flow1759:

hahahahahahahahaha Guy you make me laugh no be small.

OR SO I TOT

. Oya dey flow dey go. Nothing do you.

flow1759:


Ara o biala gi?---------IBO
Shey owapa?------YORUBA
Someone help with Hausa
Are you ok?-------ENGLISH
You well so?------PIDGIN

Lol! Thats on a lighter note.

But seriously, Omoh mehn! I no understand wetin you write oh.

Hauka kwo bori? Funkified Hausa ... Bt come oh ...sebi u de do soldier work fr north? ... or so I tot. I jst hope say dem never carry u go Borno, Yobe or even Adamawa sha..?

flow1759:


Ara o biala gi?---------IBO
Shey owapa?------YORUBA
Someone help with Hausa
Are you ok?-------ENGLISH
You well so?------PIDGIN

Lol! Thats on a lighter note.

But seriously, Omoh mehn! I no understand wetin you write oh.

Sorry. I mean you are a very clever guy. You have street smarts. "Your survival skills no bi small."
And to answer your question: I don dey colo. The school year is finished in 2 weeks. My students are driving me crazy.

texanomaly:

Sorry. I mean you are a very clever guy. You have street smarts. "Your survival skills no bi small."
And to answer your question: I don dey colo. The school year is finished in 2 weeks. My students are driving me crazy.

我喜欢你

Flow your frnds Ade and MOPO come visit us for lodge yesterday, them even follow us eat rice nd beans.

Padi mi ton je flow,joor o,erin yi ti po ju ooo,ma so mi di werey sibi bayi na

Habybullah: Hauka kwo bori? Funkified Hausa ... Bt come oh ...sebi u de do soldier work fr north? ... or so I tot. I jst hope say dem never carry u go Borno, Yobe or even Adamawa sha..?

Forget that "BARRACK BOY", it wasn't fully the real me.

Am working in Lagos, and am not a soldier. My Dad is a serving Army officer sha.

Well, a barrack boy is more or less a soldier.


BTW my fans, i say make i ask una oh.

Do Nigerians appreciate Books that blends Pidgin English and English Language?

Do they read them?


You see, because this story is non fictional, that is why i am telling it as it unfolded, but i am sure if i give fiction a trial, i will learn from the mistakes i made in this story, and i would improve.


I have so many fictional stories running through my mind right now(stories wey make sense oh, wey go make sense pass this one sef). I plan writing and publishing them, that is after someone proofread them for me.

Infact i have already put pen on paper by starting to write the manuscript of a fiction i know would be a thriller.

What are my changes?

How do i go about it?

I need the MATURED advice of my fans. Pls.

STILL I FLOW.



PS: That one no mean say "MAN WEY DEY REASON" don dey finish oh. Tori still plenty well well.

STILL I FLOW again.

Flow my mannest man,abeg do one tin for me;E-mail me the manuscript abeg i tak OLUWA beg u
STILL I FOLLOW U

Chimaritoponcho: Flow my mannest man,abeg do one tin for me;E-mail me the manuscript abeg i tak OLUWA beg u
STILL I FOLLOW U

one word
ole

Flow.......there's no harm in trying something new.
If u notice ma dude, the reading culture in Nigeria has dropped real bad. So me thinks it could b attributted to ppl getting tired all dis plenty oyinmbo grammer for book. So wat if u mix oyinmbo with pidgen? U nor see how ppl just plenty wey d gbadu ur tori? Dat na cos u fuse grammer with street pidgen.
So me I believe say if u mix grammer with street pidgen, guy u fit come bring back d reading culture cos ppl go only read wetin dem fit connect with. Me I dey already place order for dat book wen e fallout.
Still u flow bro. Good work ma man.

. My Ooº°˚ my!! FLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Been following this thread frm 01.. i jas finished evrytin nw. Jeez! Flow!! Yo 1 gud writer Ooº°˚ *lyk u said.. U read d wrong course in skul #lol# yo funny.. Intriguing.. *short of words.. Thumbs up bro #abeg post again sha shap# ;-D hope say u dan change Ooº°˚

Try it and I can bet it that you won't regret ever doing so. Mark my words

ℓ̊ '⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏ a new user on nairaland,§☺̴̩̩̥̩̩̩ ℓ̊ '⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏ still new †Φ some of d sections. But ℓ̊ must confess D̶̲̥̅̊ª†̥s dis Flow of a guy *̣̣̣̣̣̣̥*̣̣̣̣̣̣̥is*̣̣̣̣̣̣̥*̣̣̣̣̣̣̥ a fantastic/hillarious writer. Flow kip it up,ℓ̊ L♥√ع dis a̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ ℓ̊ don subscribe b D̶̲̥̅̊ª†̥s o.

