Affamefuna:

Which stupid condition? Y r u people talking like this? That a woman pregnant at 7months was asked to clean a glass she broke? Was it the mother in-laws that was supposed to clean it?
Y r u pple always talking as if pregnancy is now a disease or a condition to make one lazy and stupid.
Some of the comments I see here makes me wonder how some of u reason.
For the op, that wife of yours should pls stop acting childish and unreasonable except there is something else she's not telling u

I obviously wasn't talking to you. I'm entitled to my opinion, vice versa. There's no point calling what you don't agree with "stupid". Let's respect each other.

bukatyne:


While I understand your wife's pain, she should forgive her and let go.

I doubt a biological mother would watch her 7 month pregnant daughter sweep shrads of glass off the floor.

Of all the people on this thread, you are the first to look at it from the wife's perspective. That's impressive.

My view is the wife's anger has to do with the fact that she was made to go through that in such conditions when the mother in law could have easily helped. He shouldn't invalidate his wife feelings by taking his Mom side. If possible, he should help her make peace with that incident and let his mom know in a peaceful way.

alabi484:


So, I am in your 2016 at the moment just that my mum has lot 2 children already, loosing me will kill her straight up, so I secretly hope I'll get lost in an accident some day, I don't know why I feel so disconnected, helpless and empty and there's no one to talk to..I'm scared, I just cried reading your comment and hopefully I'll be in your 2019 some time soon

The most interesting thing about bad times is they can't outlast us. It's difficult, I get. But they are temporary. Don't lose yourself. Please hold on. For the sake of your mom and everyone who love you. There's light at the end of your tunnel.

nanakgh:
DONT do it. Almost swallowed a cocktail of pills one time in 2016 before my lil bro entered the house from school. I was ill, lonely and single not by choice, broke, disrespected and jobless and I hated it and wanted all the pain and shame to end.
I was a jobless graduate who had friends making it and it felt like it would never end and I was always going to be late.
I almost did it before my bro entered the house and suddenly called out my name before I answered with a shaky voice and hid the pills which I later threw away. One of the few occasions in my life I still consider divine intervention. Fast forward to 2019, I have a perfect fiancé (not perfect but u know what I mean) , a good job which pays well (today I get to complain about long hours and small pay ) and there are so many plans we have and the future looks so bright and I've been working not even 2 years now.

My life isnt even close to perfect but things are so much better than just three years ago when i was at my lowest. I'm actually doing the things I always planned to do now. Its crazy. I dunno what u believe but no matter what it is, life generally has a way of sorting things out. Write those applications, learn the trade..just do something and you'll be fine. I'm proof. Hold on. Don't do it.

Thanks for this. Inspiring!

IamShiningStar:
...

HI!

Kingpee2:
I don’t know how to greet or console people who just lost someone,just don’t know the exact words to say .

I doubt anyone really do. But in my opinion, they should be allowed to express their grief and also be made to understand that they are not alone.

Judging by recent trends, by the time you read this article we may be talking about another suicide. This highlights the fact that a piece about suicidal depression is long overdue and frowning upon its discussion will only contribute to its epidemic.

I came across the “10 minutes suicide guide” by David Wong while I was contemplating suicide. This satirical article was aimed at helping people reconsider their choice. This article and a recent unsuccessful attempt to talk a friend out of committing suicide (he attempted and failed) inspired this write up.

Most of us don’t know how to go about it when someone close to us are suicidal. According to a study, people who take their life usually confide in someone before doing it. So, knowing what to and more importantly, what not to say/do might make a difference in someone’s life. From my research on how to deal with victims of suicidal depression I have learnt that;

Misery is not a competition — Many of us treat misery like it’s a competition. How many times have we told someone about our problem only to have them compare it with theirs or someone else’s which “they” believe is worse? It goes; “You want to kill yourself because she dumped you? How about (insert name) who was duped then dumped and now has no job but still…” The thing is, misery is not relative. We can’t feel the way a person is feeling even if we have been there before or presently going through same thing. Psychologists posited that the brain can barely distinguish between physical and psychological pain and we do not have the same pain gauge. Hence, that wound we consider an itch, may hurt differently to another person.

Suicidal people think their problems are irrelevant — Therefore, being judgmental by comparing their difficulties with someone else’s not only proves their innate fear, it also drives them away from opening up to other people. When a suicidal comes to us with problems, the most important thing we should do is… Listen!

