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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag (33320 Views)
My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help / Woman Divorces Her Husband Of 25 Years For Turning Her Into A Punching Bag / Help!!! My Husband Has Been Sleeping With Our Daughter (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Goldenboy007(m): 12:12am On Jul 22, 2013 |
PortharcourtBoy - I just had the opportunity to read your replies, trust me i understand what you going through and i also understand the frustration that made both of you bring your situation to the public anonymously. I can't deny it, I know women very very very very very very well !!!!! can you count the number of "very" ? I know what they are capable of doing !! i know how they would be the one to look for trouble and the first one to shout wolf wolf !!! Without reading your replies i already knew there was more to it than she had been saying,so it was good you were able to reply. An unrestricted forum like this isn't an ideal source for the the type of counseling you both need, even teenagers have access to comment here so you can imagine the types of comments you would receive. I respect you for trying to make your relationship work by going ahead with the wedding despite her shortcomings, not many men would do that and trust me it is this same people your wife would report you to by writing "My wicked Fiance jilted me after 8 years of courtship" and they would have condemned you as they are doing now. However, I would fault you for running out of patience, i can understand how you must have continuously endured the frustration but you lost a good point by hitting her, the modern society favors women so it would count against you. I know you have worked so hard to build a good life for yourself so don't allow someone to ruin it for you by making you vulnerable to costly mistakes. If she reports this over here, police won't listen to your side at all o, you would be handcuffed immediately for domestic assault! Sir, try make it work. You have been with her for more than 8 years so i know there is something you like about her. Seek counsel from your family elders or pastors, don't believe leaving her you can find a better woman out there o, trust me i know this when i tell you the difference between them are not much. For the sake of that innocent child work at it because no marriage is perfect, everyone just try to hide their own and would rather pass judgement on others! Take care and i wish God intervenes in your marriage. 11 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by collynzo2(m): 12:32am On Jul 22, 2013 |
This OP is a big fool! Check out her other topic a year ago, she complained of being maltreated by this same person who was just a Fiance then. Majority of the posters asked her to quit before it's too late, she ignored their advice and went ahead to marry the guy, now she's back to ask the same people for advice. What a fool! The OP must be a very dumb and annoying person, I feel sorry for her husband. She has managed to make me so angry over the internet, how much more her husband who has wakes up next to her every day. Damn! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by code0: 2:05am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Goldenboy007: PortharcourtBoy - I just had the opportunity to read your replies, trust me i understand what you going through and i also understand the frustration that made both of you bring your situation to the public anonymously. UP THE 77 VIRGINS! UP OBAMA SOUL MICROCHIP!! UP THE ILLUMATI FOR MAKING THE BOY STUUPID. UP THE LIQUOR. |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by chokolatte: 2:32am On Jul 22, 2013 |
I read through some of the past posts of this couple while they were dating. The foundation of their wedding is faulty they both had issues with each other's attitudes during coutship and still went ahead to get married...They didn't count the costs of their shortcomings.... It's always good to ask yourself if you can stick with ur partners shortcomings for the rest of your life before settling down with him or her. Marraige is not a child's play and whatever a man and woman do not like about themselves during courtship worsens after marraige. Portharcourt boy has no regard for his wife and she caused it. Women earn their respect from their men during and after courtship and it comes by showing themselves as being responsible and up to the task of being a wife and mother. Dear Doctorrazz with your husbands comments about you before marriage it shows you were not on top of your game and you already failed the marriage test...but its not too late to change... humble urself and be more hardworking its shameful when a woman cannot cook or clean her house.What values will you instill in your children.How will you discipline them if you urself lack discipline. Your children like your husband wont even respect you if you come across to them as a lazy woman. Men are big babies show them you are all the mother they need and earn ur respect my dear that's how to play the game and also be prayerful about your marriage, commit your husband, home and children to God. Sweetheart you can manipulate any situation to work in your favour with the power of prayer. Read the last book of proverbs and learn how to be a woman. What you have given to your marriage is what you are getting out of it.Women are the managers of their home and should work hard at their marriages if they want to enjoy it. When a man starts telling you to leave if u want to because you have failed to play ur part as a woman then it shows you have been adding no value to his life and he sees you as a liability, which is very embarrassing for any woman. i read some of ur husband's past posts concerning you, while you were dating and i felt ashamed for you. Like i said its not too late to change.Your husband has his weaknesses no doubt but please play your part. Work at your weaknesses..May God be with you and save your marriage by his grace all the best. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Mystery11(m): 2:52am On Jul 22, 2013 |