@pweetydhiva, U̶̲̥̅̊ A̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ welcum †Φ flow's family

Cold faya: Flow.......there's no harm in trying something new.
If u notice ma dude, the reading culture in Nigeria has dropped real bad. So me thinks it could b attributted to ppl getting tired all dis plenty oyinmbo grammer for book. So wat if u mix oyinmbo with pidgen? U nor see how ppl just plenty wey d gbadu ur tori? Dat na cos u fuse grammer with street pidgen.
So me I believe say if u mix grammer with street pidgen, guy u fit come bring back d reading culture cos ppl go only read wetin dem fit connect with. Me I dey already place order for dat book wen e fallout.
Still u flow bro. Good work ma man.

Thank you. Make una no vex say i never update oh. I just dey come 4rm work.

Welcome, hw work today?

Am bac again

flow1759:

Forget that "BARRACK BOY", it wasn't fully the real me.

Am working in Lagos, and am not a soldier. My Dad is a serving Army officer sha.

Well, a barrack boy is more or less a soldier.


BTW my fans, i say make i ask una oh.

Do Nigerians appreciate Books that blends Pidgin English and English Language?

Do they read them?


You see, because this story is non fictional, that is why i am telling it as it unfolded, but i am sure if i give fiction a trial, i will learn from the mistakes i made in this story, and i would improve.


I have so many fictional stories running through my mind right now(stories wey make sense oh, wey go make sense pass this one sef). I plan writing and publishing them, that is after someone proofread them for me.

Infact i have already put pen on paper by starting to write the manuscript of a fiction i know would be a thriller.

What are my changes?

How do i go about it?

I need the MATURED advice of my fans. Pls.

STILL I FLOW.



PS: That one no mean say "MAN WEY DEY REASON" don dey finish oh. Tori still plenty well well.

STILL I FLOW again.

bross... Anywhr I see ur book, I go rush buy am one time!!! No b WAEC u wan write now... So ur audience need understand that ur appproach is diff. All u need is a good publisher that can do justice 2 ur work. One of the things that makes ur stories intresting is ur writing style! Its something an average man on d street could relate to n feel part of. Infact sometimes when I read ur updates, I no de feel like say na read I de read I de feel lyk say I follow u n biggie dem sitdown.having said that, I think u should read "the palmwine drinkard" by Amos Tutuola. That book ws even a recomended txt fr 3hundred level litrature students way back in my schl days. Bros try read d book e go give u confidence abt ur writing style. BESTA luck sire

"guy you video that thing well so? You zoom am?" I asked as I and Man sat under the tree. "i zoom am na, make i play am for you" Man replied and started playing the B'lue film. Or rather L'esbian film.

As i watched the film for a while, suddenly my d'ick rose unlike when i was watching it Live. Maybe it was because Man played it with a high volume. Or maybe not.


We were watching so keenly that we never saw someone coming.


"what are you guys watching?" It was Pkc.

The Movie, or rather Action film was still playing loudly.

"nothing" I answered.

Nothing, but the m'oaning from the phone was loudly heard.

"why dis phone volume loud like this na?" I said to myself.

"I say what are you watching?" He asked again.

As i remembered what Pkc preached to us at the morning devotion that morning about telling the truth always, i told myself it was best i told him the truth.

"B'lue ......................" I wanted to say B'lue film, but Man tapped me at my back signaling me not to. So i said; "Blue band" Instead.

"what is blue band?" Pkc asked. And i prayed for a lie to instantly fall from heaven. The best lie.

I initially thought of saying i needed to eat Bread and Blue band. But that wasn't an award winning lie, i needed an award winning lie.

"ehnnnnn, I love the blue band of your boxers" I stammered.

Lucky enough, his boxers had this fine blue elastic waist band.


"Pkc we dey watch Champions league for phone" Man lied without thinking. Or better still, his a'nus did the thinking.

"you are watching Champions league and am hearing that sound, is that the sound of Champions league match?" Pkc queried.

"yes Pkc, na Chinese Champions league" Man answered.

"Man!! Which one be Chinese Champions league again?" I nearly said.


"and what is this thing swollen in your trouser" Pkc pointed at my d'ick that was at attention.

"which kin question be this na? Okay na Fish, na Big fish" I nearly said.

"Pkc naso the trouser dey, naso dem design am" I answered.

And Pkc laughed his way out saying; "may God save you people from I'mmorality".

"Amen oh!!" we chorused.

"but why you no stop the video to dey play na?" I said to Man after Pkc left.

"i dey press am e no gree stop to play na" Man replied and we continued watching the Movie.

As we saw Mama Ejima left Kate's room walking towards her room, we stopped watching the Movie and started whistling. I think i was whistling a Rap song while Man was whistling Hip hop.

She eyeballed us and walked into her room.

