dayokanu: I want ONLY a career minded woman

God forbid me end up with a housewife? ALABODO (Feed and phuckk) tufiakwa

So what would she teach our daughters? That their pussssy is the lifetime meal ticket? God forbid

[size=14pt]AAARRGGGHHHH~~~~ My eyess~~~~~[/size]

baby_123: Na wa oooo. When you have kids nko? . She will turn to Alabodo for some months whether you like it or not.

When we have kids she can take Maternity leave and after the leave we hire a babysitter or Nanny.

But the few months she would be off work would be understandable that its out of necessity not the one that is inherently lazy

@safeLove
pls sis i dnt mean to open gossip place for her,but i will not like my wife to work under anybody i can creat anything she want to do,all i know
my wife we always be busy,she we nt have time to gossip if she's gossip type,pls dnt misunderst me

maclatunji:

You want to take us way back to the basic argument of roles of men and women in society. Things work better with the man being the provider and the wife being the Home Manager, that some people do the reverse with some degree of success doesn't make it the ideal. It is not enough to say things happen, you should critically examine their overall effects.

Women do not run careers with 'some' degree of success. There are many women in their professional fields that are doing excellently well in their respective places of work. I wonder why you think the woman's life should be restricted to only the house. Could it be for religious reasons? Because I know that men who argue that the woman should be indoors usually base their reasons on their religious teachings.
Again, there is no 'basic' roles in society for anyone. People have different skills and natural gifts, every single woman is not born a certain way to fit only one particular role, there are women who make excellent mothers and there are the ones who do terribly at child care no matter how hard they try.
Also, Women have intellect, brains, and for years they have been doing basically the same jobs as men in different professions. I wonder why a woman will have the ability and potential to go great heights and yet she is supposed to do nothing but stay at home with kids. Why does she have intellect and potential then? For decoration?
It is arrogance that makes men think that they are not supposed to assist women with house work. The same house they live in with their wives, they find it difficult to assist with the work in the house, they see themselves as above it, they see doing housework as something that is beneath them.
A woman has to work; this is the twenty first century. Any woman who does not work and depends solely on her husband for upkeep is just taking a big risk. That woman'a husband could loose his job, he could die, he could suffer some form of paralysis that keeps him from being able to work for the rest of his life. What then? How does she survive when she has no job or has a low paying job that will not fetch her enough money to take care of herself and her children?

Why are we talking about 'basic'roles of women being in the house when we know how things work in this day and age?

[size=13pt]For me[/size], a wife's primary dream is to make her family members excel, any other dream should ideally be subservient to this. There are a few exceptions, like I said earlier healthcare workers help to save lives, your family and the society benefit greatly thereby. This is different from say a banker who abandons her kids because she wants to own a house in Lekki and drive a Range Rover Sport. Her family and society suffers- there is a need for balance in life.

Thank God you said for you, meaning that it is your opinion.
My own opinion differs.

chaircover:

Depends on what you are asking for. . . . . .. You meet a girl in medical school and you expect her to be a full time housewife? Very unlikely that she is going to agree to your preconditions.

You also have to have a degree of flexibility too when you make these descsions, cos life does throw all sorts of things at you and many many women are the breadwinners not by choice but by the turn of events.

You need to look at the bigger picture. . . .many many many many women balance their jobs and their family together.

Agreed... If U take a closer look at those families, U'll discover that ample time is created for both d Husband n the Children...

Now would U marry a woman who'll ve less time for U n d kids( wen dey come) cuz she earns more than U?...

[CHocolaTE:
]It is baffling to me how women that are not physically as strong as men are the ones who have to 'balance' house work and taking care of children and running their careers. What roles are men supposed to play apart from joining their wives in breadwinning?

That's Y there's an option... Leave d "bread winning for d man n do the concentrate on "Breading" him n d Kids....

chaircover:

LOL I had this conversation with a male colleague yesterday morning and you know what we both came up with . . . that women though physically weaker than men, are mentally stronger than men and the mind can push your body to do amazing things . . .

Agree 100%...

