A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right - women can browse men from floors of choices.
Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup - with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?
So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband"s away!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband says; "When I"m gone you"ll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I"d want another man like you!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn"t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It"s $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I"ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I"ll get you some nails and wood.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a restaurant. The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a conversation.
He asks the Frenchman, “When you eat bread, do you eat all of it?”
“Mais oui!, of course!” responds the Frenchman.
“Well,” says the American, “we only eat the soft part of it. The rest we collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill. What comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
“And what about steaks?” he continues. “Do you eat all parts of them?”
“Bien sur! We do,” replies the Frenchman.
“You don’t say!” says the America, grinning. “We don’t! We only eat the meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers, take to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little steaks that we
sell in France.”
Now the Frenchman is really riled . So he asks, “And what do Americans do with their used condoms?”
“Hey, we throw them away of course,” says the American.
“Ha!” exclaims the Frenchman. “We collect them in containers, take them to a factory and put them through a mill. What comes out is chewing gum that we sell in America!”

A lady with her baby is sitting in a bus beside the driver… “What an ugly baby!”, said the driver to the lady.
Feeling insulted, she moved to another seat and murmurred a few things under her breathe. The man next to her asked, “What happened?”
“The driver just insulted me!” she cried. Sympathetic, the man offered, “That bastard, he shouldn’t have insulted you! Go, get his number. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What"d You Think

You walk into a cafe..for a cup of coffee and right there by ur side is a beautiful damsel..hu u cant stop gazing at...wow u think..bam bam ur hart pumps! after all the normal wooings(s)..4 d day, u say u have fallen in love...! Damn, when u fall in love..u become blind, blind to the little faults and behaviours dat make us hu we r....wen d dust finally settles and the scales from ur eye lids fall off..u then say u r no longer in love! A wise persons 1ce told me dat "u grow in love" and not fall in love becos wen u fall, u dont have time to tink and make dicizions..but u grow, u learn how to balance btw ur life and ur lover"s...

If really 2 love bird can be for real? The answer is (Yes). But if only, they are sincere and trustworthy to each other. Play with each others, share love stories together... Go for Outing often.. Talk about positive future about themself. Let both parties benefit from each other. Let (I LOVE YOU), (I MISS YOU), (YOUR BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME),(YOUR MY ONE & ONLY)etc. Be the main topic of each text you send. Appreciate yourself always. And you will see the meaning of true love..

A female teacher,was
having a
problem with Udeme in her
class of 3rd grade.
Udeme said 'M'am, I should
b in
4th grade, i'm smarter than
my sis
& she's in the 4th grade'.
The M'am {Teacher} had
heard
enough of his complains &
took
Udeme 2 the Principal's
office.
She explained everything 2
the
Principal who decided 2 test
Udeme with some questions
that a 4th grade should
know.
Principal: What's 3 + 3?
Udeme: 6
Principal: 6 + 6?
Udeme: 12
& so on..
The Principal asked the boy
many
questions & Udeme got
them right.
The Principal then asked
M'am 2
send Udeme 2 4th grade.
M'am decided 2 ask some
more
questions & the Principal
agreed.
M'am: What does a cow
have 4
of, that I've only 2 of?
Udeme: Legs
M'am: What's in ur pants
that u
have but I dont have?
Udeme: Pockets
M'am: What starts wit a C
&
ends
with T, is hairy, oval,
delicious &
contains thin whitish liquid?
Udeme: Coconut
M'am: What goes in hard &
pink
then comes out soft &
sticky?
The principal's eyes open
really
wide,but b4 he could stop
the
answer, the boy was taking
charge.
Udeme: Bubble Gum
M'am: U stick ur poles inside
me. U
tie me down 2 get me up, I
get wet b4 u do. What am
I?
Udeme: Tent
The principal was looking
restless
M'am: A finger goes in me.
U
fiddle
with me when u're bored.
The best man always has
me 1st n what am I?
Udeme: Wedding Ring
M'am: I come in many sizes.
When
Ï'm not well, I drip. When u
blow
me,u feel good?
Udeme: Nose
M'am: I've a stiff shaft. My
tip
penetrates,I come with a
quiver
Udeme:Arrow
M'am: What starts wit 'F' &
ends
with a 'K' & if u dont get it,
u've 2
use ur hand?
Udeme:Fork
M'am: Whats it that all men
have,it's longer in some
men than
others,the Pope doesn't
use his & a man gives it 2
his wife after
marriage?
Udeme: Surname
M'am: What part of the man
has no bone, but has
muscles with a lot of veins
like pumpin & is responsible
4 making love?
Udeme: Heart
The principal breathed a
sigh of
relief & told the teacher:-
'Send
Udeme 2 University, I got
the last
10 questions wrong myself!

