Rlst84sale:

I think u have kool sense of humour too. so what's stopping u from migrating then?

i am, finding it so hard, to tear myself, away, from nairaland.

hey there, busygirl, thanks, how's things down in kent, , not too far from me



@cute-ass: working in london

@ ade.f - what are you on about,

Isn't nairaland a place to interract and connect with fellows and naija-lovers, people correct me if am wrong

@topic, count me in. Am in essex, but should be able to make it.

whooops, my bad!

jaybaby:

~~~~~~~ US? Which kian story b this?

It's just a story, improvise,

Life has taught me to always have a back-up plan

boring

where oh where do i find a cure for my addiction to nairaland



Seriosuly, i am now a nairaland-aholic!! And i only dicovered this site 2 days ago!!

having my mother come and spend the rest of her days with us

tega
ejiroghene
emonena
ochuko
kevwe
kessiena

okay, just one more

okay here is another one



Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.I've been a
good man to you for seven years,and I have nothing to show
for it.These last two weeks have been hell.Your boss called to tell me that you
had quit your job today,and that was the last straw.Last week,you come
home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,cooked your
favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You came home
and ate in two minutes,then went straight to sleep after watching all of your
soaps.You don't tell me you love me anymore,you don't want sex anymore or
anything.Either you're cheating on me,or you don't love me anymore.
Whatever the case is,I'm gone.

YOUR EX-HUSBAND

P.S. Don't try to find me.Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together ! Have a great life !
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
griping.Too bad that doesn't work.I did notice when you got a hair cut last
week.The first thing that came to mind was,"you look just like an idiot ! " but my
mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice.And when
you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER,because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them.I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
unemployed sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning,
And your silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this,I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.So,when I
discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,I quit my job and bought
us two tickets to Jamaica.But when I got home you were gone.Everything
happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fullfilling life you always wanted.My lawyer said with your
letter that you wrote,you won't get a dime form me.

So take care.
Signed Rich and Free !
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,my sister,was born Carl.I
hope that's not a problem,

enjoy,



What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball ?

Juan on Juan.


What is a Yankee ?

the same as a quickie,but a guy can do it alone.


Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife ?

45 lbs.


Whats the difference between a boyfriend and husband ?

45 minutes.


Whats the fastest way to a mans heart ?

through his chest with a sharp knife.


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring,and good-looking ?

because those men already have boyfriends.


what did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant ?

are you sure its mine.


Where does an irish family go on vacation ?

a different bar.


Did you hear about the chinese couple that had a retarded baby ?

they named him "sum ting wong".

Help!!!

My name is Tega78, and I am a nairaland-holic.

Discovered the site about 2-3 days ago and can't tear myself away.

I can't eat, can't sleep, I am permanently camped out by my computer.

I can't go through a day without my fix from nairaland.

Does anyone else feel this way.

Is there a cure?

Hmmm, interesting.

Me sef I be ex-Deeper Lifer, even involved in the minsitries: choir, orchestra, youth

LI liked the way the Bible was exp-lained and the style of preaching, but you guys are right, way too many ruels and regulations.

Christianity should not bring us into bondage again

mukina2, no worries, and thanks
Pssst -  me thinks Dirax got a thing for you

kateflow,, naughty

kellany:

tega

can u log on your yahoo mesg now

Sorry, currently at work and can't use messenger, stingy bosses!

Sorry, am currently at work, and can't use messenger, stingy bosses!

Yep, still here


In answer to your question, no, not married yet

N kids either, don't wann be a single baby mama

@jaybaby - thank you

@mukina2 , but ta anyways

@rlst84sale - am seriously tempted to emigrate to the States, now, LOL

@ Dirax - send me a message and find out


@ everyone else hugs, kisses and luv from the UK

Here is one:

Pick-Up Line

Q: How Do You Like Your Eggs In The Morning (implying that he would like to spend the night with you and make you breakfast in the morning)

A: Unfertilised! (implying that she doesn't want to sleep with you!)

How about this one:  "Greenish-Brown Female Sheep"

"Greenish-Brown" is the the colour of olives;  "Female Sheep" - the female sheep is called an ewe.

So when you put it together it becomes "Olive Ewe" - which sounds like "I Love You".

However, as a secret language between you and your love, instead of saying "Olive Ewe", you say "Greenish-Brown Female Sheep"

This the thing I do not understand, men cannot seem to be able to make up their minds.

They say they want a curvy person, yet they don't want someone with flabby stomach or big yansh or  this one, that one.

Er, helloo??!!!  Curvy women generally tend to be quite voluptous.

Myself, for example, I have been in London since 1998, and cannot seem to find a decent Naija man.

Now i have always been quite slim as a child, that hasn't changed as an adult.  I eat and eat and eat, yet never seem to get bigger than a size 10.  Yet I tend to attract more Oyibo white men than Naija men.  Why?  Why?  Why?  I am not skinny, I am 5foot 9 tall, long legs, a perfect size 10, got some bust (36C cup), well rounded behind.  I know I am no Orobo, but I am not Lepa, either.


So where all the Naija men.


Maybe i go start to dey chop chop Ffries, burgers, chicken and chips so dat i go turn orobo!!!

LondonCool:

How come you've got 2 already ? I'll like to prove you wrong my dear.

What I meant to say was that I have met one or two nice naija men,

Urhobo, waaaadooo!!

March 17th, Pisces. It's past now, got no single wish from you lot

Never mind, you are all forgiven , as long as you promise to remember next time

Do i have a birthday twin here

cute-ass:


Hw about you, what's happening in your area??
Where in the UK do you reside at?? London?

Usual Easter stuff, catching up with family and friends, watching re-runs of Sound of Music (again!!! ), getting sick on the excess chocolate.

The weather however was glorious (are you green with envy yet) for the past 2 days.

Weathermen however predict rain, rain and more rain (lone tear running down my cheek)

Do you have a lot of Naijas in Norway

cute-ass:

lots of love to you too dear


welcome to nairaland

Thanks a mill.

By the Way, love the pic, and yes, he is very cute and adorable.

How are things in Norway

fatliar:

i would av loved 2 b 1 with all your credentials but you're far older than me

Yeah, also there is the long distance, thansk for your shout-out, though

whitelexi:

I really don't understand why else you havent met decent dates with all these credentials

Maybe I am just picky!

Besides, I am not just looking for date, I am primarily looking to meet other Naijas, male AND female.

Simply tryong to connect with other fellow Naijas, that are actually in the UK