Let everyone understand their roles, Men are design to protect, finance, lead, and women roles are to care for the man's estate; this include care for the kids. It is not my wife role to provide for the home, that is my job. (Woman's money is woman's money) she can't spend her money on me, she must ask if she can get things for her kids before doing so.

Let everyone know the reason why men have balls and women don't. In all its all about coexisting, coperation, communication and conjugal responsibilities. let everyone knows their duties and it will be well.

Gender Roles my friend!

If my wife travels to Kuvukiland and I have little kids in the house, it falls on me to prepare meals for them and shít.

If she's around, you can only catch me dead in the kitchen - except to steal meat or something.

Watch some NatGeo for perspective, the marrafakin lion just chills like king-kong while other members of the pride do the hunting and shít.

BUT...once there's some 'heavy-lifting' to be done, like some stubborn buffalo that refuses to go down. Our warrior shows up and does HIS JOB. Áss kicking.

A man's role encompasses several attributes that cannot be quantified in terms of cutting onions and changing drapers. The admin staff who sits on his desk and 'only' pushes paper doesn't not necessarily do less work that the factory worker who drives a forklift. They just have different roles.

A man's roles include: Leadership, protection and guidance. Responsibilities you cannot easily quantify.

http: Let everyone understand their roles, Men are design to protect, finance, lead, and women roles are to care for the man's estate; this include care for the kids. It is not my wife role to provide for the home, that is my job. (Woman's money is woman's money) she can't spend her money on me, she must ask if she can get things for her kids before doing so.

Let everyone know the reason why men have balls and women don't. In all its all about coexisting, coperation, communication and conjugal responsibilities. let everyone knows their duties and it will be well.

*Thumbs*

With the commentaries coming out from the ladies quarters I can smell many divorce in the air.

ayo ade:

Answers to 1& 2 is nothing.
Answer to 3 is my younger sisters
Answer to 4 is no, thats my responsibility not hers.

Though the question was for OP but nevertheless...
You mean your wife runs about to do everything and you just do... nothing? As for no 3, Your younger sisters do all these things while you are living alone? Can you please explain? As for no 4, your wife DOES NOT contribute at all for the home upkeep?

991: who told you that men don't help in domestic chores? up til now i still wash my clothes, my wife's and that of the kids. I cook when my wife is tired, drive the kids to and from school daily. Thank God am self employed so i have time to care for my family.

Please don't say it out ooooooooooooo! some people will term you a woman o! On a serious note, Kudos to you!

fellis:

So your mother is among those women who would take a mile if you give them an inch?



How often is furniture moved around in the house? Which heavy lifting are you even talking about that the wife cannot carry out with the help of her children and how often do electrical units need installations? You mean to say that your work in the house are the type of work that only come up once a month or once in a couple of years abi? While your wife's house work are an everyday affair.
How nice.



Before you married and while you were still washing your clothes by yourself you were not a afemale, you were male. And doing those things did not turn you into a female.



Your ideas on what 'positions' everybody should play are not binding on the whole of humanity and they are not written anywhere as laws that must be followed. If you like living that way, fine. It doesn't mean that those are the positions people should play.



If your wife's car breaks down then she can call a mechanic. You don't have to leave your work to drive 30 miles. That is just ridiculous.

i fell inlove wit his reply, bt nw urs are making me change my mind.. U guys must be legal practionals.
Kip it up.

In conclusion, Hubbies plz help ur wives so they can live longer and fresher 4 ur own satisfaction.

Wives, treat ur Hubbies as ur Kings...

Mind u, a good King is also a servant..

I love naira landers.

Double Portion Wisdom to all of you.

omiobo:

1 strategising
2 strategising
3 nobody,status
4 NO

Lol at strategising? @no 4, you don't expect your wife to contribute at all?

Helpin in house chores has 2 b at d free will of d husband.
Just like d Op said, once d husband does it , d woman assumes it's his responsibility.
My husband only help me at his free will. I dn't expect him 2 do dem 4 me; bt if he decides 2 help , all well and gud.

Because I foot the domestic bills&her shopping cravings.
I make more of the money
She spends most of the money even though she has her own
Is that simple enough for you to understand?

I wonder Y al dis women are flair up sayin man shd be helping in the domestic chore.....they'v forgotten that wen we were dating they choose to be doing everything to impress us, they will want to wash our clothes, cook for us sweep the floor etc....witot any complain but once they got the bond they will start behaving funny, complaining men are too wicked....yes both of us are working but its my money that are going for 90% of taking care of the family, i will also spread d spending to your parents, younger ones, etc...but yours is to buy clothes, shoes, etc and may be contribute 5% in the name of adding to the one i gave you to buy things in the market....do not forget that these same women never come back from market and tell their husband that things are very cheap in the market today....and return the man's change....they always come with the excuse of things are too expensive....they had to add to the money......I beg make una dey do the domestic chore....while i keep on hussling for the cash.......

