Dear Nairaland family, help with your observations.

Some months ago, I asked my woman is post my pictures on social media, though to me that was just a joke. She said the next picture of me she will upload will be our pre wedding pictures, and truely since then she has never uploaded my pics. And i do post her picture time to time.

Last week, she posted a picture of my former friend, with the caption that she misses him. I call him former friend because this guy, did everything to get us separated, he even went to the extent of trying to link her up with rich guys and always jokingly tell her to dump me.

This girl is a virgin though and I am her first guy. I am just playing around just to know the kind of girl I have been trusting for long.

ruffkenny:
Ooh so you think it is better for him to be dying slowly under the guise of relationship or die many times before his real death than to have the right kind of relationship and live happily?

What has short life got to do with being in a toxic relationship?

Except a man takes back control of the woman in his life,he would always feel small, dominated,sad and intimidated ..

It is very clear that some women will never allow u take back control once you have lost it to them in the first place esp narcissist ,that's why it is advisable for him to move on with better options or make this one right. Do u believe that this girl that is so stubborn to him can meet another stronger guy tomorrow who she will be crying for and striving to please,it all depends on how a guy plays the card,girls are all wonderful being but the way we handle them is the only determining factor to whether she will give u peace and do her best to please u or make u cry while u do your best to please her,the ball is in a man's court actually..

Still moving on with other girls will not work for him if he keep this same attitude of over pleasing girls cos sooner or later it will still get to this point where he gives out total control to the girl..

The summary is ,guys need to stop simping and be the man in control of their relationship ...

You have said it all bro, I allowed her too much control. lessons learnt.

Nonam:


Shut up and change your mumu mindset.
Who said you will not get someone more better than her? You don't need advice becos poverty has turn you to mumu

You will have sence when she teach you a regrettable lesson

That was then bro, I thought so, but now I know better.

ruffkenny:
The real problem here is not with the girl but with u,"if the foundation be destroyed "how can u save yourself..

You have shown her the nice,soft and easy part of u,always caring for her and opening up every details for her like your life depends on her validation,hence this see finish,lost of respect,getting angry and shouting at you,giving u the silent torture and making u feel less of a man cos she knows u will still be the one running to her even if she is wrong,u have indulged her so much and u have shown her indirectly that she can treat u that way. Now u have lost your self esteem and confidence to even act as a man where she is,infarct u are loosing yourself to the point she wants to even control your birthday wishes to friends. when u refuse to do what u ought to do as a man every time from your mind but do always what a girl tell u or want u to do this is always the result..

It is disheartening but u have to start acting as a real man,be more masculine and stronger than her,let her do what u want and act less concerned if she doesn't do what u want or better still,punish her by withdrawing every help or closeness u have with her little by little, withdraw your love, attention and care..If it is sex she is using to get u,don't touch her,hang out with friends and meet new people as well as new girls,and don't always spend too much time at home or around her, Find a way to bruise her ego and self esteem so she can come running back to u, you as a man is supposed to be in charge not a woman in charge of u..Never beg her at all in any case,I repeat never beg her especially when u are not wrong,The way u act towards her can either decrease or increase your self worth,if u act needy,u will decrease your ego and if u act opposite ie nonchalant and less concerned to her,u will increase your ego..Remove this scarsity mindset u have,there are many fishes in the river, she ought to know that u can easily replace her with a better girl if u want..

Spot on bro, you just said everything, everything bro.

luscioustrish:
I’m even irritated on your behalf and I’m a girl.
.
Ignore her.
Give her silent treatment.
Keep on repeating “I am a man” whenever the need arises.
Most importantly; DO NOT BEG!
.
People don’t value what they have until they lose it.

Thank you, I appreciate.

Gabkan7:

She's not intimidated by your words, she is only irritated bcus ur action are not congurent with your words.
you vibe no be am
find your class 'lol'

Funny as this may sound, but it's the truth,she said that because she didn't see how a man I was.