code_0: THE ILLUMATI LET OBAMA MICROCHIP TAKE How many of it did you take. Your brain is almost gone. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Mystery11(m): 2:58am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Both the poster and the husband are guilty as charged.It is not very common here seeing couple washing their dirty linen here. Its either they come together and resolve their differences or they seperate. Even when they were dating,they knew they were not really made for themselves but ignored the open truth.Maybe they could not seperate because of the long time involved. Resolve or dissolve the marriage. SIMPLE. |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Decryptor(m): 3:13am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Goldenboy007: PortharcourtBoy - I just had the opportunity to read your replies, trust me i understand what you going through and i also understand the frustration that made both of you bring your situation to the public anonymously.The best analysis and advice ever! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Decryptor(m): 3:13am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Goldenboy007: PortharcourtBoy - I just had the opportunity to read your replies, trust me i understand what you going through and i also understand the frustration that made both of you bring your situation to the public anonymously.The best analysis and advice ever! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Decryptor(m): 3:15am On Jul 22, 2013 |
code_0:It will not be well with the person who did this to you. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by ameenahz(f): 4:29am On Jul 22, 2013 |
I never imagined myself saying this to anyone, but you guys shouldnt have gotten married to each other. I wen thru PortHarcourt boy's post and i must say, if my sister courts and then marries that kind of man, i will cut off contacts with her. And if my brother complains about a woman like that, i will chase away such woman myself (although that their type of courtship isnt really Godly o). But, when u are in, u are in. So u both have to strive to make it work. For the sake of your child. U endured each other for 8,9 years, so i think u can still make it work. @OP; Very simple solution: You married him for the wrong reasons. But it isnt too late. Now that have seen the 'world', i expect you to be more matured and be very open. Be very ready to improve.Sharpen your cullinary skills AND Be flexible. Your mother's way may not be your mother in law's way. I had 2 learn how to do so many things my MIL's way too to satisfy my husband and whenever i visit my mother, i cook her food her way. It is very simple! IF you are lazy, then you've got it all wrong. A woman cannot afford to be lazy. Improve on yourself. Start your day by keeping your immediate environment clean, then it will be easier to keep the whole house clean. One more thing, it is difficult to do sometimes, but pls, go easy on ur husband anytime he does something to displease you. Maybe u should not react until u have let go of your anger. Overraecting will not keep a man 'on the right track', trust me. @PortHarcourt boy: A man will not beat his wife for ANY reason. Leave her bed, leave the house, give her the silent treatment, report her to ur pastor or family and friends BUT PLS, no beating. As demeaning as emotional abuse can be, i can still put up with that. But the day a man goes physical, it is finished o. U rly need Anger Management classes. Even the way u 'respond' is completely out of it. Work on your temper. Involve God in this. Be very open. Let your woman know how you want your things done and giver her more than enuf time to improve. Work on her 'nyanshing skills' yourself. At least, i'm sure she wont refuse if u gently say 'darling, pls come on top, or turn this way', abi?. And pls, while u are at it, be very patient with her. Rome was not built in a day. If you both can seriously invite God into ur marriage and work on ur flaws (admit that u both have them), maybe, just maybe u can work something out. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by chuks824(m): 6:16am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Madam have u been a good wife to ur husband. do u have anything to say about his own side of the story above. Pls know that devoce is not an option, u can make ur home peaceful, know what ur husband like and do it and know what gets him angrie and avoid it. Pls dont forget that prayer is the key. If u leave ur husband one of this ladies will jump in observe this rules and live with him peacefull forever |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by BluStreak(m): 6:25am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Daresh: Take it easy woman! If yours was as much a fool as you are making this one (portharcourtboy) sound, you won't be back together whether in your own terms or not. You are lashing out on the guy unjustly. The husband has spoken and he made some points too which I expect you guys to analyze. All the married men here know these wives can really push the hidden devil's button in us at-times. It only takes a man with deep-rooted patience, self-control & discipline not to hit the woman. Ladies/wives here sincerely answer this question: How will you feel, you wake up in the middle of the night & find your husband or boyfriend rummaging through your phone reading your sms/bbm/whatapp messages even when you know you have nothing to hide? OP: Marriage is like walking the rope, the more your persevere and learn the rules, the better you become at it. But if you guys keep doing the same thing, don't expect a different result. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by olushowunm(m): 6:27am On Jul 22, 2013 |
