I think u should let your family be aware, get out of that house fast and stay with your parent until he's cool down.

Then see if things can be straighten up.

Givee it another shot and see if it can work again cos u guys have come a long way.

This time if things are not going well, see your lawyer and just walk

Popowaa: What are u waiting for?
Just forget what ppl will say brave up and walk out.

That's a very devilish advice

If this story is true(likely) and portharcourt boy is the husband(OP hasn't come out to refute) Then, any body that posts advice and abuse/cuss for the guy and doesn't do same for OP is being insincere, double standard-ed(?), and a sexist.
Be objective when making ur opinions.

About a year ago, you posted on this same forum "My Fiance is verbally Abusive". You talked about how hot-tempered he is, how he calls u names and how he has pushed u several times. At the time, you were not married to him and fellow nairalanders(almost everyone that made comments) strongly advised you to leave.To refresh your memory,here is the link: https://www.nairaland.com/957132/fiance-verbally-abusive . Now you are back here,one year later,in a marriage u were advised against on this same forum, seeking for help.....ain't that confusing? My opinion: I believe you need to resolve a very private problem, because that reason that made u marry him despite seeing all the wrong signs will still make you stay in the marriage,regardless of how bad he becomes....

Doctorazz: I never thought i would be saying this ,but here i am.

My husband whom i dated for 8 years and have been married to for under 1 year has turned me into a punching bag.i went through his phone and confronted him via bb msg for a chat he had with a certain female friend and there and then he started landing slaps on me,my head,ear,face etc for more than 6 hrs i have been feeling intense headache.

He apparently has a problem with his family,which he refused to disclose to me about which seems to be annoying him.He beat me mercilessly in the presence of our maid.


I've been of great assistance to him before we got married. Right from our university days, i always shared my pocket money with him,etc. been extremely nice to him even though i have my own human errors.

Looking back now,he always had the signs of wife battery,but in a way,i blame myself,because when i should have left,i discovered i was pregnant thereby being trapped in such a terrible situation.

My parents think i have the best marriage because they are aware of only his good sides,but at home, behind closed doors,he is a demon.

I am living in a nightmare,don't know what to do.

I feel like running away.

pls nairalanders help ,i don't want to be the woman her husband killed.!!!

Get alawiye iwe kefa and read how a woman milk a lion with patience and learn to control your tongue. That you grow together and feed him does not give you a license to disrespect him.
No matter what he says just keep your mouth shut.

If you divorce him, how many men will you leave to divorce

xandy84: Am kind of confuse with the whole story... @PortHarcourtBoy are you the husband? If yes then make i arrange fight for you nah with may-weather nah

You want make madam come open thread 2morrow "how my husband was beating up by an arranged weather frm a nairalander"

That said. Portharcourt boy, just 1 Question: you have 'known' OP for a very long time before marrying her, its not possible for her to hide her flaws for 8 yrs. WHY DID YOU STILL MARRY HER despite all these shortcomings u mentioned?

Texas.Cowgirl:

This are the two most fooooooolish couples I've seen on Nairaland


Wife: he has always shown signs of wife battery, but I still married him

Husband: she can't cook and fcuuuuuukkkk to my satisfaction, but I still married her

Both: Help!!!

Nairalanders: what do you want us to do?

beats me The lady is even more foolish compared to her husband. With eyes wide open she walks into a yawning ditch...what sympathy does she expect from the general public? Whatever suggestions you give are likely to fall on deaf ears since this is not the first time they will wash their dirty linen in the public.

So let's be real now. If you ask me, I think doctorazz is prolly on punishment( stool down, kuru maga, ijoko idera etc) atm. She posted stuff on here, her 'brute' husband saw it, and she hasn't posted again since then. If u av her number call her to make sure she is alive o.

Am sorry he hit you. but women are trible after marriage I just got myself one after 5years of dating I can't believe I just miSsed it myself.....

@Post

This is what happens when you people rush into marriages with 'boys' instead of men. Portharcourtboy is your husband right? You knew he was abusive even during your courtship days yet you chose to marry him because you were/are pregnant. You see why it is good to abstain from sex until marriage? If you had not allowed Portharcourtboy to defile your body for 8 good years all in the name of boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe by now, the guy will have more respect for you.

You ladies think that giving a man access to your private part will lead to a happily-married-ever-after but that way of thinking is wrong. My father King Daddy Jehovah was not crazy when he created sex for married folks only and not singles who are dating. As long as we human beings refuse to obey God's instructions, we will continue to reap the consequences.

You better divorce that boy because REAL MEN don't hit women and know how to keep their tempers in check.

