wirinet:

You friend willingly chose to abide by tradition of the east, probably due to love.He cannot be forced. I also have an example thats close to me.

One of my wife's uncle is is famed for being irresponsible as he is a drug addict, has 8 children from 4 different women. His live in lover with whom he has an 18 year old daughter died just about 8 months ago. Mind you this man is pure igbo and the live in girlfriend is yoruba. When she became critically ill, he was not even around yo take her to the hospital. He is often away from home for days at a time. He never even visited her at the hospital. When she died and was informed, he switched off his phone and could not be reached for days. No one told the family of the woman before they settled the medical bills and took her to her family house for burial. He never attended the burial. When we jokingly said, the family would come for him, he told us he will be waiting. This man is pure "jaguda ". The family only came one day to pack the woman's belonging.

This man would even gladly dash the daughter to the wife's family and has to be forced to pay her school fees.

What I am getting at is that the girls family is exploiting the fact that the OP is gentle and has conscience. If he was an area boy or "jaduda", they won't dare ask for bride price not to talk of threatening.

Yes, I agree sharia ( the criminal aspects) violates the constitution. But then it is only practiced in the North. Why do the easterners want to impose their own sharia outside the east?



This is a fallacy. Please quote relevant sections of the Nigerian constitution or any law that supports this. The only thing a court needs to determine paternity is a birth certificate or a court ordered DNA test.

Now does this your fabled law apply through out the whole world, throughout Nigeria or throughout the East?

Lol its not fabled law..its a simple fact that the man has no claim on that child if the family choose to go the route of the court room, a simple analogy.. if the said woman was richer than the man and has properties, will the man automatically inherit said property?the court recognises only valid certificate of marriage,which he has none,he is just like a surrogate who donated his sperm,thats the point you are choosing to avoid,which is why the family insists he pays the dowry if the child is important to him.. are you telling me if the woman was alive and she and the man part ways its a must she gives the child his name?? There is no link tying the child to the fathers name cos officially the mother never took the mans name.. its divorce or separation that applies to what you stated above..in the eyes of the law they were just boyfriend and girlfriend..

OluwoR:
Good evening my brothers and sisters,

I sincerely needs urgent help/assistance for my Fiancee.

Met her in 2012, started dating in 2014, had our first sex in 2019, but since that 2019, anytime I make moves to have sex with Her, it's always through fight, to cut the story short, she find sex extremely painful that even anything that pass cuddling, she'll start crying, this might sound funny, but seriously it is not.
I talked to Her about it, booked an appointment with a gynecologist, my babe didn't show up, I tried to get her sexual supplements, she said they have side effects, and she disposed them.

Now, the problem is, we're planning our introduction, and we're yet to get any solution to the problem at hand,
please, who have any idea of what we can do about it.

Was she a virgin prior to said first invadement?? If she was you have nothing to fear,first check her for infections like candida or staph,they make sex painful for women not sexually active.. your answer to the question above will make me better advice more.

wirinet:

The constitution is above any culture or tradition.
There is no law in the constitution, act or edict that grants the child to the grandparents. If the girls family insists on taking the child, then the matter should be settled legally.


That he died in the OPs house doesn't mean he killed her. If that is the case then it would be a homicide and not paternity or bride price issue. He even said he spent over a million naira in medical expenses trying to save her. Where were her family when she was suffering and succumbing to the disease that killed her? How much did they contribute? She died and all they could care about is bride price.


I also did not agree with the manner the OP took in informing the family of her death, even though I blame the family for abandoning their daughter when she needed them most. They should not have left everything to the boyfriend. Even if my daughter is married and she fell critically sick, I will not be able to sleep. I will make sure I do all I can to save her.
As I said, the OP has no right to plan any burial since they were never married. He should have first told them of their daughter demise and asked how to proceed. If they need him to foot the burial expenses, he should gladly accept. What I quarrel with is the marriage and bride price thing. If you tell my family you want to go and pay the bride price of a dead girl, no one will follow you.