@OP... I will have to be sincere with you.. You need to learn to be happy in your marriage, create boundaries so you don't get on the bad side of your man... First, take caution of nagging habit, a man got a lot to think about than be confronted with unproductive nagging attitude of yours... For you heart safety, don't ever look through your huzy's phone, chat transcript or email messages... If he does not love you enough, he will not put a ring on the finger.. so you need to trust him in return.. Respect your huzy's privacy and you will be fine, if he wants to share his family's trouble then you are all ears, if not... he thinks he does not concern you and you are better off if you stay out of what does not concern you! Then my last words for you, if you even caught him on matrimonial bed with another woman, just don't talk about it, if you reacts, you have lost it... in this game silence is the best weapon a woman have against a man and not nagging and endless shouts... Be calm & you are fine. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by playahP(m): 6:51am On Jul 22, 2013 |
peziz: Are you the husband? Are nairalanders this dumb?..... Can't u see the big picture he is painting? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by ALEXIS0240: 7:09am On Jul 22, 2013 |
debrief08: I like it when 2 insane people find themselves and fight to the death. Saves other innocent sane people from ending up with crazies.aunty it is not all engagement that leads to marriage.you cant continue living your life with him like a slave,before he starts with the violence.i'll advise you withdraw yourself gradually and if at all he notices and comes for you,then you tell him how you've been trying to please him and the way he shows his level of appreciation. |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by navyman5(m): 7:55am On Jul 22, 2013 |
satan is really using u.give ya life to christ now or never. Pipsland78: |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Santi19(m): 8:13am On Jul 22, 2013 |
eagle,eye:Can't you read?? She said *for more than 6hours I've been feeling intense headache* 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Nobody: 8:28am On Jul 22, 2013 |
navyman5: satan is really using u.give ya life to christ now or never.Ode ni eleyi sha. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by angelseddy(f): 8:31am On Jul 22, 2013 |
The woman is question knows what to do, she's just scared to make the move cuz somwia inside she still has strong feelings for him. I guess one thing is to be learnt here: don't marry som1 with the hope that they'll change. If u can't accept d present package jst gather strength and move on. If u settle for less, u get even less than u settled for. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Reference(m): 8:42am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Very complex indeed. Very surprised informed decisions couldn't be taken after 8 years of courtship. More information is needed before I can grasp the problem but one thing for sure, men should not beat their wives and no one should remain in an abusive relationship. |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by eherbal(m): 8:44am On Jul 22, 2013 |
@ op. Peace, be calm. The only people in the position to advise you are marriage counselors or an experienced couple who's been through this kind of turbulence. I can promise you those asking you to leave the relationship, are either divorced, or have no first hand experience in marital affairs, save for what they watch on tv, see on agony aunt columns, or cases reported to them. It is a well known case that the first five to six years of marriage is challenging, with couples struggling to come to terms with the new personality of someone whom they thought they've known most of their lives. Have you ever thought of your own short comings and try to sort yourself out? Have you ever had a passionate and patient discussion with him devoid of blame or trying to be defensive and justified ? What kinda lifestyle did both of you live as dates way back. That's also a very strong determinant of what your relationship will be presently. Don't let the advice of retaarded goons on NL be a yardstick for your decisions. Remember, it's only advisory and not binding, as most of these rascals just post for the fun of it and really don't mean what they post. Most importantly, they won't be there to help out if it turns out against you. Funny enough too some of them are facing worst predicament in their homes and would want you to be their experimental guinea pig. Please for the sake of Almighty God, your young salvageable marriage, and your child think it over. No matter how bad it is, there's ALWAYS a positive outlook to it. It's better it starts out bad and end up good, than the other way around. Why I'm telling you these? I've been married for six years and gone through hell and back, now I'm in bliss paradise, cause of prayers, patience, and perseverance.oh and tolerance too . marriage is not the make believe we read or watch on soap operas. It is truly an institution. Thanks dear. God redeem you and your husband, AMEN ![]() |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by McLuhan(m): 8:45am On Jul 22, 2013 |
