michelin89:

Abeg I nor want your wahala!

So you worship phallus?
Dang it - Michelin? What's happened happening to you?

OAM4J:


Mr Oga, leave my wife alone o, before . . . .

Which baby? the one I adopted and gave my name?

Missy B knows the truth!
She knows what went down

michelin89:

My gal and I were having a chat about relationships and women when we ended up discussing the case of women who just can't leave a man despite all the evil he does to her.

This is a related story by a lady:

http://temiville./2012/01/21/if-you-call-it-settling-then-yes-i-have-settled

Now this lady was hopelessly in love with Bode, a man who treated her like poo and never loved or cared about her. What was this attraction that was holding her back to the point she nullified herself for the man to walk on? Thankfully she wasn't abused physically, but the emotional scars she was left with led her into the arms of a man she doesn't feel anything for, Tayo.

Wetin this woman find for Bode body wey she dey die for and why she nor wan leave am? Simple: his phallus!

This woman is a perfect example of a phallusian. Let's get more information about it.

Who is a Phallusian?

Phallusians are generally women who worship and adore the god Phallus.

Who is Phallus?

Phallus is the divinized form of that part of a man situated on the lower part of his pubic region. He is always accompanied by one or two devoted followers who jealously contain the nectar he donates to his worshippers, whenever he is pleased with their praises.

Identifying Phallusians

1. Majority women
2. Age is irrelevant
3. She is devoted beyond human comprehension to a man
4. She is aggressive towards other women
5. Rarely single and prone to very long lasting relationships
6. She is excessively controlling, jealous and protective towards her man
7. She loves the man's phallus more than she actually loves the man, but she isn't aware of that.
8. She lacks her own personality and molds herself to fit the taste of the man whose phallus she's in love with.

So Nlders, now that you are aware of this new religion, can you tell the class what can lead a woman to be a follower and do you think such religion will gain consent in our Nigerian/African society?

Why ain't i surprised?

tpia@:

The only thing that gets them sobbing is when you comment on the various criminalities they engage in in the name of relationships, overseas.

It just breaks their heart, even when it's so obvious to even the lizard on the wall, that they are towing a wrong path.

What on earth is going on, and how can we help rehabilitate our men.

This state of affairs is very bad.

Can they be rehabilitated at all?

Just yesterday i was reading a news story about malaysia warning it's female citizens to stay away from nigerian men.

The other day it was singapore telling its females to be wary of nigerian men.

If countries are taking these things to the national level then shouldnt nigerians start doing something about it.

When did we get to this stage? Is it the effect of globalization?

This is a bit rich coming from a chic whose country ships the highest number of pr[i]o[/i]stitutes on the planet.
Can the women of Nigeria be rehabilitated so they can stop smearing shame on our faces?
Another Nigerian female air-hostess got 5 yrs for bringing hard substances into the UK.

Missy_B:

Lol!
I actually almost posted a photo of pap(akamu). . . . Good thing I didn't.

Hey Missy B.

A ghost? spirit? fairy? genie? incubus?
Whichever one, i am here to torment you.

Where is my baby?

ritchboy:

^^ Mr Man, you're on minimum wage so betting your salary won't impress anyone.

Who said anything about Arsenal goalies But while we're on the subject I can "bet my lunch" De Gea is easily the worst #1 keeper in the top-six!

I coulda sworn I gave him kudos for anticipating the flight of the ball. . . I don't know why more goalies don't take the gamble when they know from that distance the kicker will go for the near-post 90% of the time.

Then you would lose your bet cos De Gea is actually the youngest and the newest in the league. . . .
That said, he's a better shot stopper than any in the top-six, he has the best distribution as well. The only flaw of De Gea is when the box is crowded and he would get better at dealing with that when he beefs up his svelte physique.

