Eze Promoe: Wow, Ishi. That was nice. 3 shots in 1 update? We're getting there.

I have a dream that by this time next month, we'll be getting 10 shots in 1 update.
*kisses*

Amin, l'agbara Olorun! Oluwa lo se

brokoto: Anyway, about the story...

Chilo seems to represent a vast majority of the girls in out present society: relatively poor, they see men as super horn'y meal tickets and measure their relationships by how much material benefit they can accrue from it.

From her perspective in this story, I find it quite difficult to hate her. I just feel a profound sadness and I can only smh for the chilos of our society.

#good job ishi. See you next week.

Thank you for this profound analysis. See you tomorrow

#

opeoluwa2: Madam the madam!!!!!!
After a very long time?
Anyway take this "tha you" short for thank you.
I will give you "nk" when next you upate.
#Lol

Errr...right...

Ishilove:
Thank you for this profound analysis. See you tomorrow

I look like awilo logomba for ya eyes

Her brother s a real example of a learner.

I c trait ov a nobel prize winner in u ishilove....I hail thee

A classic.

Ishilove: Foxy, nu-well, Damex, Eze, Encored, lakeside4love, brokoto, naijababe, naptu and all, thanks for your patience.

Its not easy but we try. I dont what stays my hand whenever I want to give up and just Unfollow in frustation. You eventually do make it worth my wait. May your fountain of inspiration be daily refreshed, Ma

Thank you Larry, Dahkohgrin, I am humbled. I will keep striving to get better

Nu-well, I wish I could update as frequently as others, but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. A big amen to your prayer, I need it oooo!!

Damex,

.

Ishilove:
That's why I love ya! Mwaaaaaah!!

Ishi darling, thank you for the update

Not looking at a gift horse in the mouth o but i hope we won't be begging for the next update

naijababe:

Ishi darling, thank you for the update

Not looking at a gift horse in the mouth o but i hope we won't be begging for the next update

You won't, I promise. I'm already on page 3 (I am a frightfully slow typist)

Ishilove:
You won't, I promise. I'm already on page 3 (I am a frightfully slow typist)

Singing 'baby, baby ko ma roll'

Ishilove:
You won't, I promise. I'm already on page 3 (I am a frightfully slow typist)

sud i borrow u my fingers,though its a litu bit fleshy and long, just lyk d man in room 21. I hope u wont mind.

Damex333: sud i borrow u my fingers,though its a litu bit fleshy and long, just lyk d man in room 21. I hope u wont mind.

A 'little'? Park well jor

Hmmm. . . Chilo isn't just gunning for cash, she's also gunning for big dkkk!
Way to go girl!

Nice work ishi.

Mazi_Omenuko:

Chilo lost her virginity the moment she started poking her unmentionables with roll-on and gulder bottles, I made that clear at the early stage of this work.

@ishi, which one is "not going beyond the agreed point"? He actually inserted his d'kkk and didn't feel that natural reflex to push the hips and thrust the d'kk past a 'certain' region? This is hilarious! Why does chilo end up with those kind of men? Beats me!

ITBOMB is right afterall, 2hrs in a secluded place, with both being stark naked, and venturing into MouthAction If I no scatter your veegee to the extent that you will use super glue on it if you're still interested in being a virgin, I'd change my name to looser!

Lmao.
Ishi, weldone joor!

frank3.16:


i just wonder... i almost slapped the Fola of a guy from my laptop (How can a human b this annoying?)

Franky Frank? U too?

Foxy_Ultimate:
**I noticed sumfin sha d last time**

What?

Avicky, Mazi, Foxy, Thanks for following

Ishilove:
What?

Avicky, Mazi, Foxy, Thanks for following

Is that all u've got for us?
No update?

avicky:
Is that all u've got for us?
No update?

I will update this evening, God willing

update oooooooo......we are waiting ishi babe...hope you are not the Chilo hahahahahaha.....very interesting story

Am gradually gvn up

Ishilove:
I will update this evening, God willing

I hope so to.

