Thanx for all your replies guys.

@md4real, I havn't been too demanding or any of that, true we started very strong, talking everyday for hours via phone, (which I get was quite expensive, especially as he was doing most of the calling), texting endlessly, etc etc so when this was gone I felt quite bereft, and couldn't understand why. However I don't think I've been unreasonable - I've even thought that if the cost is too much we could cut it down to one or two calls a week at pre-arranged times, do more emailing, etc.

Anyway, things are better now, he won't tell me what happened when he went AWOL, just that he was in a bad place which is over now. I took the advice of a few other non-Nairalander friends and just laid my cards on the table, and I think it helped, a lot of the problem was insecurity on both our parts. We working that out now!

Anyways, thanx guys for trying to help, hopefully I don't come back with a sob story, but some good news instead! Have a lovely weekend, y'all,

Posted by: itsme123
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Tiki, i have to be straight with you. He is having an affair. Why would a guy who claims he loves you not want to pick your calls? Or suddenly too busyto reply your emails and txts? How many seconds does it take to reply a txt?
The thing is, he is focusing all his undivided attention on his new catch. Its almost always so with distant relationship because he might be feeling you are having an affair wherever you are so why should he be waiting for you? Well, try your best to bring the truth out of him. I'm sorry for your hurt as i really and sincerely understand what you are going through.

Wowza, that hurt! Thing is he claims that he was upset becoz something had come up about one of my exes who got in touch and was paying me some attention, and he found out. We had spoken abt it and I assured him nothing was up, but apparently he was upset, or at least that's the reason he's giving now. However, I'm not convinced, how then to explain the text messages he's getting from some Uni girl? I stumbled accross those on his phone when I was trying to help him configure it, some girl who claims to want to change from their 'Aristo' relationship or whatever to a stable boyfriend-girlfriend one! He has refused to explain that one, am I just burying my head in the sand?

If you like it, then you should put a ring on it! It's sad that you were shallow and insecure enough not to trust either the love you shared with your e to be strong enuff to stand up to any opposition due to the fact that you were financially down, and that you did not trust her to wait for you until you became comfortable, or were you thinking that you could do better once you had some change jangling in your pocket?

Either way, suck it up and save yourself a lifetime of hurt, break up the engagement before you become a miserable husband, go back to your ex and beg her to take you back. If she does, fine. If not, you have tried. Either way, you'll be doing yourself and your fiancée a disservice if you married her while feeling the way you do now. Once upon a time, you were chivalrous enough because you felt you didn't have enough to offer, extend the same courtesy you gave to your ex to your fiancée, albeit for different reasons. You feel like it's not gonna work; don't waste her time, raise her hopes, and let her make a fool of herself and her family. Your uncles will not live with her and father her children, YOU will. YOu can't handle that, bow out.

Wow, this is some hectic stuff! I kinda feel sorry for the guy *tongue in cheek* but who send am? That will teach to neither commit adultery, nor force someone's wife!

Hi guys, I need help with my dilemma. My boyfriend of six months and I started having issues in our long-distance relationship about three weeks ago, over his unavailability. Before now we used to talk on the phone every day and/or send each other texts, emails, etc, and basically keep in touch with each other's lives. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. he doesn't call no more, barely replies emails and texts, and rarely answers when I call. I've asked him what's going on, and he swears that he's neither cheating nor wants out, but he just doesn't keep in touch! I've intercepted some suspicious communication between him and two other ladies, but he explained that away, and I believed him.
He's been married before, and had two kids but separated with his partner who was cheating on him, so I think he has very strong feelings against cheating; however, what I want your opinion on is this: Can he be cheating? Is it possible that a guy will love you and not want to talk to you?Am I asking too much in terms of his time?What would you do if you were in my shoes? Please, constructive comments only! Thanx in advance,

This is very sad indeed . What kind of sick bastard does this to a 12 yr old? Orphan for that matter? What is she supposed to do with a baby now? May God punish him mercilessly after the law is done!

If she's the quiet type, a romantic getaway weekend to a favorite spot, or surprising her with Spa tickets for her and two friends and then proposing to her there can be nice

If she's the outgoing type, proposals in front of family will probably be appreciated.

Regardless, most girls in my opinion appreciate the following:

- some effort at dressing up and making the atmosphere romantic
- a little nerves is good!
- private proposals are always better, dat way she has a story to tell to her family/friends!

Whichever it is, good luck and I hope she says yes!

LRDs are very hard and taxing on a relationship, but if you manage to pull it off, stay in love and remain faithful, they can be a real blessing. My boyfriend and I live in different countries (he's in Lagos) and we try to see each other at most every three months, and spend a lot of time on the phone and on the internet. It helps also that I keep in touch with his family, as it helps me feel closer to him. i don't wanna sweat the future, for now we are in love and I'm content. As long as you truly love each other, are patient and trust each other, an LRD will work,

The Naija boy really fine sha, what a waste really.

I draw a line at gay-bashing, though. I ban any of my family being gay IJN, but I pity them - to be gay is to live a very sorry life indeed, whether in America, Africa, or anywhere else in the world.

*merely for the sake of a baby,

My goodness, Nairalanders are harsh! sweetie, truth is, you took a big risk here by getting pregnant for the guy before marrying him, especially knowing he was gonna relocate, long-distance relationships are extremely dificult, as you are about to find out. However you say you plan to move back within the year, so my advice is to talk to him and be sure the relationship is a solid one, PLEASE do not marry him merely for the sale of a baby, in my opinion it is better to have a baby out of wedlock than to be trapped in a loveless marriage with a guy who thinks you hoodwinked him into marrying you, and so sleeps with the whole town or otherwise maltreats you!

Whatever you do, please be true to yourself, and do it for the right reasons. You owe it to yourself and the little person inside you.

Hi guys, I'm a non-Nigerian chick with an Igbo boyfriend , and I made the mistake of sending him a love text message in Igbo, which somebody wrote for me! Now he is superexcited that I am learning his language and always trying to speak it to me, so I guess I'd better learn, and fast! Please bear in mind that before we got together about 4 months ago I had never even heard Igbo, so I'm totally new ! that said, I wanna learn, if only how to say good morning and stuff. How do I go about it?

I already picked up numbers and other basics from previous post, what I would like to have is verbs please, and maybe how to construct a sentence eg conjunctions and stuff.

Thanx in advance.