Gabkan7:
You can't be a comrade
accept the red flag and walk away be you a mental damage or suffer phycosis

SIMP LIKE YOU HAVE NO SELF WORTH
na for house and with you niggaz your type dey form am a man

pass me the spark

" I am a man" hahaha

Why would a girl be intimidated when her man says that he is a man and should be respected. I just tire.

LEGALSER:


Guy, you don't need any advise, you only need to stand up and walk out of that relationship stop acting and sounding Petty. You be man, act like one.

That's the truth bro, I will do just that.

ekibs11:



Dude she's giving you sign, someone wants to marry her. She pushing you away

I won't be surprised. With women everything is possible.

Ezendimmuo:


For a moment
I thought you are talking about my ex
She is everything you just mentioned

Found out she was cheating though
I left her

Are you sure she isn't loyal to someone else??

She has guys from different works of life chasing after her. Name them, the attention she gets is way too much I must say.

Slmgirldippussy:



You are a very stupid simp my brother. Can't you see this deep hole you wanna fall into yet you are seeking advise.
This is a case of see finish. I guess your girl is feeling that you are not man enough.
Pls move on

Sorry for the insult

I deserve it bro, if I tell you the full story, you will insult both my village people. I have learnt the hard way. Thanks again.

SavageBoy:


I've said it before and I'm saying it again, nobody is indispensable. No matter how useful or precious a person maybe, if such a person misbehaves, he or she will be replaced perfectly by someone who's much more valuable and more precious.

Even if someone is one in a million, we are more than 4 billion persons on earth today, that means there are about 4000 of such persons out there. So, why fear you won't get someone like her. You're worried you might not get a toxic Nigerian babe like that yeye girl you call girlfriend... oga no fall my hand na

I have learnt my lessons bro.

blinking001:
I took my time to carefully go through your post and i can clearly state the following problems

1.You're suffering from low self esteem

2.You're suffering from oneities syndrome (if i loose this girl where can i get another girl that is this wonderful and beautiful. Lol

3. You don't love yourself

4. You're the type of man that wants to be in the good books of everyone. You're a harmless man and a harmless man is a danger to himself and the society.

When men make intentional and concious plans to own houses, cars, businesses etc they usually leave out one very important item from that list which is making plans to own a good woman (if at all any exist)
This oversight is a consequence of mens inability to see women as competitions and their propensity to always view women as the weaker sex.

If men knew that women weren't as weak as the society has painted them to look then one shouldn't be making investments on a bad product and hoping it turns out great in the nearest future.
The business/investment world doesn't work out that way so does women. Even if it does, it's always a miniature phenomenon. With this points in mind, why will a man in his right senses still be with a disrespectful woman? A woman that cheats, is abusive, lies uncontrollably, is a master manipulator, is a narcissist etc? Its been proven that women with these traits are bad business and investments that should be avoided at all cost because they can never change for good and are really dangerous as they've mastered the arts of bringing great men down. Don't save them, allow them to burn in their chaos, stupidity, hopelessness, arrogance and narcissism.

Warning: avoid street girls no matter how appealing and good looking they may appear. They are mostly masculine and emotionally damaged. They rarely understand the concept of love and sacrifice. To them an act of kindness is an obligation and a show of weakness. Run away from poor and struggling women. Leave them alone. Resist the urge to save them.

Go after women from the middle class or the upper echelons of our society, they understand how to reciprocate kind gestures and are more considerate and soft hearted.

Your 4 points up there are nothing but the truth, I just thought I was loving a woman and treating women right.

RightToReject:
The only problem in your relationship is that you don't love her; instead, you are in love with her, whereas nature made it that she ought to be the one to be in love with you, all things being equal - no thanks to your lack of grit. There is no way you, as a man, can genuinely/selflessly love a woman and still continually enable her shortcomings and pander to her whims and caprices, no and never.

You are right bro, I showed her true love, respected her decision on every issue, make sure everything was about her and her happiness.

NewSoul:
You are suffering from oneitis i.e loving and commiting to only one lady and she's taking advantage of that. The major disease of oneitis is SIMPING others include begging her for forgiveness even when she's wrong, doing everything to please her.

