7) Hausa songs are always in a hurry...
That makes me wonder if the artist is
using a stolen guitar.

Please be careful of who you help oooo, I
was bathing my neighbor chicken in hot
water. Now I'm being called a thief

9) I've deleted all Eminem's songs on my
phone , even my mom doesn't shout at me
like that.

10) I no longer see primary school pupils
wrapping their books with Newspapers or
calender.Our culture is really gone

11) My life is so private that no one even
knows tomorrow is my 3 years old son's 7th
birthday.

12) My mom kept fish on the table and I ate it,now
she said I should check under the table if
the Rat is dead.
Please,which rat is she talking about??

Who is interested to read the next page of HOLIDAY AT A STRANGE LAND??

***LAUGH WITH SIVAN***
I bet my phone that you will smile,click this link to confirm https://www.nairaland.com/6737098/laugh-sivan#105518795

1) You think you know all different ways of stealing until you get to Ojuelegba,Lagos,where they will steal your phone but your earpiece will continue playing music until you get home.Fear Lagos

2) It only Nigerian police that will stop your car and said..."Oga,your plate number is Lagos.What are you doing in Sokoto? You are under arrest for illegal confusion

3) I called her last night and said,"I miss you honey".Her mother replied,"Honey is sleeping,you are talking with the bee"

4) Who else notice this? Yoruba people shout on phone,Igbo people lie on the phone,while hausa people always call the wrong number.

5) You borrow my gas to boil water and I am percieving beans...Neighbour,why na!

6) Black people will never believe you are sick until you start refusing delicious food.

***LITERATURE****

*GENRE: PROSE.

*TYPE: COMEDY.

*AIM: TO PUT SMILE ON THE BORED OR SAD READERS.

*MOTTO: YOUR SMILE IS MY CONCERN.

*BY: SIVANSTAR

Really interesting

Dear readers,
your opinion and suggestion are absolute appreciate

__________PAGE 7

___The next Morning,he joined the other people at a large hall where they all took their seat on a chair that was set in a neat and rhyme row.He was puzzled on why they were in the hall and what are they waiting for as all of them were silent.The big hall which was now filled with many strange and unknown people was silent as a grave-yard.

___He had sat beside the french-boy and thought of asking their mission there but later mute his thought when he saw how silent was everybody.Nobody talk,stand,giggle or laugh but remain silent.

___Then all of a sudden,a smoke bursted out from nowhere on the big platform at the front of the hall and a laugh followed afterward.

___A tall man with a four hands appear on the stage laughing and then clapping his hand childishly with his four hand.It amazed Ola a lot on how the man got an extra hand under his normal hand.

___The four-hands man clap his upper hand once and a microphone appeared on his upper left hand.He then cleared his throat and his voice came out of nowhere at every angle of the hall.This really amazed Ola a lot as he saw no speaker or any technology instrument that can bring out his voice so loud like that.

___"Good morning my good Omozonians,today is a new day for us.........Oh,I mean for you.....".
He then giggled childisly and clap his hand again."Wizron!!!",he called out and the flying draft appeared on the stage magically like how the four-hands man did.
___" Monsieur" -meaning 'sir '.
___"Where is my Morning cookies?"
___"The baker is still on his way,Sir"
___"What!",he exclaimed and started crying like a baby but with no tears.The hall was then filled with his baby-crying sound.
___"I am sorry,Sir",the flying draft pleaded.

___"Will somebody take this baby to his mama",Ola said smiling and was shocked that his voice came out loud to every corner of the hall like how the four-hands man's voice was coming out loud and then every eyes in the hall were set on him.

___"Who said that?!",the four-hands man shouted and all hands pointed at him.
___"Oh my! It the new boy",the flying draft muttered silently.

___"Come out here,I will take you to your mama",he said clapping his hand again.

___Ola stood up and walked up to the stage.When he mounted the stage,the four-hands man giggled and then called out one of his guard."Set ready the lion's plate,his breakfast is coming in",he ordered and then faced Ola smiling."Yeyeyeyeyeyeyeye",he giggled hysterical.

