you on one point .If I did not have a Christian upbringing or did not go to church I know I would definitely be a much worse person than I am.But I am talking here about people who are outwardly very religious(not only Christians, mark this. )but who do not show it in any way in their personal lives.
There is no way to look into the heart of any person ,but you can tell by their fruits (actions)what they are.

@ Red lips U got it for real

@1K00!, man I don't know where youlive or how long you've been away from Nigeria.That your statement "if Odili is corrupt must qualify as the greatest joke ever on Nairaland.
@ Topic note . I am a Christian and I try my best to be a good Christian. This post is not about whether it is good to go to church or Mosque but what the reality of the life of people who who claim to be holier than others is.
The sooner one realises how imperfect your life is then you can make amends

If by pretenders you mean people who pray , talk ,shout God all the time but in their day to day life show nothing of the teaching of their religion( both Christian and Muslims).
I would have to agree, most Nigerians go to church or mosque all the time and always drop God into their talk but their lifestyle is totally devoid of love ,compassion and good will towards their fellow humans. All the rogues from Alami to Babangida cannot talk without saying by the grace of God or insha Allah.
I feel the pretence is getting worse as the years go by because I believe people were more sincere a couple decades ago.

I still repeat, all these women saying No,just pray you don't fall in love with a guy who smokes because unless he is a chain smoker you might not know and even then you won't be able to say No so vigorously.
I am speaking from personal experience.

Top Dollar has a clear cut case of inferiority complex with over compensation.
That is she can't believe how lucky she is to be in Obodo Oyibo, therefore every thing that reminds her of her probably underprivileged life in Naija has to be discarded including Nigerian men . Simple.
I see her type every day here trying to form phone.

This Guy obviously has very little experience with women and could not believe his luck that a girl gave him a number in 2 hours that some guys could have got in 10 mins.
He is just overwhelmed .
Get a life

I will just add,and I hope I will not be crucified. Most guys who are playaz know women generally do not practise what they preach, that will be the down fall of any "guyman", if he takes every thing women tell him verbatim.
This why like Pannyman said, the seemingly bad guys get all the chicks.

It so happens I used to smoke and drink moderately.Like Emad said there are different levels to smoking and drinking. If a guy is a drunk who does not drink responsibly and gets drunk and misbehaves ,that's a big no no.
If a guy chain smokes and smells of tobacco all the time,that's also a problem because even when smoking I never liked the smell of another persons smoke.
To all the ladies , pray you never fall in love with a guy who smokes because from my experience during my days in the game(retired now)
First I never let any girl know at first meeting that I smoked.
Secondly I never smoked heavily so I would never be smelling of of smoke or have my mouth reeking of tobacco.
By the time the girl got involved in the relationship and knew I smoked,I never knew any girl who had the will to end a reltionship because I smoked as far as they were not there when I was smoking.
Even the ones who claimed to be conservative or religious. I quit smoking on health grounds only

That girl is a waste of space ,it is because some people who do not have a life are so tripped by any celebrity gossip it sells papers,mags etc ,thats why she is always in the news.
@Beebaybee, do you know Paris Hilton's greatest achievement in Life is to bear the surname Hilton and appearing in one dull Indecency flick.
How can anybody be jealous of her .Please use your dictionary and look up the meaning of that word

They don't speak English but I looked it up and thats the origin of the word pidgin (or pigeon). The language was used by British traders and the Chinese.Thats the same way Nigerian and west African Pidgin English developed. Google pidgin English and you'll come of with a lot of stuff.
Cheers

@aciddrop, The word pidgin originated from from Chinese pidgin English.The languges usually develop as a simplified form of a foreign language usually for trade.
If you look it up in a dictionary or internet ,you will get more info.
How are things Down Under( in OZ)?

Pidgin of any language ,not only English is the corrupted form of the language usually mixed with a local language.
So you can have pidgin English ,pidgin French or Dutch. You also have Nigerian pidgin English which is a variant of West African pidgin English, so saying pidgin English is Nigerian is failing to understand the meaning of the word

The situation she was in before she got married speaks for itself.She was heart broken and married on the rebound,people are most vulnerable at such times and I know guys who look for women in such situations to confuse i.e get into their pants.
The concept of marriage is something a lot of people do not understand,it is not always a live happily evere after scenario.It takes a lot of understanding and commitment to make a marriage work.If you are of a mind to give up at the first sign of trouble ,don't get married because you will surely get divorced.
I have read through this thread and I will say try and let your husband know your feeling.If he is a man of understanding he will try his best to make things better.I feel sorry for some men who pressure women into marrying them ,it usually ends this way when the feeling at the get go is not mutual.
For you my dear I wonder if you knew what you were getting into when you decided to marry him , were you forced.Divorce may be a way out but it will leave you both scared for life and as someone said ,there is no perfect man

I have noticed as others have pointed out a certain condescending attitude by the moderator.Please note that as a Nigerian living in Nigeria continuing with such an attitude will not only upset people but will close doors for you where you should have had easy access.
Most of the people on this forum are responsible adults and even though we don't see each other should be treated with courtesy .You need to do your job with utmost civility.
I may be wrong , but I don't think anyone hates you.This forum which you created is a wonderful thing.
Thanks

