**coughs into thread** Hi dollz!

Smartie gurl: **coughs into thread** Hi dollz!

**peeping into thread**

Erm...........this is gonna be long and might not make sense at the end but that's my personal contribution.



@virginice, In my own opinion,the only thing that would make a distant relationship work is if BOTH parties are truly in love,disciplined and are ready to put their ENERGY into it.

Note the word energy,cos there is this popular saying that

"Falling in love is very easy,but STAYING in love is hard".

Following these steps does not guarantee success as only que sera sera,but let's pray it helps.

1.Out of sight they say is out of mind,so you have to work hard to be in each others mind. Communication is the key,the I.C.T world has really made thede things easier. Talk about Skype,Facebook video calls,voice notes, BBm. Its kinda cost-intensive I tell you, so you guys have to make sure its not one sided.

2.Then you talk about trust. One way to fight this,is knowing each other's daily routines. Plan when is appropriate to call, so that your partner does not end up missing your calls all the time,there by raising suspicions/issues of infidelity.

For instance, a lady who is an undergraduate/a student,has more time to pick her phone ,than her boyfriend who is a Doctor/a teller in the bank/a pilot/a host/MOG/e.t.c.

There are times when you call these people and they can't pick their phones. Its annoying right?but it wasn't deliberate.
And then you have the poor internet connections,where you send a message today,and the person receives it tomorrow. Understand that you were not ignored on purpose. Lol

3.You can also bring in a third party. For instance ,he /she calls your phone and its not available,cos you are charging it somewhere,or you forgot it at home,or whatever. Is there someone else he/she can call?Not picking your phone can get your sweetheart tensed you know?

So how about,bringing him closer to a room mate?,a colleague at work?your best friend?whoever you feel comfortable with. So just for a back up,an alternatives means of reaching you?.....Just saying..

3.Mind and reduce the number of people you share your thoughts with. When you are in a distant relationship,people just make you loose focus by feeding you with doubts.

"Hmmm...are you sure he/she does not have someone there?","How long will you wait for this guy sef,?,"A bird at hand is worth more plenty in the bush,babe,grab these suitors coming for you now,before its too late"."Guy stay there and be feeling faithful, while somebori is helping you arrange your thing"

You might shake it off at first,but trust me,gradually,it will start affecting your relationship. You have to be focused and build a wall around your partner and your relationship. don't let people in.

4.Then you have the gifts. These days we have online stores like Amazon,Ebay,Jumia and the rest. Shop online for each other and have it delivered at their house,school,office. Even guys wants to be pampered once in a while. Don't make it a one sided thing,save for it. One of my colleagues at the office does this for his girl almost every month(she is in Lasgidi).Make I no lie o, am tripping

Lastly,you have the time frame. Personally I don't encourage long distance relationships to be stretched. Make it short and save your self some mental stress

Now this exclusively for the ladies. Days are gone when girls used to shy away from asking their man,his plan for 'Us'.If you are beginning to feel the pressure,open your mouth and ask him. Especially these yankee guys that we see once in 10yrs.Tell him that other guys are coming for you,and you are turning them down cos of the love you have for him.

Ask him questions like

"Honey(or whatever name you call him),where are we going?,what exactly am I to you"?

When next are you coming back?am not getting any younger you know?

Weird right?you don't want to sound desperate abi?

I understand but its better than staying there ,looking like Lucozade,


I have discovered that more than 50% of men develop cold feets when it comes to commitment. They need a tiny,little ,gentle push.
Don't stay there ,waiting Indefinitely. Tell him the gospel truth,your time is going!

Above all,involve your creator in the matter.


Happy Sunday,everyone

hmmmmmmm

i love this thread........ hi dolls

Single I am, Mingle me want to.

you nailed it carmiedoll. Thanks for the advice. Keepsakes are very important like you said earlier.

cmega123: you nailed it carmiedoll. Thanks for the advice. Keepsakes are very important like you said earlier.

You are welcome.Its not easy but God will surely help us.

Jeezzzzz! This lady is brilliant. You killed this angle pretty well.

You would pass for agony aunt and make good counsellor lol

I actually went back because of ichidodo.

Ichi, you should analytically, logically, psycologically and intelligently look at this matter. In my own case, I wont take my ex back o. It wont happen. Even if Jesus come down from heaven. It wont happen.

She did try to come back but I never accepted her. She used all tactics including sex, I no gree.

Like carmy said, most of this girls act to what they hear from people, mostly their female friends. My ex did admit to it which also confirm what carmy highlighted. She lost are virginity to one dude and so many things that I can't say, many of which my ex is really guity of.

She tried playing smart on me and till date, she thinks I am silly simply because of my gentle nature. What her kind do not know is that some the smartest people around are the gentle folks. I am very calculative and good at studying behavioural stunts.

A lot of things highlighted be carmy is what my ex is really guilty of. Though she did apologised and accepted that she had wronged me. She begged me 'in the name of God', and also told me her sexcapade with the guy she left me for. I wonder why she did that though but after said and done, i still didnt accept her back. It took me 3 years to forgive her and that was because she had begged me.