If as he is insinuating that the family is threatening him with violence and kidnapping his son, he should make a formal report at the police station. He should then get a lawyer to write the family officially informing them of the death of their daughter with the medical records and autopsy included. He should also inform them on the whereabout of her corpse and still ask how they want to proceed.



As I said, both your friend and the woman are from the east. If the man is Hausa or a foreigner that Eastern traditional will not apply, unless he willingly agrees.

My friend is yoruba,the wife is from the east..
As to paternity and the constitution,sharia is being practised in kano and parts of kaduna,is sharia in the constitution?
Pertaining to paternity a man who never legally married a woman has no total claim over the child in a court of law,cos the court of law respects only the law which will be a marriage certificate or registry certificate which the man has neither so why will said child bear his name? The man can only be awarded joint custody with the family of the wife cos he was her boyfriend and baby daddy not her husband and thats after the court orders a dna test..
Has it even crossed your mind that the family can deny he is the father after all they were just dating as such the woman is free to date someone else since the man never bothered to do right by her..
Not supporting the family,am a realist that knows that anything is possible and so must respect some strange and unusual circumstances peculiar to diff tribes..
in all such instances have come across,the man involved almost never wins.. you see those uncles in the east never mess with them..

wirinet:


What i want you to accept is that culture is different. Eastern culture is different from northern culture or western culture. Eastern culture just like Shariah in the North should only apply to easterners and the east. I

Me, I am an extremely strict person person. I will never allow daughter to go live with a man she is not betrothed to. Thats why I work so hard to train and educate my daughter. I don't want the shameful situation of my daughter having to depend on another man for survival

If in the unfortunate situation my daugher gets pregnant by mistake for a random guy, thats a different matter. If the one responsible for the pregnancy is not ready to marry her, I along with the guys parents will dicuss how the child will be raised. If they reject their parental rights, I will get legally adopt the child and train it as mine. One thing I can never do is force the guy to marry my daughter.

Finally, you cannot take the child and change his or her surname to the woman's father's name without legal recourse, unless the father is not interested in claiming paternity. The matter would be taken to court. I don't see a court in the West or North granting paternity to the child's grandparents when the father is alive, willing and capable.

Thats why its called tradition not constitution.. trust me the child will be taken by the womans family if he doesnt do what they want at least to an extent..the main reason why it became an issue in the first place is cos she died in the mans house,there are baby mamas still living in their fathers house or their own apartment alone..if she had died in her fathers house or her own house such demands wont have come up..there is a distinct difference btw the two scenario's that you have to u.stand.. also if you read the op's thread you will sense an arrogance or maybe ignorance of the way things are done in diff cultures.. imagine someone cohabiting with a child of another man just calls and says he wants to plan burial of their daughter...someone he has a child with,lives with for years but never did any formal introduction with her family,now wants to do burial....
One of my man has 5kids with a woman he never married..they are practically married but not in the eyes of the law or God.. he just did the introduction recently,the reason... a friend from the same tribe with his wife told my man.. if your woman die for your house you no fit bury her and your children no go bear your name unless he travels to the east to do the traditional rites with her family..

danietohbadt:




Kpele ti e, BABAsolution

Lol..no mind am.. person wey hin name primitive dey form posh...

. Its becoming obvious that faroq whatever.... Is a paid islamic terrorist agent,he has never condemned bandits, buhari (who publicly said sharia cant be stopped), miyetti ,elrufai (who publicly said fulani will wipe out their enemies),and the chief terrorist gumi.. his only headache is osibanjo, its obvious osibanjo cant be controlled nor compromised, thats why he scares the north.. for people sayin osibanjo was vp during this disastrous regime..i ask you all pls tel me the power a vp has in any country to make concrete policies and change??
The best thing we can do for ourselves as a country is vote a neutral competent and liberal leader,hopefully apc gives osibanjo the ticket..if not we are on a long thing..

ogbuefi677:
I don't like osunbade and the redeem gang but Facrook kperogi should let them be.
There is nothing the redeem gang did they don't do worse in their mosques till date.
In 2015,the mantra in their mosques here in the north was that voting osama BinHari was a religious duty.
Abi no be from the same mosque them de from organise riots and killings?
Those of us who have lived long in the north know the period after Friday prayers used to be a very dangerous time.