We should not be too pessimistic ,there is a lot of poverty and suffering in Nigeria.At the same time please try and remember the 80's and early 90's when the country was at a total standstill.
Things are really happening in Nigeria,last weekend you should have seen the number of young Nigerian professionals who attended a career fair here in London held by companies looking to recruit experienced people to work in Nigeria.if these companies believed there was no hope they would not be looking to invest more money in Nigeria and the professionals would not be thinking of leaving well paid jobs in UK for Nigeria.
Things have been slow, but the changes we all have been praying for are gradually happening.It just needs further consolidation

I believe what is getting some people all riled up is how young she is.
Think about this , if she was 28 and he was 44 would you get so worked up about it.Using age as the sole criteria for determining if a relationship is wrong or right is a bit narrow minded. When I was in sec school I knew girls who were dating older men and they were so mature they were the ones manipulating these guys.We used to wonder if it was "jazz,"but the poor were just fools for love.
There is a real danger of a more experienced person manipulating the younger one but I agree with Luxoire , its the maturity that matters most.
Some one said he is a paedophile, just yesterday I was telling my friend.Especially in the west, if a guy asks out a girl 10yrs his junior he is seen as a pervert, but if a woman dates a guy a 10 yrs younger it is something to celebrate

Any guy that gets approached by a woman I believe has a duty as a gentleman to handle it delicately.Even if you are not interested,women are not used to receiving knocks as we are.

@Busygirl ,some education for you ladies who say they will not make moves on a guy.Women have been doing it for centuries,it takes skills and confidence.Some women can even turn it around so the guy starts chasing them.From looks, smiles ,giggles ,asking about how you are doing, complimenting your dressing etc.Some women know how to make a guys blood boil without saying anything.

The out right straight talking approach by girls is quite common even in Nigeria.
Whats the point of letting someone go and later wonder what may have been.

The goat(wife) is now dead. Look up the story again on BBC.

@Pmdaboh, I said kissing was not part of the culture in many parts of Nigeria.
Please note, I said [/b]was[b] .What I meant there was like 100-50yrs ago.

I don't blame the poster for his question,kissing was not part of the culture in most parts of Nigeria.
As some others have noted the art of kissing needs to be learned.It is not just pressing your mouth against some other person or attempting to swallow them. .
When I started dating I used to fumble around and used to wonder what the big deal was until one girl showed me what kissing was.
Man, with the right person you go loose urself. I think it also has more of an effect in arousing women than men.Kiss a woman well and things will happen for you. .
@Busygirl ,Sorry no offence meant I have to say this but the view you expressed is common with people who have mild Neurosis linked to an obsession for personal hygiene. Kissing some one is a sign of how much you have accepted them.If you find it disgusting what about giving head. I knew one lady who refused to kiss her husband even on account of the fact she had this idea of swallowing dirty saliva.

My brother used to come to Nigeria(then I lived there) with suit cases of gifts and clothes and leave with one shirt and trouser.He would spend up to 500K in 2 weeks and leave.
Once he came and unexpectedly had to stay for a month extra,when all the clothes and gifts ran out and he was not buying drinks like before,all the visitors dried up.Even those he gave 10-30K dash disapeared,now he only has time for our immediate family,me ,I learnt before even leaving Nigeria.
What those who criticized Funloving don't know is how annoying it is to feel people are using you.
I still say though, one must not let the bad eggs stop you helping those for real, if you can

I and my friends have had enough of that crap. People ask for money like they are starving,go to Nigeria and see them drinking Odeku and pepper soup every day while you toil everyday.There are some real cases of need which I will always help out but I go to Nigeria often enough to know B*******T when I hear it.Also nobody did any contribution to get me here.
I use a Nokia 1100, which I bought for 5K in Lagos after giving my phone to somebody.When I suggested to one of my relations to get the same phone in Nigeria after loosing his phone,he said he can't use a phone less than 30,000. This is some one asking me for money!!!

The people blaming this guy I think are being emotional.The way he describes himself makes them bring out knives.
[b]TRUTH[b] any body living abroad whether street cleaner or multi millionaire gets endless demands for money from home.
Unless you are one of those who don't go home or make yourself unaccessible,I know many people who have changed their phone nos because of people who think pounds and dollars grow on trees abroad. Like spoilt said this begging is reflex, they may note be broke may be living better than those abroad,have better phones, go clubbing more,drink more ,party more.
@ funloving there 2 things I've seen written here you need to understand.
1. themindset that "chairman" has to drop for us.
Do not be fooled, even if you think you are high class abroad,many peoples homes in Nigeria are worth up to a million dollars but they will still beg you for money.
2. Don't base your friendship on money or wealth, look diligently into genuine cases as you are able to and help.Anybody who only hangs with you for money is not your friend.tell them off!

It very often leads to problems, especially for girls who keep telling thier friends how nice the guy is or how good he is in bed.
Some girls get foolish and start bad mouthing the guy to thier friends.
Either way, out of curiosity,envy or sympathy it often happens the friend may want to do the guy.
This is why most wise girls don't do it ,they have probably had such betrayal before .