HARDDON:

Huh?

Return here after your soulful expedition and Ask ♏ԑ dis same question when you suddenly wake up oηε ♏☺r♌ing with ballzz inbtw your legs.

Not until den, d man remains d head of the family just as christ is d head of d church .

He has bin saddled ωiƒ the responsibility of providing, protecting and generally seeing to d well being of d bunch.

Dis doesn't sound like rocket science , does it?

If i may ask, what exactly r you trying to propose? The woman take over d breadwinner role? And den she turns around tomorrow and tell him to his face that he is not man enuf? Jeez Fellis.

Like i said ealier on, dnt secret too Much estrogen' in dis case deawie. It aint gono help Ʊ .

one doesnt have to grow balls to know whats its like to be a man.

a woman's money has never been 100% percent hers and you know this! if she marries u and answers ur last name,by all means pls live up to ur role as the husband. now if shes married to u and she splits the financial cost of running the home wif u,then u shld split the efforts in running your home...

the whites hardly kep domestic helps (unlike nig)cos both the man and woman jointly run the home cos at the end,the home is theirs not the husband's or wife'.

if u lived abroad,you wldnt make such comments!

If u help she will turn it to ur duty and the day u dont feel like doing it that means u have a sweet 16 outside.

And if u dont help that means u r not caring

women cant be satisfied

u can even help ur wife to wash her paint (MR GBEWUDANI)because u are a naija man were

African man with African mentality. You guys should better wake. Helping your wife with house chores does not remove the fact that you are the head of the house. Since the TWO shall become ONE and the TWO became ONE, then you and your wife need to act as ONE. Wake up African men!

gbam! @ OP you re on point exactly what I am going trough...it's annoying u know especially when you are reminded or when there is a kind of duty roster for the chores henceforth.......

lukaino: To start with, my responsibility as the head of the family is to provide for the family regardless of whatever my wife makes(A woman's money is a woman's money), also, it is my duty to spend time to think about how to ensure that the family as a whole moves forward- i do this when she's busy with the domestic chores. Also, as Africans, domestic chores is meant to be a woman's duty which she does with pride, teaching her daughters also. Growing up, i can't remember seeing my father wash dishes , sweep or wash clothes; the guy spent his time providing for the family to the point of ensuring that my mother does not have anything to do with providing for anyone. This is African and thats what the outside world finds amazing with us.
I am not an advocate of working the woman whom i love to death; thats why i take out some very strong tasks for myself sometimes; for this i deserve nothing but appreciation(for over stepping my boundaries )

africa aint nig, speak for ur country!

what type of chores are u afraid of doing?
since farming is almost a thing of the past,what does the son do while the daughter is helping mum?

and when the mum has all sons,she has to hire househelps (human being) to do what her own sons (super humans) shldnt do cos of tradition and culture?

I wonder who made this wonderful law that most Naija men so dearly hold on to 'it's a woman's duty' to do so and so. So what if the woman does some man's duty, does that require a duty reshuffle at the court I don’t know what world most of people live in, but I pull my weight as much as my husband on the supposed Men matters, as such, I very much expect him to pull his. Coz, I'm no machine, no messiah or computer. overtime even the machine and computer would at some point burn out from overuse.

I don’t think its right, if you both have had a long day, one person is in the background sorting out things; dinner, school lunch for kids etc and the other person faffs around. My idea is in every situation and circumstance I need to be adding value, no matter how tired I am, I find it hard to be idle if someone else around me is busy and there are other things that can be done.

Infact this conversation I hate revisiting, the energy it takes and could be spent improving other areas. One day, the Nigerian man would wake up and spell the coffee, times have changed from the times of our mothers and grandmothers, the same way these men have evolved from queuing at NITEL or a neighbours house to receive calls, to having home phone, to thuraya - cellular 090 - to GSM, now internet on the go to Ipads n Iphones, these same evolution needs to take place in the mindset and mentality.

And whilst the men go through the slow and highly needed change, to the women that take it in their strides, you have better be getting some good loving in return (then it makes it all worthwhile) otherwise, someday you would wake up and see that you are so spent out.

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oradee:

one doesnt have to grow balls to know whats its like to be a man.

a woman's money has never been 100% percent hers and you know this! if she marries u and answers ur last name,by all means pls live up to ur role as the husband. now if shes married to u and she splits the financial cost of running the home wif u,then u shld split the efforts in running your home...

the whites hardly kep domestic helps (unlike nig)cos both the man and woman jointly run the home cos at the end,the home is theirs not the husband's or wife'.

if u lived abroad,you wldnt make such comments!

You make ur home the way you want it to be, every home is different, so pls leave White people out of this cos when u talk about family, everone here know that they have failed 100%, they have nothing to emulate regard family values and all of those divorce will come out.

