Perfectskills01:


There are 2 important things I will say to you . The first will address you to relate with your childhood friend from distance. The second will give you the proper advice he should follow to better his life .

Law 10 says - Infection, avoid the unhappy and unlucky.

Cold but full of wisdom. So many valuable lessons to take away.
Many thanks

orchin:

He needs a skill that will pay him in dollars, you can discuss what interest him among all these digital skills available, and you get a good laptop for him and probably monthly stipends for subscriptions till he get a grip of that skill (a year maybe). Do monitor him and encourage him when needed....He must combine this with the teaching job too and earn too, hopefully this helps. It's won't be easy, buh life is hard. God bless you bro for the kind gesture towards him.

Many thanks bro. I don't know much about these digital skills but I'll do some research to learn more. Gracias

Good day fellow Redpillers.
I have a childhood friend. We were both science students during our secondary school days and we did study together. He got admission into medicine. I finished school while he was still studying. I lodged at his place whenever I travel to PH for aptitude tests.
Everything was good until life happened to my friend. He fell sick during his 3rd year in school that made him drop out of school. It wasn't an ordinary sickness, a little bit of mental illness too if you know what I mean. But he's fine now. Since he dropped out, life hasn't remained the same for him. Things have not been rosy. He was the hope of his family getting to that level of studying medicine.
I have stepped in a few times to assist him. He currently teaches but with poor remuneration. As you know, the corporate world doesn't regard folks who don't have certificates no matter how smart they are. He stopped teaching to run his own tutorial centre. I was very happy about this when he told me and I asked him to send me a business (tutorial) expansion plan and I funded with some token then. Unfortunately, it didn't yield much positive result. He claims the students don't pay up, probably becuase of the neighbourhood (mostly lower class) and the state of the economy doesn't help either.

In the spirit of men helping men, I need suggestions on what else can be done to help him get out of his situation. He is highly responsible and he's one who finds it very hard to ask me for money unless it's as a last resort. Most times, I just connect the dots during phone conversations and know he really needs help.
He's not asking me for any thing now but I feel sad each time we talk and still get to know his about his situation. He's back to the teaching job he once despised becuase of the poor remuneration.
I'd like to seek the counsel of Redpillers here, what else can he try his hands on to at least get him to a comfortable state. It's better to teach a man how to fish than give him fish. Recently I thought about enrolling him for a solar installation training and thereafter assist with some SEED fund to get him started. But I'd like to know if there are any other viable options out there that can be considered as well. I'd also like to protect myself by setting proper boundaries. I know him though..he's very reasonable and I admire his strong sense of responsibilities but he did something that pissed me off. He shared my contact with some of our other friends that we all grew up together in the neighbourhood. As a result, my whatsapp and phone lines were bombarded with a barrage of requests, financial assistance from folks. While I'm happy to help friends, I have come to a hard realization that I cannot help everyone and cannot solve Everyone's problem. I felt he should have used his discretion. I phoned him and we discuss this matter. He has taken the learning now. Beyond that, I see a man who has the zeal to accomplish great things but faces numerous challenges. Not even sure if to go ahead with this plan as I would not like to be seen as a father Christmas. This is coming at a huge sacrifice for me too but not convinced he sees that as he'd not have shared my contact if he does. Perhaps I'm wrong.

Kindly drop your suggestions.
I dropped this message here to also encourage men folks to help their fellow men as we all know how difficult it is out there to see men getting help.

Biglittlelois:
Today is father's day and everywhere is silent

Men can't even celebrate themselves properly but will cry "blue murder" when it's Mother's day

Lol

Noise making isn't the forte of men. We leave that to the women who do it better. It's a feminine thing.
Empty barrels.....fill in the words and you'd no why men work in silence and achieve so much.

No 5 is so crucial. A child that grows under their mother is likely to end up being a spoilt brat becuase mothers are highly receptive and tolerant of bad behaviours from their children.

The importance of a father figure in a child's life can never be over emphasized. You see that discipline a father instills should not be taken for granted?

Attached image is a classical example. The difderence between Arnold Schwarzenegger's two sons. One lives with their father and the other son lives with their mother.

Segzy19:
See as this man just allowed his wife to land him into shame. All because he couldn't control his wife. I am very sure that it was his wife that personally wanted Flavour to sing at the party...

Men, this is a big lesson for you. No be everything you go dey allow your wife. These women ain't always objective and reasonable.... Take major decisions always as a man... Only allow your wife's decisions to stand if they are reasonable and objective.... Otherwise you will end in shame.

