IT WILL TURN OUT TO BE A HUGE PROBLEM FOR THE LADY AT LAST

tommywise: why not, with her money to take care of me.

U MUST BE A VERY LAZY MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

LeJeun3: I really will Appreciate that. I will marry her!

EVEN IF SHE DOESNT POSSES THE QUALITIES U DESIRE TO SEE IN UR WIFE?

caukerzee: well, i wount say you are not different from every other man out there but one thing is for sure, it is in man's nature to appreciate what he works for than what he is gifted for free. Women are always on the reciving end. Gender equality will never work. That is how man is wired and anything trying to disobey that law of nature fails. If a woman woos you, you would be on the reciving end, you are always searching for her wrong doings, constant fault finding, rather than appreciating her good side. You would be looking for what is not there than what is there. The feeling a man gets when a woman woos him is totaly different from the feeling a woman gets from being wooed by a man. When a woman woos a man, theres this sudden fear that sets in, the fear of desperation. It doesnt matter how long youve liked or love her.

See! You are wrong. Do me a favour, speak for yourself. I dont knw the kinda mentality you have, but for me, I see alot of things differently. For instance, alot of guys see cheating on a gurl as a normal thing, whereas I dont see it that way and I've never tried it. Secondly, alot of guys can't stay for 4 yearz cuz to them its unusual especially if you've had series of relationships before, but its nothing to me cuz I've done it. I can keep giving instances as much as u want about peoples' perception being different from mine. So, newsflash! I'll NEVER act negative if a woman should do the wooing. As long as she is my kinda gurl.

i think marriage should be allowed to take its natural procedures. if not im very sure the woman will have to endure and not to enjoy that marriage for the rest of her life .

if u ar a lady and u know that age is no longer on your side, instead of u to be dat desperate. pls u can adopt, or u may look for some stupid Married men
(cheaters) or even single gys who can help u father and take care of the child.

pls dont jump into anything on trouser.because it could be a terrible experience for u

Almost naturally, one tends to value more a lady one sees, goes for, not getting easily, but getting after loads of efforts. However, there are exceptions. For some people, the mere fact that the lady expresses(even if indirectly or just by body language) feelings for you can spur genuine feelings from you too. And when the two gel and blossom, they become mutual love.

And it is actually easy to read the motive - i.e to separate one that 'feels' for you just because of some material things in you or because of her own defect, from those that genuinely have genuine feelings for you.

If the girl in question is a good material for marriage and I love d lady and ready for marriage, my answer would be YES. She must b a lady dat I really know b4 Saying yes, but if I didn't know her b4 and she proposes, I will tel her to give me time. In the course of dating her, I will get to know the type of person she is and that wil determine d ansa to her request. There was a day I visited one of my church members. In that compound, there was a lady plaiting her hair, after few mins, she came in and she started asking of my name and the rest. I told her my name. Then she went further to say, "You are handsome. Is there no girl that has told u this b4?" Immediately she said this, I knew where she was heading to. But b4 I know it, she sat bside me and started romancing me and also asked me to romance her, but I refused and stood up went outside because I didn't wanna embarass her.
Now, if this type of lady proposes to me, my ansa wil b NO.

It all depends;
1. If a beautiful lady proposes to an handsome man and the lady has d specification he looking for - he will not hesitate
2. If a beautiful lady proposes to an ugly man - He will be like "Alelluyah"
3. If an ugly lady proposes to an handsome man - He will be like "Hell NO!"
4. If an ugly lady proposes to an ugly man - well they will have to solve the maths

So like I said, it all depends on the self esteem of the guy or the lady. If the guy considers himself lucky to have the lady then he will say YES if the lady proposes. But if he thinks he deserves more than what she is then its a NO.

Talking about ladies asking guys out; I am one of the lucky guys, I have had that experience not once and not twice. I turn down some and I also accept as the case maybe, however I have also observed that when I turned down a lady asking me out she was like depressed for over a week and acted like something terrible happened and so if I have to turn down a lady I do it systematically and in-directly to avoid any mental breakdown from the lady.