"r'ubbish woman, so your husband wey be Boxer no fit f''uck you well, mumu woman, na ur fellow woman you see to F''uck" I was beginning to dislike her. And Kate also.


About 2minutes later, i saw her walked towards us.

"go give me that phone" she said as she stood in front of me.

"yawa don gas oh, but how she take know say we video them na" I said to myself.

"no be me hold the phone oh" I cried out.

"na who com hold am?" She queried, as i tried moving my legs to see if they were still alive or dead, incase i needed them to run. Or raned.

"na Man oh" I pointed at Man.

"your Father Flow, Mama Ejima no be me hold any phone oh, Flow you dey mad" Man attacked.

"that mean say this woman na w'itch oh, how she take know say we dey video them?" I asked myself as i stood up to run. Man stood up also.

"where una wan go?" Mama Ejima queried.

"nowhere, we wan stretch our leg, because we don sidon since, so we no go get muscle pull" I answered.

I was now scared of Mama Ejima because W'itchcraft read in her eyes. I saw fire in her eyes also. Or so i tot.


Suddenly, Man ran, and as i was about to run, she grabbed my shirt saying; "u no dey go anywhere, una don go sell my phone abi, una must bring my phone oh".

The beautiful Mama Ejima was more beautiful when angry. So beautiful that i almost k'issed her sweet lips.


"but na you i give the phone na, you be thief oh" she was blessing me with her Saliva as she yelled at me.

The Saliva of such a beautiful lady could serve as Honey to my Tea. A Tea i would gladly drink to stupor.

A closer view of her beautiful face reminded me of the portrait of "The Mona Lisa" by Leonardo Da Vinci.

"which phone you give me?" I inquired.


"my Phone wey i give you make you charge for una house na" She answered.

That was when my dull brain recalled she had earlier given me her phone to charge in our room, oweing to the fact that the electrical Junction box in their room was faulty.


"see as you let me fear, i think say na another thing you dey talk, leave my shirt jor, your phone dey, make i go bring am" I said and she let go of me.

Anyone for tonight? I.e another update?

See guilty conscience. Still flow flows along.
Keep it going

flow1759:

Forget that "BARRACK BOY", it wasn't fully the real me.

Am working in Lagos, and am not a soldier. My Dad is a serving Army officer sha.

Well, a barrack boy is more or less a soldier.


BTW my fans, i say make i ask una oh.

Do Nigerians appreciate Books that blends Pidgin English and English Language?

Do they read them?


You see, because this story is non fictional, that is why i am telling it as it unfolded, but i am sure if i give fiction a trial, i will learn from the mistakes i made in this story, and i would improve.


I have so many fictional stories running through my mind right now(stories wey make sense oh, wey go make sense pass this one sef). I plan writing and publishing them, that is after someone proofread them for me.

Infact i have already put pen on paper by starting to write the manuscript of a fiction i know would be a thriller.

What are my changes?

How do i go about it?

I need the MATURED advice of my fans. Pls.

STILL I FLOW.



PS: That one no mean say "MAN WEY DEY REASON" don dey finish oh. Tori still plenty well well.

STILL I FLOW again.

Good to know you want to improve.

IMO, i would say

Firstly, your audience are Nigerians who understands pigdin and slangs, your explaining every single slang on your write up makes it look patronizing.

2/ More beaf on high point

your banging of ifeoma, most folks i believe, would have wanted more details, that was the first sex on the write up, you didnt milk it at all, neither did you when you spied on kate, those scenes lacked the desired build up that would have elicited excitement.

same when kate and mama ejima came together. you might not like lez shows, but many of your audience do, you are not writing for yourself hence you should have described in more details what transpired, their moans, their actions, who came first, how their bodies were undulating under their passion.

The fight scene.
Even here you didnt milk it, a good description of the thugs would have defined the fight better. highlighting their scars, smell and body built gives better definition to the characters and ultimately the fight.


Try avoiding use same adjective to qualify every effect/issue.
you have described Kate as the most beautiful thing under the moon, same with the church girl, ifeoma, and the market woman.


COHERENT
At times you write like folks did live your life with you, you narrate an event that occurred, leave it unfinished and never relate it with subsequent events

eg; when biggy sold the laptop and bought you guys drinks, the owners confronted him and that was it. you ended it abruptly. folks would naturally wonder
did biggy own up to the theft ?
did they beat up biggy ?
how did he wriggle himself out of it ?

it was an important event to define the character Biggy; is he simply a pick pocket with no brains or is he skilled enough to lie his way out or negotiate a way out.

with your exam chips, you left out your trip to the refuse dump, however the subsequent narrations did tell you found them, cos you took them into the exam hall, That was good, but it is only the one time you have linked your different events properly.


don't dwell so much on events with no high point and not having any importance to the story line, eg the pooing bits.



