A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school
the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but
then began to laugh about the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith "

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that my dear?" she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."

RELATIONSHIPS
One of my friends always prided himself in landing such a cool job, and a beautiful, Agbani babe in the same month. On this year's Valentine's Day, he went over to the flat he had gotten and furnished for her, to take her out to Taipan for dinner. While she was in the shower, the Razr phone he had bought for her weeks before began ringing, and he picked the phone to see the Caller ID.
He chuckled to himself when he saw 'Mugu No 2'. He shook his head, wondering why all the
guys would never stop disturbing his babe. Seconds later, he picked the phone again, his curiosity picked at what she had saved his number as. He dialed his number and dropped the phone when he saw the caller ID. He picked his jacket and walked out.
She had saved his number as 'Mugu No 19'.

Debayurr:

your kilin me alredy.your jokes r rib crackin, u've gat skills dawg, lfmao

Thanks man

honeric01:

So 4 persons actually believe Nigeria is going to lose to Madagascar?

What do u expect?
After the disgrace

funny

U did

thanks vic
So how na

Little Johnny came home early from school and started calling his mother with no answer. He finally went up stairs and saw the bedroom door was open a little. When he peered in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid so he quietly went outside and waited for his mother.

When she showed up with some groceries, he said "Mommy, Mommy guess what I saw? I saw daddy upstairs on the bed with the maid and they were, "

And his Mother said, "Stop right there, Johnny". Wait until supper tonight when the maid is serving the meal. When I wink at you, and then tell me the story."

At supper when all were seated and being served by the maid, she winked and Johnny began again.

"Mommy, when I got home from school early today, I was looking for you and saw daddy on the bed with the maid. They were doing the same thing that I saw you and Uncle Phil doing at the cottage last summer."

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six!" he said.

What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

An American lawyer and a Nigerian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer believes that Nigerians are so dumb that he could put something over on them easily, So the lawyer asks if the Nigerian would like to play a fun game.
The Nigerian is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The American lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Nigerian's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Nigerian doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Nigerian's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs
, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Nigerian and hands him $500. The Nigerian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Nigerian up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Nigerian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

My current isp is frustrating and affecting my business so I need a good if possible the best isp in Nigeria
Thanks for your help