*Strolls in, flops on couch, grabs popcorn and hums to self between mouthfuls 'I'll forever be chasing after YOU...' *

*Glances at clock at 5 minute intervals*

This is 12:30 am. And u claim to update during d winchy hours. Wey ur update now?
Besides, u broke a promise.
God knows ur address. Dazz all.

avicky:
I hope so to.

I am sure it's not yet evening for ur side?

Isilove wishes to sincerely apologize to her readers for her failure to upload today. Due to the nature of her job, tiredness overwhelmed her when she decided to take a short nap. Please bear with her and all questions and complaint should be directed towards me.


Avicky, I must sincerely tell you that Ishilove wished above all things to update but nature has a way of playing man. PM me for details.



You choping pop corn, don't worry, it is on the house, do endeavour to return the wrist watch to the gate man. Thanks...

Hi Eustacia Vye, sup? You are damn pretty gurl. Gaddem. Are you black American? You looks American. Plx rply. Your boi, Lanre007.


Chilo made a face and closed the message box. She had been getting dozens of these kinds of messages ever since Kodi registered her on Prodigits days back. The messages came in various forms, ranging from the well-constructed to the disgracefully incomprehensible. The senders murdered syntax, invented new English words and broke every rule she knew in English language. There were some well written ones, but they were few and far in-between.

Where did they get all these people from?? she wondered. They all thought she was very pretty, despite her ghastly appearance in the photo that adorned her profile. She wondered what they saw. If she were a guy, she wouldn’t look at her profile picture twice.

It didn’t occur to her that beauty is subjective. Yawning with boredom, she opened the next message and quickly skimmed through it. More gobbledygook. This one read like incantations. She hissed and tossed the phone on the bed. It hit the mattress and slid off, hitting the floor and disintegrating.

Cussing, she jumped down and quickly gathered the pieces of the phone. The battery here, the sim card there, the back cover in a dark recess of the room. This wouldn’t the first time the phone was scattering. Mother had given her a stern warning to be more mindful on how she handled the new phone; otherwise she would find herself back with her ‘kpalasa’ N 3310.

“You didn’t spend your money on it, that’s why you are being very careless with it” said Mother as Chilo crawled on her knees searching frantically for the runaway sim card, the first time it happened. She was terrified that the sim card would get damaged. She wasn’t exactly in the position to spend four hundred naira buying a new sim, so the sim had better come out from wherever it had gone to hide. Thankfully, she had found it hidden under a half chewed paper left in a corner by the household rat.

Now, the phone had fallen again. ‘I really have to be careful’ she thought. ‘The last thing I need is going back to Paul to give excuses that the phone he bought for me has entered voice mail. It will be totally inexcusable’.

Paul could be very harsh when he wanted to be, and he wasn’t a very pleasant person when he got that way. He had called her a couple of times since she came home. On one occasion, after a brief chat and just as he was about to ring off, he had hesitated, as if he wanted to say something. Chilo second guessed him and quickly cut the call after a breezy “talk to you later!” Mr Man, save the ‘I love yous’ for another time, she thought with bemusement as her thumb hit the red button.

Having reassembled the strewn parts of hapless handset, she restarted it. While she waited for it to boot, her eyes moved round her room and came to rest on Andrela’s shoe rack. She had plans for the shoes, though Andi must never guess because she was bound to chew Chilo’s head to bits. “Mess with the shoes, you die!” she had threatened Chilo on more than one occasion.

Well, we shall see about that. Wont we, dear Andi?

When the phone was ready, she logged into Prodigits. From what Kodi said, the site could not be compared to Facebook, but it sufficed. Everyone seemed to be on Facebook, which in itself was suspicious. Who knew, the devil and his agents were probably gathering everyone’s data via the site, to be used on that big day when the righteous would leave the sinners behind to get the mark or face the music. No, Facebook would not swallow her. Hell no.