UDEME'S STORY

I was in the public toilets
and had just sat down, a voice
from the next cubicle said “Hi !,
how are you ?” Embarrassed, I
said, “I’m doing fine”. The
voice said “So what are you up
to ?”. I said, “Just doing the
same as you, sitting here !”.
From next door, “Can I come
over?”. Annoyed, I said ”
rather busy right now”. The
voice said, “Listen, i will have to
call you back, there’s an idiot
next door answering all my
questions"

Peter : "I want my money now!"
Tom : I'll kill myself so that I wont pay you
*he pulled a gun and shot himself dead*
Peter : "hahaha..... If you think you will get
away with my money then you are wrong, I
will follow you until you pay me *he takes
the gun and shot himself dead as well*
Udeme : Was watching from a distance he
laughed n said "these guys are funny, I want
to watch this till the end".... he also took the
gun and killed himself!
SO IF U WANT 2 KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT,
U KNOW WHAT 2 DO....

UDEME VS FATHER-IN-LAW Young man, you coming
to seek my daughter’s
hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s
a sign of disrespect! Akpors: Sir, I only chew gum
when I drink or
smoke. Father-In-Law: You mean u drink & smoke
and you
are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Akpors: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the
club. Father-In-Law: U club too? Akpors: I’m sorry
sir, I
started clubbing when I came out of prison. Father-
In-Law:-U’ve also been in prison before? Oh
my God! Akpors: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I
killed
somebody! Father-In-Law:-What!!! U’re a killer
Akpors: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a
certain man that didn’t allow me marry his
daughter so I killed him. Father-In-Law: You are
highly welcome my son. U
are on the right track. U are absolutely the right
man for my daughter.

Udeme always comes to a
restaurant in my neighbourhood to eat rice and stew.
There was a day he came as usual
and ordered for rice and stew but was told stew was still been prepared. He then requested for rice and ate it. After eating, he was told stew was ready. He requested for stew and drank it. After drinking, he collapsed terribly, holding his stomach and started rolling on the floor. I rushed down to him and asked; What is wrong with you?.
He replied; I am mixing the rice and the stew.

I was coming home saturday evening after a hectic day and found a small bag on the ground. I opened it and behold what I found inside; $20,000 dollars!! Fear first catch me, but I took the bag home and when ...I emptied It, I found some Documents, ID card, ATM card and an Iphone. I thought about throwing the sim away and keep the phone and also dispose the documents and keep the money. After a long thought, I decided to leave things as they were, hoping that the owner would call. Not long after a call came through on the Iphone, I picked and talked with the caller. Apparently it was the owner of the bag coz he named absolutely every content of the bag. We met afterwards and i handed him the bag. he offered me $2,000 dollars but I turned it down , he collected my number and i left. Yesterday he called me and offered me a job at Chevron worth 750,000 Naira per month, a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished, and a 2012 BMW X6 As I was smiling and testing the car my brother just slapped me and said "Oya Oya Oya Wake up eba don ready.

Money has lots of names!!!
In church we call it (Offering)
In a wedding we call it (Bride price)
When you owe someone (Loan )
When we pay the government (Tax)
In court (maintenance)
Government to old age people (Pension)
Boss to workers (Salary)
And when a Boyfriend gives to his Girlfriend
what do you call it?

