kingphilip:
the Rock hold dis guy na him be the person wey beat u pass.lekins abeg arrange ur boys for dis guy him own don too much jare

LOLS......e b lyk say guardroom dey hungry you to sleep..i go report u to ma papa oo,,..
#BTW i went dere to check on ma cousin...i for help rock fight dat day na...if to say him hala me.

lekinz: lekins abeg arrange ur boys for dis guy him own don too much jare[/b]

Ehya....Me and my boys get off today....shey u don forget ni sey......"NO BOUNCER,NO BOUNCING,NO BOUNCES,NO BOUNCED"

Abeg help me tell am oo,, today na grace period..

Omo Calabar, do & come & update oh...cuz i can't shout.

kingphilip:
make i kukuma carry lekins babe go flex now

U no fit naw...

u dis boi u no go kill person..well nice story dere.nd rily pleased reading ur story wit all ur jara bt seriously shey na u fyn reach that xtent...#wink.make i no frget wen u wan finish this story

shey dis man no sabi time again

Wetin be time sef
*checks her Rolex wristwatch*
Oghene vwe, e never pass 8pm?
Peter, which time zone you dey?

Oga piro were art thou...*inwarrri guy”z voice*abi tym nova reach 4 ur eyes

If i tell u am not angry now its an understatement, i don type finish @7:30 sharp but mtn say e no go better for me.

Am so sad right am cus i don fail my promise, make i start allover wit etisalat again, hopefully this would be better, i would have dump mtn since o but anyway sha, tomoro am gettin airtel, dis mtn pple don cross their boundary.

Am sorru pals, let me see how fast i can type two updates, dats my punishment

The rock5555: If i tell u am not angry now its an understatement, i don type finish @7:30 sharp but mtn say e no go better for me.

Am so sad right am cus i don fail my promise, make i start allover wit etisalat again, hopefully this would be better, i would have dump mtn since o but anyway sha, tomoro am gettin airtel, dis mtn pple don cross their boundary.

Am sorru pals, let me see how fast i can type two updates, dats my punishment

sowwy love. Ouch i mean boy

[color=#77007t7][/color] This is my first comment ever on nairaland and I must say ROCK,you really Rock!!! Much love darl

Am waiting O! @Kingphilp popcorn pls. And Kunu to wash it down.

kingphilip:
as u wish my dear hope this 3 bags of popcorn and 2drums kunu will suffice u sha

wait oo..no be only una like beta tin na..uve gotta pass me ma own share ma oo,,cos me no go green dis time..

@Rock sowie ...na so MTN dey do sometimes...

Waitin for d Two updates sha,,
*starts sippin ma palm wine

THE FACEOFF 2
************

We stood up to go when the thug suddenly showed up at our front, he was holding his favourite weapon which is an axe, he reecked of alcohol and indian hemp, his eyes was blood shot and i knew we were in a lot of trouble.

Anita quickly went behind me and began shievering and praying her last prayer. I was also shaking but i had to show i was a man.

Alot of thoughts ran through my mind, i wanted telling her to flee but it may be fatal because he might throw his weapon at us. Also i was glad that atleast he was alone so there was hope.

"Sit down back, pig" he spat.

We quickly scrammbled to the chair, i choosed to buy time maybe a miracle may happen so i started speaking.

"Guy abeg, na wetin you want" i resumed my pidgin not minding if Anita heard it or not.

"I want your head, fool" he spat.

"Ha, oga i like my head o, abeg change the condition na" i pleaded.

"Ok, this your babe, i wan fucck her now for your front"

"Chai, this one too much, i like my babe but i like my head pass, bros abeg change am" i pleaed as Anita held me tighter and was now sniffing back tears.

A hot slap change the colour of my face, i freaked and hit the chair hard as one of the iron support suddenly gave way and fell to the ground. I was so happy at the turn of event that i quickly picked the iron and hid in my back pocket with out him seeing it. Now there was something to protect myself. I suddenly stood up to face the guy eyeball to eyeball. Anita was dragging me back but i shoved her back.

"Ow, you don get small liver abi?"

"No, na salt i get, if you know say you be man,make you drop this your axe make we fight hand to hand and man to man" i challenged back.

