A woman is sitting in a fancy restaurant with some friends when she let’s go a massive fart.

The waiter is standing behind her, so she loudly says,
“Waiter, will you please stop that!”

“Certainly madam,” says the waiter. “Which way did you sent it?”

Olumba church is bad news, I have been there and it is the highway to hell. I was made to attend that occultic gathering in my earlier days as a child by my uncle who was my guardian. There is nothing good in the gathering. Dont use the word church for it, it is not and will never be related to the body of christ. It stills worship from God. It is only a scam to enrich the Obu family who run organisation mafia style. They call themselves the holy family, the God family on earth. Olumba Obu is dead now, his son roland obu has taken over godship of the organization. Have you ever heard of a dead god?

People are just so naive that they sometimes don't stop to think. How can the creator of the heaven and the earth die and be buried?

Christ came for a purpose, to be offered as a sacrifice, when i was young and being made to congregate with this hell bound congregation, the doctorine was that olumba would never die because he has come to establish the kingdom of heaven on earth, that jesus christ was not going to fall from the sky but that god has come and that he is going to produce his family here. hence roland who is now head was pronounced king of kings, the expected christ and his daughter was named holy queen mother, the person of mary mother of christ.

The family own and run one of the biggest plantations in cross river state, they have built a large business empire from monies generated from members (most are societal dejects, frustrated people facing issues in life). I must mention that my uncle was forced into the gathering when he lost all he had worked for in life and had no where to turn.

Going to the BCs as it is called is signing up a contract with the devil for your soul, it takes the grace of God to break that bound. Don't go near there.

to before warned is to before armed.

Well chidi,
I believe if you add a little more fat, you could physically look more like pastor chris, i see a trace of resemblance. But on the spiritual aspect, if you are spirit filled, you can bet you really look like him. After all I look in the mirror and I see The image of God which also is the image of Christ. You know jesus Christ told us that if we have seen him, we have seen the father. And we being born again bear the semblance of christ. So if you look like Christ and pastor Chris looks like Christ, then no doubt you look like him.

Cheer up you are a look alike of one of the greatest men of your generation. Why not go out and be like him? Win some souls with the wonderful gift you have, learn of him and your resemblance shall not be in vain.

In order to stop dreaming of eating in your dreams, you must discipline yourself about food.  I discover that when ever i over feed myself, i find myself eating in dreams.  Learn to control your yarnings for food in the physical, that way you will be able to control what you eat in your dream.

To those who think it is harmless to eat in dreams, think again.  if you are not spirit filled, you could be feed with all manners of junk in your dream and it will affect you nagatively.

I have had experience in times pass before i became born again when i see myself eating in my dream and will wake up with a filled tommy and general body weakness and sickness.   no be lie.

A psychiatrist is conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he says.

To the first mother he says, “You’re obsessed with eating. So you’ve named your daughter Candy.”

To the second Mum he says, “You’re obsessed with money. So you’ve you’re your daughter Penny.”

He turns to the third Mom and says, “Your obsession is with alcohol. So you’ve named your child Brandy.”

At this point, the fourth mother, gets up, takes her son by the hand and whispers. “Come on, dic k, we’re leaving!”

Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. What’s six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
A. Money.

Q. What’s the best thing about a Mouth Action?
A. Ten minutes of silence.

Q. Why do men joysticks?
A. So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What do Orange cartons and women have in common?
A: It’s not the shape or the size that matters, or even how sweet the juice is. It’s getting the flaps to open that count!

Laugh Your Way to Good Health

A professor is walking along a very narrow street when he comes face to face with a
rival. The street is too narrow for two people to pass. The rival pulls himself up to his
full height, says sarcastically, "I never make way for fools!"
Smiling, the professor steps and says, "O, I always do!"

Get the Laugh Of Your Life Here