Kobojunkie: It is sad that there are still those out there who think it is there place to control or say what field their women can or cannot be involved in. . . really sad. But it just goes to show that humans, especially Africans, have a long ways to go.

A woman, like a man, has dreams, likes, desires, wants, etc. There are women out there who are passionate about goals, ideas, you cannot for one second imagine yourself being involved in/with. If your future wife's career is paramount in your making a decision on her, then godspeed. There are however men out there who are choosing more and more to honor their woman's desire, needs, wants, and I hope more and more that more and more of the male species realizes that the world does not revolve around them.

I have a colleague who happens to be one of such men. His wife is a high corporate executive and he happens to be a computer programmer. This man works from home and takes case of the kids. He wakes up to take the kids to school, do the cooking and take care of them after school. His wife comes home in the evening(typical 9 to 5'er) and takes care of whatever is left. This couple of the example I wish for the new generation. They don't have 100% of the details ironed out and they still sit to decide who gets to do what when, but I believe this is where the world should be moving . . . away from the mentality that it is a man's world and the woman is meant for the back seat/born to sit in the back.

That's Y the level of failed marriages are high in d so called advance countries...


As regards ur colleagues case... She's pretty lucky... She has a hubby who has a flexible business n who's Is very understanding...

[CHocolaTE:
]

why are men considered the heads of the family when women are mentally stronger than them?

Cuz that's how it is... They r to guide, guard n b Guided....

"an example of this are the cats family" the lioness does all d hunting while all d Lion does is to protect the pact n territory....

phineboy1pimple:
That's Y there's an option... Leave d "bread winning for d man n do the concentrate on "Breading" him n d Kids....

Readthe below, these things have been posted in this thread before but you clearly didn't read through your own thread before posting replies.
vvvvvvvvvvv
what happens to these same kids if God forbids the man slumps and dies suddenly?That woman'a husband could loose his job, he could die, he could suffer some form of paralysis that keeps him from being able to work for the rest of his life. What then? How does she survive when she has no job or has a low paying job that will not fetch her enough money to take care of herself and her children?

phineboy1pimple:
Cuz that's how it is... They r to guide, guard n b Guided....

"an example of this are the cats family" the lioness does all d hunting while all d Lion does is to protect the pact n territory....

I don't know whether to laugh or shout at the inanity of this response.

[CHocolaTE:
]@kobojunkie,
It is quite sad really. The truth is, when the husband cooperates with his wife in doing house work and taking care of children, there will not be any need for the wife to kill her dreams and desires and just stay at home doing house work. The keyword is cooperation. Man cooperate with woman and woman cooperate with man, both work together and assist each other, the woman joins the man in earning money and the man joins the woman in doing house work and taking care of the children. I don't see any reason why the men would not want to assist with taking care of their children, afterall they are his children, they bear his name.
I really fear the way Nigerian men have absolutely no qualms in trying to decide what path their wives take in life. For heaven's sake women are also human beings. It is somebody's dreams you are killing when you decide that they should do what YOU want and dispose of their own ambitions.

It 'll b shear wickedness of any man to do that...

The reference @koboJunkie used is usually a rarity... Most times what family look at is who earns more to cater for d family's needs..

I've had friends who left their places of work to venture into businesses in order to assist in catering for the kids....

So who says naija men r not sensitive?...

slimchi2k2: depend,but i will like my wife to manage my things or open shop for her,but not to work under somebody or government

Even if she spent so much money n time studying n acquiring a degree... Come on dude, that's old school...


What I believe a reasonable man should look at is will her career give her time 4 her family....

I have a very good job and I am satisfied with the money but I would prefer to be a full time housewife when I have children. And I'd like to have 4.
I know that it is not always possible, though.
I admire every woman who combines a career with family life but from what I have seen so far is that you can't have both. You'll have to make sacrifices somewhere. A career is not compatible with family life. You'll have to work less when your children are little unless you don't hire a nanny. If you do, you have to live with the fact that you are not around your children very much.

phineboy1pimple: It 'll b shear wickedness of any man to do that...
The reference @koboJunkie used is usually a rarity... Most times what family look at is who earns more to cater for d family's needs..
I've had friends who left their places of work to venture into businesses in order to assist in catering for the kids....
So who says naija men r not sensitive?...