She came to see me in school twice just to have me back.

Ichidodo, one thing you should ask yourself: if all was rosy for her, do you think she would want to come back? This question should guied you.

Im my case, It is the reason I cant and will never accept her back. If the guy she left me for had married her, she wouldn't have come back. Another thing is that she has seen my kind are very rare out there and not realised worth because most guys just want to sleep with her etc.


My ex also said I dont expect her to be the same person she was back then, 3 years ago and that time, she was young, guys were coming around her etc. Oh, so them no dey come again?

Bro, the truth is most of these girls are leeches and they don't give a Bleep about you but themselves and what they stand to gain.

Back then I would starve myself because of this girl but not anymore. When it's time, I will use her just as other guys used her...

Sorry to say this, but I wont ever accept her back if I were you, especially if she left to date another guy or guys.

carmelion: @Ichidodo,you have to sit down and ask your self these questions
You may choose to answer it here or otherwise.
How old was she when she left?and how old is she now?Younger ladies tend to act according to what people say than what they want .The truth is that most of them are yet to know what they want sef,

Their life is still developing so they are easily influenced. Perharps she left,just to please someone/some people. But now her eyes have cleared. Please find out what EXACTLY happened .I wish she will be honest with you.

How long has she been away?and you need to find out what kind of life she has been leading while she was away.(Very Important).No matter how dirty it was,you deserve to know. Every bit of it.

Personally,I hate someone trying to play 'sharp' on me. Thinking,I won't find out? Oh no ,I hate it.

Why did she come back?. You need to look her in the eyes and ask her that.
She really has to be remorseful about what she did.

I mean she can't just walk in and out of someone's life any how she likes. No,its not done that way. She should understand that you have some feelings too.

Do you still love her and you are ready to live with the memory of what she did to you ?I mean never to spring it up in the future?Out of anger or whatever.

Or are you just going back to take your own pound of flesh?its tempting you know.

I hope you don't have anyother girlfriend now?Cos going back to this one would mean pushing another person away.

I will personally k*ll you if you try it!

Finally,she has not said she wants you back,please don't assume yet.Don't make it look as if

"Phew!Oh baaaby where have you been?I have been waiting for you?please come into my arms"

No. Make her ask for it. Control yourself for some time and see if she will still tag along. Or if she will give you this

*See -this -guy -o,he -is- not- even- serious. Does -he- not- know- that- am doing -him -a -favour- by -coming back?"kind of attitude.

Other wise she will take you for granted. Am a woman,sometimes we need some rough hands

N.B,she might not open up 100%,but let her do some talking,she owes you an explanation

I wish you luck

Hmmmmm! interesting been a while i commented just been following from the sidelines
had to comment cuz this long distance issue concerns me.

After my hrtbrk thing-i recently started dating a guy, he is Lagos and i am in Calabar-so far a day hasnt past without communication and that has helped a great deal in strenghtening our relationship although we see each other from time to time

i'll say communication trust and understanding is the key to a successful long distance relationship-i am enjoying the whole thing cuz i kinda like long distance relationships(it helps strenghtens my self dicipline and also prepares me for the future in case such situation arises when i am married maybe work, business and all that).

keep it coming guys i am learning.@ Carmydoll and all contributors i hail oo

Whoa! Is this all I've been missing? Subscribing...

Where are all the single ladies in the house.

Cutejay: Hmmmmm! interesting been a while i commented just been following from the sidelines
had to comment cuz this long distance issue concerns me.

[b]After my hrtbrk thing-i recently started dating a guy, he is Lagos and i am in Calabar-[/b]so far a day hasnt past without communication and that has helped a great deal in strenghtening our relationship although we see each other from time to time

i'll say communication trust and understanding is the key to a successful long distance relationship-i am enjoying the whole thing cuz i kinda like long distance relationships(it helps strenghtens my self dicipline and also prepares me for the future in case such situation arises when i am married maybe work, business and all that).

keep it coming guys i am learning.@ Carmydoll and all contributors i hail oo

Good to hear that you have gotten your grooove back babyAm happy for you!!!

Keep the communication candle burning.It sure does help.I wish you guys all the best

Carme u're a genius. If 1/3 of all d ladies possesed jst half of ur wisdom and philosophical nature, we did be much beta than d westerners. But I must advice on what u said abt yankee guys...they dnt worth it nowadays(most of them though nt all).
I so much admire this thread; d calmness, quality and standards of d ladies here... Would advice ladies to b careful and neva relent to being a house wife.

@2jideofor. I feel you bro, though am pretty confused at the moment but i reckon our situations could be similar-no pun intended- I am not a gentle person more like a rough N tumble guy, hard on the outside but soft on the inside. My ex understands that more than anybody else. Could she be using that to her advantage? What if things had turned differently for me would she want be associated with a loser? To be honest with you, i dont even want to know, all i care for are my indulgences, credit-worthiness and peace of mind. As far as am concerned, i am single and loving evry minute of it.

