carmelion: For single ladies here who are in a relationship .I just saw this on the front page and i agree with almost everything there.Use it and checkmate your man.It truly hurts when you discover that you and your man are not on the same page.

To you ,you guys are in serious relationship,
building your future together,walking to the promise land.

To him,you are just a side chick.One of those girls to quench the sexual urge.
It hurts more when you have turned down a lot of other guys.

Go through this and know when something is not right.He must not do all,but when he is guilty of most of it,all i can say is hmmmmmm................

https://www.nairaland.com/1243856/signs-he-just-not-into



On the physical and emotional levels, a guy who will not share just doesn’t want to go too deep. That can be fine for a fling, but it’s not worth making an emotional investment on your part.

No matter what age you are or level of dating experience, reading men’s interest in you can be a struggle. Many men prefer to remain a mystery, opting for privacy in all areas of their lives until they are ready to make a major commitment. God bless the fella who will tell you his intentions up front. But for most men, catching on to their subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues can be an easier way to get their message and avoid unnecessary heartbreak. If you are wondering if your guy is on the fence, but are unsure of whether you should jet, here are 14 telltale signs that he is just not that into you. If anyone you are seeing exhibits a significant number of these traits, it is time to tell him to move along.

1. He takes forever to text or email you back

In this technological age, there is nothing easier than sending someone a quick email or text. If your male companion takes hours — or even days — to respond to these simple forms of communication with even one line of acknowledgment, it’s time to kick him to the curb. This is not only lazy — it’s also rude. He might not be sending you a text message, but he is certainly sending you a clear message of another kind. On to the next one!

2. He maintains physical and emotional distance

Does he often break eye contact, even in private? Or withhold sharing personal details about his life? On the physical and emotional levels, a guy who will not share just doesn’t want to go too deep. That can be fine for a fling, but it’s not worth making an emotional investment on your part. If you have had your fun, it’s time to move on to brighter horizons.

3. He never comes over to your house

Men don’t like to go out of their way — especially if they are not that into you. A guy who likes you wants to make efforts to show you are special to him. Someone who won’t even drive to your house or take the subway can’t be expected to give much in the long term. There are other top-notch fish in the sea. Trust.

4. He avoids touching you in public

If your guy friend loves to embrace, kiss and cuddle in the privacy of your home, but won’t even hold your hand on the street, this is a major warning sign. Either he doesn’t want to be seen as being “with” you, or he is scared one of his other lovers (or his wife!) will see you out in public. Drop this dude if he won’t even hold your hand.

5. He rudely shoots down your ideas

A guy can disagree with your way of seeing the world and still care. If all he does is disrespectfully disregard your perspective when communicating, he likely doesn’t think much of you. You don’t want to be with someone who can’t treat you nicely, especially when you are simply talking. Next!

6. He only sees you after midnight

It’s hard if you really like someone to open your eyes and admit to yourself that to him, you are a booty call. If you can handle that, more power to you. But don’t expect this relationship to go anywhere. If you want more from a man, it’s time to search elsewhere.

7. He won’t let you leave things at his house

If you are at his place often, a guy who is into you will be happy to let you stow essentials there. But if someone you are frequently dating won’t even let you leave a toothbrush at his house he is either a) an obsessive compulsive neat freak, or b) trying to hide you from other women. In either case, you might want to distance yourself.

8. He attends major events without you

Friend’s house party? Parents’ anniversary dinner? Maybe even his own birthday? Sometimes a man wants to maintain his independence. And at other times he wants to ensure that you don’t get too involved in his life so he can move on any time. If he never wants you around at a time of life that’s meaningful, you don’t mean that much to him. You also have better ways to spend your time — with family and friends who really care.

9. He refuses to make future plans with you — short- or long-term

Does this guy squeeze you into the corners of his life? Refuse to plan weekends away? Keep his schedule open weeks in advance? If he only makes last-minute plans with you, while cramming in other activities with friends, he is just not that into you. Sorry, but you deserve better.

10. He flakes out on plans you do have at the last minute

This is another clear sign that he does not respect you or your time. Make room in your life for someone who does.

11. He’s already involved with someone else

This man might say he loves you, but if he is seriously involved with another women, he can’t really be giving you his all. He is a man divided, so how into you could he be? Worse, even if he did leave his mate for you, he has lied to her. He will likely lie to you. You don’t want that. Stay strong and carry on to another man.