PortHarcourtBoy: This is the problem with Nigerians...If you are the wife-battering husband of this lady then you're obviously a slowpoke and you should be ashamed of yourself for beating up a pregnant woman. You are just trying to find excuses for the torture you are putting the poor lady through. But thank your stars that she is not my sister. If she were my sister or even a close relative of mine, I would have made you regret the day you laid your hands on her. I've NEVER beaten up my wife and I will NEVER do so. If any pathetic so-called husband thinks he can do that to my sister, then it will be when I'm no longer alive. If I'm alive and kicking, nothing will stop me from breaking every possible bone in that fool's body. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Ishilove: 8:45am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Reference: Very complex indeed. Very surprised informed decisions couldn't be taken after 8 years of courtship. More information is needed before I can grasp the problem but one thing for sure, men should not beat their wives and no one should remain in an abusive relationship.Personally, I feel the story is as false as Nicki Minaj's buttocks... ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by kreamidiva(f): 8:48am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Goldenboy007: PortharcourtBoy - I just had the opportunity to read your replies, trust me i understand what you going through and i also understand the frustration that made both of you bring your situation to the public anonymously. U sound like my husband! Eish! Smh.... IMO,under no circumstance is a man allowed to beat a female.what makes u d man if u can't control urself ![]() |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by WildChild00(m): 8:48am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Ishilove: prove it.... |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Nobody: 8:51am On Jul 22, 2013 |
1. Pls DON’T listen to folks telling u to leave ♈ōϋя̅ Husband, Reason is because u two made a vow to stay together forever no matter what any of u go through. 2. DON’T broadcast ♈ōϋя̅ marital issues to JUST ANYONE because most folks haven’t gone through marriage and its consequences (even if they have gone through such union, most folks would blatantly give u what so ever they deem fit without proper understanding/ 1st hand experience and if you carry out these actions, you might regret d consequences). 3. For goodness sake, pls 1st forgive urself and also forgive ♈ōϋя̅ partner, meet with him and open up ♈ōϋя̅ mind air ur opinion and how bad he treated you and made you feel. 4. Should he continue such inhuman evil acts of assault take the̶̲̥̅̊ matter to ♈ōϋя̅ family and let them inform his family via family meeting. Most men respect their families and their inlaws. 5. Seek sound Godly counselling from elderly happily married couples that practice same faith as u do. 6. Most important of all, P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens) don't underestimate the̶̲̥̅̊ power of GOD in ♈ōϋя̅ life and in your marrital affairs. GOD is the author of marriage and he is ♈ōϋя̅ creator, he can turn any stony heart to a heart for humanity for love for peace and progress and everything that pertains to Godliness. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Nobody: 9:00am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Goldenboy007: PortharcourtBoy - I just had the opportunity to read your replies, trust me i understand what you going through and i also understand the frustration that made both of you bring your situation to the public anonymously. Goldenboy007, Okijajuju, Chokolatte, BluStreak, Olushowunm, e-herbal and a few others, God bless you for your wisdom and ur ability to x-ray issues and pass good judgments... 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Idowuogbo(f): 9:03am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Fake couple! Fake story! U jobless excrembres! U na still here dey type Bullshyte? Last year, na verbal abuse, this year na physical abi? Who go post obituary next year? Doctorwerey or POrtharcourtagbero? Watch out for part 3!!!! Grab ya copy from d nearest Abule awon werey!!! 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Idowuogbo(f): 9:04am On Jul 22, 2013 |
kreami diva:Ur husband dey beat u and pet u she? Eyah... Pele! |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by debosky(m): 9:07am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Idowuogbo: ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by Nobody: 9:10am On Jul 22, 2013 |
Op,you've done wrong for coming to nl to complain to humiliate ur husband . It shows you don't respect him at home. PH Boy pls forgive ur wife and respect her as well, you don't have to say all dat in a public forum to ur wife no matter what she said. |
Re: My Husband Has Turned Me To A Punching Bag by debosky(m): 9:13am On Jul 22, 2013 |
If the story is true, this woman is quite foolish - after all the warning signs, she jumped in. From worrying about engagement shame to worrying about divorce shame + beating. ![]() All in order to bear Mrs so and so? If they are truly slapping each other and breaking shoulders, then I agree with debrief - y'all shouldn't get divorced. Just keep beating each other and spare other men and women the hassle. No one else should have to endure this bad behaviour - they are a perfect match. 1 Like |
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