Nkemtreasure: I think marriage isn't an end but a begining to a lifetime jorney. From what u said, u have really dated her from just march to date since u used to see each other once or byweekly before. Have been in a situation almost like this b4. 3 to 4 months is too short a time to make a decision like this. There isn't any character that would change after marriage. She isn't wanting to marry u because she doesn't want to go to d east, or because she lost her job. I think she is unsure if u would still come after her when she leaves Lagos. D question I think u should ans is would u still go after her. If so, convince her. You two just need to take a step @ a time. Conciouslly get her angry and see her reaction, note her wrongs, help her improve. No one has the insription "Miss Perfect" on their body. She has her bad sides, u also have yours. See if u can live with it. Remember, if u want an ANGEL as a wife, then BUILD HER A HEAVEN. Goodluck bro.

D first sensible response. I am quite sure you are experience and enlightened.

dont be da dummy and fool here coz jude u called ya frnd might go back and toast da gurl to get ya future job and wife dis lyf one needs to be careful although u dnt need to trust woman 100percent but follow ya heart if u love her. Me no want u to regret dis in future if jude collect ya wife and future job den u r a loser for lyf

OP

What do you want us to do? Slap her?

Stallion77: Minus ur friends opinion....Wetin u want? Must u always double check wit ur friends? Guys sef...

madam, his friend gave him a simple advice and i dont see what is wrong with that. You seek advice from ur friends too when you are generally confused about something right?. So dont say he should stop to double check with his friends

This poster so fr*aking has no mind of his own. WTFr*ak asking us that Jude can't be right that his babe is no more employable. I am sure that if she still has her job that you won't need Jude to make up your mind. I don't support for a guy to go marrying a woman without a made-up mind. If you are not ready to marry and she wants to marry simply tell her and she can look out for another relationship.

She doesn't have to rush to marry just because she has no accommodation, she can look for who to squat with if she can't rent while she quickly looks for a job or even use the 350k to start a lil thing doing.

rotfl.

Re:My Girl Proposed To Me - Help.

My G, if a lady begs you 2 marry ha 4 any reason, run 4 ur dear life. In the Bible God said ''he dat findeth a wife findeth a good tin n obtain favour
of God'' It's a man dat finds n proposes n not d woman as in dis case. Be vry careful abt d whole tin.

guy follow ur heart,u hav known her 4 som months nw,dnt listen 2 jude,her course can get her a gud job even to b self employd.so use ur heart and nt ur head.dis tim around it wedding ar don by both parties nt just d guy.pray k

U get to follow ur heart nt all d advices pple ar giving u here,......to find Mrs Ryt is nt by watching her for 50years cos sum pple can live with bravado for sum periods

@op, from ur story u took ur time to talk about her good/ bad conditions no love expressed from ur side, it means u dnt really care about her so my own is that am seeing a man who's afraid of what the future might bring because ur not in a point of even taking a decision that will be in her favor......'' u for no collect her number dat wedding day ooh''

lol? so whih of these advice would you pick? i guess all these would bring you back to where you started. just dont rush anything pray about it. when you talk about marriage i dnt material things should be the main reason to make up your mind she has 4 years experience in a bank, jude is been judgemental a bit too logical even thoug we know logic doesnt really count in this world.

aku626: lol? so whih of these advice would you pick? i guess all these would bring you back to where you started. just dont rush anything pray about it. when you talk about marriage i dnt material things should be the main reason to make up your mind she has 4 years experience in a bank, jude is been judgemental a bit too logical even thoug we know logic doesnt really count in this world.

My sister I tire oooo.
Anyway, Jude gave his own advice. Now NLs have given their own advice.
I guess, the decision should be mine.
All of una wey give better advice, God go bless una well well.
All of una wey just dey insult me, Jude and evrybody here, una internet go disconnect ooo.
Anyway, I thank everybody for everything.

Lols@comment saying u shld marry her cox of d oil job. What if d job doesn't click?
@op had it been dat u were a big boy wen u met dz gal, i would hav conclud dat d gal is jux in 4 ur pockets. But jux a teacher and she was wit u. Hmm

freeamie:


To answer yr questions :
* While she was a banker, she was not rude but always putting herself in control. I call her much more than she calls me. When, I complain, she will say she prefers bb msgr chatting (and I don't have a BB).

* No, she never mentioned marriage to me when she was working.

* Yes, I think I luv her enough for marriage, otherwise I won't be seeking anybody's opinion. But my problem is that I feel she's the wrong one and she doesn't luv me enough for marriage. I want to have a good marriage and NO divorce or unhappiness.
Thanks for your advice.

I like ur sincerity. We cannot decide for but follow ur heart and take more time to study her.