Now, it's the man that is at the centre of the shame, not the wife

Truer words have never been spoken. This scenario has played out several times in my own nuclear family. My wife can come up with several ideas but they all have to pass through me. I would only approve of an idea after thorough vetting. Only ideas that pass the logic and reasonableness tests are the ones I approve. The others are dismissed. Some ideas are even outrightly dismissed as they appear highly irrational. As you rightly side, a man who doesn't lead his home is bound to encounter shame and problem like the one the pastor is going through. As a man you've got to be firm and uncompromising, else your wife would mess you up with their mostly irrational and emotional requests. Most men don't understand what being the head of the family means. If simply means leadership. If you fail to lead, nature abhors vacuum, your wife will take the lead then and we all know how that is going to end. Being the family head doesn't mean having to rub it on your wife's face, it's mostly done through actions. A lion doesn't need to announce its arrival.

Here's an example that just came to mind:
I remember visiting a restaurant with my family. My wife was in charge of placing orders. When the order arrived, I noticed she ordered nothing for the house help or she ordered something light like snacks for her. Can't remember exactly what happened. But I scolded her in a subtle manner and immediately demanded that she places a better order for the house help similar to our own order. If we're taking a cocktail or mocktail, the house help has to take one as well. At least ask her what she would like to take. Since then, there's no family outing we embark on that my wife would not ask our house help what she would like to take and adds her request to our order. She has since taken that lesson and assimilated it.

jafol:
The guy better do dna test on the last two. They look too igbotic

Damn! Your post was created in 2018 and damn right

idahme:


U are no where what I implied but you think I am where you implied?

Most times women only have one criteria for men which is money and then leave other character flaws and later come around to blame men without taking responsibility and accountability for their decisions. You choose a man based on money take the results hook line and sinker and chest the consequences that comes your way this is what most women are alien to accountability and responsibilities for their actions.

Women will call men most unprintable names like you asserted FFK is and I only drew attention to what women always want which FFK has in abundance which is money and how it correlates with your assertion you so exuded in the first place. You can run away from a man when he has what you want which is money, women only run away from men who don't have money, you can't approbate and still have the right to reprobate that is the synopsis of my reply to your first comment and boom you took out your intercontinental ballistic missile from your missile silos

Have a pleasant day beautiful one.

They pray for rain but don't want to deal with the mud that comes with it.

Some men are trying honestly. May I never born a male child that will bring embarrassment to my family name.
Simps have their own benefits I guess, else who will marry off damaged women and public properties.

Paternity fraud is real. I walked into a colleague's office yesterday. He was on a call and hung up shortly after I walked in. I explained my intent for coming and while talking, he asked "can you believe what just happened?" Apparently, a friend of his, a married woman is pregnant for another married man and would be delivering the baby in 3 months. The husband doesn't know yet and the married woman doesn't have any intention of disclosing but she's worried. I exclaimed "wow". Are you sure? He affirmed yes and said he was on a call with the said lady when I walked in.
"How could the lady have done that when abortion was an option in the early stage of the pregnancy?" I said. So she's 6 month gone and never deemed it fit to terminate the pregnancy early on. My colleague started defending her action oo that her husband cannot perform, her husband doesn't touch her and she was forced to do what she did. I couldn't but accept his argument and blamed the simp husband in my mind for not knowing that she kept a devil in the house. I asked my friend what the lady intended to do with the pregnancy and he responded that the lady will birth the baby as if it was her husband's. He said as per her culture (Imo state), the baby belongs to the husband. He said that based on what the lady had told him. I started suspecting my friend with the way he was defending the lady though. Perhaps he was the one who got her pregnant. It's also possible that he wasnt the one and was just playing devil's advocate based on his friendship with the lady.

All the same, he was laughing while talking that it's a normal thing on the island (Lekki and environs), he had seen things in his words.

Omo I shock o. Can a man be red pilled and still fall victim to paternity fraud? I highly doubt it. I always believe there will be signs but simps just choose to ignore it.

I confirmed yesteday that Paternity fraud is very real. Reading it in the news and hearing live narration from a friend have different effect on one.

Open your eyes kings. Head over heart. The consequences of simping are very devastating.

malcom1X:
Man I was a very good player back in the days, I used to travel searching for who to beat me in Mortal Kombat, Tekken and street fighter.

Plus FIFA. I ended GTA, God of war, COD, UNCHARTED,Tomb raider. Etc.