Chukskalidon: Carme u're a genius. If 1/3 of all d ladies possesed jst half of ur wisdom and philosophical nature, we did be much beta than d westerners. But I must advice on what u said abt yankee guys...they dnt worth it nowadays(most of them though nt all).
I so much admire this thread; d calmness, quality and standards of d ladies here... Would advice ladies to b careful and neva relent to being a house wife.

On behalf of carmedoll, I say thank you

This thread has been too gentle these days.
I wanna throw out a question to dolls...CAN YOU DATE AN UNATTRACTIVE GUY?
We all know that most ladies' fantasies and dreams is the "TDH" thing but assuming there's this guy who cares about you deeply and you're 60% sure he loves you (no mind me, I no dey bliv say person love another person 100% until I see undeniable proof) but the problem is that he's not tall or handsome. Infact, he's not just there, HE'S UGLY! Dolls, would you still agree to date the guy?

alutacontinua: This thread has been too gentle these days.
I wanna throw out a question to dolls...CAN YOU DATE AN UNATTRACTIVE GUY?
We all know that most ladies' fantasies and dreams is the "TDH" thing but assuming there's this guy who cares about you deeply and you're 60% sure he loves you (no mind me, I no dey bliv say person love another person 100% until I see undeniable proof) but the problem is that he's not tall or handsome. Infact, he's not just there, HE'S UGLY! Dolls, would you still agree to date the guy?

Sincerely, I can't go for an ugly guy... He has to be presentable, atleast. I can end up marrying a guy whose mouth is as long as "Enugu" or whose teeth is like that of a roasted goat. Attractiveness has its own way of sustaining love... What's the essence of dating/marrying a person you cannot proudly point to as your spouse/partner? In fact when one is not satisfied with the looks of one's partner, it may breed cheating. I'm not saying my guy must be TDH with triceps and biceps, but at least I should be able to walk side by side with him on the street and not feel embarrassed.

madridsta007:

On behalf of carmedoll, I say thank you

Thanks Chuks

alutacontinua: This thread has been too gentle these days.
I wanna throw out a question to dolls...CAN YOU DATE AN UNATTRACTIVE GUY?
We all know that most ladies' fantasies and dreams is the "TDH" thing but assuming there's this guy who cares about you deeply and you're 60% sure he loves you (no mind me, I no dey bliv say person love another person 100% until I see undeniable proof) but the problem is that he's not tall or handsome. Infact, he's not just there, HE'S UGLY! Dolls, would you still agree to date the guy?

Am speaking for my self o.

Who cares about ugliness?Not when the guy loves me, has a Yatch ,very neat,Godfearing and charges my battery(BANK ACCOUNT) full . Walahi,the whole ugliness would vanish.Handsomeness is in the eyes of the beholder you know


Erm.........what was the kweshon again?whether I can date him?.Yes!,I an date him

someone u find unattractive to u means u dnt admire or fascinate some things(if nt all) abt him. Without these things I dnt tink love will find its way...I dnt bliv u can love someone u dnt admire.
D result is a total failure when u date someone u dnt admire.

carmelion:

Am speaking for my self o.

Who cares about ugliness?Not when the guy loves me, has a Yatch ,very neat,Godfearing and charges my battery(BANK ACCOUNT) full . Walahi,the whole ugliness would vanish.Handsomeness is in the eyes of the beholder you know


Erm.........what was the kweshon again?whether I can date him?.Yes!,I an date him

Oh boy! No tym jawe...I gbadun you

@Chuks, i think you can actually love such a person. Most times, that love is always stronger cos it doesn't stem from superficial things. You have better reasons to be in love. Dolls, abi I lie

gree-die:

yea. u got it ryt.... get busy and try to severe any communication wit him until u r stable enuf to see him as just anoda male or ur emotions may betray u.
good luck.

welcome oskydoll . y do u feel lonely? c'mon, tell ur fellow dolls

o
looking for sugar mummy holla me on 08026414091

Checkout my new blog at www.ashmarkexclusive..com

carmelion:

Am speaking for my self o.

Who cares about ugliness?Not when the guy loves me, has a Yatch ,very neat,Godfearing and charges my battery(BANK ACCOUNT) full . Walahi,the whole ugliness would vanish.Handsomeness is in the eyes of the beholder you know


Erm.........what was the kweshon again?whether I can date him?.Yes!,I an date him

Hmmmmmm

korebaba: o
looking for sugar mummy holla me on 08026414091

erm..... i fit into d sugar daughter category. u get my drift try elsewhere.

madridsta007:

Hmmmmmm

What is hmmmmmm?That's the general gospel truth

Wow!! This thread is really growing oh!! How old is this thread now?

Have you guys seen this thread?

How did you meet your partner?
Hilarious I tell you,kai!NLanders sha

Below is the link


https://www.nairaland.com/560674/how-did-meet-partner