There is no equality between a man and a woman, you can't compare a man and woman together, compare a man to another man, likewise woman.
Our roles and responsibilities are different, the day you stick to that rules, the better things work out. May be you should ask yourself why men die before female mostly in marriages.... Its a must men must provide, protect, guide and bear the brunt on the relationship...

sincerely, women are gud at taking advantage over tins....thats y i dont help my sis either....

tsmith: I wonder who made this wonderful law that most Naija men so dearly hold on to 'it's a woman's duty' to do so and so. So what if the woman does some man's duty, does that require a duty reshuffle at the court I don’t know what world most of people live in, but I pull my weight as much as my husband on the supposed Men matters, as such, I very much expect him to pull his. Coz, I'm no machine, no messiah or computer. overtime even the machine and computer would at some point burn out from overuse.

I don’t think its right, if you both have had a long day, one person is in the background sorting out things; dinner, school lunch for kids etc and the other person faffs around. My idea is in every situation and circumstance I need to be adding value, no matter how tired I am, I find it hard to be idle if someone else around me is busy and there are other things that can be done.

Infact this conversation I hate revisiting, the energy it takes and could be spent improving other areas. One day, the Nigerian man would wake up and spell the coffee, times have changed from the times of our mothers and grandmothers, the same way these men have evolved from queuing at NITEL or a neighbours house to receive calls, to having home phone, to thuraya - cellular 090 - to GSM, now internet on the go to Ipads n Iphones, these same evolution needs to take place in the mindset and mentality.

And whilst the men go through the slow and highly needed change, to the women that take it in their strides, you have better be getting some good loving in return (then it makes it all worthwhile) otherwise, someday you would wake up and see that you are so spent out.

Mrs Smith, pls do your roles and leave the man's roles for him, am sure u want to enjoy ur hubby, its not african thing that roles are different, learn to understand why giving birth is a female roles and impregnating is meant for men. like i said earlier there is a diffence between male organ and that of a female, there roles never change even in the wolrld of Ipad, Iphone, Ipod and what have you.

Read manual before using a product, pls read Men's manual before getting married, for best performance.... I have giving mens roles and pls let it be that way for your best enjoyment of the product.

To he who said he cant remember seeing his father do house chores? Is your home your father's house? the requirements then are different to yours, so you need to tailor your needs to your household's requirement. Can i also ask, do you aim to do as well as your father in life or better than? So why limit your efforts to that, that should matter most, i.e. your home?

To Everyone complaining about chores becoming a duty? remember the story of a job that needed to be done, and 'everybody' thought it was 'somebody's' job, yet 'nobody' did it? That's what happens when there is no agreed structure in place, chaos and manic!. You all work so hard at your career and jobs (these are goverened by structure and processes) yet refuse to put your homes in such order.

The pricinples that make the organisations you work for successful, try implementing similar to your homes and family and see whether it wont be a happier more successful home or not. I bet at work you have a clear job description, each person is aware of input/outputs. yet you are still expected to be flexible enough to support other members of the team and organisations with adhoc tasks. How can you put your best efforts towards a job, career etc yet give out peanuts to your home, knowing that whether the chips are down or up, home is where you return?

To those that don't contribute to the family life at home, its fine coz there might be no requirement for it, you may have a line of househelps or aburos, your wife might be a housewife or just simply good at keeping on top of things, but if your home requires it and your wife is asking for help, then please frigging get to it! As it works in lagbaja's house isnt how is gonna work in yours remember!

To he who said he cant remember seeing his father do house chores? Is your home your father's house? the requirements then are different to yours, so you need to tailor your needs to your household's requirement. Can i also ask, do you aim to do as well as your father in life or better than? So why limit your efforts to that, that should matter most, i.e. your home?

To Everyone complaining about chores becoming a duty? remember the story of a job that needed to be done, and 'everybody' thought it was 'somebody's' job, yet 'nobody' did it? That's what happens when there is no agreed structure in place, chaos and manic!. You all work so hard at your career and jobs (these are goverened by structure and processes) yet refuse to put your homes in such order.

The pricinples that make the organisations you work for successful, try implementing similar to your homes and family and see whether it wont be a happier more successful home or not. I bet at work you have a clear job description, each person is aware of input/outputs. yet you are still expected to be flexible enough to support other members of the team and organisations with adhoc tasks. How can you put your best efforts towards a job, career etc yet give out peanuts to your home, knowing that whether the chips are down or up, home is where you return?