Now I get responsibilities. I miss those days.
But man needs to move on.

I can relate.
I bought a PS4 in Houston in 2017. Since then I don't think I have played it up to 10 times. I had forgotten that I was no longer the boy of those days that could play games from morning till night without getting exhausted. Now with overwhelming responsibilities that come with Adulthood, PS4 is the last thing I want to play. Even if I wanted to, I'd be exhausted playing a game in 10 mins.
I miss the good old days damn!

APOPTOSIS:

That's the reason most men are now saving for rainy days. They now see marriages as contract.
Most men have secret accounts where they stash money and wouldn't mind if the monied are lost to bankers upon their death.
Reason is that Nowadays Men now prepare for their old age. We can no longer rely on anyone including our kids. KIDS keep purchasing exotic stuffs for their mothers, only leaving their dad's with bottles of Dry Gin and Snuff boxes.
MEN take this Lady's (pocohantas) statement seriously. Save for your Old Age. Your kids will always remember their mothers even when they are EviL.

Not only that we now take savings seriously, we've also come to acknowledge the important role fathers played in our lives while growing up and spoil them silly. I still wired 500k to my dad yesterday. I woke him up with a phone call to ask about him, work etc and delivered the icing on the cake: "Dad, I sent you something".
This wouldn't have been possible without the redpill knowledge becuase I'm closer to my mom; we talk and chat freely while I hardly chat with my dad. I don't have that playful relationship with my dad. Most fathers are not visible despite shouldering most of the responsibilities while we're growing up. Becoming red pill aware opened my eyes and made to start respecting all the sacrifices he made. My mom like most moms takes the glory of course becuase they're more visible. Father's love is disciplinary in nature.

Essentially, this is to endorse your post and advise all men especially fathers in a similar fashion to ensure they have secret fund stashed somewhere for themselves in addition to their responsibility for providing for their families. The children will have more affection towards their mothers regardless of all the sacrifices the fathers have made. Nature has made it that way. Men should take this learning and ensure they spoil themselves silly once in a while, live a healthy life and have separate savings somewhere for old age.

Kenochi:
Let me take sometime to educate Nigerians before some people will come here and start claiming that the Economy is failing
Most operators in Nigeria's Upstream Oil and Gas Sector know that their game is up,there was a time Nigeria through the NNPCL had to resort to the importation of Refined Crude oil for close to 20 years.This allowed NNPCL and most Oil and Gas companies to participate in the controversy Oil Swap
Most Oil and Gas Companies used this fraudulent practice to shortchange the country, they collected crude oil and brought back Refined crude oil and still collected subsidy. Nigeria was fair game and all this big Oil companies looted Nigeria dry
Then something happened, the Dangote Refinery was mooted and this would put an end to this evil practice. Most Oil Companies knee that if this Refinery ever started their easy money was over
My people, this is what is happening. I am confident that more Oil companies will leave the country because their access to free money is gone for good

Still selling good properties with good titles at the Ibeju Lekki Industrial Hub....kindly check my signature

Seriously laughing at your ignorance.

No to any investment in agritech crowdfunding or investment of any kind in any nigerian-owned businesses I have no control over. Do not trust any Nigerian with your hard-earned money. You will shed premium tears.
2024 Plan: Convert my money to dollars and be staring at it.

I can't seem to wrap my head around how you ladies end up with this kind of men. And some men do not really know what it means to be called the "Head of the Family".

Let me break it down for you. This is a role with huge responsibilities. It means providing leadership, guidance and direction for your family. It doesn't mean sitting down, wasting away, messing and fooling around. You set family goals, assign some responsibilities to madam or give her the support to take initiatives to handle some things in the house. Set standards and enforce disciplines when necessary, show love to your wife and kids. This is how I run my family as a Redpiller. I have a huge sense of responsibilities. Anyway, may be that's just me. Men like the husband of this poster should be a big turn off for any reasonable woman. I have not seen that woman on earth who will not submit to me if we were a couple. Some men dey fall hand.

sotall:
You want to talk about history of Lagos and you are quoting a book written in 1913 by Yoruba Revisionists.

Like seriously

And some of you dont even go near that part that talks about Aworis paying tax to the Benins.

One of the many truths that prevails but you cant accept it.

Show us the ones written by Benin witches and cultists then now, let's dissect. Ode!

Most of the oil and gas assets are old. Old assets come with significant spend on operations and maintenance. It's just like a Nigerian used car. Some of these assets have been producing since 1970. It's one of major reasons these IOCs are exiting the country.