Texas.Cowgirl:

This are the two most fooooooolish COUPLES I've seen on Nairaland


Wife: he has always shown signs of wife battery, but I still married him

Husband: she can't cook and fcuuuuuukkkk to my satisfaction, but I still married her

Both: Help!!!

Nairalanders: what do you want us to do?

They are ONE COUPLE ma.

Hmmmm wonder shall nver end, the wife beater even has d guts 2 reply his wife on social media, ahha dis is serious ooo nd some are even advisn her 2 pray. My dear, ur hubby's mind is made up u beta run 4 ur dear life b4 it's late oooo.

dasparrow: @Post

This is what happens when you people rush into marriages with 'boys' instead of men. Portharcourtboy is your husband right? You knew he was abusive even during your courtship days yet you chose to marry him because you were/are pregnant. You see why it is good to abstain from sex until marriage? If you had not allowed Portharcourtboy to defile your body for 8 good years all in the name of boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe by now, the guy will have more respect for you.

You ladies think that giving a man access to your private part will lead to a happily-married-ever-after but that way of thinking is wrong. My father King Daddy Jehovah was not crazy when he created sex for married folks only and not singles who are dating. As long as we human beings refuse to obey God's instructions, we will continue to reap the consequences.

You better divorce that boy because REAL MEN don't hit women and know how to keep their tempers in check.

Haba bros. C as u just run curve the topic to Sex before marriage. I'm sure you know there are pros and cons to it. Tho as xtians we shouldn't do it, but......hmmn *sigh* there r sha advantages and disadvantages

[quote author=Doctorazz]I never thought i would be saying this ,but here i am.

My husband whom i dated for 8 years and have been married to for under 1 year has turned me into a punching bag.i went through his phone and confronted him via bb msg for a chat he had with a certain female friend and there and then he started landing slaps on me,my head,ear,face etc for more than 6 hrs i have been feeling intense headache.
He apparently has a problem with his family,which he refused to disclose to me about which seems to be annoying him.He beat me mercilessly in the presence of our maid.
I've been of great assistance to him before we got married. Right from our university days, i always shared my pocket money with him,etc. been extremely nice to him even though i have my own human errors.
Looking back now,he always had the signs of wife battery,but in a way,i blame myself,because when i should have left,i discovered i was pregnant thereby being trapped in such a terrible situation.
My parents think i have the best marriage because they are aware of only his good sides,but at home, behind closed doors,he is a demon.
I am living in a nightmare,don't know what to do.
I feel like running away.
pls nairalanders help ,i don't want to be the woman her husband killed.!!!
ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
So U̶̲̥̅̊ have been sleeping with men B4 marrige ĄЙd̶̲̥̅̊ Ɣ☺ΰ̊ don't think U̶̲̥̅̊ need some beatings (not much sha) enjoy your beatings Ɣ☺ΰ̊ need it If U̶̲̥̅̊ are in Lagos ur mates are all over go to Ipodo dem boku !!,

Rhemmymatician:
They are ONE COUPLE ma.

Thank you... Unmarried ovasabi dat wants to fall off 3rd mainland bridge bcus of anoda mans palava

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud, was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

u must b flogged 64 strokes if u r d husband , 2 of una carry una wahala come nairaland, bt wn una dey bang una self 4 bed, una knw seek 4 advice o

joeace2020:

Thank you... Unmarried ovasabi dat wants to fall off 3rd mainland bridge bcus of anoda mans palava

Erm...I'd hope you aren't cussing me.

Ask God for great strength n beat him blue black, then take him to the hospital and pack out

2goodbobo: Never ever worry about what people will say. Especially if it has to do with life and death. One thing I have come to realize in this life, is that no matter what you do, whether good or bad people must talk. Right now your life is more important than what people will say.

I cannot advice you on whether to divorce him or not cos I don't want to put asunder what God has joined together. I will advice you take this to the family section, you will get numerous suggestions there and then weigh your options and pick the ones/one that is okay for you.

guy who told you God joined them together? The God I know can not give you with left hand and collect with right hand.his gifts don't bring pain ,d sorrow but love and peace. My dear sister Christ paid the prize of all our pains so if you are experiencing any pain called domestic violence plsssssssss God did not sign that one.

Rhemmymatician:
Great Idea! Get the scum+bag beaten!
Quick Question, in the event where whoever the person/people mistakenly 'overbeat' and he ends up dead. Will you be able to live with yourself knowing you made yourself a widow?

I said: FIRST let your family talk to him IF he then doesn't stop .... well, then he asked for what he will get.