•••••••••EPISODE 2
••••••THE SOLUTION

**After the Mathematics examination**

•••SIVAN: I swear,those in charge of the exam won't die well

•••ALEX: Why are you so upset about the exam??

•••SIVAN: Don't you know I bet my phone on it,now I will lose my Infinix hot 5 Lite to a small nokia button phone...

•••ALEX: You are such a baby,how can you do that?

•••SIVAN: But I am more mature than your papa,your who papa who still shout UP NEPA when NEPA bring light

•••••funke!!!!!!!

•••ALEX: I rest my case oo

•••SIVAN: I must visit Mr Johnbull tomorrow,Shebi it next week that we are having English?

•••ALEX: See this mumu,na tomorrow.

•••SIVAN: funke be that oo,no wahale,English no hard.

•••ALEX: Hope so.Bye

•••SIVAN: See you tomorrow then.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°THEY DEPARTED
______________________________________________

••••••••••• AT MR JOHNBULL HOUSE•••••••••••

•••MR JOHNBULL: Welcomu my Sonu,how sku today?

•••SIVAN: Fine Sir.I come here because we are having English tomorrow.I want you to teach me English.

•••MR JOHNBULL: My Sonu,you have camed to the right place.English is the simpler subject in the world if you followeding it's rule.

•••SIVAN: Tell me Sir.

•••MR JOHNBULL: Past tense and present tense must took a verb with 'ED' at it back. Example: He wented to market yesterday.Two,all continous verb must took 'ED' and 'ING'.Example is He always wenteding to the market.

•••••chaaiiii!!!!! Ayemi temi ****

•••SIVAN: That all?

•••MR JOHNBULL: Yes my Sonu.

•••SIVAN: My God my God,A1 sure for me.
Thank you sir.

¤¤¤THE ADVENTURE OF SIVAN¤¤¤

Read the newest funny story of a naughty Sivan who is ready to explore and try new things.

LET LAUGH TOGETHER
https://www.nairaland.com/6732584/adventure-sivan#105423278
by sivanstar

•••••••••EPISODE 1
••••THE EXAMINATION•••••

•••DAD: Sivan! How on hell should you be with your phone when you are having mathematics exam this morning?

•••SIVAN: Easy dad,math na easy.
••You know what,if I get A1,I will stop using my Infinix hot 5 Lite and you will buy me iPhone 11 Pro Max.
••But if I fail,collect my Infinix and buy me small nokia button phone.

•••DAD: *smiling*
••My son my son,I swear this exam sure for you.I trust you na my mathematician son.It a promise.

•••SIVAN: Abi na,Dad,what is math that you want to have heart attack.

•••••••••• •••••••••••

** IN THE EXAMINATION HALL**

•••SIVAN: *Revising the obj answer*
•• DDBCABBDAB....AACDBA......

•••SUPERVISOR: *Distributing the question*
•••For this year math exam,no obj but theory only.

•••••funke!!!!!!!

•••SIVAN: No vex now,I have also memorized the theory solution.

•••A FRIEND: O boy! This one different from the one we see oo!!!

•••••chaaiiii!!!!! Ayemi ooo

°°°°°QUESTION PAPER
°°°°INSTRUCTION: Answer 5 question out of the above 7.
°°°1 hour only

1) If a man spent the total sum of 2.7 million naira in his life-time,find the year he die if he was born in 1981. (25 marks)

2) A man took 62 oranges to his family house,he gave 30 to his parent,15 to his uncle,10 to some small children and 7 to his ex.He die the second day.Calculate his age. (25 marks)

3) If 6,152 grains of rice make one cup of rice,how many grains of rice will make two truck of dangote rice? (25 marks)

4) A man 2.1 metres tall who stood on a building 12.8 metres tall sighted a tree that is 3.1 metres tall,Calculate the tree distance to the sun. (25 marks)