Why not mask their faces? Guy is immature. Mature in age but not in wisdom

Pukkalolo:




This is a very interesting question. Infact, I'll say, this is one of the most important question pertaining handling women.

Because at core, what's the difference between the girl who end up to being highly rebellious, stubborn, insolent to her man VS the girl that ends up being a highly respectful and valuable girlfriend/wife.

Well, the difference is called ACCOUNTABILITY.

If you want a chick to be responsible, respectful and submissive, then you want to make her "account" for any crappy behavior she exhibit.

One of the key skills of being good with women and making them responsible and accountable around you is having the ability to punish women for their crappy behavior.


Let me give you a quick simple example. Last month I was in a conversation on the phone with this new girl who was already gradually falling for me. While we were deep in our fun conversation, suddenly in her background I could hear a dude telling her, "that your toaster on the phone have started deceiving you again."

She laughed and responded to the guy, "go jhor, you are not serious."

At that moment, I immediately hang-up the call.

A minute later, she called my phone. When I picked the call, she said, "why did you just hangout on me like that"

I responded, saying, "talking to another guy while you are on the phone with me is a disrespect to my own fuckin time."

She started explaining that it's her colleague at work and it's nothing special.

She started apologizing seriously.

Anyways, after that incidents, she became more "responsible". I noticed anytime we are talking on the phone, she makes sure she distance herself from people because she doesn't wants anyone disturbing our conversation.

I made her account for her crappy attitude, she became more responsible.

I have hundreds of examples me calling women out on their bullshit behavior and making them apologize and being more respectful towards me.


When a girl misbehave and you call her out on her behavior, you are making her accountable for it. This actually makes her more careful and "submissvely responsible" when dealing with you. And this make her like and respect you more.

There are lots of spoilt, saucy and rude girls out there because most men are allowing these girls get away with being spoilt, saucy and rude attitude.

Every woman around me is totally submissive, feminine and "responsible" because they know I have zero tolerance for bullshit.

Come to think of it, couple of fellas in my social circle offline already know I'm the author of Top G dating secret(shameless approach), so they often closely observe to see how I'm handling the ladies around me. Now imagine I'm caught acting all "beta" around a saucy girl.....

Of course, that will screw up my rep.

You have to set rules/boundaries for certain things you won't accept from women. When you set rules and boundaries, you'll naturally force women to become accountable and responsible for their behavior.

If you want people to be responsible and accountable, set certain rules. That's why schools, company, organization and society have rules of conducts.

Rules is what keep the society together. If there was no rules, the world would be on fire.

Look here on nairaland for example. Nairaland has certain rules that must be adhere to. if you violate any of them, you get ban or something. Those rules naturally motivate all of us to be responsible here.

This is why anytime I see a guy saying things like this: "my woman is too stubborn," OR "my woman wahala too much,"

All I see is a weak dude who has no rules, boundaries or standards.

A weak man will accept bullshit from a woman, then he turns around and complain that's "this woman is giving me headache."

Or my wife denies me sex..I have seen topics on the front page where married men lament about being denied sex by wives. I wish those men can read your post. Aside may be after child birth or when she's on her period, I can't wrap my head around why wives will dictate when their man can have sex with them.

Your post is very spot on. Men must set rules and clear boundaries early on in their relationship with women. Call them out when they misbehave and set standards they must comply with if they want to remain in your life. This is an ongoing process and events will come up where one has to show leadership. And if you as a man fails to show leadership, her respect for you will go down. Once she goes outside those boundaries, make sure she's punished accordingly. Punishment in this context doesn't mean beating or violence. It can be a simple thing as withdrawing your time and making it harder to reach you. And once she realizes her mistakes and sues for peace, ask her to cook your favorite dish (with her money of course) and invite you over when it's ready.
I have done this for my babe before. She asked me when I wanted it done and gave her a convenient date I could be available.

I have come to realize that women have deep respect and submit to men who show strong leadership traits. They come online to pretend about hating the redpill and everything associated with redpill but deep down they are attracted to redpillers provided one isn't displaying their redpill awareness in a hateful and aggressive manner.

So most of these men that complain are nothing but pussy niggaz. Women only set rules for weak men. Nature abhors vacuum. Strong women only thrive when they're surrounded by weak men.

