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Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by wilybabe(f): 12:01pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
@OP sumtimes issues like dis are spiritual. It could be the spirit of a strong man or a spiritual husband who don't want to share her wit anyone. If u talk to her and still you dont know wat the problem is then u need to take her for deliverance and also keep praying for her. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 12:04pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
debrief08: Sadly what I have come to realise is that when women want to get married they fit into your "standard" of "wife material" you managed to crystallize my marriage fears in one paragraph. I once dated a woman like the above... i could get away with absolutely anything while dating. while that was fun, i couldnt help but think marrying her would be like unleashing the devil i knew lurked inside. A few months later i bailed... the torrent of abuse from her after was shocking. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by chienyem(f): 12:04pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Have u cheated on her before thinking she is not aware.Search urself well and be sincere. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by dabrake(m): 12:06pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Doncolio: Take a deep breath, then follow this few steps.nonsense. Well that's for those who see marriage as a life committment. Marriage should be treated as a social contract. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by BlackPeni5: 12:09pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Seems most people dnt really understand the OP's situation. A vacation will not solve d wahahala. Maybe she'll complain that the location was too cheap or too expensive. Like the OP clearly stated, what she wants is total control...i'v seen many cases like this. Soon she'll destroy the relationship between him and his family and friends, then she'll tell him how and when to spend his money, where to go and where not to go. From the OPs tone, he seems like a soft person. Sum1 who doesn't like wahala and she's taking advantage of it. The Ops wife was either pretending dduring courtship or she has been listening to advice from the wrong people. Either way, marriage is not a do or die affair...if u risk living a miserable life then u can call it quits. You also have a choice of giving her control over ur life in order to have peace. However u must first try very hard to understand the root of the problem through dialogue and being more observant. U had an agreement to get married, u must also have an agreement to sustain it or terminate it. 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by krap(m): 12:09pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Hello Okon.Akpan, I am really sympathetic to your case.Marriage is an institution established by God and ONLY him can find solutions bedeviling your marriage right now;you cannot take a faulty Nokia phone to a Blackberry repair man 'cos he will only make matters worse.That said since you mentioned that your woes started after the marriage,i think the problem was that you didn't really get to know your wife while you were dating/courting. I would have said that i subscribe to DonColio's advice but that might not change anything.I believe you have to seek your Maker in prayers to set things right.Your marriage foundation is faulty.Minimize third-party involvement as you try to settle but if this is impossible,seek spiritual counsel. Ordinarily,the easy way out is through separation but i won't subscribe to this either.I believe you want to make your marriage work so roll up your sleeves and put the devil to shame.God be with you. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 12:11pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
dabrake: nonsense. Well that's for those who see marriage as a life committment. Marriage should be treated as a social contract. which is probably why most marriages are a sham today. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 12:12pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Dude you need to put some fun in your marriage.I think your woman is not happy because you are never around.I know you have to work and provide for your family but women likes it more when they have there man around.You guys need to have fun now when you still young.Find a place for jokes in your life too,so you guys can be laughing together instead of fighting all the time.. Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by yabadabado: 12:15pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
in the period of infatuation, we are think our partner are without fault..but you know better. marriage is a call to manage and serve as a slave would to a master. broooos deal with it as u do on one of your oil rig. AGAIN...U SEEM TO THINK IT IS ALL YOUR WIFE FAULT...bro try and not to forget about yours too. DO NOT FOlLOW THIS STEPS PLIX CUS IT WONT FLIX UR BUT TRY Go back to where it all began.... Forgive and recognise her fault and let her know that what she is doing is pushing you away(as it is happening..don't wait till one day when you will properly "show her" or leave her (u will do this eventually even though at this point, you think you love her more)) .forgive my badt punctuation..na my ingrish teacher fault. AGAIN ..do you do your "home work well well" every man will say yes but some of this women don't "climax" at all or as much as they would want to. it not about 2hrs alomo bitters-induced sex (pardon me)..have u ever taken her to cloud 1..2..3..4. if you do..then invest in new BED SPRING or WATER BED.. cooperative money no be your problem noow ..spend this money in the right place..ooshe Get some good role models for yourself (matured couples that are easily reacable) Turn your phone off when u are with her FINALLY BROS..MARRIAGE COUN..SELLING sell pass gala for traffic oh...the success of your union is a function of your need ..work it serious and GOD BLESSIX ..lest i forget..bros if we kiddnapp u ..this woman will wise up now now..hahaha just jokin. NO MIND ME PLIX 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Oshiite: 12:16pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