"Haahaa, person wan die today, you no know say my hand dey pain pass axe, toor, begin dig your grave" he shouted the fould words to my face as he threw away his axe and landed me a hot punch squarely on my stomach.

It was like i was hit by a trailer, i was expecting a refree to blow wistle or ring a bell like they do in wwe but i realised this was real life nad not movie.

Before i could handle the pains another punch landed on my chest as Anita screamed and i almost got a cardiasc arrest but thanks to the beatings collected from my dad and big uncle, i had gotten used to handle pain. This time his next blow was going to my temple when i decided to show him my secret weapon.

I removed the iron from my back pocket and struck his hands midway to my head with all my strenght, he screamed as his bones snapped.

I wasted no time in leveling him with a high flyer but he was up to his feet immediately and began rushing at me like a wide bull.

I slided at the ground like kofi kingston and hit him hard on his knee cap, he bent with one leg and looked at me with his red eyes.

His eyes suddenly budged and he held his groin and screamed before falling to the ground-unconcious.

"Omoh, i don turn to Merlin wey de kill people without touching" i said suprisingly in my mind as i realised it was Anita that hit him. She was holding his axe which she used to hit his groin, i felt pity for him.

We embraced and quickly ran out of there before the dude wakes up again. Our friends were already looking for us and they ran to meet us as they saw us.

"Guy wetin happen, where una go? we been deu find una since" Tony asked us.

"Guy, na that agbero dude o, he attacked us for love garden but i don level am sha" i said in one breath.

"So that guy no even fear self, guys make we go cut him property(dicck) come here" he shouted angrily when Anita told him how he wanted r'aping her.

I begged them to just stay back that he wont disturb me again but Tony promised to deal with him in his own time.

"Thanks for standing for me" Anita said still embracing me once again.

"Dont worry dear, its just a small thing for me, i usually watch commando films alot" i bragged.

She laughed and slapped me on my back which i did not complain.

"Since you save me, i would love to give you a gift"

"Whats that" i asked expecting her to take us to one room for hot bleeping.

She began removing her sim card and handing over her phone to me.

"For what na?" i asked suprised.

"So that i can call you this night, i would buy another one if am going home" she pleaded.

See me see BB but i lied that my aunt was sending my phone from UK that day so i would call her-when my aunt no even know Ghana road self. She was sad that i refused her gestures but she had no choice. We finally embraced again and seperated.

I was walking to the gate when i saw a black thin boy who looked like an Aids patient, he told me his name was spatacle, i had pity on him and gave him 50naira to buy garri and he knelt down and thanked me.

That night my father came back with very bad news but it was good to hi, or so i thought..

To Be Continued...

For d first time etisalat get full network, am so glad. Make i cont sharperly. My next update is dedicated to ths thread newest member-hibty.

@jumizie- so na me u dey call boy abi, make i catch u for backyard.

@kingphilip-u are d best cook eva, not like lekinz wey declear public holiday and firstgentleman wey go vacation and hackerjay wey advert finish from him mouth

typing in my new found speed of light.

Still i write...

haha, why you the yab oga spactacle na

;DM honoured gracias

Chai!!!!! Rock na me u dey yab abi.......no worry because of u ah go turn writer or so i tot...

Btw dis guy down yab me be dat o and him dey happy...

nice one bruv
but i nor understand your last suspense o¡

I wonder wat the bad news might be. Am nt gonna sleep until I see the second update u promise us Mr Rock.
Mr Spactacle, did u snatch Rock's wife or wat? Sowweee o, buh it is actually funny

Sexy Sapphire: I wonder wat the bad news might be. Am nt gonna sleep until I see the second update u promise us Mr Rock.
Mr Spactacle, did u snatch Rock's wife or wat? Sowweee o, buh it is actually funny

i dont know for Rock oo..

Thank you daerie......

TO HIBTY MY NEWEST MEMBER ON BOARD.

PASSING TIMES
*************

My father came back from his Lagos conference with lots of goodies and hot gist, he finally went inside and brought my phone, maybe his general overseer preached on giving back to your children their properties back, or so i thought.

I thanked him like my soul depended on it and quickly ran to the room with my gala and yourghurt to call my Anita. She picked it on the first ring like she had been waiting all along for my call.