12. He doesn’t seem that interested in intimacy(romance)

If your sex life with dude is little to nothing, he is basically saying that he can do without you. This is rude, frustrating, and a little cruel. You don’t need that. Do what you’ve got to do for you, and find that man who makes you feel desirable.

13. He pulls a disappearing act

When you don’t see a man for days, weeks or months at a time without explanation, he is just not that into you. He might be seeing other people, or simply doesn’t want to spend his time with you. If you aren’t seen as life-enhancing by this man, take the time to find someone who cherishes you. Your time, energy and love are worth it.

14. He encourages you to date other people

This is a sure sign that he wants to be totally free, and is not in a mind to commit himself. You probably won’t change him, so why waste your time? No guy is worth it. You deserve a man who wants to spend quality time with you, and reflects back to you your own self worth. There are people out there who will treat you with loving respect. If your significant other exhibits many of these behaviors, take the hint and resist investing another minute. You deserve the best in life. Keep striving until you find the love you deserve.




WARNING!,If he is a player,he can still bypass most of these ,meeeehn,we need binoculars

carmelion:

I agree with the spark,but that does not make him theone.IT MEANS SOMETHING CAN WORK OUT.

Assuming he is the one immediately is where that mistake starts.Ladies are mostly guilty of this,I don't know if guys feel that way.

carmelion: Both lust and infatuation might lead to love later but i just hope you know the difference.

bukatyne:

Which moment?

There is absolutely nothing like 'Love at first sight'

carmelion:

^^^^,this man where have you been,and what is the meaning of profound?huh?

nbright: Even when you are in love you still worry after sex... To me I think that "worry" is a part of your conscience... Telling you that you've commited a sin (pre-marital sex).. That is for those that are religious and we all know the ladies are more religious than the men.. (percentage wise).

simayanki4real:

You write well but with so much pain and anger, you should let it go!

2sexy.net:
Aside the name calling... You are on point. A girl is currently with me and her friend wonders what she would be doing with guy like me while she turns down 'BiG' boys with cars...

Little does her friend know that I am already working on getting a job with an oil firm before I finish my NYSC... And you know what that means. The said girl does not even know what I am doing cos I never told her. She has no clue about any of my plans for the future but just want me. I'm still surprised at it all.

But her friend was the one who told me she turns down guys cos of me... The silly friend asked me if I got a car and that I am lucky that her friend despite her beauty turns down guys, does not flirt etc. She added that girls who are not as beautiful as her do date guys for the cash... And tomorrow, the friend may come here or elsewhere to say guys are bad, they use and dump girls, they dont want to settle down, all they want is se.x etc.

You ladies, most times are the cause of your own predicament. You cant tell me you have never met a nice guy. Of course, we are very few and hard to find like gold. But 'ojukokoro' no go let una see road.

Like my ex who confessed last month cos I dump the fool in 2009, she said she wanted to have fun and I was too serious then, coupled with the fact that guys were coming after her( so, dem no dey come again?). She visited me twice in 2012 begging me... Desperation don finish her life. she is first daughter and igbo.

All I can say is that just hold on to God... ( I know say na una know God pass)


Guys ARE no fools... Yes, most will take you out, buy you stuff, se.x etc but when they want to marry, they know just where to go... I know of a guy who dated fun-loving girls but when her wanted to marry nko, he went for a DIRECT opposite of the kind of girls he dated in the past.

carmelion:

My apologies,I agree.I am working on it seriously.Thanks

ichidodo: The hell there is such a thing. What happens when a man is introduced to a woman for the first time and he confides to close friends that he just met his wife-to-be? FYI that is how Pastor Oritsejafor met his wife or in the bible, the love story of ISAAC and REBECCA;JACOB and RACHEL,if that aint love at first sight then i dont know what it is. I believe in love at first sight or in my case in nairaland, love at first thought.

bukatyne:
I blame women who on desperate bid to marry accept proposals of wayward men.

bukatyne:

Do you know what love means...

I would agree there is attraction at first sight or lust but not love....

bukatyne:

Do you know what love means...