39 cold thirty three for you.. you have said it all..

wirinet:


Eastern culture you say.i am not from the east and I don't live in the east. So what concerns me with Eastern culture? Thats how one supposedly educated igbo person became my enemy because I countered the igbo archaic culture of not allowing a woman to inherit her father's property, even though supreme Court has ruled otherwise. I told him in my culture women are entitled to her father's properties.

Parents that should be ashamed of allowing their daughter live with a man for years without bride price are now crying and threatening all over the place because they want to exploit their daughters death to collect money. If its my place, the girls family will be ashamed and quietly bury their daughter.

You guys encourage your daughters to pack load into a guys house, get pregnant for him, and then start threatening him to pay bride price, dead or alive.

I have never seen where to marry a living person is by force, not to talk of a dead person

Thats my point all along,it aint an argument, its a statement of fact based on my years of experiencing such traditions.. i am not sayin this based on hearsay its based on eye witness account..as for the parents thats their way,they patiently watch and wait till something like this happens,trust me they would have told their daughter to bring the baby father for introduction,some dont..at the end of it all most cases have seen they take the child and change his or her surname to the woman's maiden name..

wirinet:

Charge for murder? What evidence is there for murder? To prove murder, the family would have to provide evidence, motif and murder weapon or means of murder. The judge will throw out the case on second sitting.

So the family has evidence to prove murder, they would forget the case once he paid bride price abi.

Cheap blackmail.

Seems you know nothin about eastern culture.. u cohabit with a woman, no formal introduction, no traditional wedding, and they both stay far from the woman's home,she unfortunately passed away, tell me how the woman's family is supposed to react?? What if she was used, or beaten or many other scenarios to many to list, seems you dont know the meaning of marriage.... Its why prosecutors cant compel a woman to testify against her husband thats how strong tying the knot is.. if that guy jam better eastern folks he wont even have strength to type on nairaland .

You are lucky they didnt charge you for murder...

I still wonder how people think mermaids are half fish and the devil has horns...

dre11:


https://dailytrust.com/naf-airstrike-kills-children-destroys-houses-in-niger-state

So they villagers know the terrorists camps...make una dey deceive una self..

Real men dont come on social media asking fr advice abt such trivial issues..the reason??.... There are diff categories of peeps who will give you advice..
1- the simps and romantics who will tell you to either run for your life or fight for the love of your life,
2- the alpha male pretenders who will tell you to stand your ground sey notin dey happen,
3-the rugged who will tell you to set the guy up make hin collect..
4- the real alpha males like me who will pick the guys call and set up a meet at his location make we relate over a bottle of rum..( note anytin fit sup fr the zone..life at owners risk )
its left to you to decide who you be...

At the end of all the venting..pls lets reserve small anger for voting out this fools taking us fr granted.yes a lot of you all made mistake thinkin buhari go be am..... Noone is above mistake.. abeg next election vote the man not the party or the tribe or the religion.....

CandyOps:
I'm 12 days clean today. Sunday will make it 2 weeks of no smoking.
No THC in my blood. No carbon monoxide in my lungs. No carrying of lighter upandan.

No more unnecessary extremely high libido.
No more munchies. No more red eyes like say Apollo de catch me.

12 days clean after steady daily blazing for about 4 straight years. Make una help me thank God �

Generator wey you dey inhale nkor

Frenchblood:
In a recent chat with Ebuka Obi-Uchendu on the BlackBox interview series, the singer turned politician revealed that he was disappointed with the former EME signee for not showing up at his wedding.

"Was I disappointed that he wasn't at the wedding? I was but I know he tried because there was a show with a lot of the artists...I think it was One Africa,".

"As a matter of fact Tiwa ended up...there was business class and she took economy seat so she could make it. But he called at the time that he was so sorry."


