Tonypen247:
I think you did overreact to the situation. From what you wrote up there, the cheating you described comes from professing love to another guy and not an act of adultery. Although cheating is cheating whichever way it is committed in marriage. But you got my point though.

What you should have earlier done is discover the cause of her action by confronting her with your evidence. Get to know why she is going that length while being self-aware that she is married and has kids for you. There is no justification for such actions, but there are diplomatic ways of resolving it without making it go to the length it has gotten into.

My advice to you is to sit her down, talk sense into her, and demand to know the areas you haven't acted up to that you need to address and then forgive her with a stern warning for the sake of your children.

It is well.

funny

jeromestarks:
Marry a virgin and prevent infidelity.
Marry a virgin and have true children.
Marry a virgin and have peace.
Do otherwise and train children who aren't yours.

Do not start a serious relationship with a woman above 23 else, you will be marrying a woman with many sperm in her system.


A woman who has slept with more than one man is a curse to her children; born and unborn.

lol you never jam 18 year old with 20 body count. No small girl again ooo

I don’t know how people see this oo. I feel every one has their choice and have their reasons for not coming back. I am a single guy and I like come back to Nigeria yearly on vacation. I work back to back during the year and I feel I deserve some rest at some point in the year, then go back to continue hustle. Them no dey take vacation money from savings at once. If I want to travel in June next year , i would start keeping a separate money in my nigerian account from now.this won’t really affect what I save as I have been planning for it. I go just dey drop am small small and before u know, e don big. Also, if you book your flight on time or search google for cheap deals, you will find oo. So i don’t really think money is the issue. For pple I have met personally, it’s either paper no complete or they are not just interested, especially with the insecurities in Nigeria.

I love Nigeria but I no fit stay there again. Na visit fit that place. Also, I feel I can’t be working back to back yearly and won’t even enjoy my money small, na others go dey enjoy am. Just do what makes you happy

Ekpekus:

The question begging for answer is why can't you save more than 200CAD as a single person in Canada?

simple, people’s lifestyle differ.

Amb1045:
this is just normal daily activity eee no need the awareness you're trying to create. Banging different girl no need hype or you coming to social media to claim champion, its childish and a stupid act from you. Grow up kiddo. Go and double your hustle make God put butter for your bread. Stop calling women names, stop hyping women private part nothing dee there. Women Toto na just flesh mixed with sticky solution. Sorry you're still young, you no go understand

but in a sane society, an autopsy is meant to be carried out

Victoria938:
Whenever you are financial stable and responsible as an adult. When you are ready to take care of yourself properly.

For some people that’s earlier, for some that’s later.

no mind some motivational speaker wey go come here dey tel us say them leave house at 15. Leave house and being responsible for your self na two different things. I can leave house at 15 to stay with someone who go dey feed me dey pay rent. I left at 26 and I dnt regret it Cus I left when I was very ready and can’t go back

Das1mama:
Good afternoon my fellow Nairalanders, without wasting much of your time, I'm in a very serious debt of 10k, which majority of the money went for my drugs and foodstuffs both me and my son. I'm treating Ulcer and also i'm allergic to pneumonia.

I was given till Friday this week to pay him or i face the embarrassment and shame. Lokoja precisely in kogi state, job vacancies are less here compared to other places and the issue of accommodation has being my blockage all this while, to ascertain my genuineness, you can go through my previous threads have made. I'm not a lazy man, I can do any type of job or work if a chance will be given. God Almighty bear me witness. Pls help a Single father of one.

all of us get debt

Ehinjuola:
Hello NLders,

This brother of mine need an advice

Let me just hit the nail on head.

There's this lady that we've been dating for 4 years now in which we had a misunderstanding which leads to our break up for good one year but for some reasons and prophecies we reconciled.

The issue on ground now is that, the lady in question told me after we settled the issue that, there's this guy she's dating before the reconciliation and he was the one that established for her and before she can fully reconcile with me or rather leave the guy (seems the guy is a yahoo boy with a proof though) it will be until December time cause she still need to collect something from the guy before she can finally break up with him cause her fund has not yet fully paid for the business (As I'm typing this now, she's living with the guy base on accommodation issue cause they're in the same location) and she claims she really loves me though I'm not financially buoyant to say but I thank God I'm not begging and I can still fend for my needs + God bless me with handsomeness.

Is not as if i'm SIMPing neither do I not have a choice but my concern is everywhere I go for divine intervention this vision about this lady will always surface out, how she being the one meant for me if I want to have a happy family and good home in future in which everywhere she goes too the same prophecy will also comes out for her.
Even during the time we are still quarrelling my mum told me a derange man walk up to her and say the same thing about us (the girl and I) and I'm ready to settle down next year and she knows all this.