Emperoh:

My only regret is that this is not enough to convince Starboard that DDG is good enough
He praised him ooo but. . . . . . .he's such a hard task master

De Gea has done really well - the problems with him as we speak are the diagonal balls and deep crosses.
He's finding it difficult to deal with that because of the physical nature of the league in this country.
When the box is crowded, De Gea has a problem as his lean frame is not strong enough to run through players like Neuer or Brad Friedel would do.

Let's not also forget he's rarely played with the same defence unit in 2 consecutive games.
The Premier League centre-back partnerships with De Gea.

7 games - Ferdinand/Evans
4 games - Jones/Evans
3 games - Ferdinand/Vidic

1 game - Ferdinand/Jones
1 game - Vidic/Evans
1 game - Jones/Carrick
1 game - Ferdinand/Smalling

dj5naira:

Little dot he's interlinkin' ain't connectin'║
Youre far worse than a Better Connection. . Emptyhen(MTN)║

Blaze hotter than the sun's core/while you need a fagg[i]o[/i]t to [i]c[/i]um raw/
Avoid the dark lord with more ammo than a gun store/

dj5naira:

Your pension exhausted?

You are a consummate r[i]e[/i]tard.
No wonder you are hired for as cheap as 5 naira.

ritchboy:

Nothing special about the save per se, De Gea had already ANTICIPATED were Mata would place it.

Look at the second gif, he's almost in the middle of the goal by the time Mata strikes the ball instead of covering the other side of the wall.

Kudos to him for his anticipation, though if Mata had gone far-post he coulda ended up red-faced.

Give credits where it's due. . . . .De Gea has always had good feet to shuttle quickly.
Look at his starting position from the 1st gif. . .

[img]http://www.abload.de/img/degeaojai9.gif[/img]

This was against Ramirez earlier in the season.
Look at his position when the cross was made and see how quickly he moved to deny Ramirez.

BlueDiva:

Howard Webb? What a joke.
Someone who shows 3 yellows in the World cup to the same player in one match.

Anyways, complaining is like medicine after death. . .
Let's count our loses and move on.

Finishing in 4th spot will be considered a blessing.

Now i understand the saying "You don't know what you have till it's gone'.
CA, we were hard on you.

This is why i strongly clamour for female posters on this section.

Spurs are not the same team without Lennon and Van Der Vaart

A cat at Anfield. . . . .Klu Klux Klan must be proud!

DBR:

We got more than 9lives dude.No safe hands to leave d future of FFR to, so once a while we pop in to keep it real. Wats up u?

oNe

Forced back from retirement!
Where's Eldee and the others?

Hello Missy B!

DBR:

He's alive! Lord Sauron lives!!!

oNe

DBR?
I cannot believe all these cats are still alive.
What's happening in this section?

[img]http://gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=3389957&t=o[/img]

Mata is a cracking player, FFS. . . .
Look at where he was aiming at. . . .He intended to paralyse David De Gea.

Valencia didn't jump to block the free-kick but he jumped after De Gea saved.
What a clown!

lalaboi:

Typical one way thinking!.  Cos you support UTD dont mean you reasoning should be as rubbish as it is right now. If i pull ur shirt back and u fall forward, isn't that conning the ref? infact the whole UTD team was busy doing that yesterday! Its amazing how Tony pulis was just taking about the same issue and Danny welbeck is seen doing an R'Kelly! IT IS DISGRACEFUL and your backward thinking self isn't condemning it! Karma is a NaughtyWoman and i will surely come and laugh in your thread if it happens to you when it matters the most!

It is one thing to con the referee and its another for the ref to blatantly get decisions wrong! One of them happened yesterday!

If you feel it didn't hurt your more, then na your own palava bdat!. not mine .  Unless you rate Newcastle that much.

Jesus Wept. . . .
You still talk trash as usual. Ashley Young's shirt was pulled from behind. Whether he fell forward or backwards, he was fouled before he fell.
He didn't have to fall before the line assistant raises his flag for that blatant foul in the box.