As a matter of fact, while busy in my office last week a female colleague walked briskly into my office and sat behind me. And as usual me trying to stick to my time management principle; concentrate on the job and being brief on all discussions...I have time her for 3 minutes of discussion after which I will not say any word and focus on my job. So we talked for sharp 3 minutes and I immediately kept quiet and she too was quiet, sensing my busy nature she stood up to leave, walking past me she placed her hands on my shoulders of which she has not done b4 and reluctantly opened the door. For me, I was like "my strategy had worked and shes is finally leaving so I can concentrate" and so I decided to break my silence by asking her one last goodbye question and I said "what time are u leaving the office? everywhere is scanty" and I was expecting her to say "I will be leaving soon" but guess what? she made a U-Turn, came back into the office and sat behind me again and she said I am waiting for any available flight to leave the office... and I was like "Oh my God, I shouldn't have asked the last question" and so I re-executed the strategy and went back to silence expecting her to leave asap but this time she reluctantly came to my table grabbed a Post It (piece of paper), wrote on it and reluctantly pushed it into my hands and out of shyness throw off her face and quietly waiting for my response.I was thinking maybe she needs some kind of assistance (T-fair, she wants me to drop her off nearby or something else), so trying to read off the message; the paper was upside down in my hand so I tossed it 90 degrees clockwise and to my surprise she wrote "I luv u and want to have you now". At this point I got confused because I understand the words "I luv u" but don't understand "want to have you now". I noticed she was shy and so in order to boost her confidence and for me to understand her clearly I slowly grabbed her hands and looking into her eyes I said to her "what you have written on this piece of paper is vague to me" and I asked her clearly "Are you interested in a relationship or you just want the job done?"

Bottom line is there are many ways a lady could ask a guy out, either by spoken words, written note or by signs of gesture and if you do it rightly you will not be seen as being cheap.

And as for a lady proposing marriage to a guy: A lady in an existing relationship can propose marriage to her guy (In this scenario I will accept) but for a lady to see a stranger on the road and out-rightly propose marriage - this is hard to find and I will not accept such proposal.

Mrs.Chima:
There are many couples in America where women have proposed to the men. Many of those couples are still happily married.

It is all about the person.

Yeah! America is full of sissy men and women who have moustaches and can whoop the man's @ss, don't u watch Jerry Springer

ochallo: please the correct question should be , would you marry a lady that proposes marriage to you?. i can't believe this is on front page and is grammatically wrong.

It is not all about gramma here. The most important thing is communication. We all understand what the poster means. If the gramma is ok but we are not getting the message that is not communication. I hope you know that!

HR Manager: We tend to believe that because we are centuries away from the stone ages, the basic instincts of men when it comes to the "hunt" has changed. Sorry to bust anyone's bubble, but I dare to say, IT HAS NOT! A guy tends to value MORE a woman he took the pains to woo and win...it is in his blood and psyche to hunt, obtain and enjoy. Take that away from him and soon enough, discontent will set in...it is only a matter of time. From creation till now, man's nature has not changed one bit! Times have, technology has, knowledge has, but old-fashioned masculine instincts HAVE NOT! No matter how flowery people may try to make it, women NEVER send the right signals to a man when they make the first move or worse propose marriage (something in them sets off a warning signal which they are masters at hiding these days). Permit me to say, "HE that FINDETH a WIFE findeth a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. (bible no get hot potato for mouth wen e talk am)
Now, please don't get me wrong, there are exceptions, but they are very far and in between. Since we all live by the "general rules" and WE ARE AFRICANS (and like it or not,we are not "white people" so comparisons don't count), I think women should be the treasure they are and let the man pursue them and propose to them; NO MAN EVER PROPOSES TO A WOMAN UNTIL HE HAS THOUGHT IT THROUGH (the responses I have read so far even emphasizes this). If a woman beats him to it, I doubt he would appreciate it!

I WILL APRECIATE IT! SPEAK FOR URESELF.STOP SPREADING DOUBTS ABOUT US MEN TO THE LADIES.

caukerzee: I will discourage women not to do that. Not becaue its wrong, but because its a big risk. Very few men will take it as normal, but the average nigerian man will take avantage of it when he is wrong or offends you. He will remind you of how you were the one that wooed him. Women dont remind men of how they(the men) were the one that wooed them(the women). Whereas, a man would do that. You may ask why? No because it is wrong, but because it is not normal.

WHAT IS WITH U PEOPLE?! NOT EVERYMAN IS LIKE THAT.COME ON.

Orikinla: There is nothing absolute wrong with a woman proposing marriage to a man.
One of the most beautiful women in Nigeria has done that.
She simply asked me:
"Will you marry me?"
But I did not say yes or no, because I wasn't sure if I loved her enough to spend the rest of my life with her.