Suicidal folks talk about their intentions... not to seek attention, like most uninformed people think, but to convince themselves that people care. This is the major reason why we need to listen when they talk. Unfortunately, even the few of us who choose to listen go about it the wrong way. We interrupt their out pour to either offer solutions, ask questions or do other things that are in no way helpful to the victim.

So how do we help them?

Kevin Briggs, a former patrolman who spent decades dissuading hundreds of people from jumping to their death at the Golden Gate Bridge, stated that he spent 80 percent of the time letting them talk. Briggs only interrupted to answer questions directed at him. Also, he did not pressure them to talk because it overwhelms them instead he gave them time to let it out as they saw fit. According to Briggs, many of them usually abandon their quest after being listened to.

Knowing the right words to say

Most of us are pseudo motivational speakers and in our bid to be supportive (or sound smart) we say things like;
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – this phrase makes it seem like every suffering has valuable lessons attached to them and that’s false. Also, what doesn’t kill you might leave you in a coma.
“It could be worse” – just loosely means although you are sad now, you should know that you could be sad in a worse situation. Really?!!
“Try to get over it” – only makes the victim feel like they are failures and are not trying enough.

None of these words are helpful. Suicidals already see themselves as a burden to their family, friends as well as the society and therefore believe the world would be better off without them. The words they need to hear from us are that of hope. Not judgmental words or cliché lines that make us (the listeners) feel good but does nothing to them.
The right words to say to them are those that express how important they are to you and the people around them. These words should be as honest as can be. For instance, saying “it’s going to be okay by tomorrow” or “I know how you feel” is a lie they can see through. Instead tell them it’s going to be okay but with time. Tell them how strong they are to have gone through those problems and remind them those problems are temporary.

Check up on them:

Anybody can decide to take their life at any time in the face of adversity. This is what the famous Hulk Hogan decided to do shortly after losing his wife. He was considering this option when he got a call from Laila Ali, a friend and the daughter of Mohammed Ali. Laila’s call reminded Hogan that there are people who still cared about his well-being. It gave him the strength to live for another day.
The story above illustrates that when we have depressed friends, the work of checking up on them is never done. After the above processes, constant calls and messages are important. People who have being talked out of suicide are known to try again. Following my little flirt with suicide, a close friend of mine who knew what I was going through would constantly checkup on me. I came to realize that no matter how stupid my problems seemed to me, he’d listen – patiently. His ability to be there for me (and vice versa) has helped us both realize we have a lot to give to ourselves and by extension, the society.

Conclusion

Before mouthing off to judge someone who has taken his or her life, remember we may not have been able to survive in their shoes for long. Of course we can see how much money they had but can we feel the hopelessness they wake up to? We can see their future potential but can we see their mental health struggle? We judge other people’s decisions in order to feel better about our own miserable selves even though we may not know their hidden struggles.
Putting up status updates about suicide awareness does nothing at all. It is the social media way of making us feel like we are changing the world without doing anything. Asking them to pray about it is our way of trying to run away from our responsibilities as human. We have been handed the responsibility of being our brother’s keeper – we need to be there for one another.
So, if you are reading this it’s not too late. Not too late to save a friend, not too late to listen to a colleague, not too late to stop being an insensitive/self-centered a-hole, not too late to take five minutes out of your time to send that text you know will put a smile on that person’s face. It’s also not too late to reconsider taking your life and fessing up to someone you trust that you are not okay.

Written by Funmi Hammed (hifunmi@gmail.com)
Edited by Eniola Ayedun (@cottononlinen_ on twitter)

Source: https://lolaayedun./2019/02/20/if-you-are-reading-this-its-not-too-late/


This might be helpful to somebody.

HajimeSaito:
Wow. Someone just woke up and began spitting out randomly generated stupidity from her under-developed and over-worked mental resources.

Spoken like a true, idiotic mooslim who has been brain washed into accepting inferiority.

If women are not equal to men, then if you are a female university graduate who is under employment, you don't deserve to earn the same salary as a male university student with similar qualifications.

This idiot is using the biological differences between men and women as an excuse to deny the fact that in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the law, men and women are generally treated the same way.

What a dimwit.

Brilliant.