Funny Post (written in pidgin)
All na the same!
1.You buy egg roll N150, I buy buns N20 boil
egg N30, all na N50 ‪#‎ all‬na d same, money
cannot waste#
2.You buy Five Alive N300; I buy , orange
+mango+pineapple N80, mine own na
natural, money cannot waste#
3. Nepa cut your power, you pay N2000
reconnection fee sharp sharp; me I wait, for
night I call electrician pay am N200 fix the
wire back, money cannot waste#
4. You buy Milo, peak milk and sugar; me I
buy cowbell chocolate which already
contains every, Money no waste#
5. You pay 5k go watch p.square show, me I
buy the pirated CD N100 watch n sing along,
money no waste#
6. You pay N1000 for cinema buy pop corn
N500; I buy 20-in-1 DVD, dey my house dey
chop N50 pop corn, movie dey show, money
cannot waste#
7. You buy red bull N400 to become active,
me I buy paraga N20, i'm super active,
mtchew, money cannot waste#
8. You buy Don Simon, I buy zobo add
squaddy, , all na red wine#
9. You fix brazillian hair 100k; I buy
xpressions attachment N350, I fine pass you,
guys dont even know the difference,
hahahahaa#
10. You go club for V.Island buy hennesey
40k, me I enter joint for area buy alomo
N200, all na higness#
11. You pay dstv 9k to watch match, me I
pay N50 for viewing centre,, all na
de same#
12. You buy BB torch 95k, me I buy BB Storm
15k, sheybi na ping all of us they ping#
ADD YOURS...

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house.
Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out,you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat.
Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat bitch in the kitchen."

ASUU. PERSONALLY
Personally.... ....x3
Personally.... ....x3
Personally i once had it
I don taya 2 feed my body
I just dey fear my books like say i
neva jacked it.People reason dat am jokin like it
Aaaah............Na wetin b dis
Saga............Dem no won gree
Them say FG no gree pay
Chorus.........
Personally,professionally,dis
strike is nt intentionally,but d effect on us is physically,do dey want us 2 go radically,emotionally
psychologicallyour gals forcefully
are going sexually,
kelechically,biologically,
dramatically and dem no won gree
Chorus.........
Yeah exceptionally,we need 2 go in spiritually.Them reason na financially but magicaly dem dey grove internationally
Nawa,,,,nawatically
Haba....habatically waka na from
my dictionary
Saga.....Dem no won gree
They sey dem no won gree
Chorus.................
ASUU Vs FG=Lord pls intervene..
Gud afrnoon palz,ao is ur day goingcally

Does it hurtrs,
when the one u love is in love with someone else or doesn"t love you back.
I never fall in love, but have seen, heard people talk about it.
since i yet to experience it, that is why i am asking does it hurts?
Does it hurtrs,
when the one u love is in love with someone else or doesn"t love you back.
I never fall in love, but have seen, heard people talk about it.
since i yet to experience it, that is why i am asking does it hurts?

When my girlfriend started telling me that we barely have fun anymore, I thought it was time to change that. Since I only see her every weekend, I thought it be fun to plan a whole day date. I decided to take her to play laser tag. When she found out we were going she was so happy because she had never played it before. After that we decided to play games at her favorite arcade. We played air hockey and when we were done we decided to eat. We went to a buffet and we had a great time laughing with each other. In return, I had the best lovemaking ever! She told me it was one of those dates that she will remember forever and will be proud to brag about it to all of her friends. I am happy to say I completed my goal and got my title as "The Best Boyfriend." Sometimes it doesn"t hurt to act like a kid again when you’re with the one you love.

there are some personality traits that are common among men and these traits have been proven to attract a man and makes him want to spend the rest of his life with you as a woman. when you posses these magnetic personality, any man you come across would want to be with and never want to leave you except you forceful distance yourself away from him.
these traits are:
sense of humor;
if you keep a man laughinh his desire to keep you for life keeps escalating.
intelligence and creativity:
using your intelligence to suprise him in an unique.unexpected way is quite charming.
thoughfulness:
if you can let a man know that you were thinkingabout him in a way that doesn;t say i"m lonely and i need you, then he wll love it. send him a short witth text message that lets him know that he"s on your mind. perception or noticing details: men love to be noticed, men are impressed by women who notice things about them that make them unique.unexpected way is quite charming.
confidence and playful:
men are magnetically attracted to a woman who are just a little but too playful or coocky.
talent and knowledge:
if you have got something that you are an expert in, it can be really attractive. a man would want to spend the rest of his life with a woman he can be proud of based on her talent and the knowledge she posses.
understanding:
this is the basic foundation of getting a man hook to you for as long as you wish. most men would never leave a woman who understand their perception and appreciate them. HAVING GREAT QUALITIES THAT DEMONSTRATE STRONG CHARACTER. Honest- being consistent in words and action. a gunuine giver men get tired of women who take advantage of them.
Kind to everyone being rude to people is a turn off of men. A love for people and life, mild temper, patience, avoid being moody and sensitive. it goes on and onthink about your best qualities and worst qualities, working on the more challenging traits. knowing you can be his best friend to depend on you to be a good listener and not judge him.