If u think she ll change ,then u are a dreamer,it can only get worse because u are allowing,stamp ur feet down and call her bluff,ignore her when she starts,dont come back home when u are off shore or onshore ,i dont even know which is which, u can even pretend theres someone else,we dont value wot we have until there competition,u sound like ur too soft,i tell u,am a woman and we dont cherish wimps,all the best 8 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by successking: 12:17pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
If you love her and want to keep the marriage, then be patient with her, don't respond to the silly things she does i.e. an eye for an eye and pray to God for divine intervention. Things could get better. Bless you 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by butta(m): 12:22pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Black Peni5: Seems most people dnt really understand the OP's situation. A vacation will not solve d wahahala. Maybe she'll complain that the location was too cheap or too expensive. Like the OP clearly stated, what she wants is total control...i'v seen many cases like this. Soon she'll destroy the relationship between him and his family and friends, then she'll tell him how and when to spend his money, where to go and where not to go.thank you ... |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by onoja12: 12:25pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
two choices t.b.j or a second wife choice is yours or na death get u soon |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by eagleeye2: 12:26pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
donlyone: Bros when it comes to this kind of matter, women are better than us men. If that guy tries to assert his authority forcefully, I tell you he will not make much headway. I have had a similar experience in my relationship, it took some talking and begging and promises (even when I know I won't fulfill all) for her to come back to her senses. Today we are happy again. Op, dialogue still remain the best way to resolve this. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Borgias(f): 12:26pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
somtin most hv caused it ... she cant jus start acting dat way. mayb she caught u cheating, jus take ur time nd ask her wat d prob is... |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 12:27pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
The more patient a man is, and the more tolerant, and conciliatory and 'decent' he is, the more likely his wife is to constitute herself into a ruthless she-devil. I have noticed that the no-nonsense men generally have the ideal wives, i.e., women who would shut the eff up and do what they are told. I don't think I would tolerate one tenth of the behaviour you just described here. I guess she is emboldened to come up with more BS by the soft way you have been dealing with her, and by your conciliatory approach to her crap. Push her out of the damn house back to her parents' house. If she stays there for a month or two, and still doesn't learn from her mother how to be a decent wife (the old-fashioned, traditional way), then she should not bother to return to your house. Thousands of nubile and eligible women are fasting on mountains from Isale-Oshin to Ajaokuta, praying to find a well-to-do husband like you to call their own. They would be more than happy to replace this bitch. Thankfully, you have just one child so far. Dash her that one and prepare your sperm-bank to shoot more into the wombs of more fertile and subservient women that are lining up to replace the exiting bitch. Nonsense. 19 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Reference(m): 12:29pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Your courtship was too short to properly determine her suitability. Now that's past all you can and should do is to adapt. More complex ways exist to deal with this situation but start with the basics. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Finestlex(m): 12:30pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Okon.akpan:. Brotherly, to the best of my knowledge, marriage no be beans. It's only when you get married that you'll know the true colour of your spouse. Marriage is all about "compliments" and not competition. There are challenges in every marriage. Sit her down and trash out the problem. Divorce is not an option here. The vow was and it's still "for better for worse" Learn to manage her. Life is all about growth and experiences. The firewood of this world is for only those who can take heart. Pray about this more often. See your marriage counsellor 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 12:31pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
pro01: The more patient a man is, and the more tolerant, and conciliatory and 'decent' he is, the more likely his wife is to constitute herself into a ruthless she-devil. I have noticed that the no-nonsense men generally have the ideal wives, i.e., women who would shut the eff up and do what they are told. i agree. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by goshen26: 12:34pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
You think you are in the midst of under 18 colleagues, we are discussing serious matter, you are talking rubBISH, you might be over 18, but your comment look under under age. Smh YoungGame: Dear Mr. Akpan. YoungGame: Dear Mr. Akpan. YoungGame: Dear Mr. Akpan. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Geesunny: 12:36pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Bro ok,are you sure this has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction. Try and talk with her in that direction. You never can tell with women. It shall be well. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by jakesund(m): 12:36pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