The second shout was the most annoying.
Welbeck was through on goal and Gary Cahill was the last man. He should have seen RED.
Johnny Evans saw RED for fouling Balotelli @ Old Trafford. United should have had a free-kick at the edge of the box with Cahill sent off.

Webb must have seen his grave mistakes at half-time and he was desperate to even things out.
Evra's foul was a stone wall penalty. Welbeck tripped himself and he got the decision in his favour just like Zhirkov got one last seasons against Smalling.
United deserved a point or even 3. They were the better team for large spells in the game.

Ibime:

Goodluck Jonathan. . . . thats my kin/
I swag like him/ plus I wear a hat like him/
But this verse isn’t meant to defend/
cos our dress-code . . . is where the resemblance ends!/
I told my family, vote Buhari or die/
cos I don’t live there. . . but I don’t wanna see y’all cry/
All these politicians want is a piece of pie/
And for that National Cake, they g’on bleed y’all dry/
I ask Jesus why/ we dey suffer for here/
Some of us dey pack shyte. . . cos gutter must clear/
Some of us dey even sell pure water for there/
They make a hawker of the daughter you bare . . It’s utter despair!/
Thank God say I comot that year/
Jand done open my eye. . . oya make we stop and compare/
If dem say jand too much/ dem dey yarn you dust/
But for jand/ your fellow man/ no fit harrass you much/
You no dey pay egunje to clear your van for Port/
You no dey settle teacher to pass exam and such/
School no dey strike, every class is taught/
Every instrument thats needed in the lab is bought/
And no jungle justice. . . dem must charge you court/
We expect the same in Naij. . . they say we ask too much/
Look. . . . I ain’t tryna act all stiff/
But I feel that Nigerians deserve to have all this/
cos during War Against Indiscipline. . . .  we had all this!/
So when you thumbed Umbrella. . .  that’s a fact y’all missed!/
Now it’s subsidy issue/ but lets press rewind/
one year ago. . . before election time/
When Goodluck depleted Excess Crude Account/
Then ran to IMF to loan the same amount/
You see. . . the enemy only works to devour/
They asked for subsidy removal to halve your purchasing power/
You aint gotta guess the message. . .
That Goodluck's election expenses. . . led to the IMF directives!/
Saying we cant afford subsidy is a fatal assumption/
What we really cant afford. . . is waste and corruption!/
I’m a Port Harcourt son/ Amadi where I reside in/
Last year, BoyLoaf  sent me Christmas tidings/
He used to be my neighbour. . .an avuncular fellow/
And so was Dame Patience. . . before her pumpkin was yellow/
but you see. . . I aint blinded by filial ties/
Especially when corruption is killing my guys/
Most of y'all would be really surprised/
That when the revolution start. . . . Goodluck the first nigga to die!/
I always told y’all that son was phony/
Spineless dude . . . who refused to confront his cronies/
He'd rather leave the costs to the masses to bear/
And finally, I see Nigerians spring to action this year/
We have to prepare/ to stand for the cause/
So for all out there. . . here’s a round of applause/

Ibime is still penning nursery rhymes. . . .

[img]http://www.abload.de/img/degeaojai9.gif[/img]

Save of the season!
I have never seen a goalkeeper save a freekick that clears the wall and is heading for the top corner the wall was covering.
Lindegaard failed to save similar shots from Cabaye and Kolarov.

Ibime:


[size=14pt]Petition to have Chigurh FC excluded from Nairaland FPL[/size]

         -Amangala: FPL League cannot be led by faceless cabal

Dear Eldee,

This is a watershed moment in Nairaland FPL history. Never in the history of Nairaland FPL has the league been won by an absentee and faceless manager. We the stakeholders of Nairaland FPL have some pertinent issues to raise with you, namely:

• Chigurh FC manager Sauron has not been seen on Nairaland for 18 months. How did he get the Nairaland code?
• Sauron is not here to celebrate his FPL success but Coogar seems more than happy to celebrate for him.
• How is Coogar able to access the Nairaland league and comment on the progress of teams on an intra-gameweek basis?

