Hello house,
What do you think is the best way to effectively turn down advances of the opposite sex without being rude or blunt and still being 'cool' (on good terms) with such a person. Especially when u have to (eg if he/she is ur boss, colleague, etc)

Say No politely,in your words and show it very well in your actions.

You could politely say that you into a very serious and promising relationship.

@mona: by actions do you mean totally keeping away for the perso,? Wat if dis isn't possible and ur mere presence triggers off wanting in the person?
@uboma:wat if the person already knows this(cld be married even) and just won't back off?

@House: not saying dis is a personal issue for me, just need to hear how best u would accept a rebuff. A direct NO, beating about the bush to wear off the other party, or what else wld work? Without creating u enemies all the time.

Just say 'NO'. Gaddemit. Just say 'NO'. Gaddemit.

it depends...are you in a relationship?

@ op, you just have to stand your ground and say NO. Do not say no and say yes through your actions. And pls do not let any man intimidate you in any way just because he wants to go in between your legs. There are better ways you can deal with sexual harassment in the work place.

@knowitall: I am. But I don't think dats d rizn for this post. Its more like finding a solution we all, male/female, to a recurring issue we have to face.
@uboma: those 'better ways' are what we are asking for in this topic. Pls share.

Well the beauty of living where i do is the fact that people can be held accountable for their actions. If you say no politely and they keep coming at you, you can report that person to the HR department after gathering enough evidence. If you don't have evidence like emails , recording of phone conversations, text messages, or witnesses then you can easily be fired because they will say you have no proof.

Seems like HR issues/power within companies in Nigeria are a bit more powerless most especially when it comes to managers or the company owner. Out here you can sue the owner of a company and still work there while you are in court. Anyway if i were in Nigeria and some person wont leave me a lone (if i were a woman) i would have my man get his friends and beat the snot outta the dude.

@omegared: really? Isn't dat too extreme? And we don't want to create enemies rmba?

Oh dear, does dis mean there's no hope, except prolly legislation(cld take ages here)? Do we have to then live with this? Or give up on our goals and live average lives? Or compromise?
Keep ur ideas coming House. U just might save a dream.

zoelife: @omegared: really? Isn't dat too extreme? And we don't want to create enemies rmba?

Oh dear, does dis mean there's no hope, except prolly legislation(cld take ages here)? Do we have to then live with this? Or give up on our goals and live average lives? Or compromise?
Keep ur ideas coming House. U just might save a dream.

Just heed the advise given by omega25red. Get enough incriminating evidence to prove that your superior or colleague is sexually harassing you. If u do not want to create enemies like u said, then u had better give in and stop whining here.

well, if you are in a relationship, you politely say thank you but im in a relationship...and let your body gesture and mannerism confirm what you are saying...that way you can still be on good terms...

But if he continues to "harass" you,...at that point, there's no need to be on good terms with him.....then you can just take the necessary actions for him to get your point....harassment is irritating to me...because I have a daughter.....

uboma:

Just heed the advise given by omega25red. Get enough incriminating evidence to prove that your superior or colleague is sexually harassing you. If u do not want to create enemies like u said, then u had better give in and stop whining here.

Abeg help me tell the woman

Poster i guess i kinda understand where you are coming from because most companies in Nigeria are a "boys club" where if you get someone in trouble he can easily spread the word to his other friends and company have have you black balled. Anyway get evidence and dont take that mess even if it means you getting fired or better yet just look for another job then tell everyone why you left and show the evidence.

...some guys will not just take 'NO' (no matter how polite) from a girl as answers, they believed every girl they come across must be 'a conquered territory' to those guys I say, not all 'territories are conquerable'

I'm a grandparent...

OR

My papa na winch for lagoon... Note: say all this with a charming smile and soothing voice, it will get 99.9% of them packing faster than you can blink

Goodluck!

omega25red: Well the beauty of living where i do is the fact that people can be held accountable for their actions. If you say no politely and they keep coming at you, you can report that person to the HR department after gathering enough evidence. If you don't have evidence like emails , recording of phone conversations, text messages, or witnesses then you can easily be fired because they will say you have no proof.

Seems like HR issues/power within companies in Nigeria are a bit more powerless most especially when it comes to managers or the company owner. Out here you can sue the owner of a company and still work there while you are in court. Anyway if i were in Nigeria and some person wont leave me a lone (if i were a woman) i would have my man get his friends and beat the snot outta the dude.

u funny.

"I have STDs"


Pros: He'll leave you alone

Con: He'll let the other cute homies know you're a "no go" area.

just with sense but next time, don't create a topic with this title. U made it sound as if u knew the answer

Be assertive in saying it and showing it by your actions. Avoid being aggressive. Any sane guy would get the memo.

Give them your fine sister!

Please please and please all dis una post dey make tinz hard for me. If I now zip down now the lady might politely close up. Please that place is very necesary to human health

Op

1st of all u need 2 ask d guy what he wants from you

A. Punnny
B. Dating
C. Courtship
D. Marriage

And if he wants (A. Punnny) u better give it 2 him since u re not a virgin.

So d both of u can go ur way & u will also rest & have peace of mind.

fresh_dude: Just say 'NO'. Gaddemit. Just say 'NO'. Gaddemit.

I wonder how hard that is my brother! Its as easy as it is spelt - 'NO'

You can then try to paint it and design it or sugar coat it with sweet words, but the message is passed when and when you said 'No'

@OP
If you mean NO as in have sex_ then just tell him straight to his face a BIG NO!

Question though:
Are you someone who has met a guy that wants sex but you do not know how or cannot say no to him?
OR
Are you someone who has a habit of having sex with any guy you see because you cant say no?
If you are the former, just say no to him and explain your core values about sex and stick to your decision. Also, do not be confusing to him. If you say you dont want to have sex but you keep making him Hot around you, that will just be sheer wickedness. Blue balls aint pretty. Talking from experience.
If you are the latter, forget about your past and look towards the future. It is not too late to becaome a 'born again virgin'


If your problem does not have to do with sex, just have a heart to heart talk with him about whatever decision you make and stick to it!

All you've to do is to analyse & know more about d the temperament of the person in question, if its obviously lucid to you that she's a choleric(i.e hot tempered), U'll hav to politely turn down the offer, bt if it's also succinctly pellucid that she happens to be an extrovert(a social type), then you'll hav to confront her and look seriously into eye nd let her know it won't out for d both of you..period!

just say mba

I think the best way to say no whatsoever advances is to confront the person with the word of God.

Get ur self a good ring,fix it on any of those significant fingers of your own desire & defend it to the core? That's all you need.

HIV


You will be left alone for ever!

zoelife: Hello house,
What do you think is the best way to effectively turn down advances of the opposite sex without being rude or blunt and still being 'cool' (on good terms) with such a person. Especially when u have to (eg if he/she is ur boss, colleague, etc)

My Dear if u know of any senior manager that is close to him just spill it to him and if he is not disturbed attempt
to bring the wife into the pix, i think that will change the face of things

[size=18pt]You can say: We can be friends[/size]