Rukevwe999:
A mother's love may be unconditional but at the same time can be choking.
A mother's overprotective nature may prevent a man from taking risks and thus the man cannot fully grow. A man too tethered to his mother cannot experience full intimacy with a woman. In fact his woman becomes like a second wife.
It's harder to break from a mother's apron strings than that of any woman, because it holds you mentally and spiritually.
Love your mother wholeheartedly but know the boundaries you must keep with her as you grow.

I agree. A man has not become a man yet when his mother still makes decisions for him. Moms are generally risk averse. When I finished school, I went against several of my mom's wishes and advice which came from a place of fear and being too over protective. I took risks. I made my own decisions and own up to the consequences which a vast majority of those were positive. The only negative one if I recall was my investment losses. She sounded several warnings while investing in agritech crowdfunding. I was convinced I had done thorough due diligence analysis. Omo I lost all of it. It was the one time my mom was right.

narite:

That lady might have not eaten anything all day and probably there is no hope that something will come at the end of the day. If it turns out that this is the precarious situation she is in, You have no idea the blessings you might have thrown away by not buying her just one Donut.

There is nothing wrong in stretching out a hand to someone you are just seeing for the first time; what or who they are, the things you have heard about them shouldn’t not really matter to you. Good is good and it should be rendered unconditionally. This is the grandeur purpose of everything in existence. A Cup will allow you to drink water with it, whether you are bad or good does not really matter to that cup.

Lastly, simping is not about being brutal to ladies right from day one. Yes! You might need to become brutal but it is only when you are being taken for granted. This is the moment you stop and walk away from her.

A man can be simping to his fellow man, being taken for granted by his friends, not appreciating or seeing any worth in him and taking the things he does for them as nothing. This is where you stop and move on. Move on to those who really values and appreciate the things you do for them and not actually becoming a just brutal person.

One day, those that you left behind will begin to see your true value but they have blown their chance. They probably will want to move back into your life but do not look back. Only then will they truly learn something significant from that experience and you would have helped them grow.

Well said!
Guys let's calm down and chill. Redpill isn't about being too tough or aggressive towards women. The response to the lady was quite harsh. Personally, I'm able to decipher an innocent request vs when I'm being taken for granted. The poster probably responsed based on suspicion the lady might be trying to rip him off.
Be kind, not nice! Take it easy

Difference between a wife and mother:

Wife: Costs you money

Mother: Saves you money.

Wife's love: Conditional.

Mother's love: Unconditional

Choose who you entrust all your assets and everything you've worked in life carefully.

When chips are down, who do you trust more to have your back? Always save for the rainy days.

SoNature:
Who has noticed that the world is making efforts to empower women more than men?
Even in Nigeria, you see a lot of grants and scholarships meant for females alone, none for men alone. They have a ministry of women affairs, but there's no ministry of men affairs.

When the west empowered their women, their family units and marriages were ruined. In summary, empower women, but never ever neglect the men because it comes with a hefty price. I hope Nigerian leaders don't self-destruct.

And who are the folks in the forefront of this if not men themselves? Men will be the architect of their own misfortune. No one is coming to rescue men if men keep prioritizing women's interests over their own interests. Nowadays, we have so many effeminate men. Disgusting set of men who claim to be feminists. I have many of them as colleagues. It's always about the women's interests but will never talk about theirs.

Empower a woman, it benefits only her. Empower a man and you empower several people. A rich woman will never look the side of a broke man. Instead will look for a richer man. But a rich man will marry a broke lady and empower everyone in her generation.

Women will not put in the same amount of work and effort men put into work, yet they want to claim equal pay. More like reaping where they did not sow.
You claim men are paid more but will keep mute on the longer working hours men put in and the initiatives and risks men put in that translate to measurable results for organizations they work for.
Disgusting entitlement mentality.

Most of us in my workplace that work longer hours than required are men while most women will have left at the normal closing hours. The same set of people are the ones claiming equal pay.

CuteNbad:
UPDATE ON THIS:

Firstly, thank y'all for your inputs. But also I want y'all to understand that love can make us do illogical things. I'm currently in my finals and she's in her second year. We're both majoring in Same course.

Lately, I've been trying to get her out of my mind. Focusing on more important things like my project, studying for upcoming quizzes and all but it's still difficult as from time to time she still crosses my heart.

The thing is when the going was good. We( she and I) both shared lots of great moments and this things keeps playing on a loop in my head.

REAL TIME UPDATE:

After I called her twice on Friday of which she didn't respond. I messaged her on WhatsApp and demanded an explanation for why she didn't pickup my call. Then she said this.