Plz help a brother and I'm confuse and depressed in fact I am not concentrating on my job again.

person dey bang ur wife and u know but u dey use prophecy cover am. Lol, uncle u never know wetin dey sup

abbey621:
What most people don't know about the U.S or abroad in general is that it can either be a dream or a nightmare. I have never seen a hardworking, smart and intelligent Nigerian fail to make it here, yes it will be difficult, yes it can be rough but most people end up being in a better state than they were when they left 9ja. Now back to the topic, many Nigerians here are forced to forget partially or completely about Nigeria due to the number of hours you have to spend at work, raising a family and so on. An average trip to Nigeria will cost you at least $3000 to $5000 dollars when you count ticket, hotel and other costs. Most Nigerians can't save that much in a year, in fact most Americans can't save that in a year. The real Nigerians suffering here are the illegal immigrants, they can't work a decent job, they can't leave the country and are constantly watching their backs. Hopefully with the emergence of a new Nigeria under GMB, many of the illegal immigrants can come back to 9ja and make something of their lives!

lol. How far the new nigeria with buhari

Ablemed:
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I'm tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now

no body put you in any mess. You just dey find who you blame because many of us are like this too. At least you even saved that much during nysc. Some of use only carry dat month money wey dem pay us come back house. Secondly, which kind business u wan even think of with that amount. Even I can’t think of a business for 270k. Oga brace yourself, u still get time. And u must not always agree or listen to your parents. You be adult. Make your own decisions and take full responsibility

Blackdeewhy:
You probably have parents bankrolling you all this while or probably you're among the born lucky ones.
But you see people like us, I've been working since age 13 and I started living on my own at 17/18. So paying bills, and other utilities has always been NO BE NEW THING.
So my dear, nothing is wrong with you.
YOU JUST DONT SEE A REASON TO WORK FOR YOUR MONEY which I envy. So enjoy yourself love...

lol una don start. Did you start paying rent at 18?

Womanwoman:


My conscience wouldn't let me

is it until you get an STI you will realize what’s happening

Womanwoman:


My conscience wouldn't let me

what I am saying is, he won’t tolerate this from you, why shld you take it multiple times.

Womanwoman:
Hello guys, I recently opened this account solely for this purpose. It's going to be a long read, please bear with me. I need very sincere and mature advice(s), please.

My husband and I have known each other for 11 years, (I was 16 years old and a university fresher. He's 3 years older). We've been married for 5 years, and have two boys. He's a very adventurous person whose job necessitates him to travel frequently. I always accompanied him on his numerous journeys while we were single. I am a freelancer and have my time to myself, provided there is light and internet. Throughout the time we courted, we travelled, explored strip clubs, parties and all..including churches..lol. I have never had him cheat on me….well, not until we got married and had our first child.

At that time, my hormones got messed up and I had a very low sex drive. I was overwhelmed with having to cater for my baby owing to the fact that I live in a different state from my mum - she came over and spent a short while with me when I had my baby. I had a help come over thrice a week solely to clean the house, while I attend to my baby. My husband, as usual, travels interstate for his work. He also performs his responsibilities and I really appreciate his sacrifice for the family.

I complained to a gynecologist who prescribed some medications to balance my hormones. I'll tell you that I even had to use the regular aphrodisiacs alongside. It finally balanced about a year and half and everything went fine. A year after, I conceived of my second, and the hormonal imbalance and everything that happened with the first, happened. This is with me trying to find my way around it.

Well, I found out my husband employed the services of escorts on about 3 occasions especially when he travels. I confronted him sternly and I even made jokes about it - I didn't want to be too harsh, and I wanted him to open up to me completely. I didnt want my actions to push him outside further. He mentioned that I sex starved him, and he didn't want to make me feel any worse by being persistent. We resolved it, and I mentioned never to go through his phone again.

He employed a new staff in February this year, and I was part of those in the selection process. I wish that never happened. I wish I was against her employment.

In April, the kids and I had to travel to another state (where his small company is located) just to say hi. He comes home frequently, and sometimes spends a considerable time at home, but this time, the kids were on holidays so we travelled.

It was there that I found out that he was having an affair with his staff. I confronted him, he cried, begged, and promised it won't happen again…talking about how much his staff respects and is scared of me, bla bla. Again, I let it slide. Whatever he had with his staff continued, and they became extra careful about it, but in one way or the other, I found out again - in june-, and as usual, he begged (this is with me being as civil as possible. Before we got married, I used to be the type that before he says A, I'll have said A-Z). But overtime, I intentionally stopped that attitude.