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOBrLlTCTBA

https://www.instablognews.com/2022/04/banky-w-i-was-disappointed-wizkid-didnt.html?m=1

What are your thoughts ?

Rubbish.. hin for postpone hin wedding nah.. since wizkid na hin go help am wed..i wonder how this is news

Ademola47:
A Twitter user @hensennygold1 has called out a bolt driver after he mistakenly transferred 130k to him instead of 1,300.

He tweeted:

https://twitter.com/hensennygold1/status/1517162732440719360?t=97kQIKW_C_c68RNwk12fBg&s=19

Oga u get 130k and your phone dey hang?? Get a better phone..

HardMirror:
1. Are children of these days worse than the older generation?

I see a lot of myopic comments claiming the world has spoil finish. This is not true. Underage children has been engaging in stupid things from the days of Adam and Eve. Children that grew up in an environment where they learned about sex early always end up having sex early. When I was still in Primary school in the 1990s, I knew some of my classmates who where already sexually active and I attended one of the best schools in Jos.

The problem is the internet only makes it easier for children these days to get access to porn and things that corrupt them. Children will always do stupid things it is not a new thing or a big deal sef. They are children and need guidance.

Many of us judging these kids 2ould have used our phones to watch porn if we had smart phones back in our days too. Children are curious and porn would interest them.

2. Private Schools with wahala.
This Is another short sighted thought people are propagating. They think private schools are terrible in management.
They are talking of Dowen collage cultism and now chrisland issue. They say private schools are over rated. Well, they are wrong. If any child trusts you and tells you what happens in their schools, You will fear god.

Secondary school girls are doing runs in public schools and all their classmates know
The boys are doing yahoo.
They have cults too. Infact cultism from secondary school is very very old especially public schools.

3. Only girls are victims
people have been one sided judging matters always against the males. If not for the video leak, many Nigerians were already out calling for the heads of the boys. Women know they can always get public sympathy and they are abusing it. They are using it unduly to revenge and hurt people they dont like. They cry rape when they need to deal with a man. Is it not a possibility that it was the girl that initiated the truth or dare game? Do we even know if it was the girl that initiated sex with those boys? We dont have these answers yet people jumped into conclusion and many even insisted that the girl must have been drugged by the boys because they believe only boys can be bad. Girls are always good


4. Where did we go wrong?
Humans have always been bad, humans would always make bad life decisions. Children particularly would do things that are wrong because that is how children are. Exposure to social media is not helping them, giving them mobile phones is not helping, movies, music are all confusing them.

The worst influence on these girls are Ladies. You ladies always twerking online, always taking suggestive videos. The only thing you do on tick tok is dance and twerk. You sexualize every picture you take even pictures you take in church. The younger girls begin to develop the wrong mindset that sex is the most important thing most of you girls cannot take a picture without emphasizing your butt or boobs.
. The reason why I focused on women towards the end is because there is this assumption that it is men that sexually expose children. The moment a child is discovered to be sexually adventurous, the public begins to ask that all the men in the family including the dad of the child be suspected. This has been the way it has been for ages, men Are always the evil ones in the eyes of the society. That is why the mum of the chrisland girl came out to play the same old rape card instead of addressing the moral delinquency issue of the children involved

Everything you said is all from your own one sided knowledge.. there is no justification for your take on ladies who twerk and whatever on social media..the issue you or we should really address is the training both physical,mental,and spiritual that parents should give their children to withstand the world while living in the world...you cant stop oloshoing, runns, yahoo, twerking, bluefilms or porn cams,they are the prerogatives of both the person who chooses to perform such act and those who chose to watch..it has been so from the beginning of time..its the training parents and guardians give to their wards that becomes the armour against such temptations..i personally have lil ones i caught watchin porn at the age of 7-9 with a laptop given to them by their uncle..how i handled the matter is a story for another day..
My point is there will always be vices and peer pressures ,no need for any blame..what matters is solutions , prevention before cure and that falls into the hands of everyone in the society...