Please make sure you understand where @KoboJunkie is coming from before you butcher my logic. The example I gave is no longer a rarity. The last Recession sort of opened the eyes of a lot of conceited individuals out there to the fact that they are not as INVISIBLE as they initially thought. A lot of men lost their jobs and found themselves depending on their wives for support, and they had to force themselves to loose there macho ideals and many of them had to re-structure their lives to adjust to the new reality of life and that reality is that whether you have a cork or v-jay-jay down there, it does not matter at all, either one of you can do the work that is required to protect and provide for the family.

You are right that out her(not in Nigeria typically) the person that makes more does matters. However, you lie when you say it is common place in Nigeria for men whose wives make more to look for ways to help out at home. That has never been common place and still isn't, in Nigeria. Many more, rather than allow the woman to continue to make more, will look for ways they can beat her at all cost. There are tons of examples of unemployed/near-unemployed Nigerian men whose wives make more than they do, that still leave most 100% of the home chores to the already stressed woman. Walk into your average Nigerian market for instance and ask any one of those market women there how her husband helps and you might get an earful of stories of how the men don't contribute much to their lives apart from being fu_ckmaster of the home. This happens to be the typical picture of the Nigerian man even to this day so that one of your friend's decided to start a business(by the way starting a business of what kind? Last I checked it requires you invest more hours than your average 9-to-5 job)

chaircover: Mac how many female bankers do you know that drive a range rover sport and live in Lekki compared to the many thousands of female bankers working their socks off to pull their weight and to add their little something to the family purse. In the same Nigeria that a man can have a job today and made redundant without any warning or decent severance pay tomorrow. Who these days sits at home waiting for her husbands monthly wage check? what happens to these same kids if God forbids the man slumps and dies suddenly?

Ask many of these women in a staff bus on the third mainland at 6am in the morning and many will tell you that if they had a choice, they will jack it in.

Many of the super duper high flying executives dont wans a family anyway while mrs average wants a career and a family and this can be achieved and made much easier of the husband helped in other areas too.

Women have been balancing careers and family life for years. Our mothers did it and so did our grandmothers.

if i were a man I would want a happy fulfilled woman who is reaching her full potential around me and my kids and not a woman who feels trapped in a bottle simply because she is wearing my ring.

Hehehehe... I like your post. You said it, those women work their socks off. Many do more than that as well. Ideally they shouldn't. OP asked for the ideal and I have stated what my ideal is. Reality may end-up being different. However, I won't lie to myself that it is the best thing.

Going along with your example, how does slaving away and being subject to occasional passes bring about fulfilment for the woman? She still has to get home and perform wifely and motherly duties. She is bound to fail one of these duties at some point.

It is funny how some people scoff at Home Management, it is a demanding job and has great dignity attached to it. I have never said a wife should not work. All I have said is put your family first and don't fool yourself that you are coping when you get home every might spent after a hard day's work and your kids at the mercy of third parties.

carefreewannabe: I have a very good job and I am satisfied with the money but I would prefer to be a full time housewife when I have children. And I'd like to have 4.
I know that it is not always possible, though.
I admire every woman who combines a career with family life but from what I have seen so far is that you can't have both. You'll have to make sacrifices somewhere. A career is not compatible with family life. You'll have to work less when your children are little unless you don't hire a nanny. If you do, you have to live with the fact that you are not around your children very much.

Thanks you for being objective...

Kobojunkie:

Please make sure you understand where @KoboJunkie is coming from before you butcher my logic. The example I gave is no longer a rarity. The last Recession sort of opened the eyes of a lot of conceited individuals out there to the fact that they are not as INVISIBLE as they initially thought. A lot of men lost their jobs and found themselves depending on their wives for support, and they had to force themselves to loose there macho ideals and many of them had to re-structure their lives to adjust to the new reality of life and that reality is that whether you have a cork or v-jay-jay down there, it does not matter at all, either one of you can do the work that is required to protect and provide for the family.