Ps: this conversation took place on Saturday. And today is Monday and I'm yet to give her a reply. I felt it's bullshit cause this isn't the first time she'll be give this same excuses.


Right now I'm left with three options.
1. Bleep her and let her go

2. Let her go

3. Keep pushing and being there for her till she realises I'm the only one there for her in the end.

So what will you do in my shoes.

I need your advice on this.

Ps: I still love this girl.

Will Smith protege, welldone o. With all the advice you got, you still wrote this pile of shit? Nigga like seriously? Damn!

Martinez39s:
I thought as much. Well, I used to be like you growing up, but experience and understanding have made me to unapologetically prioritise sound decisions and my well-being at the expense of emphatic/moral feelings or blue-pill mindsets that may sabotage me. Don't get me wrong, I am still a kind fellow, but logic, reasoning and truth must come first.

Truth and sound reasoning may be ignored, but the consequences of ignoring them cannot be avoided. Finally, take calm in the fact that it is perfectly normal for red pill execution to demand some level of coldness and indifference from time to time to prevent you from getting fleeced, played and ensure positive/desired female response. What's best for us may not always resonate with our feelings.

This is very well said. I will forever hold these nuggets dear to my heart.

Martinez39s:
@UppaZakum

Just to add, do pardon me if my posts addressed rudimentary red pill stuff you already knew. I was also using the posts to teach novices who might be in your situation.

Gotcha!!

Martinez39s:
The ewure just dey change mouth. Once it saw UppaZakum wasn't buying his nonsense, it quickly shifted post.

I just finished reading all the posts pertaining to UppaZakum's matter. UppaZakum seems like a logical dude that has really swallowed a good dose of the red pill. Thank goodness, he came for wise counsel, because it would have been a shame for a man privy to the knowledge we share here to fall yakata.

I pride myself in having strong analytical skills. It's one area I'm well respected for. Thanks for your kind words.

I stumbled on the redpill thread just like play and out of boredoom for the typical threads I visit on Nairaland. Back in the day, I used to explore the jobs/vacancies and career sections of nairaland, later moved to politics but couldn't stand the hateful bickerings. Went to the family section, too boring for my liking. Then I decided to check out the romance section. Voila! Stumbled on this thread. Thank God it was on the first page becuase I never scroll past the first page. Read the first few pages and it resonated with me. I became glued to the thread since them. Eventually decided to register so i can acknowledge the good work by y'all and also chime in when necessary. Respect to all the OGs!

Martinez39s:
[3]
..... continued from HERE.

@UppaZakum
A nice plan. Just don't mind her; forge ahead with your plan instead. Let her sort herself out. If possible, don't take her abroad. Put yourself first and keep yourself safe.

Well, you know what's up and the right route to take, but for some reason something is holding you back. Could it be that you don't want to be inadvertently mean and cruel to who you perceive to be a good woman? Well, if that's the case, find calm in the fact that it is perfectly normal for red pill execution to demand some level of coldness and indifference from time to time to prevent you from getting fleeced, played and ensure positive/desired female response. Besides, I will always repeat that you don't take your wife to stay with you permanently in a western society.


Glad you are not easily carried away. You might think you know your woman, until certain situations reveal a beast and personality you never knew of.

Ask men if the version of their wives they saw in the divorce court, western environment (especially when the migration is permanent), or breadwinning position are the versions they experienced during dating (before marriage) or when they were breadwinners. Even western men who marry western women see a different version of their wives when situation changes... you grab? Even western divorce attorneys and divorced men have a saying: "you never know your wife until you meet her in court."

My point is, instead of thinking you know your wife and banking on that, just follow the red pill which never fails. Finally, I must repeat:
(1) Always put yourself first,
(2) Never put yourself in a situation where you depend on a woman's money,
(3) Ensure that you are always above and bigger than your woman. Never help elevate your woman's level to yours or above yours. If a women must grow, let it be without your help.
(4) To add, never put your safety, well-being, and financial situation at risk because you want to accommodate the interests of a woman. The games women can play are too inconsiderate and unforgiving for men who take such risks or give too much benefit of doubt.

typing...

Edit: next part is HERE.

This was the last post I read last night.
Cont'd.
No 4 is spot on! Truer words have never been said. I had a conversation recently with a colleague and it went like this:
Colleague: informed me of his plans to relocate to Canada next year.

Me: Hmm good idea! But you have a good and promising career here. What's driving your relocation move?