[quote author=HardMirror post=112139063]1. Are children of these days worse than the older generation?

I see a lot of myopic comments claiming the world has spoil finish. This is not true. Underage children has been engaging in stupid things from the days of Adam and Eve. Children that grew up in an environment where they learned about sex early always end up having sex early. When I was still in Primary school in the 1990s, I knew some of my classmates who where already sexually active and I attended one of the best schools in Jos.

The problem is the internet only makes it easier for children these days to get access to porn and things that corrupt them. Children will always do stupid things it is not a new thing or a big deal sef. They are children and need guidance.

Many of us judging these kids 2ould have used our phones to watch porn if we had smart phones back in our days too. Children are curious and porn would interest them.

2. Private Schools with wahala.
This Is another short sighted thought people are propagating. They think private schools are terrible in management.
They are talking of Dowen collage cultism and now chrisland issue. They say private schools are over rated. Well, they are wrong. If any child trusts you and tells you what happens in their schools, You will fear god.

Secondary school girls are doing runs in public schools and all their classmates know
The boys are doing yahoo.
They have cults too. Infact cultism from secondary school is very very old especially public schools.

3. Only girls are victims
people have been one sided judging matters always against the males. If not for the video leak, many Nigerians were already out calling for the heads of the boys. Women know they can always get public sympathy and they are abusing it. They are using it unduly to revenge and hurt people they dont like. They cry rape when they need to deal with a man. Is it not a possibility that it was the girl that initiated the truth or dare game? Do we even know if it was the girl that initiated sex with those boys? We dont have these answers yet people jumped into conclusion and many even insisted that the girl must have been drugged by the boys because they believe only boys can be bad. Girls are always good


4. Where did we go wrong?
Humans have always been bad, humans would always make bad life decisions. Children particularly would do things that are wrong because that is how children are. Exposure to social media is not helping them, giving them mobile phones is not helping, movies, music are all confusing them.

The worst influence on these girls are Ladies. You ladies always twerking online, always taking suggestive videos. The only thing you do on tick tok is dance and twerk. You sexualize every picture you take even pictures you take in church. The younger girls begin to develop the wrong mindset that sex is the most important thing most of you girls cannot take a picture without emphasizing your butt or boobs.
. The reason why I focused on women towards the end is because there is this assumption that it is men that sexually expose children. The moment a child is discovered to be sexually adventurous, the public begins to ask that all the men in the family including the dad of the child be suspected. This has been the way it has been for ages, men Are always the evil ones in the eyes of the society. That is why the mum of the chrisland girl came out to play the same old rape card instead of addressing the moral delinquency issue of the children involved
[/quot

Everything you said is all from your own one sided knowledge.. there is no justification for your take on ladies who twerk and whatever on social media..the issue you or we should really address is the training both physical,mental,and spiritual that parents should give their children to withstand the world while living in the world...you cant stop oloshoing, runns, yahoo, twerking, bluefilms or porn cams,they are the prerogatives of both the person who chooses to perform such act and those who chose to watch..it has been so from the beginning of time..its the training parents and guardians give to their wards that becomes the armour against such temptations..i personally have lil ones i caught watchin porn at the age of 7-9 with a laptop given to them by their uncle..how i handled the matter is a story for another day..
My point is there will always be vices and peer pressures ,no need for any blame..what matters is solutions , prevention before cure and that falls into the hands of everyone in the society...

Greatzeus:

Please take her to the nearest police station mor the police headquarters in the area she was found. That will be the first place her parents or guardians will go to look for her
Also kindly get her a decent meal and water. She looks weak and faint,she might be starving right now. God bless you Op, please be fast.
Op,I assume you are a male, please involve others while helping the lady,so that some illogical people won't accuse of kidnapping or rape while transiting her to police station. Eg sapphire
Lalasticlala kindly help this helpless girl to find her way home,topics,it could save a life.

Though your intention is good , your advice is wrong.. we no get police for naija.. tell @op to find the numbers of motherless homes or the yaba psychiatric home or welfare homes..they are the ones who attend to such once there is no next of kin..