Are u talking about weird MC. Just asking

I believe that Nigerian tradition does not include a lady proposing marriage 2 a man. Its kinda abnormal in dis part of the world

From a Nigerian lady? I'll run for dear life

[quote author=booqee]In d old times, wooing a guy may seem or appear desperate and cheap or something. But now?? Oh puleazzze! Dis is freaking 2012! Its no big deal to ask a guy out..it just depends on the way you tell d guy. If i'm crushing on a guy, and he possess practically most of the tinz i want in a guy, why can't i approach him, rather dan stick to some goddamned loser who might end up breaking ur heart. My happiness'll always comes first. But because of our 'african mentality', pple still see it as unethical, immoral, desperate and a cheap attempt..which makes it difficult for african girls especially to do it.
Maybe i need to be reminded, pls which law or rule says its MUST be d guy dat must make d first move??


It is not a law. It is a custom. Customs are not written down. They are passed 4rm one generation 2 another.

Mrs.Chima:
There are many couples in America where women have proposed to the men. Many of those couples are still happily married.

It is all about the person.

Dis is africa

... It's not biblical. As a Christian, I certainly would not recommend it.

Poster@HR Manager is correct. This is the honest truth. Men are naturally 'hunters' . If you want to be appreciated then wait for them to do what they are naturally born to do. Many posters may say they don't mind but the reality is very different. I am yet to meet a man who told me they are married to the woman who proposed to them either at work, from family or any friend. What we would like to do is often different to what we actually do .

[quote author=mercurie][/quote] u neva give guy bj b4?.. Na ur custome?...

preshuzpearl: I see that move as been desperate.
Motives are important.
Recently i started talkin wit dis guy and as we were chattin,i mentioned to him that he was breakin my heart by not giving me wat i want. Somehow along d line, our conversation veered into relationship and he started sayin dat i wasnt 'good enough for him' or smthin. Altho i lafed it off,i made sure i passed d message across dat he was actually d one below me and was only foolin himself thinkin he could use that line to get at me
The point is, I have come to discover that guys dont usually give respect to ladies who come after themESPECIALLY if they are little stars having a lot of priviledges and 'fans'. they start thinkin they're doin u favours just by talking to you

Like what a lady said earlier...the person in question matters. Its not all guys that do that. A guy that looks down on a lady (as his evil nature) will still look down on a lady once she has agreed to be with him-even when he goes out of his way to woo the girl in the first place.

SELFWORTH: ... It's not biblical. As a Christian, I certainly would not recommend it.

I guess your bible is diffrent to mine What portion of the bible say so?

Proposing for marriage ought to be the guy's thing. A girl can only build things to get to that point -she should not be the one proposing. Asper dating (premarital affair) anyone (guy or lady) can make d first move.

olaolaking:

I guess your bible is diffrent to mine What portion of the bible say so?

Is it ? Please give an example in the bible where it instructs a woman to propose to a man? You are disagreeing with me so support your assertion with evidence. The topic should be rephrased "how many Nigerian men are married to a woman that proposed to them?

mercurie: I believe that Nigerian tradition does not include a lady proposing marriage 2 a man. Its kinda abnormal in dis part of the world

Thank u for your honesty.

i will certainly not. if i love her that much,i will propose myself.

Mrs.Chima:
There are many couples in America where women have proposed to the men. Many of those couples are still happily married.

It is all about the person.

Madam this is africa nt america please

olaolaking:

It is not all about gramma here. The most important thing is communication. We all understand what the poster means. If the gramma is ok but we are not getting the message that is not communication. I hope you know that!

I disagree. This is an international forum not a local forum. The key topic should at least have the right grammar. Anything worth doing at all is worth doing well. It's a sad mentality in Nigeria that does not encourage perfection in what we do. How many forums in the wide world will list topics that are grammatically wrong. In addition, the wrong grammar can sometimes give a statement the wrong interpretation or meaning entirely. Quality not quantity ! I am tired o! I blame the moderators.

shegsrules:
Dis is africa

GBAM!

Da_b¤§§.:
i will certainly not. if i love her that much,i will propose myself.

Makes sense to me brethren. Couldn't have put it any better myself.

For real, a lady proposing to a guy is just waiting to either be used, then dumped later or stylishly ignored... Nija men liver no strong reach to accept such women, when it comes to marriage..They are not american men ooo....I will rather be a single mum than propose to a nija man. ...hell NO!