You are right that out her(not in Nigeria typically) the person that makes more does matters. However, you lie when you say it is common place in Nigeria for men whose wives make more to look for ways to help out at home. That has never been common place and still isn't, in Nigeria. Many more, rather than allow the woman to continue to make more, will look for ways they can beat her at all cost. There are tons of examples of unemployed/near-unemployed Nigerian men whose wives make more than they do, that still leave most 100% of the home chores to the already stressed woman. Walk into your average Nigerian market for instance and ask any one of those market women there how her husband helps and you might get an earful of stories of how the men don't contribute much to their lives apart from being fu_ckmaster of the home. This happens to be the typical picture of the Nigerian man even to this day so that one of your friend's decided to start a business(by the way starting a business of what kind? Last I checked it requires you invest more hours than your average 9-to-5 job)

In a nutshell... U r saying naija men don't help out cuz of their huge EGOs rite?...


personally, can U leave your child to be cared for by your husband?.... Knowing fully well that naturally men lack those instincts on what to do wen it comes to kids....

Kobojunkie:

Please make sure you understand where @KoboJunkie is coming from before you butcher my logic. The example I gave is no longer a rarity. The last Recession sort of opened the eyes of a lot of conceited individuals out there to the fact that they are not as INVISIBLE as they initially thought. A lot of men lost their jobs and found themselves depending on their wives for support, and they had to force themselves to loose there macho ideals and many of them had to re-structure their lives to adjust to the new reality of life and that reality is that whether you have a cork or v-jay-jay down there, it does not matter at all, either one of you can do the work that is required to protect and provide for the family.

You are right that out her(not in Nigeria typically) the person that makes more does matters. However, you lie when you say it is common place in Nigeria for men whose wives make more to look for ways to help out at home. That has never been common place and still isn't, in Nigeria. Many more, rather than allow the woman to continue to make more, will look for ways they can beat her at all cost. There are tons of examples of unemployed/near-unemployed Nigerian men whose wives make more than they do, that still leave most 100% of the home chores to the already stressed woman. Walk into your average Nigerian market for instance and ask any one of those market women there how her husband helps and you might get an earful of stories of how the men don't contribute much to their lives apart from being fu_ckmaster of the home. This happens to be the typical picture of the Nigerian man even to this day so that one of your friend's decided to start a business(by the way starting a business of what kind? Last I checked it requires you invest more hours than your average 9-to-5 job)

In a nutshell... U r saying naija men don't help out cuz of their huge EGOs rite?...


personally, can U leave your child to be cared for by your husband?.... Knowing fully well that naturally men lack those instincts on what to do wen it comes to kids....

phineboy1pimple:
In a nutshell... U r saying naija men don't help out cuz of their huge EGOs rite?...

personally, can U leave your child to be cared for by your husband?.... Knowing fully well that naturally men lack those instincts on what to do wen it comes to kids....

[size=13pt]That question of yours is insulting, you know that right? Are you suggesting that men are INCAPABLE of raising their own kids? Men naturally lack the instincts on what to do when it comes to kids? What men? Are you thinking instead of imb_eciles here?? Even Gorillas know how to raise their own children, let alone the children from other fathers in the pack, but here you are asking me whether a man can care for his own children? Where do you folks get these out of these world insane ideas from? I am seriously disturbed by that question..[/size]

Anywho, for the sake of giving you an answer, of course if we are to assume I am a woman, I will leave my kids with my husband anyday, time or year.

Gosh, that question of yours leaves me sad for Nigeria . . I wonder how many young men out there think what you said makes sense. It really disturbs the mind to think there are people who actually think this way.

I would rather go to work

maclatunji:

Hehehehe... I like your post. You said it, those women work their socks off. Many do more than that as well. Ideally they shouldn't. OP asked for the ideal and I have stated what my ideal is. Reality may end-up being different. However, I won't lie to myself that it is the best thing.