I think d girl is forced to propose to u cos of the situation of tins. If u hav any doubt in ur mind concerning d marriage, dont just venture into it. Marry who u lov enough n will love u too. There r many issues in marriage dat can only b resolved by lov, forgivness n understanding. Marrige is a school of reality unless u r ready to face it u cannot succeed.

acidtalk: Rarely respond to threads if I can't relate to the message 100%. As for this, I can relate to it 101%.

I have found out most people than render advice here are not mature enough and only do it for the sake of 'make me sef talk'.

@Poster, your message is a very serious and deep thinking one.

From what I can see (based on your explanation);

* the ex banker friend of yours likes you but never liked your job. That's very understandable. Which woman wouldn't want her man to earn 6 digit figures? It is only normal.

* she lost her job during the downsizing period as as such the fear that she might not get another job for the fear of her kind of course is what is bothering you.

* you assume she wants to marry you to save herself the shame of returning to the East with her family.

Questions I will ask you are;

* while this girl had her banking job was she rude, bossy, and being in control all the time? Because you mentioned something like being 'oga'. If the answer is yes. Then I will let you know she can never change as if she gets a better job or flowing business tomorrow, she will certainly do worse. But if the answer is No! Then I will let you know you just had a complex and felt inferior to her.

* prior to when she discovered her uncle was relocating, has she ever mentioned marriage plans between you both? If the answer is No! Then I suggest you need to tell her to give you more time to prepare yourself first psychologically and financially as the news just came too sudden. And if the answer is Yes! You still need more time though.

* do you love her enough to live with her flaws? oIf it is yes! Then you can consider her for marriage, if the answer is No! Let he go as partners only get worse in most cases after marriage.


As for her putting you under a condition of her getting you a job after marriage, don't fall for the bait. Let her know you will ONLY marry her when you get a better job. If she can really help get a job, she will put pressure on that her under to get you the Oil and Gas Job as she won't be able to wait.

I see both of you getting to understand yourself better rathan that just rushing to tie the knot due to circumstances

@ACIDTALK, no ARGUMENT , YOU HAVE SAID IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL
@POSTER LISTEN TO HIM ,(ACID TALK)
BUT WOULD LOVE TO BE BLUNT A BIT, WHY MUST SHE BE THE ONE TO PROPOSE, AND NOW SHE IS TRYING TO EXCHANGFE MARRIAGE FOR JOB ( MARRY ME AND I WILLGIVE YOU JOB) TRADE BY BATA. ABEG MARRIAGE NA FOREVER EXCEPT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO GO TO HELL FIRE, TRUE LOVE IS UNCONDITIONALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Wel as for me I think you should follow your heart and pray over it

The truth is that your babe kept you as a spare tire and now that she is having a flat tire & no other commited suitor and no Job, no apartment, age not on her side. She have decided to make do with her spare tire which is you. Deep in your hart you know that she is not near to what you want as a wife; jude just validated your fears and you want nairalanders to confirm it. As for the oil Job, na lie. You hold the 4 ace, take your time to make this lifetime decision. Shine your eyes, this babe is FAKE!

Tlake: Bros I dnt knw if u believe all dis seers u can go see one about it

pls avoid any evil manipulators that call themselves "Seers"... They are just evil vices.

Ninapha: OP, i dont believe dis lady loves u enough. Any lady dat loves a man wd never give such idiotic conditions. One thing i believe strongly is dat u are 'manupulatable' so she wants to add ur name to hers 'mrs'
i laughed at her family not allowing her rent a house in lagos. White lie. If she had been transfered to Kogi nko? She wants to put fire on u. Was she living wit them during uni days? Whats dis BB thing? Ok to remind u she belongs to a class. I dont promote poverty and i dont write off any man. As a teacher cdn't she hv encouraged u to go for masters take a stake at lecturing job. Cdn't she hv asked u to invest d 350k and take d profit to enlarge ur income? Cdn't hv asked d uncle to help witout making it a condition. Am sure if she has, u wd hv been d one doing dat proposal. No she is lookn for 'Mrs' witout potfolio. Wait, look, think and reason. Whatever ur heart says. B of Luck

word... Well said. Love as we all know is unconditional.

damoobaba:
Jude wants you to dump her so he could marry her afterwards.Sincerely, the only assesment you need to make is to know if you actually/truly love her.Dont let her money/job offer or anythin else be ur guide.Goodluck without Jonathan to you.

wrong bro. How cud u say Jude wants to marry her. In fact Jude is actually being a friend to him.

something is just not right here
*she's the one proposing to you!
*why didnt she propose before she lost the job?
*why is she suddenly in a hurry to get married and even bringing out her cash to support the wedding?
*she had the link to giving u a good job all this while and she waited this long to offer it as and incentive if u marry her
@op- at times like this when u're confused and u knw following ur hrt will land u in trouble, a 3rd party opinion is needed... Jude. If deep down u knw dat Jude has ur best interest at hrt follow his advice.
IMO she's bad news... Period!