5) Angle of elevation of the top of a tree from point 27metres away and on the same horizontal ground at the foot tree is 30°.Calculate the wideness of the ground. (25 marks)

6) If the distance between Nigeria and Ghana is 1013 km,Calculate the distance between Nigeria and America. (25 marks)

7) Calculate the probability that Ronaldo will score 3 goals in a match. (25 marks)

••••••BEST OF LUCK
________________________________________________
•••••••••••••• 30 mins later•••••••••••••••

•••SUPERVISOR: You,why crying? The time till remain 30mins

•••SIVAN: I want to ask if anyone know where they are doing andriod phone give-away ..................

••••Welcome to the Adventure of Sivan,a funny naughty boy who is always ready to explore and try something new.
But sometimes,it led him to destruction.........


♠All right reserved♠
No part of this story maybe
reproduced,rewritten,copy or
stored in a retrieval system,or
transmitted in any form or by any
means without the prior
permission from the sole owner
of the work.
Contact:
sherifdeenolad@gmail.com

♥♥Let put the fear of God in all
what we do.
"YOU SHALL SURELY
REAP WHAT YOU SOW"
♥♥

__________PAGE 6

___"Welcome OMZN1052",A draft flying man said from a distant when they arrived the room.

___Ola was surprised on how the man was on the air and he saw two small wings attached to his back which allowed him to be flying on air.

___"I will be going now",the brown coat man said and dissappear instantly.
___"You didn't even tell me where I will be staying",Ola muttered after the man had disappear.
___ "I will be doing that",the flying draft replied him with a smile.
___"What is my purpose here?",he asked feeling weak.
___"To join the other in working for this land",he answered.
___Ola stared at him in amazement for some moment and then yawn.

___"OMZN1045!",The flying draft called out.
___ "Yes,sir!",a voice replied from the inner room.


___A young boy came outside and stood at the front of the flying draft.
__He was older than Ola to his calculation and he wonder how many innocent people had been brought to this strange land.

___"Take him to his bed and let him settle and rest,aller".He ordered.
___"Suis-moi,youngu man",he said facing Ola and he sensed the boy as a typical french boy".
___He followed him not sure of what he meant by Suis moi.
The boy led him to a large room which he later understood as the bedroom because many double-bed stood beside each other in a three row.Each bed had some luggage beside it.Luggage like sack containing something,farm instrument and a wooden box.
___The boy pointed at a lower-bed and told him that was his own bed.
__On the bed,there was a sack lying on it and Ola picked it up and checked inside the sack.It was containing two piece of shirt and trowser.

___"That you cloth,you must lan how to always let you cloth rimain clin and wash it immediately it git dirty",he said in a friendly tone.
___"What!Two cloths",he replied dismayed.
___"Be happy you git cloth,what if you don't",he said moving closer to him."Git a rest now,you have a lot of work to do tomorrow".
___"Are you happy being here?",Ola asked eager for an answer.
___"No...no...no",he answered him nodding his head negatively.
___"Why don't you then try to escape from here?"
___"Mon ami,this is your home...forever",he answered stressing the last word.
___"Never!This won't be my home forever.I got my own real home".he replied shocked with his word.
___"Stop decieving youself and accept you destiny",he said and then placed his hand on his shoulder,"Du repos".
___"Meaning?",he asked confused.
___"Rest.You have many thing to do tomorrow.Welcome to Omozon".He ended smiling.

_______ ♣CHAPTER 2♣
________ PAGE 5

___ They reached near a gate and Ola could saw two man dressing in black long coat standing beside the gate.When they reached the two man spot,they stopped the car and one of the man came to the driver's window.
___ Ola could now see the man's face clearly,it was very black,indeed a black man.His eyes was mysteriously glowing and he held a metal rod.

___ "Olawale Ademola coming in",the man in brown coat said to the mysterious man and he stepped back like what he said was an 'entering word'.
__ They drove inside the unknow land but what put Ola to confusion was the absence of a single house.He did not saw any house or small hut on the land but all he could see was working-man.They all held an axe and they were digging a hole,big one to his thinking as there were many men digging.