Going along with your example, how does slaving away and being subject to occasional passes bring about fulfilment for the woman? She still has to get home and perform wifely and motherly duties. She is bound to fail one of these duties at some point.

It is funny how some people scoff at Home Management, it is a demanding job and has great dignity attached to it. I have never said a wife should not work. All I have said is put your family first and don't fool yourself that you are coping when you get home every might spent after a hard day's work and your kids at the mercy of third parties.

Well said BRO... Duffn ma fila 4 U....

jesus wept at some of these statements

[CHocolaTE:
]


Readthe below, these things have been posted in this thread before but you clearly didn't read through your own thread before posting replies.
vvvvvvvvvvv
what happens to these same kids if God forbids the man slumps and dies suddenly?That woman'a husband could loose his job, he could die, he could suffer some form of paralysis that keeps him from being able to work for the rest of his life. What then? How does she survive when she has no job or has a low paying job that will not fetch her enough money to take care of herself and her children?



I don't know whether to laugh or shout at the inanity of this response.

No1 said she shouldn't b gainfully employed... What we are emphasizing is... If what she does will give her d time to b with her family...

@phineboy1pimple
i said depend the kind of girl i marry,but i have a reason of that decision,i think she may underst me and accept the decision for our own good

Kobojunkie:

[size=13pt]That question of yours is insulting, you know that right? Are you suggesting that men are INCAPABLE of raising their own kids? Men naturally lack the instincts on what to do when it comes to kids? What men? Are you thinking instead of imb_eciles here?? Even Gorillas know how to raise their own children, let alone the children from other fathers in the pack, but here you are asking me whether a man can care for his own children? Where do you folks get these out of these world insane ideas from? I am seriously disturbed by that question..[/size]

Anywho, for the sake of giving you an answer, of course if we are to assume I am a woman, I will leave my kids with my husband anyday, time or year.

Gosh, that question of yours leaves me sad for Nigeria . . I wonder how many young men out there think what you said makes sense. It really disturbs the mind to think there are people who actually think this way.

I don't knw if U are a dude or a dame but BRO, u knw I'm rite... I'll stick to my gun anytime any day... How many times did ur dad had time to bath U wen U wia a toddler?...


I vividly remember a time my dad used d "Sponge" he was using to scrub me to wash my teeth.... I was pretty young then but I still remember every details till date....

Aunty CC - ehhhhhhhhhh ehhhhhhhhhhhh u are ignoring me abi - don't worry when my daughter's boyfriends parents from play group buy me an X5 just so that i can give their 2 year old son face to talk to my daughter thats when u will answer me abi

phineboy1pimple: I don't knw if U are a dude or a dame but BRO, u knw I'm rite... I'll stick to my gun anytime any day... How many times did ur dad had time to bath U wen U wia a toddler?...
I vividly remember a time my dad used d "Sponge" he was using to scrub me to wash my teeth.... I was pretty young then but I still remember every details till date....

How in the world do you know you are right? There are millions of men/women today who were raised by their father(probably mother ran away or maybe died or could not help at all), and they would look at people like you and think to stone you to death for such an utterance.

How dare you declare that men are lower animals than even the baboon and the gorilla and still beat your chest that you are right?

slimchi2k2: @phineboy1pimple
i said depend the kind of girl i marry,but i have a reason of that decision,i think she may underst me and accept the decision for our own good

I hope so BRO... I truly do...

phineboy1pimple:


personally, can U leave your child to be cared for by your husband?.... Knowing fully well that naturally men lack those instincts on what to do wen it comes to kids....

[size=4pt]Jeedus! Some men will really go as far as calling themselves dumbos just to get one over women[/size]

Kobojunkie:

How in the world do you know you are right? There are millions of men/women today who were raised by their father(probably mother ran away or maybe died or could not help at all), and they would look at people like you and think to stone you to death for such an utterance.

How dare you declare that men are lower animals than even the baboon and the gorilla and still beat your chest that you are right?

I never said dey are... Can never insinuate such... All I'm saying is, Men generally lack that maternal instincts... U can compare a child raised by a good mother to that by a good father.... D difference will always b clear...