It’s been seven years since Aga got married without a child. She was quite lucky she was married to a good family because her in-laws never for once questioned her inability to have kids. Also, her husband stood by her through it all, even when doctors said her chances of conceiving were very slim.
However, one ugly night, men of the underworld came knocking at the Nels’ home and they took away all they had… and raped Aga. That very night, everything changed in the Nels family.
Few weeks later, she realized she was pregnant and all hell was let loose by her husband. He wanted Aga to go flush the bastard out, but Aga felt it was her only chance of ever having a child. Aga was torn between keeping the pregnancy and having an abortion.
We sought the view of some women what action they would take if they were in Aga’s shoes. We asked some women if they would abort or leave a pregnancy, which came as a result of being raped?
What do you think about is the best solution...to resolve this problem?

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires. All love shifts and changes. I don"t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. Can someone be in love all the time?

It kinda of weird if one should see a flying bat in the afternoon,there must be a very genuine reason for that bat. It sounds very funny and ****** but i really need your candid answers on this issue that has been troubling me. My ex said some harsh words to me and the last statement she made was TRUE LUST. I am really confused as i dont seems to understand what she meant by the word. Anyone has any idea

3C'S IN TRUE LOVE 1. CHEMISTRY. Does he make your heart pound and your toes curl? When you"re alone in bed at night, do you replay all his tender touches, the words he used to make your heart melt? At the end of a date, do you want to have your way with him right there on the doorstep? If, however, you don"t feel this way yet, don"t worry. Remember, women are like Crock-Pots, they heat up slowly, and men are like microwaves, instantly ready to go. As long as you think he"s cute and you have fun with him, he"s a contender.
2. Compatibility. How do you "roll" together? Are you comfortable with silence? Do you feel constant pressure to prove yourself to him, or does he make you feel like you"re perfect the way you are? Do you "get" each other? How do your energy levels match up? Do you love/hate the same things? Compatibility basically means that your routines mesh, you enjoy doing the same things, and you want the same things at the same time. For example, if you want kids and he doesn"t, you are NOT compatible.
3. Communication. Do you feel you can tell him anything, or do you have to watch what you say around him? How do you each express your emotions, wants, and needs, and are you comfortable talking about them? How do you argue? How do you settle disagreements? It"s not an issue of whether or not you have a difference of opinion, what"s important is how you resolve those differences. Consideration is the key to communication, because if you feel cherished, you"ll reward him with respect, and like Verizon, no one will ever have to ask, "Can you hear me now?"
To be honest, you"re lucky if he meets 51 percent, even a fraction more than half, of your needs in the Three Cs. Diversity in a relationship is good and healthy — it means you can each learn from the other. How boring would it be if your mate were exactly like you? It"s our differences that make us interesting, and often attract us to each other. Besides, he"s a man. He"s wired differently. He"s never going to be exactly like you. The Three Cs are simply something to consider during the first ninety days, in between the times you"re talking about him and dreaming about him.

What Women Want in a Man, Original List (age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 36)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Wants to talk to me.
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Has at least one shirt with the arms cut out
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Loves to go for drives
10. Seeks romance at least 3 times a week
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn"t drive off until I"m in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I"m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10..... Shaves most weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn"t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn"t borrow money too often
4. Doesn"t nod off to sleep when I"m venting
5. Doesn"t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

How will you come to know that your marriage is in crisis? There are some reasons responsible for disturbed married life such as alcohol abuse, difficulty with children, financial problems, a situation when both the partners are unfaithful, major life changes and problems with fertility.
The marital relationships may be affected by the broken trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, lack of appreciation, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, absence of sex and no affection. When the marriage is in trouble, you should try to find out the solutions of how to save a marriage.
When you realize that something is wrong with your married life, don’t just think how to save a marriage, but immediately look for the solution. You try to find out the problems and adopt some qualities to save your marriage and to stop the divorce. There are always some hopes and ways to resolve the problems in your marriage. The conflicts in married life may be due to ego or some misunderstandings.
Beside all the above problems you should seek God in all your doings, so that you can have His blessing in your daily endevour.