Mc wey the drummer wey dey make am dance dey lead am go hin own chiller...its all strategy from the devious strategist....

LibertyRep:
Hope we will revisit the era when people did not mind their businesses when it comes to training a child.

We can't continue to look the other way while the society rots further

No go beat person child ohhh..life no be like before community training is gone.. you risk your own life now by beating someone else child,especially the girl child..

I hope all you guys will vent your anger come election,not just online.. vote the person not the party..if someone like pat utomi contests and his party is the least party in terms of numbers i will vote him cos thats the only way we can move forward..we should remember that pdp is apc.. lets vote like the europeans and the british ..they vote candidates not parties,they vote records not party,they vote competence not party..

No tel your wife mke hin dress decent for camera..na when alpha males snatch am your eye go clear..

LordviccoDaGuru:


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1563064027410028&id=100011193364134&sfnsn=scwspwa

The major destabliser dey vow against himself..wonders.....

@vulturegrills pls come and pray that your usual prayer for the nation,then shout starboy everywhere,after which you blame jonathan over and over again...

luminouz:


Alaye, are under a spell or you just don't want to learn at all?

She dared all of the guys(who are 13 years old) and fuqed them. So who is giving consent? The 13 year old boy molested the girl abi? The video and the statement herein said otherwise. She actually did all this with her mind and body intact. So who molested her?

God!!! I'm tired of educating you. Even with the truth in your face, yet you still claim not to see. Girls go show you shege with this your Captain-Save-A-Hoe mentality.

I think you all are talking to a cousin of the girl in question.. that @bara...something handle has been repeating the same thing to all of you..sounds like her brother or cousin who is in denial..

luminouz:


Alaye, are under a spell or you just don't want to learn at all?

She dared all of the guys(who are 13 years old) and fuqed them. So who is giving consent? The 13 year old boy molested the girl abi? The video and the statement herein said otherwise. She actually did all this with her mind and body intact. So who molested her?

God!!! I'm tired of educating you. Even with the truth in your face, yet you still claim not to see. Girls go show you shege with this your Captain-Save-A-Hoe mentality.

I think you all are talking to a cousin of the girl in question.. that bala..something handle has been repeating the same thing to all of you..sounds like her brother or cousin who is in denial..

baralatie:

If a 10 year girl was engaged in sexually act
Does she have a say?
Any sexual act against a 10 year is molestation
Wether she walked into a room naked or she was begging
If any body touches her body
It is called molestation

U re right and wrong at the same time..the girl is 14..opened her page 2016... The boys are 11 and 13... Guess they all molested each other.. the real crime was the recording which is against the law..but that case is also dead on arrival cos she wasnt secretly recorded.. wizkids son clarified that part..it was recorded on her phone with her consent.. the only crime that can be pursued now is distribution of child porn .

Hohenheim:
Didn't know there were this many pedos on Nairaland. They're even following the little girl on onlyfans and tik tok.

Not that you arent right of your assesment... But pls answer me what purpose was the lil girls's likee page and onlyfans page for,what purpose is her twerking meant for,what purpose did she make a porn video for,and for whose watching pleasure does she dance seductively to trashy songs for while putting on trashy clothes..
My psychological evaluation---- she most likely was disvirgined at a tender age by someone very close to her..someone she trusts completely..

Kdon2:


How do you even know all these. You can't substantiate any of your tirade here I m sure!

He is right..like i said from the onset..boys and girls were giving diff rooms, 4th floor fr girls,11th floors fr boys.. the video was recorded as a dare..wizkids son who was also in dubai saw the video days back on his friends phone and told his mum..

allcomage:

No culture is 100% perfect but in Igboland, if innoson gifts his plastic factory to his daughter and his daughter marries an ogbomosho man .That factory in enugu automatically belongs to segun if she dies without a will even if she bore children for segun and segun can come from ogbomosho ,sell the factory 2b and pocket the money without any disturbances.

Wow..interesting..