mature advice pls

9 years? That means u both have passed the normal duration for courtship and thus,know what u really feel for each other...As for me,i will go ahead and marry the supposed love of my life,cos i am the one who is going to live with her till whenever,and not my father.

Since this is a real life question, I will ask him for his reasons and if he doesnt produce a reasonable answer, I will call his bluff and tell him to fvck off.

But this will be so impossible because my father is extremely intelligent and smart, he will certainly have a very good and reaasonable reason so the marriage is as good as terminated.

How do you expect matured advise when we don't know your dad's reason??

Btw if you've been seeing this guy for the past 9yrs and you two had plans of settling down, shouldn't your parents have met him before now?

binger: 9 years? That means u both have passed the normal duration for courtship and thus,know what u really feel for each other...As for me,i will go ahead and marry the supposed love of my life,cos i am the one who is going to live with her till whenever,and not my father.

lol i sincerely hope u don't mean that. If you think parental consent ain't important then u might wanna think again.

uj_sizzle:
lol i sincerely hope u don't mean that. If you think parental consent ain't important then u might wanna think again.

lol...i knw its very important. But first,my dad isn't the kind that opposes a 'union' that has lasted that long. Secondly,if he opposes that with cogent reasons, i am sure that no reason will make me vacillate on my decision to marry a girl av been with for 9 solid,frigging yrs. #candidme

Well ur parents should have a good reason for doin that.

But as for me, no one tells me whom to marry or who not to marry. I play my games my self, i carry my cross my self, and i live my life myself, so anyone that wants to interfer with my life can only advice me and not compel me...

But guess what OP, I am not u.

binger: lol...i knw its very important. But first,my dad isn't the kind that opposes a 'union' that has lasted that long. Secondly,if he opposes that with cogent reasons, i am sure that no reason will make me vacillate on my decision to marry a girl av been with for 9 yrs. #candidme

how well do u know her family and i don't mean just her parents...way further. This is exactly what parents look at while we stick to the said person in question.

uj_sizzle:
how well do u know her family and i don't mean just her parents...way further. This is exactly what parents look at while we stick to the said person in question.

I don't think it is possible to stick to a lady for almost a decade without knwing her Origin(indepth background) and Potential Destination in life. It's 9 yrs we are talking about here.if a r/ship can last that long,it is worthy of 'tying the nuptial knot'...

Marriage is then complicated.

Juju your father

THANKS ALL. HIS REASON IS THAT HE DON'T LIKE HIS CHURCH AND THE GUY FAMILY ALLOW ANY KIND OF CHURCH AND MY DAD IS NOT IN SUPPORT OF THAT. WE ARE SERIOUSLY PLANNING OF SETTLING DOWN BY MARCH NEXT YEAR.MY PARENTS AND SIBLINGS KNOWS HIM. I;M CONFUSE

WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW. DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM WHAT MY DAD SAID ABOUT OUR UNION , CAN'T EVEN FACE HIM OR PICK HIS CALLS.AND HE HAS NOTICE IT. WHAT SHOULD I DO

omanma 2013: WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW. DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM WHAT MY DAD SAID ABOUT OUR UNION , CAN'T EVEN FACE HIM OR PICK HIS CALLS.AND HE HAS NOTICE IT. WHAT SHOULD I DO

Take 3 bottles of alomo and call him.

If the reason he gives is a very solid and genuine reason, i would look at it.
But if its a sentimental, nonsense, very foolish and stupid reason especially if its tribe difference e.t.c, i would ignore it.
And just marry quietly.

I don't think anybody has the right to determine who i would get marry too. You can only advise and if your reasons are very genuine and clear and worth heeding i would acknowledge it, if otherwise, i won't listen. After all, am the person who would live with the person i marry so it should be someone i know i can spend the rest of my life with.

But it would be nice if you told us the reason why he refuses

omanma 2013: WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW. DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM WHAT MY DAD SAID ABOUT OUR UNION , CAN'T EVEN FACE HIM OR PICK HIS CALLS.AND HE HAS NOTICE IT. WHAT SHOULD I DO

please tell us the church he attends and the church you attend.

AmBeautiful: I don't think anybody has the right to determine who i would get marry too. You can only advise and if your reasons are very genuine and clear and worth heeding i would acknowledge it, if otherwise, i won't listen. After all, am the person who would live with the person i marry so it should be someone i know i can spend the rest of my life with.

But it would be nice if you told us the reason why he refuses

@bolded, my point exactly.

why were you courting for 9 years.

when answering, please cook up a believable story, not some jargon.

After 9 years? I will first ask the man if I am the one marrying or he is.

I don't really see parental consent as that an important pre-requisite for marriage so I will go ahead and marry whoever it is I wanna marry

This is wat i know, parental consent is very important!!
customarily, a marriage aint a marriage unless d parents consents, expecially the girls parents.
now a lady above 21 can decide to call her parents bluff and marry her choice but sometimes such ladies end up regreting.
im not saying my parents ll choose my hubby, but its important dey give their consent....

op, did u care to ask ur dad why he refused to give his consent?
do u think his reasons unreasonable?
why is dis issue coming up now, did u just realize u ll like to marry ur love after 9 yrs?
y didnt ur love meet ur parents through out your courtship? or did he, and ur parents told u den and u stubbornly refused to severe d rship?
did dey give their consent initially and later withdrew it? if so, why?
WHY DID U DATE HIM FOR 9 YRS??

u should provide us with more facts to enable us adequately advice u.
personally, i do not see how some one can date a person 4 9yrs nd not meet d parents, ow someone can date anyone 4 9yrs and not be sure dey r heading to d alter and der is no encumberance, or were u 14 wen u started dating him?

the choice of who to marry is yours but i still think u shouldnt completely disregard ur father except u knw his reasons do not hold water
so i ask again, why has he refused to give his consent??

Parents consent is greatly over rated. But i can't help but raise the questions Gree-die raised. They need answers

@tpia1 we dated for 9 yrs because we r both in school and from school we went to service(nysc). @ gree- die i asked my dad what is reasons are,we dated for those 9yrs but we have ups and downs along the way and we were in school .my parents knew him but then he has not made his intention new to them until now.