Colleague: My wife's workplace has a cap for growth. So I want her to be in environment where there are no boundaries for her to grow.

Me: Hmm. Thinking on the spot that If he were my brother, I'd have landed him a resounding slap. But again redpill warns against public display of redpill especially in a sensitive environment such as a work place. My redpill instinct kicks in and i had to put my emotions in check and advised him like a brother.
"Make sure you think about it very well. Relocation decison can be very costly. Make sure you put yourself first; I know you want the best for your wife but make sure your interests are well protected. Are you going to give up a lucrative career just like that?
So I still had to pass my redpill advice to him in a way that doesn't come across as being critical. I tried as much as possible to drop subtle redpill nuggets and wish that he'd be smart enough to decipher them and reevaluate his plans accordingly.

Colleague: kept mute. Not even an acknowledgement or a thank you.

Eventually, I regretted advising him. I felt really bad. This is a guy that is always wanting to shove his feminism on us. He never shys to tell us that he's a proud feminist. He grew up without a father figure. We've had few conversations in the past where he dishes out bluepill ideologies such as believing all women when they claim rape and yours truly never also fails to dismantle his flawed ideologies with sound logical reasoning without coming across as condescending or in a way that shows I'm Redpilled. Only those with discerning eyes will know I'm red-pilled.
I only analyse issues when they come up from a strong logical stand point. It's always a debate between emotions and logic.

When I read your no 4, it reminded me of that conversation. Many men like this guy have actually made terrible decisions like this by giving up their lucrative careers in order to futher their wives' interests. And once their wives got what they need, the natural course of hypergamy sets in. In the end, most of these men end up being miserable and start contemplating suicides.

While it's not a bad decision to relocate afterall I'm considering same, the motive makes lot of difference. Mine is purely driven by self development, furthering my ambition, acquiring advanced knowledge and positioning myself for the future benefiting my family eventually.

I under stand that we men can be very selfless. Omo men should wise up o. Make sure you have critically evaluated the opportunity cost of your selflessness.

You'd be shocked to know that a vast majority of relocation moves are initiated by the wives. Be wise and guided.

Martinez39s:
[3]
..... continued from HERE.

@UppaZakum
A nice plan. Just don't mind her; forge ahead with your plan instead. Let her sort herself out. If possible, don't take her abroad. Put yourself first and keep yourself safe.

Well, you know what's up and the right route to take, but for some reason something is holding you back. Could it be that you don't want to be inadvertently mean and cruel to who you perceive to be a good woman? Well, if that's the case, red pill execution will demand some level of coldness andindifference from time to time to prevent you from getting fleeced, played and ensure positive/desired female response. Besides, I will always repeat that you don't take your wife to stay with you permanently in a western society.


Glad you are not easily carried away. You might think you know your woman, until certain situations reveal a beast and personality you never knew of.

Ask men if the version of their wives they saw in the divorce court, western environment (especially when the migration is permanent), or breadwinning position are the versions they experienced during dating (before marriage) or when they were breadwinners. Even western who marry western women see a different version of their wives when situation changes... you grab? Even western divorce attorneys and divorced men have a saying: "you never know your wife until you meet her in court."

My point is, instead of thinking you know your wife and banking on that, just follow the red pill which never fails. Finally, I must repeat:
(1) Always put yourself first,
(2) Never put yourself in a situation where you depend on a woman's money,
(3) Ensure that you are always above and bigger than your woman. Never help elevate your woman's level to yours or above yours. If a women must grow, let it be without your help.
(4) To add, never put your safety, well-being, and financial situation at risk because you want to accommodate the interests of a woman. The games women can play are too inconsiderate and unforgiving for men who take such risks or give too much benefit of doubt.

typing...

Edit: next part is HERE.

"Well, you know what's up and the right route to take, but for some reason something is holding you back. Could it be that you don't want to be inadvertently mean and cruel to who you perceive to be a good woman? "

You were in the spirit bro when you typed that. This was exactly my situation before i brought it here. You nailed it!

Honestly, I'm one kind of person that sometimes allow my extreme level of empathy to get in the way of my decision making. I couldn't believe humans are capable of doing some evils just becuase i don't do it then i start to see every one in that light. It often takes strong resistance or force within to make sure that I don't let that flawed thinking cloud my decision. That's one of the reasons I follow this thread religiously. It brings me back to reality of the facts that humans especially women can be very mean if i let my guards down!

Martinez39s:
[2]
... continued from HERE.