I forgave him and everything became normal, not for it to happen the third and fourth time with him begging each time. During these periods, I have been careful not to involve family because I feel they can be biased with each party supporting their own, coupled with the fact that the situation will linger on, especially in the mind of my family members even though my husband and I reconcile. They might cause them to have a resentment towards him.

The wahala now is that this thing has happened again, and he has been begging. I have asked him to sack her, but his excuse is that it will affect his work as it's a contract job. He said he'd relieve her once the contract is over. He has promised one last time, but I told him that I find it hard to take his word. This time, I really raised my voice with my old Margaret Thatcher's attitude…lol. I lashed him severely with unkind but very choosy words such as "a liar from the pit of hell, and hitting him hard about how unable he is to control his libido. I was hurt. He has promised and reneged countless times, and I now fear that the trust in my marriage is broken.

Even though I am hurt, I don't want to be separated from my family. This is because my parents were separated when I was little, and I knew how tough it was, growing up. Due to the separation, I don't have a good relationship with some of my siblings because the four of us were separated with two being with my dad, and the remaining two of us being with my mum. I never had a single fatherly love. None.

I don't want the same to happen to my kids. What can I do, Please? I still love him, but I am seriously heartbroken and do not trust him anymore because he'll still have to continue working with the said girl.

I am currently on family planning and at the same time trying to balance my hormones. I'm tired.

cheat on him once and see if he forgives you. You are taking too much rubbish

RedMac:
Marry her first if u love her, her level of education does not matter, if especially she's Willing to further her education... You are both young and can still hustle to get good source of financial income as times goes on... To further your education and hers

But don't ever make that mistakes of investing your money in her education when u have not yet married her... If you do, you will not like yourself afterwards

turn this table around, will a lady lower her standards for a guy? See make we dey talk tru jareh

dododawa1:
leave your comfort zone

to where? Your house? Mtcheew person no get money to chop u dey talk this one. Na so dem dey tel me dat year. If I had left my comfort zone without a plan, I for still go back that zone. Motivational speakers

gameova:
Good evening everyone. I'll make it short and simple. I'm 31 years old guy. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I think someone should suggest a very good pastor to me for deliverance. I'm basically not progressing in life. Can't afford to feed even once daily. Unmarried and not in a relationship cos most relationships ended due to my broke state

I'm a graduate of public administration 2:2, since I served in 2017, I have been basically jobless. Can't even boast of 1k right now. My mates we finished together in school are way ahead of me financially, maritally and otherwise. Some of my friends that are into Yahoo advised me to join but because of the fear of God I refused. Now I see them buying cars and building houses and travelling abroad while am left with nothing. The economy is terrible. I need a breakthrough please. I'm tired of living like this. It's not like I'm not making effort, I am. I've put my hands in some business here and there but it's all been fruitless. I need suggestion of a strong man of God to pray for me because I'm losing it honestly and seriously depressed. God bless.

dust your Cv, find a school around and start teaching. Start from somewhere. I was depressed like you some years back and I even wrote a thread that made front page here on nairaland. I started from small but I never depised the days of little beginnings. Today, I am
Not yet where I want to be but I am very very far from where I was. Start from small even if na 30k salary, dnt just be idea

Willbright:
Sometimes you just try to do your all, but your all might not be enough. Had to open a new account to hide my identity.

I have this girlfriend or let me say fiancé( I’m planing to do the normal rights in December) then we get married next year. Both families have met and things are going on fine. I stay in UK just completed my masters.

My fiancé on the other hand works in a bank in Nigeria, she got the job this year. She does not lack anything and I do send her stipends from time to time .Lately anytime we talk she has been telling me most of the guys at work have been asking her out on a date bla bla bla she would just brief about it and we will talk about other things. I really didn’t take it serious.

Yesterday we where talking again and she made mention of it again, this is like the 5th time she is talking about it, and to be honest a feel a little bit sad. I have been here for 2years and never in my life have I even gone out with a girl. She told me she is already feeling like going out with this guy that he is nice.

Told me this guy threats him special and he is even the manager where she works.this is someone I call my fiancé, I told her I’m not comfortable with her going out with the man and she said it’s just a date. I’m boiling inside and I don’t want to overreact, in the past this same man have adviced her to leave me saying I’m too far away and I have warned her severally never to have anything to Do with him. The thing is it’s like she has made up her mind already, the man also drop her off everyday after work and she stays alone.
Am I overreacting by trying to call it off?

