Don't get me wrong, I think friendship between a guy and a girl is a good thing but sometimes it makes life harder for the guys who want to date these girls. I've been seeing this girl for almost six months, she was introduced to me by a mutual friend. Anyway, I like her a lot, she is really funny, smart and down to earth. I like talking to her because no matter what I send her way, she collects and send back, sometimes it's like playing tennis with this girl.

She has two older brothers and one younger brother, she's surrounded by guys most of the time and from that I think she has seen and heard all the games guys play. Nothing I do surprises her, she will just smile and shake her head. One time I bought her flowers and she told me that even though she appreciates it, I should not waste my money on flowers. I thought that was nice until one day, I was at her place and one of her brother's friend said his girlfriend is angry with him and my girl said shebi it's a good thing you have the flower store on speed dial, call them now, you know how you do it. I think she forgot she told me not to buy her flowers because she turned to me and said that's why she hates flowers because men use it to pacify women and the women too will collect. If I tell her I need time alone, she will just say okay and leave or she'll say when I'm done, I should call her. No hassle, no question. I like her alot and I know she likes me too because of the way she acts, she's very sweet and caring to me.

It will look like I am complaining unneccesary but when a girl knows the step you will take before you take it, it makes life harder.  She acts like she knows there's a line she must not cross with me and sometimes it makes me angry.

Men make una take caution, you are ruining your women friends' lives and making it hard for the rest of us.
That is all, J

make una share your opinions.

Well, as one who sees things from the other side (i.e., I have sisters and more women than men in my family), it seems to me that you should count yourself lucky.  Whether you realize it or not, it seems to that you are dealing with a woman who is honest and intelligent.  Don't be intimidated by such a woman.  Celebrate the fact that she's willing to show those sides of herself to you.     

She doesn't wish to waste your time or hers playing "games."   Too often men will try to use a formula when trying to date a lady.  That's wrong.  Each lady is different, so why not celebrate that uniqueness?  She's special, so let her be.  Don't try to make her fit a mold.  She knows that men and women are all different (hence, her telling her brother about the flowers).  You, too, must realize that, and I'm sure that on some level, you do. 

This sounds like a woman that many men would be more than happy to be involved with.  With her, you know where you stand and you know where she stands.  It sounds as if she accepts who you are as you are.  That will free you both to enjoy each other rather than spending time to try to remake yourself or the other person into what you think that they want. 

And, yes, she does know that there's a line that she mustn't cross.  You know that, too, so what's the problem there?

guys with lots of female friends are either gay or shagging the friends on the down low

@Dri,
I like your input and I am glad you said it. Some guys just need to know that fact and stop trying to programme an intelligent ladies.

@poster,
like drinolli had said, you are lucky. Such girls don't fall in love easily and they won't deny you in time of trial. I had had female friends with no string attached, I had studied some of these girls and I can tell you that they are neat. If she is not dating the male friend in the first place, then you much know she had her reason for that. You have to show yourself as mature responsible and worthy of her time. You have to put up with her male friends, at least, while the chasing last. And if you are smart, get closer to the male friends and be friend with them. They may turn out to be the password to your girls heart. It depends on individual. You have to study the situation to take the right step.

The golden rule is: BE YOURSELF. Not all women are dumb.

@Eccentric

What do you mean?? It's an open competition if she is not yet hooked. I respect his relationship if he has gotten the girl. But if he's still in the planning stage, i'm in the plotting stage too. It's a free world as long as she is free!

drrionelli:

Well, as one who sees things from the other side (i.e., I have sisters and more women than men in my family), it seems to me that you should count yourself lucky.  Whether you realize it or not, it seems to that you are dealing with a woman who is honest and intelligent.  Don't be intimidated by such a woman.  Celebrate the fact that she's willing to show those sides of herself to you.    

She doesn't wish to waste your time or hers playing "games."   Too often men will try to use a formula when trying to date a lady.  That's wrong.  Each lady is different, so why not celebrate that uniqueness?  She's special, so let her be.  Don't try to make her fit a mold.  She knows that men and women are all different (hence, her telling her brother about the flowers).  You, too, must realize that, and I'm sure that on some level, you do.  