tell her you think you've also lost the feelings you have for her and u want a DIVORCE that madness in her will flee with immediate effect .women tend to act crazy when given too much attention and control .if u don't act now it'll only get worse. WAKE UP AND TAKE CHARGE can anyone please give me a cogent reason to get married . cuz all i see is people's lives getting messed up after taking a walk down that dreadful ONE WAY road called MARRIAGE. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by goshen26: 12:37pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Borgias: somtin most hv caused it ... she cant jus start acting dat way. mayb she caught u cheating, jus take ur time nd ask her wat d prob is...see lady's talk, only few of you are not always shallow thinker |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by kokosheen(m): 12:39pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
OP, I have a quick question: When did her behavioral change start? During pregnancy or after delivery I know we men tend to think in different wavelengths to women but we should try and understand them a little better. In my opinion, you wife might be suffering from Postpartum depression (PPD) and there's a thread on NL that deals extensively with it: https://www.nairaland.com/1073248/postpartum-depression-what-need-know. I'm surprised that the OP of that thread has been here and she didn't pick any of the points you made to correlate with PPD. My opinion, I might be wrong. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Geophem(m): 12:47pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
bro, sorry for ds bt dis is wt actually happend: 1. u ar too soft yl datn her overlookn her mistake, and faild to control her: 2. u make are feel too important, so she sees it as if u ar lucky to av her 3: u faild to realise datn is short tym yl marriage is everlastn, as such reflectn of true xters. 4: u gave too much in d datn process wdout her contributn little or non 5: u faild to pray 6: u never realised marriage is for beta for worst. sorry bro u are experiencn d worst part of marriage now, take hrt. BUT........... u still av ur lyf to urself if u die coz of a woman today, many of dm will pee on ur grave. SO....... wisen up, and concentrate on ur future, expectn d worst d marriage might collapse because she never loved u.......... 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by oluagness(m): 1:06pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Questions for you Please. Is your mother in-law still with her husband? Have you ever told your in-laws anything about her? Take this step: call her mother in her presence and tell her that her daughter is asking for divorce. Tell her that she should come and take her daughter as she is no more interested in the marriage. I can assure you that you will get solution to this problem. Meanwhile, the solution may be divorce if your mother in-law is supporting her or total change if she wants her daughter to remain in your life. Please never allow her to over shadow you otherwise her action and nagging nature will create fear in you, this will turn you to woman and she will be in total control. Be wise. May God help you. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Toyrem: 1:11pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
laylow001: Dude women are always confused and don't know what they want. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 1:14pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
andromida: Brother,there is something your wife has been telling you that you are not heeding to this has led to her scatter it all attitude. She is hurting and expressing it in the only way she knows will get your attention.Women just like to justify bullshit. If another woman had come here to make the OP's complaint, all the women on here would be calling for his balls and saying he's not a real man. If you cannot help, zip it. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Nobody: 1:20pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
Kokosheen, while I agree that post partum depression causes some of these attitudes the poster mentioned that this started after they married before pregnancy and child birth. It worsened in his oppinion after her mothers visit. So I doubt PPD is the case here even though am no therapist. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by Toyrem: 1:22pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
onoja12: two choices t.b.j or a second wife choice is yours or na death get u sooni think the first choice is okay now. Try another one and come back to tell us ur new experience. I beg life go on and on. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by mikedaniel76gmailcom(m): 1:25pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
No gain sayin. Ur wifee is posessed with some spiritual husband stuff, and no about of dialogue wud do. All she needs is a touch from prophet TB joshua. And as a mata of fact, ur marraige to ha was aplot from hell to put ur career in dis aray. |
Re: My Wife Has Changed Negatively, Please Advice Me. by oluagness(m): 1:26pm On Apr 20, 2013 |
jakesund: tell her you think you've also lost the feelings you have for her and u want a DIVORCE that madness in her will flee with immediate effect .women tend to act crazy when given too much attention and control .if u don't act now it'll only get worse. WAKE UP AND TAKE CHARGEthe path that lead to premature death to some lead to success and everlasting happiness to some. Not all Marriage is hot. I thank God for mine. Pray always that your woman may not change to Jezebel. |
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