But damn it, what a life you have lived. you have the one thing every writer cherishes, Events/scenarios- something to draw inspiration from.


In conclusion,

Take a pause and define a story-line for the remaining part of this write-up,
find ways to link different scenes- even if it means tweaking the real life story,
think of what note to end it on,
cos at the time being it has a feel of a dairy than any intelligent colligation of events. Let alone a story.

macjive01:

Good to know you want to improve.

IMO, i would say

Firstly, your audience are Nigerians who understands pigdin and slangs, your explaining every single slang on your write up makes it look patronizing.

2/ More beaf on high point

your banging of ifeoma, most folks i believe, would have wanted more details, that was the first sex on the write up, you didnt milk it at all, neither did you when you spied on kate, those scenes lacked the desired build up that would have elicited excitement.

same when kate and mama ejima came together. you might not like lez shows, but many of your audience do, you are not writing for yourself hence you should have described in more details what transpired, their moans, their actions, who came first, how their bodies were undulating under their passion.

The fight scene.
Even here you didnt milk it, a good description of the thugs would have defined the fight better. highlighting their scars, smell and body built gives better definition to the characters and ultimately the fight.


Try avoiding use same adjective to qualify every effect/issue.
you have described Kate as the most beautiful thing under the moon, same with the church girl, ifeoma, and the market woman.


COHERENT
At times you write like folks did live your life with you, you narrate an event that occurred, leave it unfinished and never relate it with subsequent events

eg; when biggy sold the laptop and bought you guys drinks, the owners confronted him and that was it. you ended it abruptly. folks would naturally wonder
did biggy own up to the theft ?
did they beat up biggy ?
how did he wriggle himself out of it ?

it was an important event to define the character Biggy; is he simply a pick pocket with no brains or is he skilled enough to lie his way out or negotiate a way out.

with your exam chips, you left out your trip to the refuse dump, however the subsequent narrations did tell you found them, cos you took them into the exam hall, That was good, but it is only the one time you have linked your different events properly.


don't dwell so much on events with no high point and not having any importance to the story line, eg the pooing bits.



But damn it, what a life you have lived. you have the one thing every writer cherishes, Events/scenarios- something to draw inspiration from.


In conclusion,

Take a pause and define a story-line for the remaining part of this write-up,
find ways to link different scenes- even if it means tweaking the real life story,
think of on what note to end it on,
cos at the time being it has a feel of a dairy than any intelligent colligation of events. Let alone a story.

Thanks.

But note this; I didn't describe all beautiful Ladies with the same phrase like you said.

I also musn't tell the scars and smell of a tout na. Don't you think it would be saying the Irrelevant things? Morealso, how could you see scars at night?

And the Bigie part you said. Since Flow is the one telling the story and not Bigie, and Bigie came back home unharmed, why would Flow tell what happened to Bigie when he wasn't there. And Bigie never told him. I think there are some details that are better left not said.

You said i haven't decribed Bigie's character as a pickpocket and looter, haba! The same Bigie that i have been saying steals better than Anini? the same Bigie i have been saying has an award in stealing? HABA!

Know this: that that laptop part was tragedic(is there a word like tragedic?) initially doesn't mean it ended tragedic. You be guy na, put urself in Bigie's shoes.

That is my style of writing, I allow my readers put theirselves in the shoes of every character.

But for other things you stated, you are right. I will improve.

Thanks once more.

.

Foxy_Vista:

Who is Larry Sun?

Is that the name of the guy that came to dispose the waste in my sewage?

Guy, Get A Life. Flow, You're Good...Really Good. Unlike This Kid (When I Say 'Kid' I Mean 'A Young Goat'); With All His Acidulated Sciolists And Balderdashing Decadents, Dizzy With His Own Intellectual Altitude But Constituting A Significant Nuisance To Every Literary Impression. Quite Revolting In The Extreme, Actually. Ew!

Larry-Sun:
Guy, Get A Life. Flow, You're Good...Really Good. Unlike This Kid (When I Say 'Kid' I Mean 'A Young Goat'); With All His Acidulated Sciolists And Balderdashing Decadents, Dizzy With His Own Intellectual Altitude But Constituting A Significant Nuisance To Every Literary Impression. Quite Revolting In The Extreme, Actually. Ew!

Haba

Larry-Sun:
Guy, Get A Life. Flow, You're Good...Really Good. Unlike This Kid (When I Say 'Kid' I Mean 'A Young Goat'); With All His Acidulated Sciolists And Balderdashing Decadents, Dizzy With His Own Intellectual Altitude But Constituting A Significant Nuisance To Every Literary Impression. Quite Revolting In The Extreme, Actually. Ew!

who is larry referring 2 as 'kid'?