She cut the call and called back in order not to finish my credit, i was on esctacy and i wished my dream would never finish. We spoke for about 30minutes like we just meet i had to cut the call when my dad called me. I recieved an alert of 200naira transfered to me and i did a secret fist pump.

"Yes daddy" i said as i got to the palour, my siblings were already there and my mother was not smiling so me sef quickly wiped the sweet lovly look on my face cus they meant business then.

My father cleared his throat and i could sense something heavy about to drop, my mom had already been told cus she was not looking happy, they spoke in our dialect which non of us heard so we never bothered.

"I have been transferred" my father finally said.

"To where?" my kid sister quickly said.

"Lafia, the capital of nasarawa state" he said again.

I asked the first question that came to my mind, "why na daddy?"

"The lafia pastor had an accident where he broke his two legs so am going there to take over from him till he gets well"

We heaved a small breath of relief, atleast there was hope that we were not leaving yet except him alone, i had chance to run my package well now.

I began smiling back to my room and finish my snack before going back to sleep. I woke up in the morning with my stomach in deep pains due to my fight with that killer dude.

I went to school and met my pals whom i escaped with after break period to go and play playstation after a teacher flogged us.

I went home to meet my kid sister and her friend playing, i passed them and went to my room to call my sweetheart. Alittle while i started hearing noises so i went to check whats up with them.

They were fighting heavily with my sister's hand holding her friends hair while she was been pummeled heavily. I wanted stopping them but stopped in my tracks when my sister began shouting 'wait'

"See you, you can not fight, you just dey blow my belly, oya dont blow my belly now you would see if i wont beat you" She bragged.

My kid sister had a lot of gust and mouth but no iota of power so i was glad that she was getting what she deserved.

They started round two when the girl immediately lifted her up and hit on the bed and began serving sweet blows to her ar'se. My sister began shouting wait again.

"Ehen, so na only yansh you sabi blow me,oya blow me on my legs and you would see if i wont tear your fat nose"

Another round of beating continued as i laughed and went out of the house to pursue more important things. My leg found its way to those my child twins shop who began chasing me and screaming 'my husband'.

This time i was ready for them, i dribbled them till they were tired so they went into their mother's shop, stole a bottle of sprite and shared it before their mother caught them. That time i knew the true meaning of Nitro speed.

The chased at me with full turbo as i danced and twisted around, i was still running when i turned my back to see if they were closed, a huge cow poo was on the ground. I step on it and the next thing i was buried on poo.

"Yeah, our husband don fall for sh it, we no go marry am again" they laughed and began walking back to their shop.

"Una must marry o, i wan marry now" i screamed as the ran from me as far as their legs could take them.

I angrily got up and sneaked home without anyone seeing me, my sister and her twins friends were reading and i knew alittle action might reach me that night.

My father travelled later that night after informing us that Pst James the Ibo man who was using my room would be the new pastor of south bank branch.

After calling my father for the upteemth time and asking if he reached sucessfully i called Anita, we talked alot and i began drifting into slumber land when the two twins walk in and wispered my name.

"Uduak, have you sleep?"

I quickly jumped up and they came to join me on my bed, that night was going to be hooot.

I remembered the first time dey slept in our house and bleep me, the elder sister was telling her twin that so i was so quiet but know bad things too much, am sure they were underating me till that day.

A hot kiss on my lips blinded my thoughts as my Brain pinged my JT saying.

'Guy, your time reach o, begin arise and shine for your light has come for puny juice.

To Be Continued...

Good nite y'all, next update rated 18plus, abeg jump am if u are underage o, i no wan hear say na me spoil person.

Tomorow is another day...

Still i ROCK

BTW, NA WHO RECIEVE THEIR BUFDAE PACKAGE FROM SLIMFREDO, JUST GOT MINE

*singing* Jesus, you are so good

kingphilip: Dis one wey the Rock commend me today maybe i go declare public holiday tomorow take celebrate am o

If u try am eh, me sef go enter two days public holiday

Dis update is so funny esp ur sister's part, I rili can't stop laffin (blow my leg lol) I can nw sleep.
By the way Rock, you're bin partial o cos wen I joined u didn't dedicate any update to me and am the very jealous type. Nanyt