@UppaZakum

Wise of you to realise where you bleeped up. A man must never ever let a woman have full access to how much he earns, has, or the flow of his money. Of course, they will try to find, but never let them... e get why. If they don't like it, they either hold their peace, or move on to a new husband that will show them his financial records. It is that simple.

By the way, I am curious as to the life you've led and, if any, previous marital dynamics in which you found it okay to let her in on your finances. Where you always a red pill guy during your marriage? Or did you just slip up in the moment due to ignorance or temporary weakness?

Well, redpillers know that you don't take what comes out of a woman's mouth seriously. Of course, she will give her best on this plan of hers and say anything to convince you to support her plan, even making promises she knows she won't keep. This is the feelings/emotions of the moment; even if she thinks she will keep to her promise, situation will expose her female nature and she will follow suit without remorse. All that really matters to her is her objective. It is left for you as a red pill guy to detect this and remain steadfast in not yielding to feminine wiles.

As for her plan to support you when she is stable and you need her help, I need not say much. You will see a different side of your wife if you find yourself in this situation, and you will certainly not like it. You will most likely not believe what you are seeing. Worse is if she happens to meet other well-to-do men that she feels are above her new level and better than her dependent husband.

Very good.


typing....

Edit: next post is HERE.

I feel it was ignorance on my part. My instincts have always kicked against letting her know about my finances, I had just not muster the courage to tighten the loose ends. This is partly because I don't like to disturbed at work. Requests to pay for
one thing or the other (school fees, groceries, internet services, prepaid etc) get on my nerve. So I'd be like just fucking go in make the payments and explain to me later. There are also times I need her to go to bureau de change. All of those made me give her acesss. Again, i have stopped that now following the advice i got here.

Martinez39s:
THIS UppaZakum's POST is what I am responding to, bit by bit.

[1]
As promised, I will now share my perspective. Also, for the sake of others that will hope to learn, I will delve into much details.

Great! Glad to see you are devoted to improving yourself and you have crafted a solid plan to undertake such improvement. Nothing wrong here.

Well, your wife has seen an unmissable opportunity to achieve financial independence for herself in a more successful, liberal society that gives women insane leverage in marriage... or more generally, the intersexual dynamic.

This opportunity deeply aligns with her personal interests, and as a woman, she will put her interests and feelings without regard to the sacrifices and costs incurred by her man. Afterall, in a woman's eyes, a man is simply a vehicle to her destination/objective in her survival script. You must have noticed this in the way she always remained unmindful of your logical reservations and possible downsides you will face if you strung her along. This is not a mistake; your wife knows what she is doing.

If she has calculated that the vehicle is no longer needed, it will be brutally discarded, resented and/or snubbed, regardless of the "damages" and sacrifices the vehicle endured (willingly or unwillingly) to get her to her destination/objective. You become in her eyes a deadweight that slows her down. This happens when you are no longer needed; when you have landed beneath her; or when you financially depend on her.

You must take note of the last two paragraphs: do not let the playfulness, respect, sex, show of kindness and present profession of love from your wife beguile you into disbelieving them. Never get lost in the sauce. If you dismiss the red pill here and you succumb to the situations I warned you against after taking your wife abroad, you will discover real quick that you never really knew your wife. Also, just to add, the fact that some ladies spent their whole lives in Nigeria doesn't mean they are not aware of how domestic, marital and child support laws work over there.

Whatever you do with your woman, ensure you always put yourself first and you are above her. Never raise her to your level or above it, and never be in a situation where you depend on her financially. If a woman wants to grow, let her hustle it on her own. If possible, don't take her abroad. Her behaviour (due to the Nigerian environment, leverage, and your masculine attitude here) won't necessarily be the same in the western environment. The Western world corrupts and embolden women with impunity. If things are working well for you here, leave her here and go pursue your dreams. As you get better, your family will benefit from it.


typing....

Edit: next part is HERE.

Well said! Eveything you said other than the part where you suggests leaving her in Nigeria aligns with my thinking and the reasonable advice I got from folks here.

As for going alone, it may not be realistic for me as I plan to move my kids abroad as well to continue their education. I feel she could be useful to take care of my kids by coming along.

Honestly, I don't feel threatened neither am I worried by what she might turn out to be eventually. My own priority is to have enough safeguards in place for my own good. We can't because of accidents or plane crashes stop boarding buses or airplanes right? A good chess player anticipates the moves of their opponent before they make them. So when they make them, he just smiles.