Op anything she says she doesn't like triple down on it. That "I am a man" that she says she doesn't like. Keep reminding her anytime she's disresctful that you are indeed a man and won't tolerate any of her disrespectful behavior and that you will continue to remind her you are a man that deserves respect and if she can't respect you show her the door. No go dey smile like mumu dey talk am o . Make sure your face is like this

The main reason these ladies take you guys for granted is that you people refuse to give them wotowoto when they misbehave. Don't be afraid that she won't come back, don't be afraid of losing her there are better women than her millions of them both in looks and character . Funny thing is she would start being careful with you and not take you for granted.

Another mistake is don't argue with her, women don't take you seriously when you argue with them. You see that silent treatment you should be the one giving it to her not the other way round . Oga man up jarey.

Thanks bro, I appreciate.

SavageBoy:
Are you having self esteem and insecurity issues, maybe that's why you're scared of leaving her and you possibly think you won't get another girl or what? Because I don't understand some so-called creation of God

Exactly bro, I feel I might not get another girl like her.

H0didon:
So far so good, i can see virtually up to 10 problems there . You're dating yourself if you don't know . With all these suffering you have gone through and you are still alive?? You're a strong wonderFOOL man.
Nevertheless, if by now you haven't received sense from the stories to the comments that you've seen here, then i must commend your folly because it is a strong one. Not even the elder's word can do anything.


Some of una just dey carry problem for una selves. Woman naturally have problem. Yes they do, but the ability to find one that gives you peace of mind is the price.

I'm tempted to say this but i gotta say it sha. You're a ......mumu man because the red flag is clear but because of kpekus your brain don surrender.



As our Ancestors would say "When you see problem and still happily embrace it, just know that your case is beyond the gods"

Bro I have been a great for I know, I was just trying to show her love because according to her, it is her first relationship. She is a type that puts career serious, so she didn't date before.

Nairaland family, help a bro here, I had to open another account to post this, pls read till the end.

I have been dating this girl for more than 3 years, I will say that I have been experiencing hell fire in the past 1 year and 6 month. I know no one is perfect but the problem is too much.

She have some good sides every man will cherish, she appears decent and well brought up, but here are the problem.

1. She gets angry easily. This is a problem to our relationship because we can't have a normal conservation without quarrel, like we quarrel almost every 2 days.

2. Recently she talks to me disrespectful: if there is any small argument or disagreement among us, she talks to me like her jnr sister, not minding or caring how I feel.

3. Anytime we have a fight, she gives me the silent treatment for days and I end up apologizing even when she is wrong. When I remember her good side, I want to make peace and beg her.

4. Most times when we argue, I try telling her that I am a man and i won't take some things she does. This statement " I am a man" gets her provoke. She complained against me using that statement.

5. She does not want to be scolded, she doesn't want me to complain about wrongs she does, she believes with complains about her behavior, her self esteem will be affected. She confessed to me of having an ego.

In one of the arguments, she said I make her regret saying yes to me. Just last week, we had a small disagreement; I tried helping her recover something and since I was not able to do that, I told her I will still try and her response got me angry, she didn't appreciate the fact that I was trying, that got me angry.

I uploaded a female friends picture on WhatsApp and wished her happy birthday, my girlfriend screenshot the pic, sent it to me mocking me, calling me immature, saying that I am not mature, that if I post 100 female pictures, it won't disturb her.

This is a girl I have never cheated on for the 3 years we have dated, I respect and tell her virtually everything I do, all my plans, and she knows that I love her alone. She knows that she is the only girl I am seeing and I have promised to marry her, she also know that I am working towards marrying her.

Early this year, she phycologically abused me, she knew that I love her so much, so she was playing games with my emotions, today she will act like she is angry with me and not talk to me, when I beg she will calm to forgive me, tomorrow she will continue same thing, until she stopped when I got her in the game.

I will take all the insults, Nairaland family, what do I do here.