I would agree there is attraction at first sight or lust but not love. Remember that rebekah was already married to Isaac so the love MUST come at first sight. As for jacob, I have to reread that passage to be sure...

alutacontinua: I think the whole love thing is confusing jawe. I don't believe there are any rules as to how and when it develops. It's an emotion, it just happens when you allow it to. For some people, it might be at first sight...for others, it might be after the one-millionth sight, anytime you just experience it, make sure you enjoy it while it lasts.
*just my thoughts*

ichidodo: So, if love is an emotion, and emotions being spontaneous means that love can be spontaneous ergo there can be such a spontaneous reaction as love at first sythe or thought? No?

alutacontinua:

...you make a move and later realise that the personality anchoring the endowments is a wonderful one too. Gradually, you might start thinking of getting the entire package

alutacontinua: I think the whole love thing is confusing jawe. I don't believe there are any rules as to how and when it develops. It's an emotion, it just happens when you allow it to. For some people, it might be at first sight...for others, it might be after the one-millionth sight, anytime you just experience it, make sure you enjoy it while it lasts.
*just my thoughts*

nbright: so you don't blame those that also marry because the man is rich?.

ichidodo: O.k so maybe there was attraction....*thinking*.....but what kind of attraction that would make a normal man (as we know him to be in our society nowadays) wants to do something as 'crazy' as committing himself to a very serious relationship to a woman he was just introduced to?Example Am based abroad,yeah? So i come back home to spend my holidays with my ma and 'maybe ' find me a home-grown bride, just then i while comin home from a village outing i spy me some delectable damsel coming from the stream ,cupid strikes, i got my groove on then flex my mojo which she falls for and then i marry her. So if the attraction was lust would it not be proper i f!?k her and be on my way? What made me to marry her? Love,infatuation lust?

bukatyne:

Nbright,

I do not understand your question

ichidodo: duh?! How can lust turn into love that means love can turn into lust eh? That means love lust and infatuation are interchangable therefore all carmelion must have written up there could be crap. All this is making me dizzy.Peace out

nbright: Love is a GRADUAL thing not a one day thing..

alutacontinua: @simayanki, i think lust can turn into love. You see a gal and u're attracted by her 'chelsea and arsenal' (that would sound lyk lust)...you make a move and later realise that the personality anchoring the endowments is a wonderful one too. Gradually, you might start thinking of getting the entire package, don't u think so

simayanki4real: Hello dolls & gents!

Our elders say when you beat a child with one hand, you draw him close with another! I am entirely grateful for this thread which although serves as a red line to the dolls, is an eye opener & a mirror to us gents to better see ourselves & correct whatever miss deeds we have done/are doing.

The dolls in the house starting with carmydoll have constantly hammered on the misdeeds of gents, how bad & evil we can be... And they have shared series of experiences to this end. I refuse to believe that all the dolls seem to have missed a gud experience with a gent, even if its JUST a date.

Please don't be quick to dismiss this as it is so important: Ever since we have been filling the beauriful minds of our charming dolls of how relationships have failed, guys are dangerous, love stinks...this is an opportunity to plant a seed of HOPE into some minds, like the thin tiny thread they need to hold onto. Let's not deprive them the opportunity.

So starting with all the dolls: please tell us of the MOST BEAURIFUL TREATMENT A GUY HAS EVER GIVEN YOU and possibly how single ladies can get same!

I hope i am inorder@carmdoll!

simayanki4real: Hello dolls & gents!

Our elders say when you beat a child with one hand, you draw him close with another! I am entirely grateful for this thread which although serves as a red line to the dolls, is an eye opener & a mirror to us gents to better see ourselves & correct whatever miss deeds we have done/are doing.

The dolls in the house starting with carmydoll have constantly hammered on the misdeeds of gents, how bad & evil we can be... And they have shared series of experiences to this end. I refuse to believe that all the dolls seem to have missed a gud experience with a gent, even if its JUST a date.

Please don't be quick to dismiss this as it is so important: Ever since we have been filling the beauriful minds of our charming dolls of how relationships have failed, guys are dangerous, love stinks...this is an opportunity to plant a seed of HOPE into some minds, like the thin tiny thread they need to hold onto. Let's not deprive them the opportunity.

So starting with all the dolls: please tell us of the MOST BEAURIFUL TREATMENT A GUY HAS EVER GIVEN YOU and possibly how single ladies can get same!

I hope i am inorder@carmdoll!

alutacontinua: ....I know there are sweet guys out der e.g. nbright , ichidodo , simayanki , passionate88 and others...

passionate88: I bn say make i no comment till sunday bt this post don make me break my word. U say nbright sweet?, na wa o, d big head no dey comot from house, him no dey chase woman, him sabi shame, etc infact remove him name from that sweet guy list. D guy dey boring die. Alu, so u find me sweet too?, thank u

nbright: You said you blame women that get married out of desperation. So I was wondering if you don't blame those that do get married to a man just because of his wealth.