___"Let go and register your name",the man in brown coat said as the driver parked beside a huge tree.
___"Register my name...for what?",Ola replied puzzled.
___"You will soon understand",he answered and held his hand.
___"But where,I don't see any.......",he didn't competed his word when they somehow reappeared to a room.He was shocked and surprised at the same time.

__In the room,he saw a man standing beside a high table,the man's eyes was also glowing and he was wearing a black coat.
___ The brown coat man walk up to the man and Ola followed him.

___"Name?",he asked in a voice that sound scary to him.
___"Olawale...Ademola",he answered shakingly.
___"Sex?",he asked again after he had note down his name.
___"None,I am still young",he replied.
___"Gender you fool!"
___"Oh! Male".he quickly corrected himself.
___"Your new name is now OMZN1025"
___"What! How can I remember that?"
___"Take",he replied and gave him a small piece of paper.
___It inscripted "OMZN1052".

___They man in brown coat held his hand again and they disappear from the room to another strange room.

Thanks,
I am really glad you enjoy it

♣♣YOU CAN STILL DO IT♣♣ Do you want to stop now?? Do you want to stop now because you got fed up,facing difficulties or thinking you can't do it anymore...... SURELY YOU CAN! **(As a student):"I can't know or pass this subject,it very difficult". Why can't you?? Those that are passing or knowing it didn't know it before but they started knowing it due to continuous studying. Never think it too late,surely you can still achieve something by the little time remain because a house is not built in a day **You can do it by making sure you gain or achieve something before you go to bed everyday and ask this question before you sleep,"what did I gain today?". **Don't wait for opportunity to study to come but create it instantly or else you will end saying I will study it tomorrow until you didn't till the time you need it or start exam which will be too late* Do the study right away and know it once and for all. Verily, "Step by step,you can achieve your dream".
"Brick by brick,a house is built"
"Study by study,a knowledge is achieved"
"Forget later,do it now". #sivanstar

.

__PAGE 4__
___ He was hearing some disturbing sound and he opened his eyes.Gosh! This isn't a dream,he thought as he was brought back to reality.

___ He realized he could now move his head and he raised up his head.The man in brown coat faced back and looked at him smiling,"How was your nap?".
___ Ola didn't reply but was looking out through the window to see where they were and he was shocked when he saw nothing but cloud.
___ "CLOUD!!! Where are we?Please where are you taking me to?"He asked thinking they were in the sky.

___ "We are taking you to Omozon land,you will be okay if you coperate with us.As you can see,we are in the sky,no one can hear you screaming for help".
___ "Omo....what? Please,what do you want from me? I need to take my younger brother from his school,my parent would be worried about me,I have to give our turkey their evening food".He replied in a crying tone.
___ "Once in a month,Omozon produce a list of people that must be brought to the land and we do the picking of the name in the list.Your name came up for September".The man in the brown coat explained.
____ "Are you a spirit,ghost or what? Omozon must have made a mistake,I don't even know him" He inquired curiously.
___ "Omozon Messenger.Aren't you Olawale Ademola",He answered with a dead smile.
"NO!,I am Ademola Olawale",he quickly answer.
___ "Both are the same",the man replied.

___ Soon,Ola sighted some green object from a distance and when they were closer,he realized they were trees.They were approaching a thick forest.Or is it a forest? Big no,it wasn't but a jungle.
Like the one he use to see on the television.It was a wide jungle,different tree is sighted here and there.short and tall tree stood side by side.He no longer see the cloud anymore but tree and bushes.
___ "When will I return home?" He asked eager for an answer.
___ "This is your home.....forever".The man in brown coat answered without looking back.

___ So,this is the end for me,he thought silently and a drop of tears fell from his eyes."What is this place?",he questioned himself silently.