These disturbing events are unprecedented in FPL history. We the stakeholders thus demand that you give Sauron a 1-week ultimatum to post on this forum to prove that he is still a member of this community. Please be reminded that we only compete in this league in keeping with an esprit de corps which necessitates communication and banter with fellow players. It is therefore sine qua non for Miguel Munoz to identify himself as an involved member of this community.

It will be recalled that 2 seasons ago when the League was under the proactive administration of Ibime Tamuno, the leader of the league Mubz FC was forced to identify himself as a member of this community and was subject to the same 1-week ultimatum we now ask you to extend to the current league leader Miguel Munoz. It will also recalled that a faceless usurper called Terryfic FC was kicked out of the league because he was not a member of the community and had received the code from Reeama Reeama.

We the Nairaland FPL managers refuse to be led by a faceless cabal. The banter and camaraderie we share on these pages are the raison d’être of the league. We cannot accept faceless participants.

We therefore request that you tell us how you gave Sauron the FPL code when he was incommunicado. We also request that you petition him to identify himself as one of us or face exclusion. We would also like you to clarify the relationship between Coogar and Miguel Munoz.

You have 48 hours to respond to this request.

Signed on behalf of Nairaland FPL managers

Captain Amangala 

Fat Ibime has not changed. . . .What a tyke of a man!
I got a memo that you have been looking for me cos your arse got whooped in the FPL. . . . .

Miguel Munoz is my employee - He was brought in after Rinus Michel lost his managerial compass. . .
Since the Spaniard was brought in, Chigurgh FC's rise has been meteoric. . . . .
There's no gimmick here - This is just simply the determination, commitment and the managerial acumen of my staff.

Hello people!
Back from peacekeeping in Iraq.

stillwater:

I never envisioned you as fainthearted Sauron. Who is that woman that has made you chicken out this way over a mere relationship?

Na una Naija babes o.

stillwater:

Has nothing to do with any "Super Alpha Male" if you ask me. . . just normal human regression to boredom after you've been there and done it all. *Yawns*

It has nothing to do with boredom. . . . .It's just that today's women can stress one to a pulp.
The wahala that comes with getting into a relationship these days is damn too much. . . .Sometimes a man just wanna be a lone ranger.
He wants to take what he wants when he wants it and he wants to drop it when he can't be bovvered.

dayokanu:

Are you sure you cant use a Benzema, and Lass/Diarra. So Carrick doesnt get burdened with dfensive duties but just creativity?

Benzema is shyte. . . . .
Lassana Diarra is too technically inept to run the midfield. . . . .
The only player United need in that midfield is Sneijder(Replacement for Scholes).

Phony200:

There's no guarantee he's going to play now but yeah, great results would sure bring the floods again.

Hernandez will start against Chelsea in the Community Shield in Wembley!!!
His exploits in the World Cup has raised everyone's expectation about him so expect SAF to feature the Mexican.

ElRazur:

I think there is gradual rise of certain males who have done it all - Either married (and now separate or divorced), Have kids, Been in long term relationship etc- and now just not really fussed about relationship any more.

Folks like these have what they want in terms of modern comforts, Jobs, place of their own and what not, but are just not keen a relationship any more.  Anyone male here feel they probably belong to this new generation of Male?

Sometimes, I am wondering if there is really a need for a relationship at time. I mean, Male like this can get sex if they really wanna, but do not see the need to be attached into another round of long term relationship or something?

There will be the occasional "Ohhhhhs and ahhhhhs" when they meet new ladies, but the excitement quickly wear off after a while, and will probably need their own personal space etc, and cannot be bothered with the controlling aspect, and other wahala that comes with relationship at times.

Anyone know what am saying?


I also have a feeling, this may be applicable to some women too.