In the time between the disintegration and the time it took for her to reassemble the phone, three messages had entered her inbox. The first was from KirkMaster Diggy Dawg. It read:


You this yellow woman, tell mummy to put my beans inside flask so dat that little fif will not finish it for me.

They were having beans and plantain for dinner that evening, Kodi and Oliver were great lovers of beans, and this love brought them constantly at loggerheads with each other because once Oliver was finished with his share, he usually roamed to and fro the house, seeking whose share to devour. Kodi had gone to visit some friends, but it was pretty obvious where his heart truly lay.

She opened the second message. A certain Latzio Creamy was eagerly seeking her acquaintance. In just one paragraph, he informed her that he was a South African, he was rich, he had a fleet of cars, owned his private business, was well travelled and was in need of a wife to share all his wealth with. Would she be so kind as to drop her phone number? All these in bastardised English.

Mildly amused, she clicked on his profile. The face in the picture greatly resembled that of Chika, the guy in the compound next to hers who sold refrigerators in Alaba market. The guy was standing beside a hibiscus plant and he was pointing to the flowers in his pose.

“Ewu hausa {Hausa goat}” she muttered under her breath, and closed the message.


Hello Eustacia. I find your photo very intriguing. Very few girls can have the audacity to bare their beauty in its rare, natural form. It speaks so much of you.

Please accept my friend request because I would very much like to get to know you better.

went the third message. Chilo looked at the user name of the sender. Jah Knight.

She clicked on the profile but the photo depicted a camera on a tripod. Since the message was well written and the user seemed to be intelligent, she decided to accept his request.

From that day onwards, Eustacia Vye and Jah Knight kept up a steady flow of correspondence and they chatted on a regular basis. Knight was very witty, charming and interesting, and soon enough Chilo soon found herself developing a crush on him. Chili crushed easily. Her earliest crushes were Michael Jackson, Daniel Amokachi, Timothy Claypole in 'Rent-a- Ghost', Osi of the huge, meaty lips on former neighbour's son(the neighbourhood kids secretly nicknamed him ete lombolo'), in no particular order.

Each time the pop-up box bearing his name appeared on her phone screen, her heart danced with delight. So much so that when he asked her for her number, she didn’t hesitate before giving it to him.

He called her some hours after she dropped her number in his inbox. When she heard his voice, she was immediately mesmerised. The voice on the other line was soft and calm. Though she would never admit it to anyone, she had a weakness for soft spoken men. She knew he was the one before he spoke. She could just feel it.

“How are you, Eustacia?” the caller asked quietly.

“I’m good, Knight. And for the record, my name is Chilo, not Eustacia.” She realised that she had unconsciously lowered her voice to match his.

“Chilo . . .” he dragged her name in his tongue, as if savouring the feel of it. She didn’t know why, but she it made her feel funny. He pronounced her name as if he was sucking on toffee.

“Nice name” he continued. “Mine is Emmanuel.”

“Emmanuel. Okay. So why then do you call yourself ‘Jah Knight?”

“Why do you call yourself Eustacia Vye?”

“The same reason why you call yourself Jah Knight”

“Why do you think I call myself Jah Knight?”

“Dunno. You tell me.”

“Jah is Jehovah. So I’m Jehovah’s knight.”

“O, so you are catholic?”

He chuckled. “Jehovah’s Witness for life, baby.”

She loved the way he said ‘baby’. Get a grip on yourself, Chi. You are getting carried away!

“That's interesting. So you go around evangelising?”

“It is our mandate to evangelise as Christians. We will not be ashamed of the gospel, said Paul in the book of Romans.”

Chilo was impressed. He seemed to be well grounded in the Word, just like most Witnesses seemed to be.

They chatted a little longer, and then he rang off.

For the rest of the day, Chilo found herself daydreaming about Emmanuel, aka, Jah Knight.