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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Read Well And Avoid Alcohol (668 Views)
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Read Well And Avoid Alcohol by sholabanke(m): 5:36pm On May 30, 2008 |
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him 9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" 12. The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,. 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. |
Re: Read Well And Avoid Alcohol by olulu(m): 5:43pm On May 30, 2008 |
nice one ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Read Well And Avoid Alcohol by Abbygyal(f): 6:13pm On May 30, 2008 |
cul ![]() |
Re: Read Well And Avoid Alcohol by Nobody: 2:29pm On May 31, 2008 |
Bla Bla Bla |
Re: Read Well And Avoid Alcohol by clemcykul(f): 2:53pm On May 31, 2008 |
stale |
Re: Read Well And Avoid Alcohol by sholabanke(m): 6:35pm On May 31, 2008 |
I have learned that if you upset your wife, she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it's worth the extra effort? |
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