WE know what you are saying.

Phony200:

^^^^
True, but deviating now, what's up with the fans with season tickets being put on sales? I hope it won't affect attendance when the season starts. Man utd needs all the funds they can get, lol.

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1297161/Manchester-United-place-4-000-season-tickets-general-sale-blame-sales-dip-recession-fans-boycott.html?ITO=1490

When Javier Hernandez scores a brace on the opening day, fans will pay up.

eldee:

Hehehe . . . I live in England, there are lyrics websites everywhere.
I know a good punchline when I see one, Eminem doesn't do them good.

I disagree. . . .

eldee:

@DBR, Sauron
Those lines were off the top of my head, at the end of the day, they all have the same trend.
Anyone that listens will spot it . . .

Take sum everyday figurative phrase and literalise them.

It's not like the other guys that could go diverse wiv em . . . say Canibus, Budden, Lil Wayne.
It's not bad or anything, you cannot be a narrator and a punchline rapper at the same time, one has to give way for the other.

Eminem chose the narrative part, which he does better than anyone in the game, see Loose Yourself . . . he'll descibe minor things that others will ignore . . . but his punchlines are just not it.

You want me to give you ten great Immortal Technique/ Lil Wayne punchlines, I will, for Eminem, I'll have to go listen again.

I take it that Eminem's lyrics are too fast for your thought process. . . .
That's the problem you are having. . . . .U have to rewind several times to catch what he's trying to say.
Start speaking more to Caucasians. . . . .Your interaction with Mgbekes dey slow down your senses.

DBR:

U makin it sound IWUish and PDPishh!
C'mon Sauron, Hasnt Em been winning major battles in black states b4 he met Juice??
It takes nothin from Em but Juice owned him .Period!

oNe

The Rap Olympics championship was held in Los Angeles.

Eminem had to fly out from Detroit to battle Mc Juice(who was more famous than Eminem as at then) in California.
White vs Black, Foreigner vs Local, Letz face it. . . .The odds were stacked against Em. If he was Black, he woulda won the battle hands down.
The battle shoulda ended in Round 3 when Eminem cremated him but the crowd called it a DRAW.

Watch the battle again. . . .

Genuflect:

Em losing 1 battle (even though it's controversial) doesn't take anything away from him. He is still a beast!!!

In all honesty, that battle was over-controversial.
I am glad Juice said it himself that Eminem was the greatest he battled with. . . . .He knew Eminem shoulda won without a doubt.

eldee:

@Sauron

You don't need to have great punchlines to be a good battle M.C.
Eminem is a great rapper but not a punchline rapper, he even admitted that his punchlines weren't compact . . . listen to 'Won't back Down'
Eminem always tells the truth about himself, I talked about Relapse being wack, y'all said I was bullshitting, till Eminem said it himself.

He's got a very high standard. . . .so even when he says his punchlines ain't compact. . . .the level is still higher than all his peers in the industry.
Apart from Canibus(in his prime) and prolly Immortal Tech. . . . .I dunno anyone better, ma friend
Eminem is the SHYTEEEEEEEEE.

'Set fire to the mic and ignite the crowd'
'I'll cut my toes off
And step on the receipt before I foot the bill'

Trust you to bring out the basic ones. . . .

What about. . . . .

"My fillet is smoking weed, get back when the steaks(stakes) are high"

DBR:

Altho "Off the dome" battle Juice also tot Em some lessons.
Nonedaless, dont let it be a quote tied to u that Em aint boxer with them punches.

oNe

I hope you know this isn't true. . . . .

That battle was rigged.
After Eminem and Juice went SIX DRAWS. . . .The crowd gave the battle to Juice.


Now letz look at it. . . .
The crowd wanted one of their own(A Californian born) to win it and not an unknown Wigga from Detroit.
As at 1997, majority of rap fans still think it was a blasphemy for a white rapper to spit lines on a mic.