And honestly, from a sister's and future mother's perspective, I will make sure ANY man who lays Hand on my sisters or my daughters will receive the beating of his life. Who doesn't want to hear, must feel.

Have YOU in return asked yourself what her family will feel like when HE "overbeats"?

Anyway, the story has taken a turn, we have heard the husband's perspective now and I think the best is they go seperate ways, for the sake of the child, it shouldn't grow up in this crazy environment,

carefreewannabe:

I said: FIRST let your family talk to him IF he then doesn't stop .... well, then he asked for what he will get.

And honestly, from a sister's and future mother's perspective, I will make sure ANY man who lays Hand on my sisters or my daughters will receive the beating of his life. Who doesn't want to hear, must feel.

Have YOU in return asked yourself what her family will feel like when HE "overbeats"?

Anyway, the story has taken a turn, we have heard the husband's perspective now and I think the best is they go seperate ways, for the sake of the child, it shouldn't grow up in this crazy environment,

You have spoken well. Seperation it is. Its obvious that the bridge has burnt, everybody go back to your house.
But I sense the lady will want to still harbour a hope of saving d marriage. That's almost a decade o!

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud, was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

MR MAN, be a man and control ur family.

carefreewannabe:

I said: FIRST let your family talk to him IF he then doesn't stop .... well, then he asked for what he will get.

And honestly, from a sister's and future mother's perspective, I will make sure ANY man who lays Hand on my sisters or my daughters will receive the beating of his life. Who doesn't want to hear, must feel.

Have YOU in return asked yourself what her family will feel like when HE "overbeats"?

Anyway, the story has taken a turn, we have heard the husband's perspective now and I think the best is they go seperate ways, for the sake of the child, it shouldn't grow up in this crazy environment,

Lol @ who doesn't want to hear must feel.
On a serious note. I wnt to believe u r nt being objective or sexist(forgive me if I'm wrong, most ladies are that, wen it comes to these kind of issues) what if the husband is ur broda, will u get him beat for beating his wife?(Honest answer pls) 2. If he was ur broda, even as a wife-beater, will you pass the same judgement yu passed?

Abuse is wrong regardless if you are a man or a woman. If your partner hits you, leave. Retaliating is not a valid excuse!! What kind of a relationship/marriage is this if both beat each other up? Definitely a bad environment for the child. It is time to get out and move on.

Rooneyboy:

Brave up !

After just one year of marriage

This ur advise is a very difficult pill to swallow.

*pls put urself in her shoes .

Bros dead body no dey swallow pill...

She needs to choose from been a divorced woman, damaged woman (physical & mentally) or dead woman. Either way, people go still talk...

mbulela:
He only said she can't cook. He did not accuse her of the other.

Lmao.!!!!

Rhemmymatician:
Lol @ who doesn't want to hear must feel.
On a serious note. I wnt to believe u r nt being objective or sexist(forgive me if I'm wrong, most ladies are that, wen it comes to these kind of issues) what if the husband is ur broda, will u get him beat for beating his wife?(Honest answer pls) 2. If he was ur broda, even as a wife-beater, will you pass the same judgement yu passed?

You ask a valid question, but I have a counter question. If one of your relatives is abusing his/her spouse, would you just look the other way? What if its one of your relatives being beat up by his/her spouse? What would you do in either situation?

PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...

Passing judgments without hearing from both parties...

She never mentioned unprovoked attacks like slaps, breaking my shoulder twice as well as bruising my hand on the rough wall and most recently, breaking my tablet...If all these while she attacks me without a retaliatory attack from me, why cry wolf when I attack in self defence?...

I need clarity from her on assistance in Uni days...for crying out loud, was I a hungry student even with a ride on Campus and a comfortable off-k apartment?

I have told her if she wishes to leave, she can get the hell out...women borku left, right and centre, no time...she cannot cook, she cannot do anything, such a lazy azz, no african man wants a lazy azz, she can leave if she so wishes instead of killing me...and for the period she's still around, she should stay off my phones...why should I be asleep and she's busy searching my phones, even when she chats with guys, etc, I keep deaf ears...

My 2 cents...

Are you the man in question? I believe that you are.
Is like there is a big problem here as I think two of you needs counselling here as both of you cannot be here exposing yourselves.
There is a big problem here which requires urgent attention from close family members.

GatJokez:

You ask a valid question, but I have a counter question. If one of your relatives is abusing his/her spouse, would you just look the other way? What if its one of your relatives being beat up by his/her spouse? What would you do in either situation?

Nice move! But don't you think its fair I get answers to my questions? Else I would come up wiv a counter-question and we won't learn anything from this debacle