For fear of facing public reproach, Susan, an SS2 student, ran away with her three-month-old pregnancy to a village in the outskirts of Ibadan with the collaboration of her mother, the teenage girl relocated to her aunt’s house where she gave birth to a baby girl and nursed her for one year. Susan, thus, dropped out of school and took to petty trading to meet the needs of her baby, Ajoke.
1F-YOU-ARE-1N-THAT-TYPE-OF-COND1T1ON-WHAT-WOULD-YOU-DO?

i have discovered that it is difficult to please a women. when you satisfy one need of a woman, it gives birth to another. women have there hierarchy of needs.
she would complain that you do not have a Job. And when you have a job, she would complain that you come home late. if you decide to stay a home and spend more time with them, they complain that you do not give them space. if you give them space and decide to spend some time with your friends, they accuse you of seeing another woman. if you try to explain she sees you as a lair. these and many more others
what can we do to please you?

It Pays to be a Nigerian
A man died & goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides he"ll pick the least painful to spend his
eternity.
He goes to the German hell &asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of
nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day". The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.
Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in...Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told"first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in& whips you
for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells, why are there so many people waiting to get in?" asks the man. A concerned fellow callshim aside
and said, "Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair doesn"t work.
The nails were paid for but were never supplied by the contractor, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to bea civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for other business!!"
................. IT PAYS TO BE A NIGERIAN

When I was younger I hated going to weddings...it seemedthat all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used tocome up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You"re next."
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
French Computers
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike theirEnglish counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
""House," in French, is feminine - "la maison" and"Pencil," in French, is masculine "le crayon.""
One puzzled student asked,"What gender is"computer"?"
The teacher did not know, and the word wasn"t in her French dictionary.
So for fun she split the classinto two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men"s group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer", because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories forit.
The women"s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer", because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, buthalf the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you"d waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model

JOKE : Anything You Cannot Touch Does
Not Exist.
.
Akpos is a very naughty boy, he has
away of giving replies to questions and
making people feel stupid. Sure you are going to enjoy this.
.
Here is the conversation between
Musa , Akpos and their Teacher.
.
TEACHER: Anything you cannot see, touch and feel does not exist. Example,
Can u see God?
MUSA: NO
TEACHER: Can you touch God?
MUSA: NO
TEACHER: Can you feel God? MUSA: NO
TEACHER: This means There is no God.
Can anybody give me any other
example?
.
AKPOS: Yes Ma, TEACHER: Go ahead AKPOS
(AKPOS faces the teacher)
AKPOS: Can you see your brain?
TEACHER: NO,
AKPOS: Can you touch your brain?
TEACHER: NO, AKPOS: Can you feel your brain?
TEACHER: NO,
AKPOS: Therefore, YOU HAVENO BRAIN.
.
Is Akpos Right or Wrong?

Two Brothers Nicknamed P.SQUARE sang a
song called DO ME.
And Got IFUNAYA pregnant.
They Ran to Escape the TEMPTATION but their BIZZY BODY
Couldn't allow them to stay because, E NO EASY.
While Running, they ran
into DANGER Till they began to ROLL IT until THE GAME IS OVER.
This twin Brothers have now Decided to trick BEAUTIFUL ONYINYE by telling Her, you must
CHOP MY MONEY.
She is now happy, dancing ALINGO.

Football vs Sex.
1. Going to your bf/gf withoutbeing invited = OFFSIDE.
2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day= FREE-KICK.
3. Condom = GOALKEEPER
4. Condom breaks = PENALTY
5. Abortion = RED CARD
6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN
7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL
8. Taking a lot of time withoutcoming = MAN OF THE MATCH.
9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.
10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP
11. Having sex with your ex= FRIENDLY MATCH
12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL
13. After 2 rounds, u requestfor more =EXTRA TIME.
14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY
15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ
16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN
17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions on the sideline.
18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR
19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll
20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass
21.Having sex with a girl..andyour mum open d door= Injury
22.You and your girl break up= Game over
23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD