Every couple is different and it depends on each situation; The lifestyle they wish to maintain, their respective incomes, and their goals. Those things should all be discussed and decided upon prior to marriage. Personally I believe in marriage you are one so your assets are all to go in one pot together. You should then decide together how they are to be spent.

Of course we do. We also cook for him & clean for him. Bear his children & do everything else a wife is meant to do. There is no difference in us just because we are white.

lol

Houston

Thank you! Who know's his motivation, he may not even know. I am beyond that. I am still a bit hurt because the love was there, but it was all an illusion. Picked myself up, dusted myself off, now on to the greener pastures. We reap what we so, and God will take care of it.

Yes, very white, lol. Is that ok? I posted here because I felt some of our problems were cultural differences. Waned the insight and knowledge of people who understood his culture.

Why shouldn't I put up pics of the person I am dating if we are exclusive? He said when we were taking them they were going on FB, No pressure, I like being single. Don't plan on marrying anytime soon.

Posted a pic just for you, but can't get it to flip??

True, maybe not. But, you would be the exception. And, if this doesn't work there are plenty more out there. Of course, being single is so much fun too.

Good thing I'm not a leopard. I told you I normally don't curse. I have nothing to hide anyway, thank you.

Lol, I told you I was attractive. See men are replacable just as women. I'll make sure never to curse in front of this one, just for ya'll.

Well it's done. haven't spoke to him in 2 days. I've meet someone else already too. Maybe this one will be a good man. Nigerian again, I must like ya'll. Lol. Honestly I really appreciate how kind and happy the Nigerians I have meet are. Also, how God fearing and smart. I guess that is the positive I gained from this experience. The ability to see another culture and way of life. Thank everyone for the advice & support. Very appreciated. Much love & all God's blessings!

Toysne; Bless you!

Whitelexi; There are many details and words spoken that are not posted here. This is only the internet, I can't tell you everything- we would be here for the months it took. When i begin a new relatioship it does not take me months to sort out the other men, lol. Re the pics. When we took them he said "I know those our going on Facebook" I responded that they were all my friends wanted a face for the name. He was upset that I put "My Love" as the title & "My Baby & Me" as the caption. Also, I am a very respectful & loving person. I treat who I am with as I would want to be treated---As long as they are treating me with the respect I deserve. i would post the picture so you can see but you would all know him & that's wrong.

Another thing I learned about this is to always trust my "women's intuition". I should have checked him out earlier.

Whitelexi,
Are you serious? I cursed in front of him one time! I called him one name! Are you men that thin skinned? I think not. The bottom line is he was seeing/ talking with other women when we had agreed not to see anyone else. Of course I'm going to be upset when I find out! I am not going to be calm and rational, I'm going to be hurt and angry. Looking back I should have said a lot worse to him. But, I wasn't brought up that way. If he had truly loved me as he said he would have forgiven that. Of course he never loved me, it was all a game to him. When you really love someone you will not walk away from them over something like that. He walked away because I was messing up his game, and because he realized I was not that easily controlled.
And men are replaceable just as women are. There is no difference. This morning at 5am he sent me a text message, it said " I can't live without you. I'm dying to feel you at nite. Sweat is drippin down my body, I want you, I need you. Come on air conditioner." I have received that message before and it's always funny. Just not so much in this situation. See, he is playing games. He is being hurtful. And why? because I cared enough to try to fight for my man. He just couldn't have that mess up his game with other women which is what I did by posting pics on Facebook & messaging another women he was cheating with. But I digress. I am a beautiful women, I have a lot going for me, and I am an excellent wife & mother. I promise you he will be replaced by the weekend if I choose.

And a liar he is. Yesterday we meet and made up. He was coming to my house for the night (we live an hour apart). He stood me up! No show no call, Then I go on facebook this morning to find a message from a friend that he posted that some other girl is his "main boo". So yes I got played & hard. No more tears over this one. My heart is hurt but I have to remember it was all an illusion. People can be so heartless and mean, and it doesn't matter where you are from/ what color you are. He should realize that God will take his revenge for hurting women (surely I'm not the first)like that. You always reap what you sow.

He is 40. I opened his phone beacuse it kept going off in the middle of the night. When i tried to shut it off, i accidentaly opened the message. It was from another woman. He is here legally. No we don't live together
She is not his business partner, she is his ex girlfriend (according to him), who still lives in his home and collects the money from his business. He goes home twice a year to collect the money from her. I was supposed to be going with him in September.

Thank you all for the advice. We are working things out, but I will be very cautious from now on. By the way. He meet the other lady after our first date! He was with her two days after. Again, I normally don't cuss. Also, most American women will go thru their husbands/ lovers phone. No one I know sees anything wrong with that. They shouldn't be doing anything they don't want their partner to see, so they shouldn't have anything to hide. As far as the business goes, he owns it but she collects the money and holds it for him. Still confused about why he has to go get it? Is there not Western Union?

Seeker; Yes the truth hurts and you are 90% right, lol. I am only human and my marriage ended due to cheating. I thought I was over that, but this has brought it up again. A stalker though? Ouch that hurts, but slightly true. Now about the cussing, that is not normally me. I was just soooo hurt. There is more to the story but did not want to take up too much time. I found that he had sex with another woman 2 days after we went on our first date. He says she does not matter because he did not make love to her, only had sex with her. He also thinks that I should except them still talking as long as he does not see her. We had not yet agreed to be exclusive, but it still hurt. The main reason I reacted like that was he would not talk things out with me. He was still angry and trying to calm down. We have never had an argument so I did not know that was how he worked.
I have one more question, why take our pictures off facebook? If she is no longer anything to him? Are the courts/ laws not the same in Nigeria? Surely she wouldn't be allowed to just take his money?
Even though it hurts to face the truth, I am glad I posted this here. It's good to get feedback from people other than my close friends, who will always take my side.
I will be leaving this in God's hands. I know he is the only one who can put forgiveness in both our hearts and bring us back together. I pray that is his will for us.

Thank you, Whitelexi.

Yes I'm white. I am 33, and have been married most of my adult life (that ended about 8 months ago). Howerver, I am not dumb and can usually recognize game. Either I have lost it or he is a master playa, lol. I never thought he would cheat on me. I truly believed he loved me and wee will eventually get married.

I love my boyfriend very much. I have meet his family and spend the weekends at his home. I have also meet his daughter. Everything has been perfect until this weekend. In the middle of the night his phone kept ringing. I tried to turn it off and saw a message from some other girl. I looked at all of his messages (he is very angry I did this). I found that he is still involved with a woman from Nigeria. She lives in his home there, and he says they have a business dealings. He says he has tried to break it off with her but she will not go easily. The messages I read were all innocent, like call me etc, When we first started dating he a picture of her on his facebook. When I asked about it he took it off. He also has pictures of another woman on his facebook but states she is a friend on his comments. I do know his sister in law is trying to hook him up with her.
The next day when I put up pictures of he and I that said my love he removed them. He says the girl in Nigeria will take his money if she hears about it. I messaged another woman on his page who posted "I miss U". She says she has been seeing him on and off for a couple of years. He was so angry I did that he blocked me from his page! I feel justified in what I did as I was trying to decide if he was a cheater & whether I should continue the relationship.
He would barely speak to me the next two days, he acts like this is all my fault. I called him (while drinking) and told him he was stupid to do that to me & called him an a**. He says he is not sure if he wants to continue the relationship and will not tell me "I love you". Finally last night he said he does want to be with me still and we will come back together like we used to be. I am a very attractive woman, and could easily move on. But, I love this man. I feel like he is my soul mate. Am I being stupid by wanting to continue the relationship? Is he a cheater? Was I wrong for what I did? Any advice is greatly appreciated. I do not know how things work in Nigeria, but we occasionally have misunderstandings due to our cultural differences.