To those that don't contribute to the family life at home, its fine coz there might be no requirement for it, you may have a line of househelps or aburos, your wife might be a housewife or just simply good at keeping on top of things, but if your home requires it and your wife is asking for help, then please frigging get to it! As it works in lagbaja's house isnt how is gonna work in yours remember!

tsmith: To he who said he cant remember seeing his father do house chores? Is your home your father's house? the requirements then are different to yours, so you need to tailor your needs to your household's requirement. Can i also ask, do you aim to do as well as your father in life or better than? So why limit your efforts to that, that should matter most, i.e. your home?

To Everyone complaining about chores becoming a duty? remember the story of a job that needed to be done, and 'everybody' thought it was 'somebody's' job, yet 'nobody' did it? That's what happens when there is no agreed structure in place, chaos and manic!. You all work so hard at your career and jobs (these are goverened by structure and processes) yet refuse to put your homes in such order.

The pricinples that make the organisations you work for successful, try implementing similar to your homes and family and see whether it wont be a happier more successful home or not. I bet at work you have a clear job description, each person is aware of input/outputs. yet you are still expected to be flexible enough to support other members of the team and organisations with adhoc tasks. How can you put your best efforts towards a job, career etc yet give out peanuts to your home, knowing that whether the chips are down or up, home is where you return?

To those that don't contribute to the family life at home, its fine coz there might be no requirement for it, you may have a line of househelps or aburos, your wife might be a housewife or just simply good at keeping on top of things, but if your home requires it and your wife is asking for help, then please frigging get to it! As it works in lagbaja's house isnt how is gonna work in yours remember!

So, woman! get to work and stop complaining.

http: You make ur home the way you want it to be, every home is different, so pls leave White people out of this cos when u talk about family, everone here know that they have failed 100%, they have nothing to emulate regard family values and all of those divorce will come out.

There is no equality between a man and a woman, you can't compare a man and woman together, compare a man to another man, likewise woman.
Our roles and responsibilities are different, the day you stick to that rules, the better things work out. May be you should ask yourself why men die before female mostly in marriages.... Its a must men must provide, protect, guide and bear the brunt on the relationship...

if u know this,then why wld he come and nag bout going stuff at home for the benefit of his own family?
he obviously isnt used to doing stuff around the house.

dear mothers,the earlier u integrate ur sons into domestic living from their early childhood,the fewer such posts make front page on NL..

There is no one fit for every marriage, as such no marriage manual. each is different, you tailor your fit and manual to yours, with regular updates as life changes. Now within your tailored manual, there would be obviously some gender related duties, i am not oblivous to the fact that men and women are genetically different.

I am an african living in the western world BTW and i really dont want to be dragged into the what i do and what he does not line, but I know a lot of naija man do have double standards and views, thereby taking a major P*I*S*S!!!

lukaino: Many times we hear women complain about men not helping out with any of the domestic chores and people are quick to conclude that such men are wicked and insensitive. I think men have reasons for not helping out. Mine for example is that all the times i tried to help out with something, my wife automatically makes it my duty every other time; she'll even remind me when i don't do it. I think one should help out of one's free will. Guys what are your reasons?

Beside this, if u continue helping ur wife, and either ur friend or family see u doing such chores, they'll take u as a fool, dat u've been given charms. Whenever dis happens, u feel embarrassed

Petraman: Beside this, if u continue helping ur wife, and either ur friend or family see u doing such chores, they'll take u as a fool, dat u've been given charms. Whenever dis happens, u feel embarrassed

You would olny feel embarassed if you give a faff abut what others think and have no pride in your judgement and careful thoughts behind every decision.

I for one dont live my life by someone else's yardstick, i set mine!

@op, no probs. Dont help wit d chores if u dont expect her to help financially.
Hope doing ur laundry n taking care of u in any form is not part of d chores.
Wht do u do at those times she is busy?

lukaino: Many times we hear women complaining about men not helping out with any of the domestic chores and people are quick to conclude that such men are wicked and insensitive. I think men have reasons for not helping out. Mine for example is that all the times i tried to help out with something, my wife automatically makes it my duty every other time; she'll even remind me when i don't do it. I think one should help out of one's free will. Guys what are your reasons?

Beside this, if u continue helping ur wife, and either ur friend or family see u doing such chores, they'll take u as a fool, dat u've been given charms. Whenever dis happens, u feel embarrassed

Petraman: Beside this, if u continue helping ur wife, and either ur friend or family see u doing such chores, they'll take u as a fool, dat u've been given charms. Whenever dis happens, u feel embarrassed

thats strange,a grown-a$s man is bothered bout people think bout now he runs his home wif his wife?

do u all know that President Obama changed malia's diapers when michelle slept sometimes, and we all wonder why their love is so enviously strong?

Yeah sure, we know you stereotypical male. Your wife does all the house chores, feed & maintain your children, host your friends & family, contribute financially to the house keep, etc Yet, you expect total loving from her…Imagine if the role were to be reversed and all she is bothered with is the contributory financial stance and the occasional security men give now. Men will scream for revolution!