This sounds like a woman that many men would be more than happy to be involved with.  With her, you know where you stand and you know where she stands.  It sounds as if she accepts who you are as you are.  That will free you both to enjoy each other rather than spending time to try to remake yourself or the other person into what you think that they want.  

And, yes, she does know that there's a line that she mustn't cross.  You know that, too, so what's the problem there?  

Thank you for your response.

I like it that she lets me be myself but sometimes i want to surprise her with things and get a genuine emotion. In the begining of our relationship, i was not sure maybe I was doing anything right because she will just say "Aah, thanks" and she won't make a big deal about it. I don't like her being there, done that attitude or when she reads other people's meanings into what I do. I like her alot and I want it to work but I don't know if I can get past this. Us guys like to know we shak our girlfriends now and when I say I want to spend time with my friends, she should at least try and change my mind about it.

bawomolo:

guys with lots of female friends are either gay or shagging the friends on the down low

I know her brothers and their friends and none of them is gay bro. The friends don't look at her like that, our mutual friend who introduced us kept warning me that she is a good girl and if i mess up, he will kill me and true true she is a good girl.

Thank you for all you reply.

Poster


There is nothing wrong with having lots of female friends if u r a guy. . . . . .
I have lots of em as friend and i dont see how im obstructing other guys from dating them. . .
All u need to do is to step your game up bro. . .

takes two steps or work harder.
You need to study the girl,she should have 1 or 2 ways to impress her easily,take ur time n study her.
Its d rule of the game

I know her brothers and their friends and none of them is gay bro. The friends don't look at her like that, our mutual friend who introduced us kept warning me that she is a good girl and if i mess up, he will kill me and true true she is a good girl.

I need a good girl BRO n i like d challenge,But dont drop her number ere,i ll get it later

hmmmmh I don't think your topic has anything to do with your girlfriend. She sounds like someone who doesn't get bothered by little irritants concerned with relationships, some people are just naturally easy going, I have to add. But do not misuse her character as being passive or docile for such girls, you wouldn't want them to blow up in your face someday, you might not be able to handle her when she decides to display a little drama on you. I will advise you take her as she is

stillwater:

hmmmmh I don't think your topic has anything to do with your girlfriend. She sounds like someone who doesn't get bothered by little irritants concerned with relationships, some people are just naturally easy going, I have to add. But do not misuse her character as being passive or docile for such girls, you wouldn't want them to blow up in your face someday, you might not be able to handle her when she decides to display a little drama on you. I will advise you take her as she is

The reason i have the topic like that is because I think she sees what this guys do, so nothing trips her. They tell her everything, like what moves they used to get a girl and how she fell for it or how they yarn a girl who is angry with them. She also sees how they respond to girls who are disturbing them everyday. I don't want her to be on my neck but if she can show a little something, I don't know sef. I can really explain it. My advice to guys who have younger sisters or good friends who are girls, be careful what you say and do in front of them. E dey affect them oh.
That is all, J

EccentricJ:

Thank you for your response.

I like it that she lets me be myself but sometimes i want to surprise her with things and get a genuine emotion. In the begining of our relationship, i was not sure maybe I was doing anything right because she will just say "Aah, thanks" and she won't make a big deal about it. I don't like her being there, done that attitude or when she reads other people's meanings into what I do. I like her alot and I want it to work but I don't know if I can get past this. Us guys like to know we shak our girlfriends now and when I say I want to spend time with my friends, she should at least try and change my mind about it.



true true she is a good girl.

Thank you for all you reply.

You're more than welcome, sir!

If I may offer that, while you are uneasy about her reading the meaning of others into what you do, it seems to me that you're doing the very same thing to her. You're expecting her to respond in certain ways, but she doesn't always do that. This leaves you feeling uncomfortable. Please consider that whatever her response is, you must assume it to be genuine. Some people don't make "big deals" about the things that people do for them, but that does not imply that the deed is any less appreciated.

You say that there are things about which she should try to change your mind?! No, my friend, I think not. The fact that she doesn't shows that she respects you.

@olanajim:
My apologies for failing to thank you, earlier, for your very kind and gracious words!