__PAGE 3__

___ His eyes was closing with his knee and elbow becoming weak.
What happening to me? he thought silently as he found himself going down but he was catched by the man in brown coat.

__ He opened the back door and helped him inside into the car.He was trying to scream 'KIDNAPPER!' but no voice was coming out from his mouth.

__ He sat on the car-seat unconsciously,scared and looking at the strange man.He predict those man are either going to kill him,use him for ritual or slaughter him and cut his body as how he heard that some kidnappers kidnap people for human part like head,eyes or heart.

__He heard the man telling the driver that he should start the car and the car was started and they left the area.

__ His heart was pounding as he remember his parent,siblings and his dear friend,Titi.
__ Is this the end? Will they not be seeing me again? Will I die now without telling Titi I love her?
Then his mind shifted to his mobile phone in his bag but what the use,he can't lift neither his hand nor his leg.

___ Is this all a dream? He was questioning himself rhetorically but hell no,it wasn't.He could feel his body,his heart was beating faster and he was lying on the car-seat unconsciously.His thought was ended when sleepness arrived unannounced.

Contact: sherifdeenolad@gmail.com

.

Sivanstar

__PAGE 2__

___This had allowed them to be going home together and tightened their friendship.With their tight friendship,Ola never for once try to express his love-feelings to her as he fear it may upset her and destroy their friendship.

__With this,he sticked with the being a friend with her and promised himself to express his feelings to her when they graduate from SS3.

Titi had been the prettiest girl she had met.
He sighed when he reached his younger brother's school and he was about to cross to the other side where the school stood when a brown toyota car parked at his front.He was angry on how the driver parked at his front.


__The man sitting beside the driver alighted from the car and approached him.
___ "Hey schoolboy!",the man who was wearing a brown coat and a black hat called him.
"Yes",he replied curious what the man want from him.
___"You are following us somewhere".the man said and injected him with a sharp object.

___He wanted to scream for help but his voices wasn't coming out and he felt a sudden weakness in his body.He tried to move his leg to run away from the man but his leg betrayed him by not moving,it was like his leg was glued to the spot.

___________ ♣CHAPTER 1♣
__PAGE 1__
__ They ended their discussion when they arrived the T-Junction.They had been discussing since they left the school and it was like it should last forever.
__ He then looked at her with a sudden sad face and she noticed this strange mood.

__ "What wrong?",She asked curiously.
__ "I am going to miss you,it will be after four weeks when we can see each other again",he said looking at her eyes.
"Won't we be calling each other?
It just a month not a year".
__ "Well you are right.Hope you enjoy your holiday in Lagos",he added smiling.
__ "And you too",She replied and they departed.

__Ola break into a run when he remember he was to fetch his younger brother from his school.He attend Topstar International School and he was in SS2.

__ They had collected their result card that faithful day and he was eager to arrive home as he took 2nd position.

__ Titi was his crush ever since he was in SS1.She was tall,light in complexion and with a long eyebrow.She was a gentle girl who avoided mingle with guys.She and Ola had been her friend when her parent moved to Ola's area.

¤¤HOLIDAY AT A STRANGE LAND¤¤
A story of an experience of a school boy who was brought to a strange land known as OMOZON without his will.A land where there is no exit door nor Internet service.
During his stay and struggle to escape from this strange land,he battled with love,adventure,pain,partnership and betrayal.




♠All right reserved♠
No part of this story maybe reproduced,rewritten,copy or stored in a retrieval system,or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission from the sole owner of the work.
Contact: sherifdeenolad@gmail.com


♥♥Let put the fear of God in all what we do."HE WHO STEAL OTHER PEOPLE STORY WITHOUT PERMISSION WILL SURELY HAVE HIS/HER STORY STEAL WITHOUT HIS/HER PERMISSION.YOU SHALL REAP WHAT YOU SOW"
♥♥


Please dear member,comment on this whether I try or it need more improvement,thanks♥

Greetings to all member here,
Please Admin or Moderator,I am interested in writing stories,how and where can I do that here?