There is no day we talk and she won’t bring this particular guy up in her talks, I’m seriously fed up. Why go on a date with someone if you are in a relationship?

take this from me, they are banging your girl. She is just telling you this ones for formality sake. I am hundred percent sure. If you doubt, Dnt tell her when you coming back to Nigeria, surprise her and immediately request for her phone. You will get all your answers. If you announce your arrival, it will gv her time to erase and block them

Shammak:
Hello beautiful people,

I am looking for a condo or a room apartment very close to the University of Manitoba. I’d appreciate any leads to getting one. Thank you

facebook market place

Oluwatoyink:
Good day everyone,
I'm 21 and because of ASUU strike has been doing some jobs which I earn little from.

I planned to save them to buy a new phone and the likes.

But if a bill arises like NEPA bill, Gas filling etc and no one is around, I usually foot the bill.

This had made me spend unplanned.

As I cannot ask my parents for a refund , what do I do?

i no understand, no b the gas una dey cook wetin una go chop? Or u no dey use the light? Show your parents you are responsible by doing these things. You are not too young to contribute at home,

officialJP:
Like right now am dying still cant believe it my chest is paining me.

give us full gist

Amotolongbo:
Are you married?

If not, there is nothing conjugal about your right sir

are they married? Why is she collecting money

Loveisnotenough:


Which work you day do? Na heart attack go finish you. My good friend talk say every girl get guys way Dem day send nudes.

no worry about my heart. I go dey alright but I must check

1EmmyKay:
So I just broke up with this bae, cos she disrespect me a lot, I told her of all the shi she's been doing(cheating, no access to her phone, untruthful), this is the height of it, was talking to her she was on call, I was like can't u just hold the call or excuse ursef, another instance is talking to her and she uses the word 'abegi ' severally when replying, so now I broke up with her and blocked all contact.
Is it right ?

very right. I can’t ever take a girl who doesn’t let me check her fone serious

boma10:
Gudday my fellow nairalander's, please i have a girl i want to get married to and she has agreed to marry me too,we are 1 yeas old in the courtship,but the issue is that for the past 4 month she has meet wit 4 different men,bt she told me 1,i found out the rest on her chat and she plead to it,i love her so much and she knew and provide for her on the ground that she is okay,plz wat should i do? Help me out

take her bro, mine was with six. I don discharge her, I forgive her but can’t continue

Heathrow44:



if ur own sister is behaving like this, do u think someone dat u claim t be ur "friend is better? someone that is not related to u, omo let me tell u, the best attitude u can ever get is from ur own family, Both u and ur sis, need to trash this out, the economy is hard and is also hard for u, besides where's the husband of ur sis in all this, abi is she a single mother, if she is then both of u should reach a compromise, No body would ever take care of ur child like ur own sister, even if she maltreats them, is nothing compared to wat ur so called friend would do, if u think ur own sis is a cash cow go ahead and give ur child to ur friend, abi u want the husband of ur fiend 2 rape d child continously, if it happens do u think ur friend would av d conscience to tell u, when ur friend and ur daughter is walking in d Road, she might easily forget ur daughter in d bus and go down cos she no get value 4 ur girl, she only realizes when she gets t work that she left ur girl in d bus, u would hear eweeeo! Leave ur daughter with ur sis and let both of u talk and reach a compromise, she should be willing to take her own children to lesser schools, ration food, cut down on luxuries, basic necessity are Food, clothing, Home and water, education for a child another is luxury

some friends are even better than ur family member

Cutehector:
My dear, come back home, pick your daughter and go back. Nobody will take care of your own blood more than you will ever do.

like e easy

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

cut it off when they are leaching you

franchasofficia:
Being the biological father of a child is not enough to qualify you as the child's father. Whoever raises and takes good care of a child till the child grows up is the father of that child.



Op, your friend have no legal backing to claim the child because its more like he sold the child at birth or even before birth.


Your friend should lick his wounds and move on

what are you saying?

advanceDNA:


She destroyed her own life when she decietfully pushed someone else's child on another man....
dont come here to make her look like the victim becos the truth has caught up with her years of lies....

the real father deserves access to his child..

Why are we like this in this country??

exactly

Nonexisting:
I don't have pity for vaginarians. The evil that they do in their hoe phase will always catch up with them one way or another. If you decide not to tell your guy that you found her, you have failed as a friend you claim to be and make no mistakes about it, he will definitely find his daughter. The olosho can not hide for long. She committed crime against humanity by committing paternity fraud and will never go unpunished.

i concur. You don’t expect karma not to turn up. Please tell the guy

Jennyclay:
Which one is "I told her no problem but have not promised her" why are you beating around the bush? . If you're broke just tell her you're a broke man, she won't bite you.

Just a little financial favor she asked that requires a YES/NO answer... You're here telling the whole wide world.

You should have gone to CNN to announce that she asked you for money nah!

Nonsense!!

see them